From its opening passages, one of the premises of Their Eyes Were Watching God is that there are inherent differences (beyond the physical) between the ways in which men and women experience the world.
In your experience, is this true?
Why or why not?
What have you seen, heard, read, and/or experienced that makes you think as you do?
Who has it easier? Explain.
Would you want to trade places, even for a small amount of time with the opposite sex? If so, what would you want to know (school appropriate, please!)? If not, why?
(450 words/65pts)
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155 comments:
what is the word requirement/points bunje?!
In my experience? I apologize, but I really don't have much experience with being a woman. And since experiencing the world is non-observable behavior, I'd only be able to go by spoken opinions, which are highly unreliable. Therefore.....I cannot answer the first and second questions.
As for the third, the general opinions of the world are that men spend their lives seeking sex and money, while women live their lives seeking intimacy and money. Sound similar? They are extremely similar literally, but quite different connotatively. I can't stand it when people try to talk about how different men are from women. Men know how to match colors just as well as women do. A woman can be a construction worker. The sexist would oppose me, saying a woman's place is in the home, and a man doesn't know about style. Stereotypes are what fogs people's minds. Whether it's TV, movies, or books, the public is always enforcing sexist stereotypes into our heads. I always stay above these silly little stereotypes by living in reality.
Who has it easier? That depends on the age. At a young age, girls have it a lot easier. Their parents will buy those expensive clothes they need to get noticed, then a guy asks them out, and they don't even have to pay for the date. It goes like that 'til college. Guys have to get a job to pay for dates, and guys have to summon the guts to ask out the girl. The girl just needs to look pretty. Now, I wish it were different. I wish every date could be Dutch, and it was accepted for a girl to ask out a guy. Girls just laugh at such a proposition. I can hear them now. "That's ridiculous. You're just sick of having to pay for us. Stop being so selfish!"
Go ahead and think that, but don't think it to be the truth, because you know it's not. You know damn well where to find the truth, because you're gonna keep on reading.
Women have fought for a century to get the rights they have now. They want equality. Most women wonder why they can't get equality, but those women usually aren't the ones leading the fight. They don't realize that there are society-enforced reason why women are seen as inferior. The men propose to the women. The man is the "leader" of the family. Men pay for dates. Women appear emotionally fragile. Women spend hours working on their appearance so they can attract men. All this makes men look to be the superior sex. Are we really? No, of course not. Women bear the children. Women go around spouting about glass ceilings when they're the ones with the hammers.
Of course I'd want to trade places, because I'd know exactly how to get a man, cheat on a man, and keep him satisfied so he didn't do the same to me. I'd want to know if it's really that much harder to run quickly and lift bigger weights. I'd want to know why the girls' bathroom always smells better than the boys'. I'd want to know what it's like to wear provocative clothing knowing all the boys are thinking their dirty thoughts. (Seriously, do you girls even think about that stuff? I think I'd be totally creeped out to wear that stuff.)
First post =P
ARG VIKKIE YOU FIRST POST STEALER!!!! (does that count as a comment?)
I don't know who Jonny Quest is, but he needs to identify himself by his given name, take his profile off of here and GET RID OF THAT PICTURE.
Further...whoever you are Jonny, (and I suspect I know) read the question again and reconsider the first part of your response. I would not ask questions I didn't think you could answer. Do NOT make me press this issue.
Jonny quest, I can't help but dissagree with what you're saying. Girls do not have it easier than guys in those early years. I don't care what happened to YOU when YOU were growing in those devlopment years, but speaking as a girl I did not have all of those perks of being female that you seem to believe. I never once recieved those pretty clothes from my parents or those pre-paid for dates that you seem to think we always seem to get. Our lives are more than just looking pretty and giggling at male comments you twit. Sorry Bunje, but I'm getting more than just a little ticked off! This won't really answer your questions, but I can't help but feel the need to respond with a little vehemence.
And what this about seeking intimancy and money? Not every person in the world thinks that way. i don't care if I ever get married, date, or make enough money to keep me off the street, as long as I can do what i want to do, which is write, draw, and live life. I'm not looking to be rich or famous or even loved by this unforgiving and mostly unfeeling world that I live in because that doesn't bother me. I don't know what kind of world you live in, but you really need to rethink your statements and opinions before you say something that contradics with reality.
This is, unfortunately, true. We do not live in a utopia. Men (usually) can't accept women who can beat them in any physical way, and with some men, in a mental way. As Ms. Bunje had quoted last week in the board, "Well-behaved women rarely make history." Men reach for their dreams in a similar way as women do, but at the same time, we have different means of attaining what we want. Men will stare at the far-off dream and run towards it. They will work as hard as they can to achieve it. Women are also the same. However, I believe that women are a bit more cynical. We like to plot, to influence, to manipulate. We use all the resources we have. We are mentally strong in this field and we are usually the overachievers, but that is understandable seeing as we live in a patriarchal society.
I have seen only a little of the world so I do not know if this cynical view I have on the gender issue is correct as I lack any evidence to support it other then what I have now. I found out that some boys think (or would like to think) of girls as fragile and perceive us as if we were all damsels in distress and they were the shining knights in armor. Of course, I don't mean all guys because I have friends who are not like that and see females as equals. However, I have also seen tomboys being bashed. In fact, one of my guy friends has firmly told me how he believes that women shouldn't be stronger though I'm not sure if he meant it in a physical way or a mental way. Now for what I've heard. Let's start off with Soulja Boy. I would rather not list off the lyrics to "Crank Dat" but we all know that the song is degrading women. Oh, and has anyone ever heard of the "Lollipop" song? Ahem, and let's not forget those wonderful music videos of half-naked women who want to get some. This makes me think as I do, seeing as I am exposed to all this so far.
It's pretty irritating when I read about it too. I hate reading about girls who need rescuing or heros who are in love with the fragile, kind girls who always get into trouble (one of the reasons why I ended up giving up on romance novels or books a long time ago). Not all books are like that, though. I've read a little bit of the "Twilight" series and I am proud of the fact that Bella ends up being a very strong newborn, one who even Aro is threatened by. Another one of my favorite books is "Their Eyes Were Watching God", which I want to thank Ms. Bunje for making us read. Janie is independent. She wants what she wants and she also wants to be treated as an equal. She is a great character for women. She does not bow down to society. Basically, she does what she wants.
Also, I have met men who believe that the woman's rightful place is at the house, serving them what they would like. Ms. Hurston, however, has so graciously put my thoughts into words.
"It’s so easy to make yo’self out God Almighty when you ain’t got nothin’ tuh strain against but women and chickens.”
I believe that both have it hard nowadays. Women still do not have a platform as tall as men do. If they were truly equal, it wouldn't be such a big deal that a woman is running in the election. If they were equal, people would vote for the better candidate then for the minority. Then there's men. They are subjected to reverse discrimination sometimes and, for that, I feel for them. However, look at the bright side! Most of the world's top people are men and I've searched up that men occupy most of the spots on the World's Richest People list. The difference between the world's richest man (Warren Buffett, 62.0 Billion) and the world's richest woman (Liliane Bettencourt, 22.9 Billion) is large. In fact, the top 16 spots is occupied by males. What's worse is that she inherited the money! Does this mean that men are better and harder workers? No. But this goes to show you that the men do, in fact, have a little bit of an easier time getting up there.
I don't really think I would want to trade places with the opposite sex. I mean, there are times where I wish I was a guy since females have certain problems they have to deal with monthly. However, I like myself the way I am. Gender, schmender. I think we're all equal personally and no one is better than anyone else until they have proven themselves superior in that field. If that's the case, they should help others out too. We should like ourselves for who we are. I am what I am and I can't help myself. After all, "you know I wouldn't want it any other way" (Meredith Brook).
Oh, in response to Myra, I think she just told it like it is. Jonny, it's alright to think that we like looking pretty and stuff, but we do not, and I repeat DO NOT, have it easier. We do not make our dates pay or ask our parents all the time for expensive clothes. I'm not saying that you might have something in your experience that contradicts that, but listen. We work just as hard as boys do for what we get. I mean, the only logical reason I can think of that girls would need to buy expensive clothes is because of boys. Boys like looking at cute girls, and if they aren't cute, they ignore them as if they don't exist or worse, they tease them to the breaking point. Then there's the dates thing. Did you actually experience it or did you only hear and read about it? I haven't actually met a girl who forces her date to pay. The guys usually insist, though even then I think they usually split the bill in half.
I don't want to sound mean, but you are making all these assumptions on stupid facts. Do you honestly think that all women seduce, cheat, and satisfy? Please excuse me, Ms. Bunje, but that's just taking it a bit too far. Jonny needs to hear facts.
Oh, and the thing that got me most was the EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE comment. We are NOT emotionally fragile, thank you very much. Really, don't go around thinking that we're weaker because we show our emotions on certain subjects. We are proud of the fact. That doesn't make us emotionally fragile, though.
From all that I've read in your blog, I believe you haven't met a responsible, hard-working woman yet. Most of the girls in our class is responsible, and incredibly hard-working people. Your comment just pushed that away and you know what? I'll admit it, it hurts a bit to think that you think of girls this way.
Jonny, please take us into consideration.
Oh, and Myra. You're awesome, okay? Don't let him get you angry or down. You're the coolest girl I've ever met. You're nothing like what he described us to be. That goes to every girl in this class too. You're all awesome people. Don't let this guy bring you down!
@ alice & myra.
I was really just talking about the stereotypical girls. I really have respect for girls like you guys who are above the silly name brand clothing and aren't afraid to be different. You would be the type of people I was refferring to when I said "the ones leading the fight."
But the fact is, pretty much all the girls I've dated fit that little description. Of course, I've dated maybe one or two girls who are above the petty stereotypes, just as you guys are.
The stuff I wrote may have been a bit of a hyperbole, but to say it "contradicts reality" is a bit much. The question was "In your experience," so that's how I wrote. It's just like I said in the beginning of my post. My observations are anything but all-inclusive. I can't begin to imagine what really goes on in someone else's mind.
All I can say is each day I wake up and walk down halls of Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch. I get scrutinized by my peers for letting a date pay for themselves. These are just things that I notice. Maybe noone else sees it, but I do.
So, my sincere apologies, Myra and Alice. I say a TON of controversial things just to get people all up in a tissy, but this wasn't one of them. I'm all for equality. I don't even know how I live withself now that I've offended you so deeply you found it necessary to call me a "twit." (serious, not sarcasm)
Oh, and as for my refusal to answer the first two questions, I really just didn't want to start a fight with all my bias, but it looks like a riot has already started, so I'll go ahead.
Men and women experience the same world. Now, it is true that they are quite likely to go through much different things, therefore having them experiencing the world differently. However, if you could give me my own little world to raise a boy and a girl the same way, you can bet they'll turn out pretty similar. Just how do you think tomboys and metrosexuals come about? It's all in the stuff they go through. If a boy and girl are exposed to the same exact happenings, they will develop the same view of the world. Sadly, there is no way to prove this, since it is impossible to remove all outside influence, just as "The Giver" shows us. Oh, and I gained this opinion through the studies of John B. Watson.
PS: "Comments on this blog are restricted to team members." That means you don't have to worry about outsiders posting on here, Bunje. =)
Alright, alright, Schaeffer. I'm sorry... I just get a bit aggravated and I most likely didn't read it through correctly before exaggerating my own points. Ehehe...I kinda went a bit all out... Anyways, I guess you're right. And you're not a "twit" so don't worry about it.
Though I wasn't really surprised that it was you!!! Ahem, and thanks for saying that. I'm glad to know that you like girls like Myra and I. It makes me happy! :)
Sigh. It seems the makings of a gender debate have already appeared . Here's a message for all of you. Stop getting defensive. Generalizations are just that, generalizations. A major point of this entry is to show what is seen through the eyes of the other gender. Sure, you can disagree with statements and refute it, or even refute said refutes, but that should be the end of it. Pointless bickering, to be frank, should be left to children. Don't wreck your own reputation by falling to this level. I've already seen countless arguments about this very subject online between people of and beyond the level of experience of our own class. The winner? Who? They were all too stubborn to give up their egos and reach a compromise.
And...nobody cares. So instead I'll just degrade myself and say this:
Lol boyz are teh co0liest!1!!1one!
I'll post my actual blog after I gather solid facts. I hope at least some of you took the time to read this.
Oh my. Things seem too have been resolved. Curse my slow proofreading process. Oh well, the point still stands for those who post later.
Well, what better way to start off a question like this than with a few statistics and biological research findings. (Sorry Bunje, I know how much you hate/don’t rely on statistics, but I thought I’d mention them anyway.) First of all, as quoted from Biological constraints on parity between the sexes, (*****Skip to the asterisks below to get a four sentence summary******) “On average, men outperform women on a variety of spatial tasks, with the largest difference occurring on tests of spatial rotation and manipulation…Men also excel at tests of mathematical reasoning…Women, in contrast are generally better able to recall the spatial layout of an array of objects, to scan perceptual arrays quickly to find matching objects, and to recall verbal material, whether word lists or meaningful paragraphs. Hormone levels are associated with variations in cognitive pattern…Young men with low normal levels of testosterone perform better on spatial tests… Moreover, changes in cognitive pattern are related to fluctuations in hormone levels… In women, male- and female-favouring cognitive abilities change reciprocally as levels of estrogen fluctuate, across the menstrual cycle. These native cognitive differences between men and women…have certain ramifications for the representation of the sexes in different occupational and professional fields. Women are reliably found to be more nurturant than men, and to have greater interest in person-oriented occupations, while men have been shown to be more theoretical and object-oriented. In line with these differences, women gravitate to education, nursing and social work more often than men. Men and women are about equally represented in other health-related professions, but men predominate in science fields. Women are found in especially low numbers in the physical sciences and engineering. While some have argued that this must imply some form of "systemic discrimination", the evidence we have suggests that it is due to a combination of differing talents and interests. Women are less often represented at the high end of mathematical reasoning tasks than men are. This has been shown both on standard tests such as SAT-Math, but also on more rarefied math exams such as the Putnam competition, where very few women excel. The sex difference in math reasoning thus increases with increasing difficulty. Since math is a cornerstone of physics and engineering, it is not surprising that women are "under-represented" in these fields.”
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In essence, this report is telling us that women and men have different ways of thinking. Women are better at cognitive recalling, matching, and words-related tests. Men are better at Mathematics and Spatial reasoning/manipulation. This is all due to hormones. YEA!!!!!! If a man had an influx of estrogen, his recalling, matching and word-based skills would increase, reciprocally, when a woman’s hormones fluctuate during “that special time of the month” their abilities reflect the change. So there you have, scientific, evidence that women and men are different. There is also evidence that this is due to which side of the brain men use compared to women but that is another story for another time.
Yes, there are definitely fundamental differences between men and women. Women tend to show their emotions and men tend to act tough and macho. Men seem to be thought of as the thinkers and women as the caretakers as reflected in this quote by James Joyce, “Men are governed by lines of intellect - women: by curves of emotion.” Yes, this is the stereotype that everyone warns against venturing into but I’m going there anyway. The question is not what, but why? Don’t you agree? Why are women more open and men distant? Why are women thought of as caretakers and men providers? The answer is centuries old, as I’m sure everyone probably knows. Men were to be providers and women cared for them children, but that was decades ago. Unfortunately, it seems that this connation of men and women stills lingers today. I by NO means agree with it. In fact, I feel that it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Women seem to be coming back earlier and earlier after pregnancies to keep up with the men. Their drive and motivation, regrettably, outranks the men, most of the time. They give it 110%. This is not to say that men are helpless, rude, and/or lackadaisical pigs either. They give it their all, but not as often as women it seems. And it’s probably because of the decades old connotation. Men feel secure in their place because “how could a woman every replace a man?” This is definitely not the attitude I’d want to take. Here’s how I see women are like chimps, minus all of the body hair, and men are like gorillas. Chimps are deceptively cute and well mannered but once encroached upon, they are nasty, vicious creatures and will seize the opportunity to make advancements in rank, like women. Now, I’m not saying that women would kill to advance, all I’m saying is that they give it all they got. The comparison between men and gorillas is that they are big, hairy, and comfortable with their rank, feeling no treat from the competition. Due to their power and self-confidence, men/gorillas don’t react as often as women/chimps due to intruding opposition. However, when they feel threatened enough they will react, but sometimes it’s just too late. Now I don’t mean to offend anyone, but that’s how I see it. How else could the ratio of men to women in honors and AP classes and college be so skewed towards the women, then?
As for “the who has it easier part?” my answer is neither. Each gender faces their own unique set of problems that other can only hope to fathom. Women, it seems, are often tormented by other women, not physically, but emotionally, and that I can vouch for. Women just seem to have this knack for nothing what will make others hurt deep down and crush their spirit. They can reduce each other to nothing more than a pile of rumble in mere seconds. They also, as it appears to me, are still trying to over come the gender barrier. I’m sure its stressful for a women in the career world to think that her job could be give to a man just because. While I believe this is gender profiling for jobs is much less than it was 20 years, it is naïve to say that it is nonexistent. Men are constantly kept in check over what they say, how the express themselves, and other various things for fear of being labeled as “gay” or “homo”. They are often swallowed by the own emotions because the refuse to fall into the stereotype society has created for them. I’m sure there are men whom have gone crazy because they had bottled up so much emotion. It is ridiculous. And then there are the joint difficulties. Both men and women are subjected to brainwashing, especially when it comes to looks. Every ad has a size 0 supermodel and a buffed out man, whom everyone aspires to be, ok, not everyone but a lot of people. Society, as a whole, causes more stress and tension than anything else and sets the wrong goals. It has gotten so bad that Dove has made a commercial about it, saying that women, in this case, should be proud of who they are and not think twice about it. I agree and think it applies to EVERYONE. How can it not? As Jonathan Davis said, “Be yourself, let you come through.” Meaning don’t try to be someone your not; you are good enough they way you are, however sappy it may sound.
I don’t think I’d want to switch genders. While, it would be enlightening and a little creepy, I’m fine just they way I am. Ok, well, maybe for a day. Just so I could walk in someone else’s shoes. How can we ever hope to understand the opposite gender if we can’t live like them, even for a short amount of time. I truly feel that if we could step back and watch from someone else’s viewpoint there would be a lot less injustice, prejudice, and misunderstandings. While “(everyone) cannot put the same shoe on every foot, (Publilius Syrus)” every foot can certainly try it on for size.
In response to Alice/Jon/Myra:
I agree with Myra and Alice. I feel it’s kind of petty to say that women have it easer or that they are fragile. It makes me think you, Jon, rely on the stereotypes and connotations from decades ago to classify men and women. If you haven’t noticed, most of these women could easily take any men down, even if not but brute force alone. Most of your characterizations of women come from rituals that are older than U.S. !! They just have not gotten completely up to date yet, but they are getting there. Now, if you can firmly back up your beliefs with concrete evidence, from this decade, than good for you, bring it and I’ll be more than willing to listen. But to rely on TV shows and movies as evidence just is NOT going to cut it! It’s also rather offending to the male side of the human population that some of us still believe those callous and shallow labels. Now, I’m don’t mean any disrespect, but I just don’t see, especially in today’s day and age, how your view could possibly be true. As aforementioned, I will gladly listen if you can provide evidence that isn’t based off of fictitious drama shows. So I’ll be wanting, and expecting, for you to bring your best cards to the table and I look forward to it.
Well, Jon, thank you for clarifying your previous entry and like Ivan, "Curse my slow proofreading process." Anyway, once again I meant you no disrespect. Your entry just struck me as odd. Your newer post however, does find harmony with my thoughts, no, however dirty it may sound, it's not. I just mean i agree with you when you said, "I really have respect for girls like you guys who are above the silly name brand clothing and aren't afraid to be different. You would be the type of people I was refferring to when I said "the ones leading the fight."
I also think it was honorable of you to apolize and the is one of the first steps in breaking the barrier.
Looking at men and women at the most basic level, I would have to conclude that we are the same. Our course of life starts with infancym, then moves on to child hood. As we begin to mature we absorb the culture of our society and reflect it as teens. Moving to young adults we blend with society and become what everyone wants us to be (The working class). Through adulthood we pick up small perks such as marriage and the crazy, cash-spending, mid life crises. Years go buy and we begin to age. Seeing the reaper everytime we gaze upon a clock, we reach to complete our "Bucket Lists" to make death a bit more exeptable. As time grows short, we reach our limit and, sadly, perish.
When I tried looking at things at a more personal level and after reading some of the comments already posted here, I have come to realize that while the destination is the same, the paths constantly diverge. After the "goo goo ga ga" days and several stages of childhood, boys and girls show the difference of how they see the world in their teen years. Attitude and Behavior, Goals, and Mental Strength are just some of the differences between men and women.
*For the following, please understand that Im only using people that I know and see OUTSIDE of AP classes. We are "somewhat" different from the rest of the students in this school.*
Beginning with Attitude and Behavior, Im going to have to say that while both genders have their mood swings and "Mondays" (Everyone hates Mondays), I find girls to have the most problems with attitude and behavior. I dont know why, and I probably won't understand at any point in my future, but girls are becoming increasingly aggressive. I see guys many times just laughing off offensive gestures or just returning them with zippy one-liners. For most guys (The ones that don't get into gang wars after school), an arguement is just a fun excuse to rack their brain. Girls, however, are not afraid of showing their "Mrs. Hyde". Whenver, and quite often, I find what some like to call the "Death Stare" whenever I say something wrong or out of place to a female. And if the problem deteriorates, I just find them screaming the hell out of me.
Continueing right along, our next topic is goals. Quite frankly, I believe that guys and girls are pretty equal in terms of goal setting and then achieving those goals. Exculding the sad sacks who just don't care or have mommies and daddies that are willing to guide them through their whole life, both sides take what they want. However, with the constant complaints of women not being in the same positions of men and other stuff like that, I have to conclude that women stop short. Don't flame me because, this is not something that I have experienced or have seen many times. But, if women are feeling subsided, then men must be doing something that propells them forward, while women stop short and take what they can get. But I don't know, if anyone bothers to read this, I would love to hear your opinions on this topic alone.
Coming down to our last point, we see Mental Strength. Don't confuse this with intelligence. By mental strenght I basically mean the ability to keep your "cool." Im sorry, but I have to give the victory to the guys again. I don't know what it is about us but we can look in to the eyes of our opposition and take the impact head on. Some girls on the other hand, can not. I saw this manily with the AP test last year. A few girls that I know where frantic about the difficulty of the classes, not to mention the AP test. Many let their emotions get the best of them as the difficulty increased.
Its not hard to figure out that guys most certainly seem to have the easier life. We have the characteristics that make life more tolerable. Im glad, though, that a good number of girls ( especially the AP ones) do not fall into the categories that Ive established. This shows that they can truly think for themselves and are the only ones capable of taking women to higher positions.
To the last question, I just have to give a flat out NO. Quite frankly, I always hear about how a girl's life is tougher than a guys, and I never doubted it for a second as far as I can remember. Making my life tougher for even a day is going to make me very, very unhappy.
Hey Alice, let me start out by saying, great job. When Mrs. Bunje said she wouldn't censor it, you really took advantage of that to speak your opinion. Now I just want to rebuttle a few things you said, starting with....
Women are more cynical? I dont think so, at least not in the dream-achieving portion. To manipulate, a person has to cast down their emotions and morals. When you manipulate, you do actually harm a person, based upon the manipulation. Quite frankly, I don't know too many women who can just kill their soul at a spurs moment. If there really were many women who could do that, we would have more of them in government, and probably would have already had a woman president.
I understand where you are heading with Souja Boy and Lollipop, but I think you are blaming the guys too much by only using these songs. There are women who actually put down their own kind. A few examples would be "My Humps" by Fergie I think, or some other chick, "Barbie Girl" by Aqua, definately not very promising, and Katy Perry's new song, which became a best hit despite the fact that is sucks something awful are all examples of women following the steryotype given to them since God knows when. Same with the half naked girls. They are the ones who try out for those positions, so they willingly "sell" their bodies.
The only other iffy part for me is you talking about Janie from "TEWWG". I can see how she is totally independent and I don't blame her for that, because throughout most of the book she needed to be. But the book itself doesn't seem to make independence sound like such a great thing to have since in the end she ended up losing her love, which is what all that independence was used to gain.
Everything else you said was great, you have a strong opinion and you back it up pretty well.
To Matty W:
*laughs* You compared girls to chimps and guys to gorillas. I really liked your comment. It made me smile a lot. Plus I guess you're right. Overall, each gender has their own strengths and weaknesses. Plus your answer to the last question was hilarious.
"I don’t think I’d want to switch genders. While, it would be enlightening and a little creepy, I’m fine just they way I am. (my favorite part) Ok, well, maybe for a day. Just so I could walk in someone else’s shoes."
I think you should've used a dash in that area though. A good use of syntax, you know?
Now for Sergei's:
You have a unique way of looking at things. It's a nice way of thinking and I suppose I agree but hey!!! I know you said that AP students are "somewhat" different from people and you used people you know outside of the AP courses, but Mondays are the days I'm usually hyper!!! Don't you remember? Ahem, that aside, I loved how you outright refused to change genders! *laughs* That's the Sergei I know!
"To the last question, I just have to give a flat out NO. Quite frankly, I always hear about how a girl's life is tougher than a guys, and I never doubted it for a second as far as I can remember. Making my life tougher for even a day is going to make me very, very unhappy."
That was hilarious! But hey, I'm not disagreeing. Though, I'm not too sure that our lives are that much harder... I think we just work too hard is all.
Good comments both!
And, Sergei, I guess manipulate is too strong of a verb. I was just on a roll. *laughs* I don't really want to sound like girls sell their souls for their dreams. Thanks for pointing that out!
You're also right about the songs and music videos, but it's just a bit depressing is all. Girls are under so much pressure because of the media. It's sickening how girls actually like looking sleazy nowadays... it's scary to even think about it.
As for "TEWWG", I guess I understand what you coming to. However, I think you were looking at different parts of the story then what I was trying to refer to. I was actually referring to certain parts of the story like the first chapter where she leaves her hair down and the ladies criticize her for doing it. She does what she wants though.
Anyways, have a good night!
For the past year, gender roles have been front row stage in our society. With Hillary Clinton, being the first actual female contender as president, and now Sarah Palin who could be the first woman vice president, the women are stepping up. I have so many thoughts on this topic that I can’t seem to get everything out in a way that makes sense. Let me start off that I think it is disgusting that America was throwing around the question “Are we ready for a woman president?” Seriously? I am a total Hillary Clinton supporter, just for the fact that I feel like I can relate to her. So last year, I ran for class president, as many of you know, and lost. And it felt like a total slap in the face. But when I was running, I was watching what Hillary was doing, and could look at her for the “emotional support.” She was losing states, and I was losing supporters. She was the underdog, I was the underdog. She wanted change, I wanted change. She put her heart and soul into the race, and so did I. But the fact that no one thought that either of us could win was the worst. No one thought that Hillary could win, based on the fact that she was a woman. She was hard-headed, and knew how to get what she wanted. You look at her resume, and her personality, and I can’t wrap my finger around why people think she wouldn’t make a great president. But the fact that she was a woman, made everyone rethink their votes. Don’t get me wrong, I think Obama could make a great president, but I think Hillary would have made a better one. (Please, I don’t want the millions of “Hillary Sucks” comments, this is just my opinion.) But when we compare how the reporters treated Clinton, and now Palin, it’s ridiculous. Clinton was called names that made her seem so horrible, and made her seem like the ugliest person alive. Palin on the other hand has to deal with the sexual side of the spectrum. God forbid we have a female vice president that is attractive. But my point is that men running for president aren’t put under this much scrutiny. So that is my rant on one example how women are treated differently than men!
The way that men and women experience the world is, to me, very different. I know I am using the stereotypical girls when I say this, but women try to make sure that they impress everyone that they see. Even from an early age, this is apparent. When you are little girls, you try to put on shows, and make sure that everyone sees you. I know that I am guilty of that, because every night after dinner, I would stand on the chair and sing, just so I could have my family’s attention for two more minutes. Even when you get to middle school, little girls want to impress their teachers, and then high school comes, and girls try to impress the boys. And I don’t think many girls can disagree that they have, at least once, tried to impress a guy. But guys on the other hand, I don’t think that they care as much at what other people think. They are the little boys rolling in the mud, and the boys in kindergarden that insist that girls have cooties. And in high school, I feel that they don’t really try to impress their friends or peers. A am sure there are those times when the guys pine over their dream girl, but to me, it seems like other than that, they don’t have that “I have to look good for so and so” attitude. I think both genders act the way they do because of the people they hang around. Girls are mean. I know firsthand, they will rip you apart until you feel like you no longer want to live. So girls have that mentality that they have to impress all that they see. Guys aren’t mentally mean the way girls are. If guys are mad at one another, it seems like they have two choices, keep it in, or fight them. Girls will talk crap on the other girl until all their anger is let out. Although I may be a little biased, I think girls are a little more aggressive to get what they want. If they want that shirt/grade/position/boy, they will do anything it takes to get it. With boys, I feel like they will take anything that they get, and cope with it. Ah, coping, that brings up another difference! Women are emotional. We cry, even for the stupidest things. When we are angry/sad/happy, we cry. Boys have that “gotta be tough” attitude. And even from that book, The Day I Saw My Dad Cry, we see how rare it is that men show emotion.
I think that men have it easier. (This paragraph will be extremely biased. ) Let’s start off by going through the challenges that women face. First off, every month, we go through extreme pain, extreme moodiness, and extreme cravings. And I do feel bad for my brother and dad who have to deal with four girls, because they get a good dose of all of that. We simply can’t wake up in the morning and go to school. There is the hair/makeup/deciding what to wear challenge. We will always get hired less often, and paid less. It’s a fact. We will most likely be looked at as the underdog when compared to men. When we get married, the topic of being a stay-at-home mom runs through our head. Those are just a few of the extensive list of the difficulties that women face. Men are lucky. They wake up, take a shower, and go to school. And let’s face it; what boys wear to school isn’t that important. They will be offered the better jobs, and sadly, they are more athletically gifted. (I hated typing that.)To me, it seems that everything comes easier for guys.
I would love to trade places with a guy! To be able to see what goes through their mind in one day would be life changing. It would be amazing to be able to see how they look at life, they way they see people, and what they have to go through. I would love to see what they think of their peers, even what they think me. Don’t you ever wonder what people are thinking when they are talking to you, what they are judging you on? Trading places with a guy would allow me to rethink how I judge them, and it could very well change my outlook on a man’s life.
I love this topic.
“The world is not fair.” I am sure you’ve heard this saying by your parent’s at least once while you complain about something like not wanting to do chores, getting your new cell phone stolen, or having a cop give you a hard time because you’re a young driver. Life isn’t fair and neither are the different standards that face men and women live by every day. In reality, both parties are discriminated against and judged in some way. And in addition to their sex, individual character traits come into play as well. In this day and age, gender is very rarely the determining factor in the decision to choose him or her for the job. With this being said, there is such a thing as a double standard. The most popular being: males can go out and do whatever they want at an earlier age because they can’t get ‘knocked up’ like females can. And a female can’t walk across campus alone at night because a serial killer could pop out of a bush and stab her to death. But as stated previously, the decision also depends on the individual.
With that being said I also think that people bring the opinions on themselves. Women would not be seen as the ‘fragile flower’ or ‘damsel in distress’ if somewhere along the line we actually acted in those ways! (Giving people a reason to say somethin’!) Many girls, in Oakcrest for example, will purposely make a fool out of themselves by dropping their books in front of a cute boy to sway their eyeballs to them. Girls like that are the reason why Jon thinks we get expensive clothes from our parents and never pay on dates. Don’t get me wrong, guys do it too! According to history, males are dominant and strong. They overcome obstacles that no one else can. They are the protectors and defenders of what they love the most. Now you tell me that every man in this world can do something you can’t, or all of them don’t cry more than you do. It all depends on the individuals and I don’t think you can really generalize in this decade.
My only experience with this topic is a comparison. I think this is a lot like being the first child. Everything is more difficult for the eldest child because your parents haven’t learned the perfect tactics to raise a child of your age. Alas, when your younger siblings raise their years to your prior, (and sometimes sooner!) they have it so easy. Females have not always been on top like men have. Just when the women are allowed to stay out late, they run into their younger brother, (the males) at the same time they are. If I had to choose one, I’d say men had it easier. Merely due to their advances in history and the pure fact that they are viewed (sadly) as the inferior sex.
If given the chance, I would soo be a guy for a week. I would love to feel the bond between two men. For example, the saying “Bro’s before Ho’s!” Boys have so much meaningless fun while girls somewhat always have an alternative motive for everything whether it’s subconsciously or not. Again, this depends on the individuals but sometimes girls are too serious and just need to relax and be meaningless for a second. I would love to hear the flutter of male thoughts. It would be like that movie, where the guy can read the girl’s mind. (Anyone know the name? Mel Gibson I think was the guy?) It would be a life altering movement to feel the opposite sex in their everyday mindset. OH and I’d know exactly what to do to get any guy I want. Haha, it always comes down to boys for me.
PS- does this sound too jumpy?
I definitely agree… men and women see and experience the world differently. In Their Eyes Were Watching God, the opening passage explained the difference between men and women—
“Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board. For some they come in with the tide… never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men. Now, women forget all those things they don’t want to remember, and remember everything they don’t want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.”
I had to read this through a couple of times to grasp the meaning, but I finally concluded that the difference between men and women is that women know exactly what dreams to go after. Men can waste their whole lives chasing unobtainable dreams, and women quietly sit back and wait for the right moment. For example, Janie was married to Mayor Sparks for twenty-plus years of her life and was internally suffering. However, after enduring this pain for so long, after Mayor Sparks died, Janie found love with Tea Cup (oops, I mean Tea Cake… my bad, Vikkie ) and lived her life and found herself.
Men and women see the world differently because society forced them to. From the dawn of time to the present, women have generally been the caretakers and men the providers. These different roles, up until recently, have made women inferior to men. Men worked, and women obeyed. It wasn’t until the Nineteenth Amendment or feminist movements where women finally got their voices heard. The attitude that women had (to keep everything bottled up inside of them) made Hurston’s words all the more truthful. Women took full advantage of any opportunities that came along because of its rarity.
In the last fifty years, women’s efforts to achieve equality to men have been great. It has affected my generation of women because it created future job opportunities that were previously not offered to women. So, in my personal experience, I think the difference between men and women in society has lessened. However, high school boys and girls are still completely different because… that’s just how it is. Ha ha. For example, hobbies, study habits, and time management still haven’t changed between boys and girls.
Physically, I believe that men have it easier. I’m going to be blunt… Women get pregnant and have their periods. I don’t know how being pregnant feels, but I hear it is a full nine months of physical hell (way to go, Eve). As for the menstrual cycle… well, I’m not going into details, but it SUCKS. It includes mood swings you can’t control, headaches, backaches, lovely break-outs, sleepless nights, bloating, and insane cravings ALL at the same time. Oh, and did I mention it feels like you’ve been punched in your stomach really hard? It does. The difference between men’s physical pains and women’s is the fact that women can’t control it. Sure, I am aware of how difficult hard labor is and professional sports are, (my father did both) but men control the physical intensity of their bodies. On a side note, women also do both of those things.
Mentally and socially, I think that men have it easier as well. Most of men (again, writing about the majority) don’t care about social situations and have a “whateva, I do what I want” attitude. I admire this because frankly, I’m the same way. I hate unnecessary drama and shallow high school girls. However, women (especially high school girls) trouble themselves about really stupid things, like “who is going out with who” or “OH EM GEE! Pink is the new black” and whatnot. (I’m sorry if I offended anyone, I know this doesn’t apply to some individuals.) There’s so much more to life than those trivial things.
I would definitely trade places for no more than a day as a boy. It would be interesting to experience a little different outlook on everyday life. For example, I would LOVE wearing whatever I want and get away with it. Also, I wouldn’t have an epic battle of great proportions with my hair in the morning. It would be interesting to know what boys do when they simply hang out with each other. I’m sure it is a completely different atmosphere than when guys hang around girls… no party manners or flirty attitudes. I’m guessing it would be a lot of grunting, video-gaming, and “dude”s. Which I’m not opposed to. Especially if the video game includes Super Smash Brothers or any kind of Mario brothers game. Wow, I’m basically a guy. Ha ha.
In response to Vee-vee head/Vickstar:
First of all, you were not jumpy... I understood exactly what you were saying. Second of all, I love the points you made when you want to trade places with a guy. You said: "Boys have so much meaningless fun while girls somewhat always have an alternative motive for everything whether it’s subconsciously or not."
I said something seimilar in my response... guys are so much more SIMPLE. Hanging out is literally hanging out. There's no gossiping, no trash-talking, etc. etc. I used to hang out with my brother and his friends growing up in my old neighborhood. It was great. We rode our bikes, played man hunt for hours, played Pokemon (good times) and had FUN. Dumb girls have dumb catty attitudes underneath the surface.
P.S. Like you need any advantage over guys' minds. Little Miss Flirty Flirtster. ;)
Alice, I'm glad someone finds me funny. I will keep attempting to amuse you. As for the whole chimps and gorillas things i have no clue where that came from.
I really don’t think there’s any question as to whether men and women view the world differently. Of course they do. They’ve been trained to. But no two women or men think alike, either. Any statement one makes about how men (as a whole) and women (also as a whole) think differently is bound to offend someone. I think that the boys of our age bracket are in general louder, more dominating, and less interesting to talk to than the girls. But even as I type that, I can think of about two dozen exceptions. I know I do not think like any of the males I know. I can’t say if this is because they’re male, or because they weren’t brought up in the woods in the middle of nowhere with little social contact and a lot of books.
Training makes most of the difference. Even if we don’t think differently, we’re brought up to think we think differently. I have to say, in books I’ve read, I think like the male characters about as often as I think like the females. When there is a noticeable difference in how characters of different genders think, it’s either because of a difference in social training between the genders or an incompetent author who automatically assumes that women are soft or men are brutal.
Who has it easier? I’m not sure. I know that women are traditionally assumed to have the easier life, but I know it never reached me. And I haven’t encountered that “glass ceiling” yet, either. I can’t see my gender keeping me away from my fields of interest in this day and age; music, journalism, and broadcasting are as open to women as to men. I am glad that I was born female, but mostly because I like my own appearance. If, in my job, I am promoted, it will be because I am more competent than any other employee. And if I am passed over for promotion, the other candidate had better be more competent, or else there will be hell to pay.
If by changing places you mean putting one a male body, but keeping my social standing and family, I can’t say I’d want to change. I am perfectly happy as I am. There are specific males that I wouldn’t mind changing places with, but not because of their gender. Usually it’s because they’re going to see something exciting, go somewhere interesting, or meet someone influential. This is based entirely on what experiences they’re going to have. I have similarly envied girls, who are going to do or see something I’ll never get near. And I would never change with another person’s life for more than a day or so. My own is too interesting. And if the other person were controlling my body in the meantime, I would definitely want to hurry back, before they did anything out of character.
Haha! This is a cool question. I was actually thinking about this the first time I read the opening paragraphs of the first chapter….
Even though we as a society we emphasize the differences between the opposite sexes, when it comes down to it both girls and guys experience the world the same way. Yes sometimes guys repress their feelings but as they say, “It’s the thought that counts!”. It might be a little helpful if they actually said SOMETHING but its not like girls don’t go through the same thing either. There are times when we BOTH don’t say what we want, in fear of what people will say. Experiences are different depending on the eye of the beholder. It has nothing to do with what sex you are. Depending on their morals, beliefs, and virtues they have set for themselves an experience like looking at a sunset can be felt as a new beginning or doomsday.
Keep this in mind! I AM NOT RECCOMENDING THIS FOR ANY OF YOU NOW AT LEAST! But anyways, here it goes the experience of becoming a parent changes the way both men and women view the world. I’ve seen it in my extended family, heard about it from acquaintances, and read about the experience in magazines. It’s just a topic that’s always interested me. OKAY! After being a father or a mother both sexes seem to have found a deeper meaning in life, something different from the egotistical and materialistic goals they had as a teenager. For example, putting another life before one’s self.
I don’t think either of us has it “easier”. We both have experiences where we wish we could just get away but we just have to deal with them. Women have to go through labor if they wish to be mothers. Which I’ve heard hurts like Hell. Aren’t I looking forward to that! Guys, Uhhhh well they generally do get a lot more physically hurt then girls. Maybe it’s because they are proving that they are “men” or maybe it’s just that’s just their way to express themselves? I really don’t know though. Both of us have rules that society has set for us as opposite sexes but that doesn’t mean we can’t break them. For example, just because someone is gay doesn’t make him any less of a male. Change is good and we need to accept it.
Ewwwwww! Ms. Bungie! Ewwwwww! Sorry I just had to get that out. I wouldn’t trade my life with any king! I love being a girl! There are times like “girl things” that I wish I could trade places just for a couple of days but I love my life as is. I don’t want to be anything I’m not. I hate to bring religion into this but God made me a girl so why would I want to change that?
Tootles =P
Men and women each fall into specific stereotypes, making it harder for us to relate to each other. A guy cheerleader? Now that's just wrong. A woman wrestler? She must be butch. This way of thinking by no means is correct. It forces the two sexes to be categorized as either "masculine" or "fragile". If women don't show emotion, then they're rude because of their lack of proper manners. If men show emotion, then they're pathetic because of their lack of virility. This outlook greatly affects the way each sex experiences the world. It pressures men to want power and has people thinking women should sit back and do all the house work. I'm not saying this is how it always is. This day and age, women are fighting for equality, power, and high-quality jobs, while men are staying home to care for the children. This is slowly becoming acceptable. But still today, most men believe women sports are jokes, that we’re not nearly as “strong”, not nearly as capable, that they can do it all so much better. Just the same in politics, women shouldn’t have power because we’re too “emotional”, but if women don’t show emotions then they’re cold-hearted bi--, well, you know.
As for who has it easier? It all depends on the way you look at it. In politics, men obviously have it easier. Throughout history men have been the dominant sex, holding the most power, attaining the highest ranking and knowledge. But now that women are stepping up their game, it’s almost as if men are jealous now that women want some of that glory, because we’ve already accomplished so much in the little time we’ve been able to make a difference. Men have seemed to be extremely defensive of their authority, degrading women to make us feel unworthy. Of course not all men are like this, and this “sexism” even occurs in women towards men. Women think men should do all the “dirty work”. We think that men are stubborn, inconsiderate bastards. But then there comes the many advantages of being a woman: dating, security, and comfort. If a woman has a nice physical appearance, it’s almost certain that guys will be attracted to her. Men have to gain the courage to ask women out, being tormented with thoughts of rejection. But of course women go through the same problems of dating. Women may be able to flaunt themselves to attract or entertain men, but this is only for the physically blessed. Coming from someone who does not have such an advantage in that area, many women are stuck in the same situation as men with the curse of having to actually try to get noticed. Everyone hates being told “it’s what’s on the inside that counts,” but that’s the complete truth. In the area of security, women have it much easier. We have our boyfriends, brothers, fathers, and/or husbands protecting us from whatever danger we may face in the world. This is because most men think of us as “damsels in distress”. But honestly, women don’t care about that. We’d much rather do our own thing, fight our own battles, be individuals. If a woman were to stick up for her boyfriend in a fight, then LORD will all hell break loose, for that man will be perpetually tortured. But a man defending his girlfriend in a fight is the “right thing to do”. What a joke. As for comfort, women have the benefit of things such as purses, clothing and shoes. Now, all the girls in here think about how much crap you have in your purses. Now think about shoving ALL of that into your pocket. Yeah, that’s not happening. Those of you who are capable, or think you’re capable, of wearing all those skimpy short shorts, tiny dresses, tank tops, flip flops, the list goes on. As hot as Oakcrest is, imagine not being able to wear such short shorts, sweating all day long.
Then there’s the social hierarchy that every one seems obsessed about. If men want to be at the top, they have to be masculine, athletic, a sweet-talker, attractive, or have a damn good personality. That’s pretty easy if you ask me, but I’m only a girl. If women want to be at the top, they need to be extremely social or good looking. I honestly can’t take a side on who has it easier. It’s too controversial, really doesn’t matter, and doesn’t faze me. I can go on listing the pros and cons of being male or female, but there are just way too many. No one has it easier all together, just in certain instances.
Would I trade places? Sure, why not. I always try to view the world with different perspectives, but that would truly be an experience. There’s nothing really specific I’d want to know, just maybe how intense the pressure is of having to be “manly”.
This blog reminds me of that old commercial with Michael Jordan and Mia Hamm competing to see who the better athlete was. “Anything you can do I can do better.” This is how our world works today. Both sexes fight to be the best at anything and everything, and, quite frankly, it’s pretty pathetic.
Jon, I can understand your argument. I didn’t view your post at all as being degrading or sexist. You simply stated your experiences and thoughts on the stereotypical girl, which most girls are like. As for the whole “guys have to pay for girls” thing, that’s just some stupid belief that people assume is vital to the world of dating. If you don’t have any money, oh well, no one cares. Split the bill, no one cares. If you want to be generous, pay for her, but still, no one cares. (At least that’s how I view it) And it’s perfectly acceptable for women to ask guys out, by the way.
Myra and Alice, I think you two may have just misinterpreted his overall perspective. This blog is obviously going to be extremely controversial, but I don’t think any one here is really out meaning to demean a certain sex. So it’s good that you were able to settle your differences with Schaeffer.
Molly, I love just loved your entire blog. From the comparison of your election to Hillary Clinton’s, to the dreadful “guys are more athletic than girls”, to trading places to figure out how a guy judges people. I know my views may be different than yours, but your argument was very motivating and meaningful.
I haven't even posted my blog yet, but I'm going to comment anyway. I just wanted to say that I was impressed with Leonor n.'s words when she said,
"God made me a girl so why would I want to change that?"
I'm wondering why that thought didn't come to me, and I'm jealous.lol
WELL SAID
I have no doubt in my mind that men and women experience the world differently. I don't feel as though I've had enough experience that I can write about, since I'm only 17.
I have different opinions and experiences than others probably because of my background and of the things that I have seen. To all those that don't know, I am from the republic of Georgia, which is a small country located right outside of Russia. I visit there every year, and am amazed at how different these two places are, especially when it comes to roles of women and men. In America, women push and strive to end up with a career, and more and more women are getting married at a later age. In Georgia, however, most people usually get married ages 17-22. If you are over the age of 25, and not married, your ship has sailed.My cousin was telling me about her class of 18 kids, who are our age. she said 12 of them were already married. Those girls are happy to get married and could care less about having a career, because they depend on their 17 year old husbands to support them. SInce I live in America, as I was listening to her, I found this to be a great shock. Turns out these girls get married, have a kid, and stay at home and cook for their husbands,(from scratch of course since there's no such thing as frozen food or prepared foods over there). I don't know what my point was in saying all of this but I thought It'd be interesting to compare womens roles in America to those in a small European country like Georgia. I can't imagine an American girl leading that lifestyle, which just goes to show the advance in civilization and the achievement of the Americans. So being from Georgia, and having lived there for years, I notice that I have the mentality of a Georgian. Although I think it's great that women in America are pushing and striving for what they want, I can't help but be skeptical of the fact that a woman could be president. I'm sure that women are capable of leading a country, but I just don't think they should. I'm not sure I'd feel confident if a woman was running the country. ( I'm aware that by saying this, I just angered a whole bunch of girls and am going to get negative feedback, but i assure you i am no sexist.lol.i just don't have too much thought on this topic, and am stating my opinion.)
I don't think either gender has it tougher than the other. Both genders face difficulties, it just depends on what the issue is. When it comes to appearance, guys definitely have it easier. I wish I could just roll out of bed, 10 minutes before my bus arrives, throw on a t-shirt and some jeans and be ready. but when the whole dating issue comes up, girls do have it easier. They don't have to do much, other than be themselves. The guy has to work up the courage to ask her out, knowing there's a chance she'll say no and he'll be left embarrassed. A woman can also glide through life without doing any work whatsoever (if she chooses to and I'm not saying she should) she can marry a guy and from then on its his job to bring in the money. A guy can, however, walk alone in the dark, anywhere he wishes and not be scared of being attacked or raped. I don't know how many times I've wished I was a guy, when I was alone walking at night somewhere and was scared. Both males and females have difficult challenges, but if you know how to live your life and do what makes you happy and face those difficulties, then you'll be okay I guess.
About trading places, I would Definitely change places with a guy, ANYTIME, and not for just a little while, but permanently. I have thought about this so many times before. I would love to trade places with a guy, I'd love to be a guy, and be able to get ready to go out in 5 minutes, and not worry about how my hair looks, or if my clothes make me look fat.:)I would want to know what actually goes through a guy's mind sometimes, and why they act foolish and their manners fly out the window when they are around their friends, or what they're thinking when they hurt their girlfriends and not feel bad, or why they think juggling a few girls makes them look good.
I'm not too confident in my blog for this week , since I don't have too much thought on this topic. Men and women are different in many ways, but also similar in many others.
Okay, I really liked everyone's blog so far! You guys kick booty! I know I keep commenting, but I do what I want so I'm going to comment again.
To Matt:
Thanks! You are funny just the way you are, so don't kill yourself trying to amuse me! ^_^ You're cool!
To Maegan:
Thanks for agreeing. I really liked your comment though. It really is sick how the people who are advocating women's rights are also a bit on the sleazy side. I wouldn't have said the whole carbon copies thing in a better way. You destroyed that so wonderfully that I feel like you're my idol now. I just look up to you now. Ahem, that aside, did Mike Galli actually say that?!?! That's just disrespectful...
To Molly:
Whoa, girl! You tell it like it is! I am a Hilary supporter all the way! That, and I thought for sure that you would win the school election! It was a slap in the face when I heard you lost!!! That's just unfair! Is this a popularity contest or what? But anyways, I thought that you had some really good points in your comment such as your explanations about who has it easier and what you said about the unfortunate subject that guys are more athletic. I can tell why you would like this blog.
To Leonor:
Your comment was just want I needed to brighten up my day! It was fun and I really love the part where you said "Ewwwww! Ms. Bunje! Ewwww!" It was really nice and your views on "yo' womanhood" owns! Peace!
To Jennifer:
Yeah, I did get a bit out there didn't I? But anyways, I really liked your way of explaining who had it easier. You gave us different scenarios and backed it up with what is usually going on in life. I liked when you explained the fact that, when women don't show emotions, they are considered cold-hearted female dogs! It's true too. I really liked your comment, it was really insightful!
To Tamari:
Wow. I loved the compare and contrast thing you had going on between the Georgian women and American women. Plus, I totally agree about walking alone outside in the dark. It scares me too because my parents are always telling me about how I could be kidnapped, raped and killed if I'm alone outside. *shivers* You're right, men and women are different and similiar in various ways. I liked your comment and I think you put a lot of thought into it.
Well, that's my input for tonight! Peace out, my homies!
There is absolutely no question in my mind that men and women see the world differently. To a further extent, I don't think that there are any two people whose views of the world are exactly the same. But the difference between a mans outlook and a womans outlook varies greatly from that of two different men or two different women. Since the very beginning of civilization, females have always been counted on to basically clean, cook, and watch after children while their male counterparts were off hunting or proving that they were the strongest, fastest, or smartest person in their respective group. This general masculine need to prove their superiority over their fellow men still exists today. Males are constantly comparing themselves to each other to prove who is better, whether it is an argument over athletic ability or intelligence. I'm sure this is somewhat true between women as well, but certainly not displayed on the level and men, who are constantly boasting about their individual acclompishments. Just turn on a football game, a radio station, or even just walk through the halls of Oakcrest and you will undoubtedly see or hear at least a few guys acting as if they had just discovered the cure for cancer. In my personal experience, men constantly feel the need to battle for personal recognition and material things. They wnat to be known, want to make more money than the next person, have a bigger house, a nicer car, more "things" that they believe proves their dominance over their peers. Now, some (or most) women may feel the same way, but it is not nearly in such a blatant manner as men.
As for who has it easier, that is a difficult question to answer, not having the same experience or perspective as a woman. Both genders face their own unique set of challenges and obstacles. In our current day and age, it is much harder for a woman to obtain a high-ranking position in their profession than it is for a man. Out of the top five hundred companies in America, only ten of those companies are run by women. That's only two percent, but that number is up from the mere three women who ran a Fortune 500 Company in 2000. The most well-known woman in America right now, Sarah Palin, is extremely popular because only once has their ever been another woman running for Vice President of the United States. This vast discrepancy between the number of men and women in politics and company management proves that it is very difficult for women to ascend up the professional ladder. In general, everyone (male or female) has difficult problems and circumcstances that could affect what they do with their lives, but it is the people who don't make excuses, who persevere despite these obstacles they encounter, that make a difference and end up becoming successful. Life is all about how you take advantage of the situations presented to you and making the best out of them. About the last question, I don't think I would want to trade places with a girl. A lot of girls just always seem stressed out over little things. I would much rather just sit back and enjoy the day as much as I can, and not worry about anything.
In response to JONny queSt: I can definitely understand where you're coming from in your first post, but maybe you were being a liiiittle stereotypical. But you did a nice job of redeeming yourself on your second post after getting blasted by Myra and Alice. Anyway, I definitely agree with you on the point that the things you go through in life have a direct impact on your experiences. I think everyone is a product of their environment. If you spent your entire childhood raised by nuns in a convent, I'm guessing you might be a little religious. If you were brought up in a ghetto by crack dealers and thugs, you are not very likely to grow up to become chief of police. But hey, anything's possible.
MOLLY GONDOLF!
Once again pretty much everything you say I agree with. The whole election experience was tought for us to handle. We know we would work extremly hard at any position and it's hard to grasp the fact that others don't believe you will.
Now the 'MEN' factor. So they deffinetly have it easier (bias agreement), we have to deal with so much physical and emotional pain I sometimes can't even believe I'm not thrown in a mental institute. Still to support the other side, I know that boys have feeling and sentimental emotions, but the pressures from society arent as great as they are on women.
To finalize the experineces women have in life, girls are MEAN! We really will do anything to get what we want, and I've seen and heard of more girls fighting, shunning their friendships over ridiculous things, and causing serious depression to others than I have with men. High school can be a complete mess inside a women or even a man's mind. But sometimes you need to cover up the devilish thoughts on the inside and appear to others that you are living your life to the best and the fullest. ( I know cliche, sorry)
All throughout freshman year in Honors World History, I remember learning repeatedly that men were and are the dominant sex in every civilization. Then experiencing AP Government, it had to be one of our first couple of chapters that placed an emphasis on Caucasian males as leaders. Even today, races and genders are hurdling over obstacles to become equal in everyone’s eyes. The way you experience the world depends on how you grew up, your perspectives, your environment, and outside influences. I’d like to think men and women experience the world the same, however that may not be the case. A family member always persistently says, “ Time does not change, people change”. Society influences everything we do, including our thoughts and perceptions of people. It’s always been that boys are supposed to get their hands dirty and girls are supposed to be clean and just watch. Boys are aggressive. Girls are gentle. Boys are tough. Girls are emotional. The list of stereotypical differences can be written on a never-ending piece of paper. Finally, I think those molds are being broken. However what has been the ‘norm’ for so long, it’s difficult to channel your thoughts to a different pattern. This past weekend, my cousin came over who is in eighth grade and doesn’t like sports. I gave him a book to read, and he read the whole book in just an hour or so. My grandfather didn’t praise him but only criticized him of how he should be outside playing volleyball or soccer. That completely irked me.
Girls seem to have the pressure of presenting themselves in a beautiful, creature like way. However, I’m personally friends with a lot more guys than I am with girls. Guys feel the pressure, too. They always are competing. My nephew who is in first grade recently shaved a piece of his hair off accidentally. He cried in tears because he literally said that he was ugly and everyone would laugh. When his father shaved his head, my nephew was still upset. What’s also funny is that he wears my high-heeled shoes from time to time, which creates anger in his father. Differences in childhood are obvious and noticeable. I know for a fact that gender plays a role in getting hired at a job. At my old job, the general manager would hire an attractive, young woman over any man. What has been always degrading that my family members would tell me when I’d stress over school is “Don’t worry your pretty little head, you can always fall back on your looks to get somewhere or marry a rich man”. I’d laugh it off, but I don’t appreciate that comment. Look at Paris Hilton; she seems to be a good example of what Schaeffer is explaining in his blog. The only reason people really know her name is because of her extra curricular activities that got her exploited. Does everyone forget that? It’s sad that little girls look up to her and women that may manipulate, cheat, and seduce to get somewhere in their life. Men can equally be seductive and manipulative, though. It’s just not as common. The movie Cruel Intentions illustrates this point.
For the longest time I always though society has made women so insecure about themselves and magazines like vogue force women who are ordinary people to think their not extraordinary. However, my view has changed within this past year. No one has it easy living their life. Everyone experiences their own hardships that they have to overcome. Yes, women have had it hard when they were looked upon as only housewives. At some point, you have to look further than the past and focus on the present. If life were so easy, no one would learn anything. I’d love to trade places with a boy. I’d love to not have to wake up an hour and half before my bus stop. Instead if I were a boy, I’d wake up like maybe twenty minutes before the bus stop. I’d finally figure out why guys ‘clap up’ and learn the thought process of a boy. I’d like to think guys are just as analytical as women usually tend to be.
Men and women were put on this Earth together and yet, these two sexes couldn’t be anymore different. Men and women experience life differently because we grow up being taught by society to do so. Men are driven to behave in one way and women in another. It’s not normal for a man to wear makeup. Men don’t wear skirts and dresses. In reality, they could! They’ve just been told not to. Sure, men and women should be created equally, but they certainly don’t behave equally.
In a general sense (this being very general), men are considered to be very “macho.” They tend not to show their sensitivity as much as they show their muscles. Women, on the hand, tend to be very sensitive and will not have a problem showing their emotions through tears, tantrums, etc. Now, this obviously doesn’t apply to every man and woman. And some of you (my fellow peers) are probably exceptions to these generalizations. However, I am just trying to explain that men and women do behave differently and society has come to accept this behavior as the norm. Even in movies and books, there is usually a prince in shining armor saving a pretty damsel in distress. This makes for a good storyline, but stops us from living the real world. Girls and sometimes even guys will constantly use these movies to compare real people in everyday life to the characters on TV. Sure, I would love to have the relationship Alli and Noah did in the Notebook or the passion between Rose and Jack in the Titanic, but in reality my relationships aren’t going to happen that way. Women tend to live in these fantasies, while men live in the present.
Not only do I think that men and women behave differently, but I feel both genders think in their own way as well. I know women are so much more complicated than boys are. Men generally tend to speak their minds and say what they mean to say. No hidden agendas. Women, on the other hand, are another story. Saying “I’m okay” could have so many different meanings. It could mean “I’m not okay”, “I’m okay but I want to talk to you,” “you did something wrong so work it out with me,” or even “I’m not okay but I wont tell you until the fifth time you ask me if I’m okay.” Most of the times, girls don’t even realize that they’re doing this until later. These subconscious actions also include gossiping. The gossip eventually leads to drama and the drama eventually leads to most girls hating each other. Most of the time, women don’t realize that they do this. It just that when women have the chance to express how they feel (there’s that word again), they get so caught up that they start gossiping. Men are lucky. Drama usually doesn’t follow them. Quite frankly, I’m jealous.
With no doubt in my mind, I know men have it easier. I feel as if men don’t have to try as hard. I’m not saying it’s a piece of cake, guys. Sure, you have to be the ones to ask us out and make the first move and eventually propose, but the thing is boys get to pick who they want to ask out while girls have to wait to be picked. Why do we wait? Who knows? This process has become so normal and routine to most of us that it feels as if it was coded into our DNA. Not only that, but I feel like men don’t have to worry about what they look like. Part of that is due to the fact that men probably care less about what people think of them. The other part has to do with the fact that a man can be unattractive and still be perfectly happy. With women, they are constantly critiquing themselves trying to be the prettiest, the smartest, and the best. A boy will never change himself because he doesn’t like the way he looks or because he feels other people are judging him, but a girl will. This explains why plastic surgery exists and why women spend so much money on makeup and nice clothes.
If I could, yes, I would trade places with the opposite sex, but just for a short period of time. Girls are confusing and much much more complicated, but that doesn’t mean boys don’t perplex me as well. I want to know basically everything. I want to know their views on life and relationships. I want to know why they do the things they do or say the things they say. I want to know what they consider good qualities in a girl or honorable qualities in guy. Are there “guy codes” like there are girl codes? Do guys really think about sex every 7 seconds? I don’t know, but if I knew what it was like to be the opposite sex, I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. Plus, I would probably feel more comfortable and at ease knowing exactly what men do think about. Not to mention, it would probably help me great deal in future relationships.
However, overall, the mystery between sexes keeps us moving forward. And the differences between each gender balances one another out. It gets a little rocky at time and women always seem to get the short end of the stick, but that’s life. We just have to deal with it.
To Tamari:
"If you are over the age of 25, and not married, your ship has sailed.My cousin was telling me about her class of 18 kids, who are our age. she said 12 of them were already married. Those girls are happy to get married and could care less about having a career, because they depend on their 17 year old husbands to support them."
Wow that is a really different outlook than here. Honestly, I don't blame them. If I could marry someone who I completely loved and know I had stability financially and emotionally, I would. Many people stride for stable lives. If a man you love gives you a life you want, why not take it? I also loved the whole bus comment. I'd love to wake up ten minutes before and not really have to do much sprucing up on the appearance. Being a girl is fun for that aspect but only sometimes. Other times, it just gets annoying. I also agree on wanting to get into the whole guy mentality. For one day, it be neat to change places or even just to read minds. Your blog offered a lot if insight of who you are.
In response to:
Molly- You have another fan! :) Everything you said was so true. My favorite part was when you wrote about how girls behave. “Girls are mean. I know firsthand, they will rip you apart until you feel like you no longer want to live. So girls have that mentality that they have to impress all that they see.” Girls can be really mean and it makes it really hard to go through school and to continue on with everyday. So to avoid feeling sad and miserable, girls do their best to keep themselves out of those situations. And we’ve all been there, I’ve been there and it’s hard. It’s hard to get over what other people say to you and do to you. It’s hard to be strong. But as far as I can see, you did it!
Maegan- You make me smile everyday with your insights and view on the world. I can feel your passion as I was reading your blog. Some girls really just give women their bad rep. These “carbon copies” you speak of disappoint me as well. Is intelligence and self respect not important anymore? This is why certain men treat women so poorly. It’s because we give them the idea that they can. We give them the opportunity to do so.
With that I would like to end with my one of my favorite quotes. I figured it applied here:
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
- E.E.Cummings
Scientifically, genetically, how ever you want to put it, men and women are notably different. It is said that although there is no gender differences in general intelligence, men and women both have features that they are each stronger at. This genetic make up can affect the way one behaves, both male and female. Does this dictate the way they experience the world? Not necessarily, in my opinion. But it does make a significant impact.
In my experience, I believe this to be rather true. Not necessarily because one is a “boy” or “girl,” but because of the stereotype we have set for each one. Yes, because of nature and all that comes with it, males and females are different in the way they are built, along with other fundamentals. But, this whole male macho-ness or overly emotional female nonsense is only an issue because we made it one. Every single person on this planet, if under the same circumstance, will experience an instance the exact same way. The only difference, gender seeming to be the cause, is the way a person reacts to what has happened.
Our genetic make up, which seems to be the foundation of all this trouble, holds the information that makes us who we are. It is the blueprint to the way we act, despite what has been learned since out of the womb. Girls are typically more emotional than guys, or at least portray it more often. On the other hand, guys seem to be more aggressive than girls, but again, this is not always true. Because of the slight differences in our build, our reactions to each experience are what seem to be different among the sexes.
However, despite the scientific explanations for how males and females act, the condition as to which they are in also complicates this answer. Not all men feel the need to be above women (or other less superior men for that matter), nor do all wish to be seen as heartless human beings who show no emotion. Every person, regardless of gender, is different in the way they do things because of how they have learned to respond to different situations.
In movies, magazines and music, there is much evidence that supports that girls and boys are different in the way they view numerous things. Most of these resources create stereotypes of the bubble-headed girls and overly aggressive men which influence the way we think and/or act. Although we should be smarter now and realize that not everything we see on TV is the right thing to do, there are still those girls that look and act like they just walked out of The Hills. I’m not putting down anyone, but honestly, the drama is seriously not needed. Try being your own person too! But, as with most things, there are always exceptions (thank goodness). This isn’t a general summary making all girls seem petty and annoying, but it is a flaw in many out there.
I believe males, with-out-a-doubt, have it easier. I’m trying my best not to use any bias in my answer because if I honestly believed girls had it easier, I’d definitely brag about it. To start, girls go through this horrible pain of being a female, which, as everyone knows, is in no way easy or fair. During this extremely unfortunate time, we are emotionally unstable. We often say and do things we don’t mean however, it is almost impossible to control it. Isn’t it just great when the big game is only an hour away and you feel as though your insides are being shoved out of you? Yeah, it’s amazing (sorry for the graphic details!). Not to mention that boys will always be stronger and built better than girls, athletically accelerating them. But along with the physical dilemmas, women have been seen as less inferior since the dawn of time. Whatever man said that women are incapable of intelligently voting, making decisions, and/or doing other tasks besides cleaning and cooking all day should get a huge punch in the face. Frankly, I believe women are better than men when doing such things, in some cases. Of course there are exceptions, such as the provocative and unflattering woman that dance “on the flo' to rappers flashing their grills and throwing money in the air.” (MOST AMAZING QUOTE I’VE EVER READ BY: MAEGAN REESE). The women in this category seem to give us all a bad name as well as cause us to lose respect from the public that we have worked so hard to achieve. I guess you could say that it may be our fault now, when we have the power to do things in society, that we are not making such great use of it. But, there are bright, classy and role-model worthy women out there that are trying their best to make a difference in this world, regardless of the constant troubles each one has to go through.
Trade places? Hmm… I’d say yes! Definitely not forever, but at least for a short period of time. I’d love to experience what it’s like to be a boy. Let’s start with waking up. I’d probably feel what it’s like to sleep on a school morning because I’d get up about 15 minutes before the bus comes. All boys have to do is get dressed/brush teeth (hopefully), possibly eat, and throw some water on that cowlick, how great is that! Next is school. I’d want to know how a boy’s brain works. What do they talk about with their friends? From what I’ve seen, most guys can make a joke out of anything which is good enough for me. I assume they’d mention girls once or twice, but they don’t seem to be on their mind as much as boys are on some of ours. How about afterschool? I’d enjoy knowing what it’s like to play a sport in a guy’s body. They all seem to have an extra boost compared to girls (so unfair!). Hopefully, it would be a learning experience overall. I can see myself appreciating what they go through; lifting massive weights, the pressure of being “manly” enough, and other difficulties that a girl may not face. However, I believe their pain and suffering still will not amount to what a female goes through.
As for my comment to Maegan Reese’s post:
I can honestly say that if I were to pick one person’s blog to read, it would be yours every time. The way you write is just amazing and keeps my full attention. Although I may not feel the same as you in every instance, I believe your statements are valid, acceptable arguments. As for this post, I was almost in tears when I read the second paragraph. “Every time I turn on the TV, I see skimpily clad girls gyrated on the "flo'" to some rapper flashing his grill and throwing his money in the air.” That sentence was incredible; I had to use it as a quote in my own post. Seriously though, I couldn’t have said it better. These women who degrade themselves like that are the reason why boys walk around saying, “WANNA HEAR A JOKE? WOMEN’S RIGHTS.” Your stand on that fact has my vote. Also, “we are our own worst enemy” was a great conclusion to your excellent tirade. Because of what just mentioned, the respect for women is dwindling, only because we (not us specifically, but a good percentage of females) are destroying what we worked so hard for. Great job Mae Ree, love you! =).
Hilly! : You are the cutest, and i love you haha! I was thinking about what boy i would need a male insight to capture and i thought of the most amazing of all. I don't think i need to type his name because you and i and every other girl in our school is dying for the moment he and his fairy tale, blonde headed, lovergirl break up. But, HE would be one I need help to obtain :p lol
I also agree with your blog where it says "However, high school boys and girls are still completely different because… that’s just how it is. Ha ha. For example, hobbies, study habits, and time management still haven’t changed between boys and girls."
A reoccuring trait that everyone knows about teenage boys is that they are and forever will be less mature than the girls of their same age. I think it plays a big role on the fact that we have it harder. It just reels back to one of my points, GIRLS CARE TOO MUCH, (not all of course) but the majority do. We are more mature and more liable to pound ourselves (and others) about our fluffy pillsbury dough boy-esque love handles or that freshamn with too little shirt and too much cleavage.
Girls try to impress eachother or exceed another girls' norm. And honestly, we make it hard for ourselves.
Toni : Your nephew sounds like a cutie! I do find it slightly sad that his father dislikes the whole heel thing though. It shows so much fright of something that shouldn't matter. I think a well rounded person should know what all types of people go through, and at that age, wearing high heels is his way of getting to know what a woman is like. Who cares, let the kid fall down a step and realize that heels are in fact for women and he doesn't want to participate in anything like that!
Leonor : I loved your comparison to parents. I agree that the time of dire change in men and women does happen with parenthood. In the words of Mr. Matlack "Everything you are doing now is preparing you to become a fit wife, husband, mother, or father." While listing his points on his finger tips (as always!) Parenthood is the ultimate life diminisher. Sorry to sound so gloomy but it is. The "Bundle of Joy" that you have just acquired will haunt you for the mandatory 18 years and then some beacause 'Once they're there, they'll never go away.' as my father has put it to me many times in many different variations of the meaning!
it's late, night night.
Bunje, do I wake you up with all my late night posts? I would feel awfully bad if i did! :p lol
In response to Tamari's comment:
WOOOOOOW! The thought of even being married in like 10 years creeps me out on a level you could not imagine! That is so cool that you come from Georgia. My parents are Mexican and Puerto Rican so I guess you could say im Mexirican? Anyways I totally agree on some of your views and I like your second to last paragraph when you said, "I would want to know what actually goes through a guy's mind sometimes" I think we all want to know what the opposite sex feels or thinks....
Thanx 4 the comment.. I actuallty made someone jealous that's a first! HaHa
Humans for the most part have lived in a male dominated society. I’m not going to deny that in any perspective.
Flashback to the era of the cavemen (I doubt any of you were alive back then, but anywho). A tribe of Neanderthals realizes that there is only enough mammoth-meat to feed their tribe for more two days at the most. We see the patriarch, Org, grab his wooden stick and run off into the wilderness with the other fellow men in a pathetic attempt to bash in the skull of a saber-tooth. Back in the cave, Orgette and the rest of the women stands guard and watches the little babies of the tribe.
Apparently (according to the mounds of load I learned in first grade), the men hunted, and the women stayed home, and this held true ever since the dawn of existence. This seems to be the common theme in everything I have read, heard, or seen. It has been a mold of civilizations both past and present.
Sorry ladies, but we are more physically able. Well, unless you’re one of those butch body builders with tree trunk arms. If so, you got other issues. ANYWAYS, this plays into what society has held onto to for the longest period; that men are stronger than women. We see it all the time. Women couldn’t own land, vote, and in some areas, be seen in public. Women couldn’t fight in wars. Women were incapable of doing hard labor. This oppression and ignorance built the way both sexes see things.
Perhaps it’s because of the oppression that I find women to be a bit more pessimistic and cynical then men. A guy will jump on the gun without any hesitation whatsoever, giving the idea at hand perhaps 5 seconds of thought. Girls will mull the consequences, consider every other possible branch of option, and take an extremely long time going over what could go wrong… and this almost always ends up in the moment slipping away. This maybe slightly off-topic, but I want to ask you ladies that. Why is that so? Live and Let Die, my friends.
Moving on, I’m not going to go on a tirade about who I think has it easy. Because quite frankly, neither of us do. You can turn the whole argument that women have a glass ceiling, have a harder time, and must work harder, and turn it completely around. Would Hilary Clinton and Sarah “Worst Candidate Ever” Palin really have all the fame if it wasn’t that they were women? Don’t tell me yes, because then you’re just being moronic. They would just be two ordinary people in the dull world of politics. So girls can turn this around and use it to their advantage in gaining footholds. Take this glass ceiling and use it as your glass floor. Take this low expectation people have of you and prove everyone wrong. More girls are going to college, and that’s a perfect example of what I mean. On the other hand, we men are thrust into society with barriers broken down. Does that make it easier for us? No. We still have to work just as hard as to you to get grades, find a decent person to love, and to think intelligently. We both have our strengths and advantages, and we both have our weaknesses and disadvantages. So this argument over who has it easier is absolutely pointless and trivial.
On a less serious note, I doubt I would make a good woman. Nyge and I had a discussion about this, and it seems that there appears to be a version of Man law , but for women, and I have no clue what those are. To all the ladies who think its easy being a dude, think again. None of you know the sacred laws of shotgun, urinal-skipping, or bacon cooking (and you never will either). I’ll never understand the concepts of gossip, mascara, and group trips to the bathrooms. My god, what is wrong with you people? Do you need moral support when you take a piss? Jeez. So once again, I’m happy to be a dude, and wouldn’t want it any other way. But please, stop the whole trite argument about who has it easier. Quite frankly, it’s annoying.
On a side note though, I’m glad you made us read Eyes Were Watching God , Bunje. I really enjoyed all the themes it conveyed, and gave me a lot to think about. Janie isn’t a role model to women only; she’s a figure of influence to men as well. She is a great example of what I hope to accomplish in life; break down the norm, and write my own rules of what are right and wrong. I was expecting a feminist rant from the novel, but it wasn’t so. So for that, Ms. Bunje, I thank you.
Tamari: Wow, I really enjoyed reading your insight. You have such a unique experience to things, and isn’t strictly limited to this Eurocentric view of the world. Great stuff! Though I do have to disagree that I think a woman president can run the country. As long as it’s not Sarah Palin, I’ll be fine. Am I allowed to swear here? Well if not, you know what I’m thinking. Women have proven themselves to be real leaders in the past, and I don’t doubt the abilities of their leadership. Perhaps women themselves have a different view on the topic, but that’s the way I see it. Once again, thanks for your blog, I enjoyed reading it.
Jon: Cool insights man. I love how all the girls attacked you though. Way to always start controversy. And I think your reasons for trading places has you down in a nutshell ;) Still though, I appreciate what you wrote. I mean god, imagine all the money we’ve blown on girls coming back to our wallets. Can you say jewel encrusted guitar? Though there are some points I don’t agree with, I’d rather not list them, in case we end up debating for 2 hours about nothing. You’ll end up missing the Wizards of Waverly Place . And yes, Selena Gomez is pretty hot.
Once again, thanks for your
opinions and insights, my fellow Americans.
This message has been brought to you by the Funk.
While staring into a never-ending point in the universe through the depths of a dark midnight sky, a woman sits alone on Christmas Eve in an empty airport terminal trying to forget the fact that she has nothing to come home to. Her one-and-only was unfortunately not one of the handsome men walking through the arrival gate who then swept their loves into their arms. She looked up into the sky watching the first flakes of snow descend to the ground as the reflection of the display screen in the window switched flights from “on time” to “delayed”. So many questions had been racing through her mind before as of where her love could be that her curiosity eventually faded into an exhausted mental abyss incapable of possessing any form of thought. Without even taking notice of her actions, she soon found herself inside her apartment leaning against the door with only darkness to accompany her. Her eyes closed like horizontal curtains at the closing of a tragic, tear-jerking play, and she soon began to feel her own tears run down the corners of her eyes. Then, she felt the hand of a shadow touch her cheek as the other began to pull her closer. The curtains reopened and her eyes met those of her love, and embraced a happy ending.
Could it be true that only women think of such romantic fantasies, while men find such stories useless and too implausible to occupy their mind with? If ever I had been given the chance to trade places with the opposite sex, this question of mentality would be the first thing I would want answered. It is understandable that the answer to this question may vary based upon personality, but my only question would be to know if such thinking is generally found among women. The reason why it is of great importance to me is because the answer would determine if women may be wasting their time with these fantasies. Having the right look, the right personality, and the right impression are all aspects which women find to be of extreme significance when they are seeking love. Perhaps these worries are being taken too seriously because the truth is that men are not looking for women possessing perfection. While women formulate these romantic stories in their head and try to fit the personality of the one who finds true love, they may not even realize the fact that they already have the right body, the right hair color, the right clothes, and the right smile.
I truly believe that there are great differences in how women and men experience the world because typically women are very oriented, mind-focused, romantic, much more acceptance to apologizing, and always remain very motivated when they wish to achieve something. Men, on the other hand, are competitive, conservative when it comes to business, fast-paced, never see crying as being an option, and are good at making decisions. It would be vastly incorrect to say that these are the personalities of all men and all women, and it would be wrong to say that some of the characteristics of men could not be shared by women and vice versa. The reason why I believe such differences exist is simply based upon what I have noticed about the behavior of men and women. For example, today as I was walking out to the buses, I watched a girl in front of me stare at her reflection in one of the hallways that has windows on both sides. She watched her reflection as she moved down the hallway; she was moving forward, but her head remained looking to her right where she could see her reflection. What got my attention was the fact that when I looked at her reflection, she didn’t seem satisfied. Earlier today, it came to my attention that the minute most girls walk into the gym locker room they take a quick look at themselves in the mirror. In the bathrooms, some girls will often stand in front of the mirror and fix their hair or make-up until they feel fully contented with their look. The truth is though, that I am guilty of this behavior as well. So, why is it then that look matters so much to women, and what has caused them to feel that it is important? This is the very reason why I wish I could understand the thoughts that go through a man’s mind because maybe looks are not as important to men as most women seem to think they are. More than likely, there is an overestimation that causes women to be more self-aware of themselves than they need to be.
To say that men have it easy would be wrong because as they are presented with such stories as Twilight, Titanic, Romeo and Juliet, or Moulin Rouge, they most likely feel the pressure to become more like the men in these storylines. These are the types of men women want, and therefore, the types of characteristics these seemingly perfect men possess are what men want. Then, when they see pop celebrities or movie stars on girls’ purses or on their binders or in their lockers whom they know some women would die for, they most likely feel that they have to change. Women also do not have it easy for the same reason. Both men and women try to change themselves simply to attract the opposite sex without having any knowledge of what it is that the other really wants, but, it is the way they have been living their lives since the beginning of their existences. If I had to choose which gender has it easier though, I would have to say men. My mind could certainly change if I switched to the opposite sex, but as a young woman, I feel that the obsession to reach perfection, or at least acceptability, is greater for females than it is for males. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing romantic stories in one’s head, but feeling as though a person must change themselves to fit the romantic plotline is wrong.
In response to Hilary R.:
I definitely agree with the fact that society is the main factor which has changed the ways in which men and women experience the world. History has also had an impact upon the opportunities women have tried to take in order to gain equality from men. You made some pretty bold and well-said statements in your blog that got my attention. Women are no longer afraid to take chances and make changes because of the stereotypes they had to live with. Now that many of these stereotypes are beginning to fade, women are stepping up to the plate. You included a lot of great references in your blog too to explain your points. I also agreed with you that women do live more difficult lives than men. As to whether or not women’s lives are getting easier, I would have to say that although they are, it is going at a pretty slow pace. Hopefully, women will gain the full equality they deserve soon.
I think that the way men and women experience things are only different because we make them different. There has been such a stereotype that we have to be different as genders and that there is a certain way we should act. I get nervous just like a guy does when approaching the other sex, I get tough and think I’m too-cool-for –school sometimes, even when I don’t have a good enough reason to. It all boils down to we are the same people, just have been conditioned to think that we have to be differently. I experience things like everyone else front row and center whether I like it or not. Boy’s sports have more contact in them, and have to be different from a girl, that to me is pointless. That is making us have different experiences. By making girls and guys do different things for the almost the same exact sport is separating us before we even get a chance to develop. My one friend that goes to a different school she plays baseball in high school. She is one of the best players I have ever seen on both fields. The first time she came up to the plate on a softball field she did amazing. She could do both, to her it wasn’t a different sport, it was the same basic principles just in one sport it is all girls and another it’s all boys. In both sports, batting is really important, and pitching is really hard and time consuming. Society has separated us into thinking we experience things differently, but we all experience pain, love, sacrifice, friendship, love, tension, and basically life. Because of my friend I feel like I have a better understanding that girls and can do anything boys can do, maybe not better but just as well. Also boys can do anything girls can do it’s all a matter of putting your mind to it. Her experiences and my every lasting views of feminism have guided me to this conclusion. I’ve read countless articles and done quite a few reports on what it means to be a woman. I feel like through reading things like Their Eyes Were Watching God, and my other very female targeted readings that emotions are more than just for girls, or guys they are a universal code of understanding. Girls and guys should start to be more understanding of each other. I don’t exactly think anyone has it easier. Guys have the advantage of confidence, they exude confidence and it’s not as common to see girls with confidence. Personally I lack confidence and it shows, I wish I had the confidence that some of my guy friends wear so well. Guy’s confidence may not be all it’s cracked up to be, but it still seems as if it comes easier to them to be relaxed and have a better sense of friendship. Girls have so much competitiveness and drama, and I don’t think guys feel that unless they are involved with girls, like dating or being friends. It doesn’t make them have it easier it just makes them a lucky that they can get over things such much easier. To solve that problem I have a new 5 second rule, you have 5 seconds to be mad and then get over it because girls need to get over things quicker and understand that your friends love you for who you are guy or girl and nothings worth not talking for weeks on end, ask any girl. Since my invention of that rule I find I would never trade places with any guy, they have the same problems just different reactions. I love being a girl and all the crazy drama that comes with. It’s not always the funniest thing to be involved with, but it’s made me stronger. Guy’s have friendships and coaches that make them stronger but so do I thus no need to change places. My friend proved to me that being a guy and a girl is not that different, and I’m very comfortable in my own skin. Even if I was a guy for even like an hour it wouldn’t be different than being a girl. It’s important to me that we all realized men aren’t from Mars, and women aren’t from Venus, we’re all from this place called Earth and we all go through life experiencing the same stuff just everything is different for each person, but that in no way has to deal with gender. WE all have issues and if everyone understands that then we can get past all this gender inequality and get into the important stuff like helping each other out when need be. Just for the record, Mar’s isn’t better than Venus anyway they are both just planets that may have different temperatures, and different surfaces but they are still making it in outer space. Unfortunately, they somehow got negative connotations, and that just isn’t fair.
Maegan Reese my hero! Your neat little gender factoid was one of the coolest I’ve seen. I’m usually very feminist and boast about women’s rights, but this question didn’t really call for it in my eyes. My favorite part about your blog has to e that you saw the way society has morphed us into thinking, and yet realized that we are different just not as much as everyone says genders are. I loved your point that no one forced these girls into wearing or doing what they do, its something that is demeaning and puts a bad reputation to the entire gender. I also think it in no way would be creepy to know what guys talk about. I am very skilled in the talking area, because I do a lot of it so I understand the want to know what other people talk about. Personally I have the hair color ( maybe not the jeans) but I still know what candidates are running I think its line thin we have to walk, and no one seems to really be getting that line right.
Intelligence, strength, logic, and so on is always the facts that people fight over. Yet, the averages are already there. Only fools would try to disprove them. However, these are not the things that separate the genders the most. Men and women are different, and one thing brings it out the most.
Why is it generally stay-at-home moms instead of dads? Culture. Why are women more likely to be treated like objects? Culture. Why is it men that are seen as more intelligent? Culture. Why are there no girls on the internet? Actually, there are-I mean culture. To put it bluntly, culture what truly separates genders.
Let’s take a look at an average man’s life and upbringing. Be strong, don’t cry, pretty things are wimpy, rip that tree out with your bare hands; Do those look familiar? That is what most men grew up with. The worst possible lesson, however, is the most seemingly benign one. “Don’t hit girls.” Now, before I get mobbed, I’d like to clarify. You shouldn’t be getting in fights unless the safety of yourself or others is threatened. The childhood lesson isn’t pacifism. It only provides the image that girls are weak cannot defend themselves. Sadly, “debate skills” isn’t exactly a priority in childhood. The view of strength is only physical. Males are already seen as superior, and guess what? A great many girls fall for this. Being on average, shorter, doesn’t exactly help either. Later on, this somehow equates to treating women like crap, or putting them on a throne and groveling at their every wish. Must be some distorted form of chivalry, or something. Despite my sarcasm, this is generally true. Pathetic.
Equality of the sexes dictates that I must rip apart the opposite gender also, except in a more politically correct way because it would be sexist otherwise. Alright, that’s not really the reason. I’d love to say I know everything, but I’m not female. I can’t exactly brazenly take everything apart without having actually experienced it all.
Overall, culture dictates women to be more submissive. It is less that it is being taught to act that way, and more that they aren’t taught about the aforementioned stump-ripping. Outside of the likelihood that males would be ostracized more for being different, this may also explain why I notice more exceptions to the normal idea of a female. That said, there still are too many examples women who choose to sell themselves, either in love, or just through pop culture. The world needs more women who can help themselves. Too bad there are a good number that are so strong-headed, they draw attention away from those who are more civil, to the point where they’re being counterproductive.
Who has it easier? Both genders have emotional and physical strife of similar calibers. When it comes to innate problems, girls have it harder. I’m not even going to bother to go into detail with that. Yet, when it comes to the cultural state, men have it overall harder. First is the fact that despite how many people who work hard to reach the point at which they’re at dislike it, society tends to cater to women who choose not to do anything. Secondly, though I can’t say any of the AP students would resort to this, but women can use their “bodies” (ahem, cough, hack), and more importantly, their “woe-is-me” to their advantage. This also applies for racism, where the “oppressed” side can claim discrimination, and gain sympathy. Just take a look at the Republican campaign. Like sheep, people, no matter what gender, will come in droves to those who try to monger sympathy.
Would I switch my gender? As much as I’d love to be able to cross my legs in a forward position without ending up on the floor in tears, I’d have to decline. We’re all ourselves. Sure, hormones may change a few things, but would that really matter? In the end, the greatest problem in equality is that we see too many personalities as “male” and “female", "black" and "white", and "weak" and "strong". We fail to see that everyone is different. Our experiences are what make us who we are. We can see this in the very blog that we’re discussing issue this for. Neither gender has some large concurring opinion.
I am Ivan, the most optimistic misanthrope in existence. Now, who are you?
~~
Whoa, that was long. Probably missed a few mistakes in my wording.
Many people like to believe that men and women are all equal. But truthfully, they are not. Men still have a higher platform that women do. Since the beginning of time, women have always been looked upon as being the weak: physically and mentally. There were rules at times where women could not go to school but men were encouraged to. Women were meant to stay in the house and all they were supposed to do was to cook and clean.
But women have it much harder than the men do. For example in Their Eyes Were Watching God Janie was ridiculed because she had gotten married three times, and all of those marriages failed. But if it was a man that had gotten married, three times it wouldn’t be such a problem to the world, society, and to culture.
Women have had to fight for any of the rights they have today, but people still seem to think that they are just not good enough. One of the public’s main concern’s about Hilary Clinton was that she would not be able to negotiate with countries like Afghanistan where a woman can’t even walk down a street unaccompanied, without getting beat in public or arrested? But the truth is that many countries like India, Iceland, and Nicaragua have already had many women leaders and they are proud of it. If women were truly equal it wouldn’t be such a big deal that a woman was running for president or vice president. If women were truly equal there wouldn’t have been so much controversy about having a woman president.
My thoughts about this topic are so pessimistic because I have seen and heard people comment on the achievement of women. I know guys that still think that women belong in the kitchen and in the house. Men definitely have it easier than women do because they have been favored since day one. They have always been given the upper hand. But now women are catching up. One should really notice that in most honors and AP classes there are more girls than guys. The revolution for women’s rights and equality was started a while ago but it hasn’t ended yet. But hopefully there will be one day where as Alice H said there will be utopia. A perfect world (well in a sense) where everyone would be equal and all the gender issues will be over.
I wouldn’t want to trade places with anyone for any amount of time because I like myself as I am. I mean sometimes I do wonder what is going on in other people’s heads but then I reconsider and I would rather not find out. God made me as I am and why would I want to change that. I was made like this for a reason and I want to find out what it is.
Leonor N: Leonor you are right. It shouldn't matter what sex you, what matter is the morals you believe in and the type of person you on the inside. Many people judge a book by it's cover by they never even thnink about opening it and seeing what is inside. I completely agree with on this.
Nyge : Please write that book on translating what women say to men talk. Every guy in the world will buy it.
Ash : Heh, don't believe that stupid notion that guys don't think about romantic stuff. Yeah, we do. Maybe not to the extent of women, but we do. Every single one of us. I don't pretend to be the macho guy. Am I overly emotional? No, but I don't trap myself in an emotional bottle either. I find it ironic that guys have that stature to live up to. The tough guy that never falters when struck. Every single one of us has cried in our lives, and to deny that is a joke. As long as you don't break any Man Laws, you're fine.
And I admire your idea on appearence. It's very true. Note to girls, stop spending so much damn time on how you look. Because to be honest, you all end up looking and acting the same. Please, we don't care if one hair is frizzy. We also don't care for toenails (I mean, who looks at feet) or fingernails. A great personality will take you a lot farther than shallow beauty. Like you said, we don't look for perfection. Perfect love takes time to grow, it doesn't pop out of the blue.
Take it to heart, ladies. You're welcome.
Jani :)
I'll get working on that book right away. Or atleast, I'll make one just for you. Is there some way i can get a copy of these "man laws?" or is reveling these laws one of the laws? hah Anyways, it's nice to know guys think about the gushy stuff as well. There isn't lost hope after all. And i love your response to Ashley's blog. It's like you're preaching to all women out there to be themselves. Pretty great stuff =)
Let me start this off by saying this is generalization, so I will laugh at people saying I'm sexist because of this blog. I'm a big fan of the Nurture argument over the Nature one. For those of you who don't know which, I'm hoping is none of you, Nature vs. Nurture is the classic argument over this very subject, and the subject of cultural differences. There are those who believe Nature takes a larger role believe that there are differences inherent in our DNA that set apart men from women, whites from blacks, blacks from hispanics, and so on and so forth. I however, reject this argument, for it also states that there are physical differences between any of us and any given homicidal maniac. This kind of idea, as far as I can see, merely serves to write off all blame, on the premise that it is not our fault, but something in us we could not control. There are, of course, genetic accidents which account for birth defects and insanity, but I think that a vast majority of us begin this life as a blank slate, which is then written on by everyone and everything we come into contact with.
That being said, because of that, I do not believe that there is a difference in the way men and women see the world, or experience it. While their experiences are often very different, men + women, when they have the same experience, experience it in exactly the same way. Not to say there's not a difference, I'm only talking about the wording. Experiencing things, I don't think differs all that much, but I do think that the sexes react much differently to what happens. From what I've seen, when something bad happens, men will bend. We'll flex a little bit, and try to make the best of our situation. Whereas in this same situation, women will either completely restructure their lives to avoid it, or try their hardest to fix it, and not be satisfied with anything that is not one of those outcomes. Guys will often be satisfied with remaining honorable in a situation of stress, whereas women will resort to almost anything to get to where they want the situation to go. Women are much more capable to show their emotions as well. Guys, unless it's something that hits them really deeply, will keep composure so as to appear 'strong.' Girls, for the most part, because of the difference in the way they're treated when younger, will show their emotions much more easily. To clarify, men are no less emotional than women, but from a young age, we're trained to not let it show through. And that form of objectiveness, while I think it does make it easier to make decisions in times of stress, also makes us, rather than getting it out in a healthy way, become a tad more violent when we get really emotional and can't let it out.
As to who has it easier, I think guys do. Women are subjected to a world of undercover scheming and plotting, and a world of two-faced smiles directed at their 'friends.' Not to say this isn't done in the male world, but with us, it is usually a lot more visual. The age-old dominance gene, that instinct to control our world, makes us more physically confrontational. We do not plot the drama nearly as much as our female counterparts, simply because boys are raised to be honorable. We'll try to not fight, but when that fails, we make it an intensely personal matter. Occasionally, we'll be involved in it, but more often than not, there is a female friend dragging us into it. Guys are simple critters, with wants and needs that can be satisfied by hanging out with our friends for hours on end, goofing off to no end. Women do this as well, but there is a bit more going on in their brain-minds. They confide in their friends to the point where when we would be hanging out, they would be having group therapy sessions. Adding to the crap they have to deal with is the sexism. It's a two way street, and don't any of you out there forget that, but while men and women deal with discrimination from the other sex, there are, unfortunately, more male sexists in power from the old days than most would care to admit. So with our true friends, and the lack of strong sexism, guys live considerably simpler lives than girls. Add to that the fact that we physically can't get PMS, and our lives are much simpler than yours.
And as to becoming the opposite sex, I would not want to do that directly from my now male identity except for reasons Bunje already vetoed, but I would like to see how my life would've turned out if I ha been born a she instead of a he. And besides, that would be more enlightening than just turning into a chick for a couple days. I imagine all I would be treated with would be confusion, plus I would have to figure out a whole to way to use the toilet. Seeing how my life would've turned out with female body parts would've been much more enlightening to the differences than just a day or a week or a month.
I've never been much for the boys vs girls debate. The very first question symbolizes exactly what is wrong with the mindset. Now, I'll own up and admit that I've only ever been a guy. Who knows what the future may bring, but so far, I've never really gotten around to playing on both teams. Some of you might have figured that out already. However, this next part my shock you. I've been lead to believe that the vast majority of people (and peoples) have only ever experienced one gender. That's right. To all of you scared, secretive people sitting at your keyboards, you are not strange. This is actually completely normal.
I was making a point, though, I think. Having no experience with the other end, most people are likely to vote that their side has whatever is preferable. It's only natural. If someone asks you which series of movies is better: one you loved, or one you've never seen, you're probably going to choose the one you loved. You're more likely to save your own mother than a stranger, and so on and so forth. Allow me to compliment the Grey's Anatomy quote someone used in last weeks blog. Dr. House once said "There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function." If you really want my personal opinion, I would say that neither side is likely to have a significant advantage over the other. I'm sure if you were to go through different classes and cultures with a somehow objective life difficulty test, you would likely find different results everywhere. Upper class young women often seem to have it as easy as they make it for themselves, whereas upper class young men seem to have more expected of them. Glancing at the covers of tabloids as you check out at the Acme isn't exactly research, though. Eventually, it all comes down to ambition. Ambitious women likely have it harder in many areas, but there aren't many men who can simply choose to get married and become a homemaker. But I digress. My goal is to entertain and disturb, yet I seem to be doing neither at the moment. Moving on.
Would I be willing to pull a switch-up on my gender? I suppose. Hell, I've considered it before. I mean, think about it. I'm tall, slender, have long legs... There's a good chance I could work out a lot better on team G. Hell, if anything were to happen to render my current reproductive organs useless, I'd give it about a 90% chance I'd go ahead and swap then and there. I have a decidedly un-masculine interest in sewing, enjoy sad love stories, and think the prospect of chocolate and ice cream causing even more happiness in my head is awesome. However, there are enough cracks on the railroad to keep me from taking the first train out. To start with, I'm just about completely straight. In this world, I'm sure there are undoubtedly several people for which I would take exception to this rule. I've never met any of them, though. In addition, I may simply want to become my old self again. Who knows if that would even be possible. If I changed, I could end up looking completely different. Still, if it were only temporary, I suppose I would do it. I'd want to know what I looked like as a girl. That's about the only school appropriate reason I can think of. I know that sounds bad, but it's not that I have a particularly dirty mind so much as I don't really hold gender as being very important. There just isn't that much I'd be interested in finding out.
Well, that's about it. Kinda bad compared to my first piece. I guess I wasn't in such a creative mood today. If anyone was disappointed by the lack of grotesque descriptions, let me know, I'll throw on some mood music and do my best to compose something retina-scarring.
I'm gonna get around to reading all of these comments, so I think I'll just start my comment² s from the beginning
To John/Myra – Just to put it out there, I am totally seeking both money and intimacy. If anyone is interested, I'll be waiting in the wedding chapel with the dual “You must be at least this mentally unstable/rich to enter” signs.
To Alice – Your comment on romance novels amuses me to no end, because, when you think about it, most anime/manga romances have a kind, fragile boy who ends up with the brave, tough girl.
To John (again) – I disagree with your little reference to The Giver. (One of my favorite books! I read it at least once a year from 4th to 6th grade.) That book influenced me greatly, and I think that a test tube society could be pulled off, but not necessarily for more than one generation. Though a leader may seek to seize total power for the good of all, if he has a successor, that person is not likely to follow through on the first leader's wishes.
Well, that should be enough for now. I'll post up some more comments if I see any more things to comment on.
Ah, the good old gender debate. I'm pretty sure this is the part where all the guys validate their masculinity/superiority, and all the girls protest the unfairness of society's undoubtedly sexist views. Sorry girls, but I'm going to have to go ahead and sell us out a little bit. To be perfectly frank, some or most of the differences that irk us so are a direct product of our lack of action to reconfigure society's model of a woman.
Think about it. Every time I turn on the TV, I see skimpily clad girls gyrated on the "flo'" to some rapper flashing his grill and throwing his money in the air. Sure, these degrading lyrics and music videos may have been the men's ideas, but last time I checked, nobody forced these girls into their barely-there outfits and made them dance in such a manner. This behavior is both disturbing and hypocritical to me, especially when I see these same girls on an "MTV news" segment advocating women's rights. If dancing provacotively in a g-string bikini is your idea of women's rights, then I think we're in trouble.
The next thing I'd like to elaborate on is based on a very loose stereotype, fueled by both my personal observations and some inferences that I've made. I think its quite important that I also add that although I may indicate that I believe that every girl falls into this category, I recognize that the majority of girls do not. In fact, I consider the girls in this cohort to be among some of the most intelligent and productive members of society I know. So please don't misunderstand or take offense to my next point.
Every time I walk down the hallway, or to the mall, or to the movies, or even to Sea Isle City for work, I see the same thing. Carbon copies of girls, with the same clothes, hair color, music taste, and personalities. Personally, I'm sick and tired of seeing dopey females sashay down the street in their denim minishorts and bubblegum pink tank tops, flipping their bleach blonde hair and batting their mascara-coated eyelashes at every guy who walks by. These girls seem to know all about the latest hookup, or what happened on the last episode of The Hills, but don't even know who the Presidential candidates are. It makes me sick to my stomach to watch this, because I feel as if all the rights that the women in the past have worked to aquire are now being wasted and taken for granted. We always want to point the finger and blame men/society for the general lack of respect for women, the real problem is ourselves. The way I see it, we are our own worst enemy.
That's not to say that men don't treat us unfairly, because they do. Personally, I've grown up with a mother who would gladly stand up and compete with a man any day, and although she sometimes ends up with the short end of the stick
I've been raised to do the same. Surely, there have been times that my mom hasn't gotten the big promotion, or got stuck in the office in the corner, or even had to go down to Washington DC for work because the company gave the office in Mays Landing to the guy from the office nextdoor. But if there's one thing I've learned by listening to her stories of work (over, and over, and over again), its that men really have no upper hand over women. In the twisted and warped moral code that I live by, worth is validated by personal achievement, something that I believe is completely unrelated to gender. Unfortunately, it seems that this isn't the case for others. It seems that men immediately assume their superiority just because they have bigger muscles or can run a faster mile. Just the other day, [insert name here], who holds the number 8 spot on my "10 Favorite People in the Entire World" list, almost got a right hook to the jaw when he blurted out, "Guys are just better than girls. It's a fact." Oh, really? Thank you for that insight, [insert name here]. I really appreciate it. And the whole "Wanna hear a joke? WOMEN'S RIGHTS LOL I'M SO CLEVER" is just downright ignorant. No matter how hard they try to push the blame onto society's brainwashing, boy's who say that are just looking for attention.
I wouldn't particularly say that either sex has it "easier", because I feel that the gender-specific pressures both sexes are put under can make life very difficult indeed. For girls, its fitting into that size 4pair of jeans or scoring the cutest date to prom. For the guys, its being the star athlete and varsity smooth talker. Minus any sexist discriminations one might face, I'd say that difficulty-wise, boy's and girl's lives fall pretty equally on the scale.
I don't think I'd want to trade places with a guy, to be honest. Being a girl is just too much fun, to be frank. However, I would be curious to hear an all guys converstaion, just to see what they talk about. That's not creepy or anything, right?
To Alice-
I agree with everything that you wrote, and kudos on making it sound so much more eloquent then my angry and abrasive rant. I also think that your belief that women are more manipulative is very insightful. As for the cynical part, I'd have to disagree and say its the other way around. Although the Most Cynical Person in the World Award goes to yours truly, because I truly am too cynical for my own good, it seems to me as though all my guy friends are a lot more bitter than my girl friends. From the way I see it, at least, us girls have been taught since we were little squirts that we could achieve anything we wanted, and that nobody could hold us back. Boys, on the other hand, seem to be taught that its a dog-eat-dog world, and that there will always be someone trying to beat you to your goal. Although the latter may be a more pratical view of the world, I appreciate the self esteem boost that the former provides. This "I CAN DO WHAT I WANT" attitude seems to impart a more hopeful attitude on girls than guys, who live by the "I CAN DO WHAT I WANT... AFTER I BEAT OUT THE OTHER GUY."
El Fin.
Oh! PS- Just thought I'd throw in this fun fact: Woman have the ability to think with both sides of their brain at once, which makes them supreme multitaskers. Men, on the other hand, only have the capacity to think with on side of their brain, which causes them to be, in most cases, single focused. This means that if you ask a guy to talk on the phone, watch TV, and pick out matching pair of socks, then he'll probably look at you like you're crazy. It all has to do with neuron capacity, or something. I don't want to make any scientific claims, because its been a while since I've read the article where I got this information from.
PRETTY NIFTY HUHHH!?
Brendan, you are officially my hero for quoting the most brilliant mind in the history of television-- Dr. Gregory House =] <3
And did you watch it last night? BECAUSE I HATED IT.
Alright, first off, my hat goes off to Myra for proving that there are women out there who will speak their minds. She's an impulsive little harpie, and I love her for it. Then again, I also, once again, commend Ivan for being the one to speak what I forgot, and speak out against the false chivalry to the women who are supposedly equal to us. To Ash S, I say simply not to lose hope. We do wax romantic, it's just more of a personal matter because of the culture that makes us 'tough.' And finally, towards John Schaeffer, you've always been tough with your points, but I tip my hat to you for standing your ground against Myra. That's scary stuff, man.
Brenden Armstrong-
You are my life hero. You're blog was possibly the funniest thing I've ever read, end of story. The whole part about you being a girl? I'd like to say I'm shocked, but come on now. I think I've come to expect the shocking from you.
On a more serious note, you made some really good points about things I'd never thought to consider. Kudos!
Here we have a nice heartfelt battle of the sexes question to start the year off rough and rigid, eh Bunje? Well contrary to my fellow meatheads who went ahead preached how easy a woman’s life is, I am going to take the opposing side of that argument.
Of course it is true that men and women experience the world in different ways. Besides the proven fact that the two have drastically different physiologies, there is also the mental conditioning that men and women go through. Do the words Barbie and Ken ring a bell? Well they should because this is the first vision of the sexes that is imprinted into the minds of children. From birth there are different expectations imposed upon boys and girls. This is not to say that it is commonly accepted that boys are superior to girls or vice versa, but it is simply the result of years of mental conditioning. Our society for the last two centuries was built around the idea that the man was the provider and the woman was the caretaker. This automatically put women in a submissive position to man. We have generically made women dependent on man even without saying it. These positions were set in stone and have only started to erode around the turn of the 21st century. And yet we still have songs such as “I like big butts”. Why do you think construction worker Barbie and interior designer Ken never caught on? Basically men and women experience the world different because of years of cultural molding of the sexes.
Now here is the ever dreaded, “who has it worse” bit which when answered could either make me an outcast amongst my male friends, or the subject of ridicule and spite within my female ones. And on I side note isn’t it funny how I automatically made out a woman’s wrath to be much worse than a man's? Well back on topic, sorry guys but this one is going to the girls. It is absolutely unquestionable that they have it harder off than us guys. This world is one dominated by man and women are the minority living within it. Women’s subservient position in history has made it harder for them to succeed in the modern world. They are not taken seriously in the professional field; basically they are second-class citizens. Besides this fact they also have to deal with much more physical and emotional pain than men do. The embodiment of this being how they deal within their own sex, attacking and verbally abusing the girls who do not quite fit in. And I don’t think I have to mention the monthly week of torture they go through. One of the major facts that made me support females in this argument is the sexual aspect. As a good friend of mine once said, “as soon as a hot girl walks through the door we eye rape her and strip her down of her innocence before she even says hello.” And how could this be any more the truth? The fact is that guys are driven by sex, uncontrollable and animalistic. Whether this is nature’s doing or our own perverted mindset does not matter. This is a huge set back for women as they are constantly seen as objects rather then people. So I apologize to my brethren but women have the win on this one.
I do sympathize with my boys on some levels though. In a society where men and women are supposed to be equal, women are still given the advantage. In the work force there are jobs that women aren’t suited for but are still hired due to sex quotas. The jobs that women exploit are the police force, fire department and life guarding primarily. These jobs tend to spoil their women, as in my own experience every girl on the beach patrol never helps to lift any of the equipment or set up. This isn’t their own laziness but just the way they have been treated. Also in the justice system all a girl needs to do is whisper the word rape to have a guy locked up for life. In all our societies progression of equality it still has some kinks to work out.
I will make this point loud and clear right now, I would NEVER EVER TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE switch places with a girl. I have the easy life as a man. All I have to worry about are school and sports. I would never want to deal with the social drama, abuse and mistreatment that girls go through. And besides, tents are easier to set up then temples.
Well since molly has turned this into a revitalization of the Clinton campaign I guess we’re going to get political. First of all remember those jobs I mentioned that women weren’t suited for? Ding-ding-ding we have a winner! The presidency is a title that I thoroughly believe should not be held by a woman, at least not at this time. Molly as you mentioned those similarities between your campaign and Hilary’s I noticed the same flaw in them both, the emotion. Now I’m not saying the presidency has to be an emotionless position but it is definitely one that can do without sadness and pity. No one wants to see their future leader break down crying on national television. On the outside men are just emotionless jerks that will not succumb to stress and pressure. Of course they fall apart like a sandcastle to the tide when they go home, but to the public they are strong. I think you would have made a great vice president, but as our student body reflected the national polls, we are just not ready as a country for a woman leader. But apart from the political aspect of your response I agree with you that men have it way easier. I’m not about to pull my lip over the back of my head any time soon. I also loved your insight as to how girls continually try to impress the people around them. And it may come as a surprise but guys are competitive as they are because we are always trying to impress. That’s just the competitive jerkiness that comes with being a guy, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
In general, people experience things differently due to who they are and what they’ve already experienced. You may think this has very little to do with gender, and at first glance it does. People, as individuals, not as men or women, experience things in their own way. But people are shaped by certain factors, and often gender weighs into it. I, as an older sister, have a much different mentality towards my siblings than the older brothers I know do. I, as a girlfriend, have a mentality towards certain aspects of a relationship (the physical nature, the possibilities of distance, how to deal with disagreements, etc.) that varies quite a lot from views I’ve heard from guys I know. These differences can be attributed to common factors: girls are more likely to be “mothering” their siblings than boys, which may be attributed to “maternal instincts”, which makes their life experiences with their families far different than males. The difference in relationship issues can be attributed to many factors, most of which are generalizations- for instance, the generalization that physicality matters more to men in a relationship than to women. If you’re dealing with decent people, this is not necessarily true. Are there cases in which it is true? Of course. But it’s crudely over-generalizing to assume that all men, or even most men, care more about the physical nature of a relationship than anything else.
I don’t think either sex has it necessarily “easier”. Each gender, and each person, has to conquer their own obstacles. Obviously each gender has to deal with some gender specific things, such as PMS-ing. Ugh, pms-ing. And pregnancy, for that matter. What was that Mr. Daniels used to say? “All the men in the room! Take your bottom lip, stretch it over your head and touch the back of your neck with it. THAT’s what childbirth feels like.”
Pleasant, huh? Anyway, as I said, some issues a person encounters will be strictly gender-specific. But many are not, and conceding to that fact, I admit that overall it is probably just as hard to be a guy as it is to be a woman.
As for trading places with a member of the opposite sex, I think I would like to switch for like a day, mostly because it would be educationally interesting. I’d enjoy being able to compare certain experiences (such as a certain freshman science course) from both genders points of view. I feel like it would grant me the understanding to be more compassionate about the male situation: and I definitely feel some men could do with a dose of womanhood every now and then, to inspire compassion in them as well. If we could experience, not through words, or acting, or parallel encounters, but truly understand the opposite sexes hardships and tribulations, I think that could do away with sexism entirely and society would be better for it. The world can always use come more understanding.
Also, I feel the need to shout out to Alice, Brendan and Eva. First, Alice. Thank you for pointing out a difference that I forgot: Women are definatly more conniving than men. It's not necessarily a bad thing, honestly. I've managed to plan some pretty outrageously elaborate surprises without anyone knowing anything because I'm naturally slightly manipulative. But I use my powers for good, promise. Brendan, thank you for bringing some lightheartedness to this matter. People tend to take the gender argument a bit too seriously, and I appreciated the upbeat response. As for Myra, more power to you. I agreed with almost everything you said about being above the stereotype, and have to say: Hey Jon. If the only girls you've ever dated are airheads, maybe you're not looking in the right places, because there are an awful lot of us who aren't.
Even though women’s involvement in society in the past few decades has dramatically changed, we still experience life in a way that men cannot understand. In my experience, women are accepted different socially, physically, and mentally. A main aspect of the bias that irks me is the slanted treatment that men receive in the world of sports. Even at Oakcrest, we experience it practically everyday. If there were ever two home soccer games on the same day, 99.9999999 percent of the time, we would be shunned to the desert of a JV soccer field while the boys bask in the shining sun and freshly cut grass. Why? This advantage is absolutely ridiculous. The team with the better record should reap the benefits of their hard labor the day before. Not only do they receive better treatment on the field, but also off of it. I dare you to walk into the trainer’s room as a girl when there is a home football game. Your knee cap could be dangling from your bloody limp mutilated leg, and you would still have to assert yourself a few times before you were finally noticed. If men and women are SO equal, then why do we not have a girls’ football team?
As for academically, I believe that it is equal, but only in countries similar to America. As for most other countries around the globe, a woman going to school and providing for herself is unthinkable. Most women of America whine and groan about how biased our lives are compared to that of a man. We get an equal chance for education, jobs, housing, food, and a family, (Most of the time) yet there are other women who aren’t even allowed to show their face in public, let alone wear ripped short shorts with a bikini top out on the streets. We should be ashamed about how we cry about our lives, when we don’t have it the worst.
Who has it easier? I think that depends on what you think easy is. Waking up at four thirty in the morning to wash blow dry and straighten your hair? (that doesn’t even include the time it takes to pick out clothes, because something that looked absolutely amazing the night before might not look so hot when you put it back on in the morning) But, don’t forget, you still have to look awake and bubbly at school in the morning for all of the cute guys. What a life. When I come to school in sweatpants and a soccer t-shirt, you do not even know how many puny little stuck up freshman girls give me the look. Really? I know that I look like a scum bag, but seriously I don’t give a crap. We both know how much of a scum bag I look like and I don’t feel the need to broadcast when I feel like wearing comfortable clothes. I had about 890,909,565 calc problems to do last night, and physics homework that I do not comprehend at all, do you really want to mess with me right now? Plus I have extremely butch soccer friends that will crush you in .5 seconds. (Carl <3) Try me.
I would for sure change spots with a guy for a day! I want to know what they think, how they think, and if they even think at all. (no offense) Man code? I want to know what that entails. Peeing in a urinal would be challenging, and at lunch I would eat so much food! But most of all I would want to sit in class and flex my gigantic muscles, and look at them all day. =)
To Matt Capone:
that was some of the most insightful stuff I've read on the subject. Barbie and Ken are a great example of what makes us the way we are as women. I think you touched on something i forgot in hat your right construction worker Barbie and interior designer Ken never caught on, and what a shame because i think people would be more willing to be who they want to be if the world would just let everyone do their own thing. Your a 100% right, i don't think Barbies and Kens is how we should all be. And thank you for being very objective about the whole subject. Not many guys can do that, but most guys on here have effectively done it in some manner. :)
When asked to imagine in your mind a secretary, immediately people think of a women. When asked the same question but to picture a carpenter, people first think of a man. I doubt many of us are sexist, but still these stereotypes will invade our minds thanks to the television, movies and the publicly viewed billboards and commercials that segregate sex.
In response to the general question, everyone experiences the world through a different looking glass, however I believe that men and women most definitely share opposite or contradicting thoughts and mindsets about certain experiences, causing them to experience the world in different ways. During the growth and development of a young boy he is taught to stand up for himself and generally be athletic. Because of the stereotype on girl’s “hard feelings,” girls are told to pursue what the dream of becoming and are often treated in a les disciplined matter. I will say with any comment I make, there are of course exceptions, however, think about your childhood and compare yourself. Boys will probably stay friends longer because they’re not as sensitive over ridiculous issues and girls will mentally work harder to pursue their goals.
Now if I could rant about the opposite sex. Boys, sometimes you really just don’t know when enough is enough. I am a pretty comical person, so when I start to get a little aggravated over a repetitive joke its probably time to QUIT IT! Like I said, girls will hold grudges and make you suffer until we feel is a suitable amount of time until we get over it. Another thing, I know sexual jokes are a big thing, and it almost defines out public society now, but how old are we? Sometimes, its just a little immature when the only things that creep out of a teenage boys mouth are, “That’s what she said.” Finally the thing that annoys me the most is how boys think athletically the yare stronger, faster and overall better than girls. Boys you are built big, so if your not able to life about twice the weight of a girl you should probably take a trip to the gym. Men were created to have muscles and big boned bodies, girls have smaller figures fit for different purposes. However, there are different sports levels for a reason. Girls varsity is just as competitive and trained with discipline and hard work just like a boy’s varsity team. So, for boys to be trashing the girls sports teams and saying that we don’t train hard enough, think a little and wait until the end of the season and then look at the records. That determines who really performs the best. I have always believed that sports are the majority mental and my coach always tells us “GIRLS HAVE TO FEEL GOOD TO PLAY GOOD AND GUYS HAVE TO PLAY GOOD TO FEEL GOOD.” Think, it’s completely true. Girl’s sports are just as competitive as guys and we work just as hard enough harder because were forced to prove ourselves. The only thing that’s different is the shirt sizes.
If I could understand or experience the thoughts that go through a teenage boys mind I would take the opportunity. Boys say girls are confusing, but boys keep a stubborn and straight face the entire day its equally as hard to read your minds. Although Cosmo Girl and Seventeen magazines can tell you ‘what boys really think about,’ in reality everyone is different and you never know what’s going on in someone else’s daily thoughts…..unless your Edward Cullen!:)
To Jennifer P.: Yes, I saw house last night. I didn't think it was awful, but I certainly hope it improves from here. How did house go from someone who was traumatized when one single patient died to letting his patient die to save his friendship? Also, I've kind of forgotten who you are, so point yourself out if you see me in school, could you? I'm terrible with remembering faces.
To everyone else: Thanks for saying I was funny with my blog. I would like to point out, though, that I meant a lot of it, even the becoming a girl stuff.
Maybe I'm stranger than people yet know.
"I mean, think about it. I'm tall, slender, have long legs... There's a good chance I could work out a lot better on team G. Hell, if anything were to happen to render my current reproductive organs useless, I'd give it about a 90% chance I'd go ahead and swap then and there."
I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT BRENDAN ARMSTRONG IS THE FUNNIEST PERSON ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH AND I ALMOST PEED MY PANTS WHEN I READ THAT...
haahahahahahahahahahhah
“GIRLS HAVE TO FEEL GOOD TO PLAY GOOD AND GUYS HAVE TO PLAY GOOD TO FEEL GOOD.”
Carl, that is so true, and I've never really thought about it that way. Try screaming and cursing your guts out at a girls sports team after a tough loss. There are going to be some tears..... a lot of tears.
oh and I love the Edward reference.
MAEGAN REESE
Like always, your insight and unique responses to any posed question strikes my attention. You are completly right, girls fall into the stereotypes and they bring the sexism onto themselves when the pose for sexual rap videos, and get caught up in the "sex" appeal of our society. The typical girl walking down the bordwalk are sorry, but a disgrace to our gender and downsize all of the hard work influential women like Abigail Adams and HIllary Clinton (molly!) have worked so hard to accomplish for us. A lot of the time women anticipate and lure men to say repeat the ignorant comments.
Maegan Reese you would say El Fin.
As much as some may dispute it, the ways in which women and men do not view the world and life itself any differently. Now, this may not be the case for all, but for the majority, this is true. To try and define the way in which both sexes see the world is difficult, especially since I can only vouch for the women. I can only attempt to guess how men think and experience the world from what I observe everyday. Thus, although I do believe that both sexes experience life similarly, I cannot be sure how to determine the other side’s views.
Women and men see the world in similar ways. This much I am sure of. The question is, why? I think that to start answering this question, we first have to realize that it all begins with our childhoods. Unfortunately, when we are born, we do not get the luxury of choosing whom our parents are and what their views on life might be. Depending on them, girls can grow up to be doctors, architects, singers, hookers, or etc. Men can become pretty much the same, although, I’m not too sure if a guy hooker is actually called…a guy hooker. Anyways, because of this variability, everyone grows up in a different environment from everyone else, and this fact cannot be divided by genders. There are stereotypes, yes, but I feel like they do not really define us. For the women, the stereotypes range from quiet, obeying women to the seductive street cats. (These are the extremes mind you.) For men, it ranges from extreme body builders to government leaders or officials. These crazy stereotypes of men and women are ridiculous. Women can be body builders just as good as guys can be quiet and obeying. To say that one trait belongs to one sex only is utterly outrageous. The personality traits we have spring from the fact that our parents teach us to be the way we are. The way they raise us greatly impacts our outlook on life.
In the media, or just the outside world in general, there are huge amounts of examples of stereotypes of women and men. (By the way, I just used “of” three times in one sentence. Weird.) I have always read it in books, especially when I was younger. The fairytales of princesses and princes, balls and dancing. They often portrayed the main female character as kind-hearted, and always having some kind of dilemma to which she must be saved by none other than, a male. Take for example, Snow White. Oh gosh. The way she is portrayed in this infamous story makes women seem incredibly stupid. Yet, they are rewarding her stupidity of using the poisoned comb or eating the poisoned apple! The message being sent out to the little girls, like me at the time, was that it is okay, even encouraged, to be naïve and ignorant. It encouraged us that we would find love and all that jazz by being innocent. Hey, who knows? Maybe we’ll even reel in a prince! However, in reality, we all know this isn’t the case. Heck, if you go out into the world today as naïve as Snow White, you might as well sign your death wish because you WILL be taken advantage of at every turn! Thus, do not try to be like Snow White girls! =P
Who has it easier? That’s a difficult one, but I would have to say that the guys do. I mean, come on, do you guys really realize just how much longer it takes us girls to get ready in the morning? Oh, and don’t pull that we-could-care-less crap on me, because honey, you haven’t seen half the girls without makeup or frizzy heads. You may say, like Janiru has bluntly said, that you don’t care, but then half the guys I know like to comment on passing girls in the hallway who aren’t physically beautiful. Boys do not have to really worry about this if they didn’t want to because most already look normal when they wake up. All they have to do is slip on any jeans and any shirt. It must be great waking up ten minutes before the bus. Another thing that proves a man’s life is easier is just a result of the cycles of patriarchal thinking over the decades. Year after year parents have mostly always wished for a son, whether to carry on The Name or just to help lift things even. By the way, what a joke, I can carry like 20 shopping bags at once. BEAT THAT. (I dare you, no balls!) Ok, so like I was saying, parents usually prefer boys to girls which entails that boys already have the parents favor. Girls, on the other hand, have to work for their place in their parents hearts. Of course, this is probably why girls seem to be genetically better at getting the things they want. This trait probably evolved from the X amount of years that parents wished for sons, and got us lovely girls instead. DEAL. Oh yeah, and let’s not forget which sex tends to get raped more. Yeah, that would be us girls. These are only the first reasons that pooped into my head as to why guys have it so much easier than girls.
I would DEFINITELY ABSOLIVELY trade places with a guy. I would want to know what goes on in their heads, and if they seriously hear themselves when they talk! Seriously, sometimes I really don’t think they realize. I’d want to know if they share lockers and change with each other in the locker rooms like the girls do. I would want to know how it’s like just to wear boxers and baggy jeans. OH. I would also like to figure out how the heck they can go an entire day with their pants around their knees! That’s some crazy skills. I’d want to know how guys will eat the grossest things JUST because they were dared to. Lastly, I would like to feel how it’s like to be addicted to WOW. (cough matt capone cough cough =))
Oh gosh, I would make a typo like that. **pooped = popped. heh.
I firmly believe that women can achieve just as much as men, but there are still numerous inherent differences between the sexes. Many people, especially men, laugh at the idea of having a woman as president/vice president. On television, women aren’t even seen as people, just objects for the pleasure of the opposite sex. Despite all those years women fought for our rights and equality, we seem to be gradually declining back to ‘that’ level. We put the issue of sexism on ourselves. Instead of seeing a woman as the next president, we’re expected to be the background dancers in Kanye West’s (not pronounced like ‘cane’…) latest video. Unfortunately, despite how much I hate to admit it, we aren’t as athletically talented as men. But what we lack physically, we make up for emotionally. We are more emotionally connected to the world and it is not because it’s that time of the month, boys. Seriously, most men have the emotional range of a teaspoon (kudos to Hermione). Girls sometimes have TOO many emotions for even any man to fathom. I’m sure you boys wonder how we can worry about so many things at once. But, in my case, I grew up with three boys and was cajoled into playing sports at a young age, so I’m not as open to my feelings as other girls can be. The household you grow up in assembles who you are. I wore sweatpants and unflattering shirts until 6th grade. I was quite the tomboy. I saw other girls start to flaunt their changing figures and I envied them. Therefore, I became somewhat of a girlie-girl, but I never diverged from all of my tomboy traits. It actually frustrates me sometimes when girls just cry when they don’t know what to do. Have some backbone, ladies. No offense at all, but that’s a prominent reason as to why we are viewed as the ‘weaker’ sex. My mom reminds me all the time that I’m the voice of reason in the house. She would honestly be a mess if I didn’t handle situations so calmly. I’ll admit, though, I have my days where everything seems to be piling itself onto my shoulders.
Girls nowadays seem like clones. One of the reasons I stay in the AP/Honors program is because of the girls that aren’t mindless, easily swayed drones like the rest of the global population. It’s sad to see how much women depend upon their physical appearance rather than their intellectual ability. I’m not saying I don’t, and I know the rest of you do too. Back in the day, when I was a dancer, my mother used to call me “Girlie Show” because I always found a way to be the center of everyone’s attention. Girls all want to impress that certain crush, and as females we’ll do anything to get what we want, whether it be about a boy or not. Even if you don’t wear all those name brand clothing, every girl still wants to be noticed by someone, and it’s an extremely hard pill to swallow when you’re not as pretty or friendly as the girl next to you. Take the movie, “Mean Girls” for example. Girls are just plain vicious, and we tend to hold grudges about the most insignificant things. We talk crap on other people so we’ll feel better despite the broken hearts and hurt feelings. Boys on the other hand couldn’t give a hoot about what others think of them, but I still sense that they have their share of gossip too.
I think both genders have it difficult in different ways. Men, as Jon addressed before, have the unfortunate task of asking a girl out. Well, it’s most likely that you’re not attracted to a girl by just their personality, despite what you say. Teenage girls constantly fidget with their appearance and I guarantee you wouldn’t feel the same way about a girl if they cared as much as you don’t about their exterior. You also obviously neglected the fact that we’re just as scared and nervous on a date as you are, and I honestly wouldn’t mind paying for my own movie ticket or splitting the check for dinner. So, both genders have the jitters when it comes to the opposite sex. Women suffer the pain of our monthly friend. Boys have to endure the hardships of more laborious activities than females, but girls still have to fit into a size 3 and live up to supermodel standards in order to be looked at twice. For guys, they have to live up to a macho super star athlete in order to be accepted. I believe life is equally hard on each gender. Our worries differ between each sex.
No make-up, no straightening irons, no curling spray, no shaving, and no monthly friends…I would honestly love, love, love the opportunity to experience life as the opposite sex. I’ve actually always been curious as to what goes on in their heads and I always wondered about what and how they perceive me and other people. I wouldn’t mind the extra boost of athleticism either! I’ve always wondered how they can be so carefree about everything. I marvel at what their conversations are about, so I would trade places with the opposite sex in a heartbeat.
In response to Car-Car's comment:
"Girls varsity is just as competitive and trained with discipline and hard work just like a boy’s varsity team. So, for boys to be trashing the girls sports teams and saying that we don’t train hard enough, think a little and wait until the end of the season and then look at the records." You tell 'em girl! :)
Hil:
“who is going out with who” or “OH EM GEE! Pink is the new black”
Uh, by the way, I thought you got the memo; black is the new black. Sorry to dissapoint. That explains your wardrobe lately...AHAHAHAHA J/K. But yeah, I agree that girls bother themselves with this nonsense, even though I do the former too. I wish we wouldn't though. Girls are like canivorous animals with gossip. They tear it, distort it, and share it with their pack. Once you entrust a few people with your personal life, everyone knows by the start of homeroom. It is ridonkulous. Truly.
Capone, you never fail to straight up say it how it is.
"Now here is the ever dreaded, “who has it worse” bit which when answered could either make me an outcast amongst my male friends, or the subject of ridicule and spite within my female ones. And on I side note isn’t it funny how I automatically made out a woman’s wrath to be much worse than a man's?"
I love how that is the complete truth. Girls take so much offense to any little thing, ranting and disputing because we're so defensive. Women seem to always be hating. Then there are the guys, who just really don't care. They stay out of drama as much as possible, unless it involves sports. If anything, they'll just make fun of people.
"I will make this point loud and clear right now, I would NEVER EVER TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE switch places with a girl. I have the easy life as a man. All I have to worry about are school and sports. I would never want to deal with the social drama, abuse and mistreatment that girls go through. And besides, tents are easier to set up then temples."
To admit that you have the "easy life" isn't an easy thing to do, whether it's the truth or not. But it is true that girls have so much more pressure and drama between other girls, trying to impress people, and dealing with ridicule, while guys can just, like you said, worry about school and sports.
Brendan- I take complete offense to how you forget who I am. I hate you. (I am completely joking, just showing the stereotypical girl's response to such meaningless things). But, no, I was in chemistry with you last year. Alright, so it wasn't awful, but it's almost as if they're forcing people to get mad. You're right, House's purpose has always been one thing: saving the life. He never cared exactly who the person was, just as long as he solved the puzzle. But to risk a patients life for Wilson? No, that's not House. And for Wilson to bad-mouth House like that? No, that's not Wilson, either. AND I STILL MISS THE OLD TEAM.
I babysit for two wonderful children, Gracie and Max. When I go to Gracie’s house, it’s all about her. We play dress-up, restaurant with her Playdoh, make bead necklaces, go for bike rides- basically if you name it, we’ve done it. Heaven forbid I leave her side to even so much as answer the telephone. Gracie will talk and talk my ear off about all kinds of things. This five year old can literally keep a conversation for hours on end. She asks questions about EVERYTHING, and openly shares the details of her “first kiss” (yes, she’s already kissed a boy!), complains about her teacher, or delves into details about her closest friends. She’ll show me her new lunch box, or the pretty crayons that mommy bought. Max, on the other hand, is way more reserved. I show up at his house, and he’ll answer the door with nothing but a bright smile. He’ll lead me into the TV room, and force me to watch as he kicks butt on his video games. He’ll occasionally stop to make sure I’m watching, but in general, that’s all that he asks of me. I even bring my homework to do because I know it’s going to be a quiet evening. This five year old only speaks when spoken to, and is so ridiculously content with doing anything. I’ll ask him about school, and he’ll manage a pathetic, “It’s good.” I love Max dearly, and he’s so well behaved, but he’s so easy to babysit that I feel like I’m practically robbing from his parents.
Why bore you all with tales of my babysitting experiences? I feel that they’re completely relevant to my feelings about the differences between boys and girls. Because let’s face it- we DO experience the world differently. Although there are a number of factors that influence the way we view the world, such as ethnicity and upbringing, gender definitely ranks high up there. I’m going to use Gracie and Max as my method of displaying these obvious differences. Little Gracie is a spitfire to begin with, and she’s naturally a more outgoing kid then Max, so I can’t leave that out. However, the way that she runs around, jumping from game to game, pulling me along like I’m her personal play-mate, well these are all characteristics of your typical girl. We don’t like to stop. Women’s lives are filled to the brim with activity. Back in the day, when women were more suppressed, they never got to experience the freedoms that we do now. Yet nowadays women don’t stop. We (usually) have to help the kids with their homework, feed the husband, take the dog out to pee, go grocery shopping, call the in-laws, and deal with the constant stress and problems that go along with a career. In a sense, women do it all. We’re hard workers, and we like it that way. I honestly feel that we wouldn’t change this about ourselves, and that we’re proud of pulling ourselves in billions of directions. (Now, I know that not all women are like this, however this is a more positive stereotype so I’m choosing to use it instead of the “gossip-loving, brand-name-clothes-only, I-want-to-impress-every-guy-in-the-world” stereotype that I know is out there. Like Miss Bunje pointed out to me today “I’m a silver lining kind of girl.”) Anyway, Gracie is also an emotional little creature. She readily shares her feelings about all kinds of things, and she gets very upset sometimes. One day she cried because I couldn’t get “My Little Pony” to play! This may sound trivial, but let’s not forget she’s only five years old. My point is- women show emotions. We are attached to all that we do in life, and although we don’t all show things, we all feel them on a very deep level.
I’m going to have a harder time talking about men, because I don’t really know first-hand what you go through, so I can only base my words on generalizations (which I hate to make) and observations. Max. What a great kid. He’s laid back, and he certainly knows what he wants. I think that a lot of guys are more laid back, and that they don’t get involved the way that girls do. Guys “float” through life, and I definitely don’t mean that in a bad way. I recognize that guys are thinkers, that they have feelings, and that they do try hard. However, I just don’t view them to be as deep as a female. Forgive me if I’m wrong. It seems as though men can let go of things easier, and that they often don’t observe and stress the way that women do. Also, men adjust to things better then women, or so it seems. I think that men are instinctually stronger and more able. I’m not trying to be sexist, but it’s just the way things were meant to be. Women make up for the lack of physical strength and ability by our domination in the mental arena. When we put our minds to it, NOTHING can get in the way.
I’m not really sure who has it easier. Obviously, women go through a GREAT deal of pain once a month. And we have the babies. So in that sense, men, I’m going to say that you have it easier. However, guys go through a lot as well. They deal with social pressures that us girls never even consider. We’re so quick to assume that they all get along. The truth is- guys can be just as vicious and nasty as girls. Sure, it’s done differently, but it’s still done. Each gender has different issues, and I don’t think it’s fair to say that one has things “easier.”
Would I trade places with a guy? Only on bad hair days. I love being a girl, really I do. It’s pretty exciting and really fun. I just hate doing my hair. So in that sense, I would love to trade with a guy. In all seriousness though, trading places with a guy would be fun for a day or too, but I’d never want to make that switch permanent or anything. It would just be nice to figure exactly what goes through their minds, because I can NOT figure it out.
"Earlier today, it came to my attention that the minute most girls walk into the gym locker room they take a quick look at themselves in the mirror. In the bathrooms, some girls will often stand in front of the mirror and fix their hair or make-up until they feel fully contented with their look. The truth is though, that I am guilty of this behavior as well. So, why is it then that look matters so much to women, and what has caused them to feel that it is important? This is the very reason why I wish I could understand the thoughts that go through a man’s mind because maybe looks are not as important to men as most women seem to think they are. More than likely, there is an overestimation that causes women to be more self-aware of themselves than they need to be."
-Ashley Schieder
Can I just say that I LOVE your blog. It's so insightful! This part especially made me think. I always look in the mirror too, it's pretty much a subconscious thing by now. I never really thought about it before though, so I thank you for shedding light on this difference between guys and girls. I agree that women are so much more self-aware, and I think it has a lot to do with our brains, which work WAY too hard. We observe so much during the day, that most guys miss, and I think it's just natural for us to wonder what we look like. Anyway, your blogs so far are my favorite to read. I'm a huge fan!
In response to megsong:
"Boys do not have to really worry about this if they didn’t want to because most already look normal when they wake up. All they have to do is slip on any jeans and any shirt. It must be great waking up ten minutes before the bus."
See, it's just that certain girls try too hard to impress. I can honestly say that I wake up at 6:15, and catch my 6:30 bus on time. It's because I really don't care, I just throw on what I think might match, what I hope is comfortable, and what I can quickly get out of to change into a sports bra and shorts when I get home. Some girls just feel that they have to dress to impress, but personally, we can get ready just as quickly as guys did if we dressed for comfort.
Oh yeah and i want to add one more thing. Has anyone noticed how each of you have said "men AND women". Whats wrong with "women and men"...does it have a disease???
Every child asks the same question growing up. “Why are boys and girls different?” And every parent answers the same way, describing the obvious, physical differences between males and females. But, rarely, do they ever go further. Naturally there are different ways men and women experience the world. I feel that I have some experience dealing with the dark side (two sisters). Just one word describes the main difference between males and females, feelings. Observing how my parents treat them as opposed to me has lead to the conclusion that they care more about my sisters' feelings than about my own. Now, I do not disagree with this segregated treatment. I feel the good goes with the bad. If I stay out later than my sisters, the initial impact may be great, but there is no after shock. However, when my sisters stay out late, the initial impact will be a mere glancing blow. The after shock, on the other hand, is a drawn out torture.
There are not only differences in the way that we are treated. I've seen my work ethic and my sisters' work ethic. It is safe to say that there is little to no comparison to my own. Women are still waiting to "shatter the glass ceiling". They want equality and nothing can stop them. However, as soon as the opportunity arises, badda bing badda boom, they twist their once feminist, extremely conservative appearance to fit a sexual key to the male brain. All that is needed is a hike of the skirt or some deep red lipstick, accompanied with a slight, almost questionable pucker. Take a man in that same situation, how can turn his sexuality on? Watcha see is watcha got. Somewhere along the biological line between men and women the ability to fly below the radar has been lost among men.
As in the introduction to Their Eyes Were Watching God "Now, women forget all those things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to forget." This is all too true. From a male perspective, this fully embodies the contradicting nature of women. I believe that women have it better, not so much easier. If this were a nature channel exploring the mating rituals of the infamous human species, it may go something like this (read following in an Australian accent) "Ay, it looks like the male is approaching the female. He is performing his unique ritual that each human has. Although each male has a different approach, they all have a song and a dance to perform for the female. It seems as if the female has taken a liking to this strapping male. Gifts are necessary for a relationship to truly ignite. Oh what's this? It seems as if the female has turned on the male, she feels threatened by his gift. For this male the window of opportunity has closed. I'm sure they can still be friends though." The woman is in complete control in a relationship. However, if the man tries to assert himself, he turns into a controlling boyfriend that, despite good intension, is ridiculed. Men, forever caught between a rock and twenty-first century women.
I would want to trade places with the opposite sex. I would find this to be a revealing time for the mystery that surrounds women. Maybe I can have a first person experience as opposed to a researcher mentality. I can only remember that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Through observation and perception (no blind humor intended =P), I have come to notice a sort of pattern in society- as have many, I by no means consider myself sexist, but I must admit, being I girl, I AM a bit bias here. It seems as if men have life just the tiniest bit easier than the majority of woman. I see men as strong figures throughout the history of society. Women have gradually grown to this approximate point, but are not quite there yet. Although we have significant representation of just how “strong” we can be, have any of them been in a total Position of power? I don’t just mean governor, mayor, senate… ex., because I know that this is completely possible. It happens all the time, but I mean position like president, for instance. True, Palin has not officially been voted out, but as for Hilary, she has. Yes, I understand that PEOPLE DO have political differences, but at the same time I can’t help but feel that it was more than political differences that set her behind in this election. I feel that although women are out into positions of limited authority, I do not see that they are entirely held to the same regard as the male population of this society. From previous evidence, however, I can conclude that the social order is slowly but surely evening out. I mean, look about fifty years back…women were thought of as cutsie little housewives, but from decade to decade a change can be seen. Women are living up to the pattern so far, and hopefully it continues for years to come.
It is pretty plain to see that I think that men have it easier than women. It doesn’t even have to be in a political sense, there’s sexual harassment, athletic standards, and even childbirth to consider. Maybe men have to deal with harassment issues, but I doubt it is as frequent an issue as with women. What can be said that women have easy in their lives? Sure, a woman could use her body to manipulate, but that is irrelevant
I would want to trade places with a male, but only for a day or two. I would want to see if I am eight in saying that women have it easier. I also would just want to see what it is like…pure curiosity.
In response to Myra BD’s post earlier, I have to disagree a little. You make some valid points, but the execution of these points is just a little strong. It IS someone’s blog response so naturally, they ARE going to talk about THEIR experiences. You don’t have to say that you don’t care about them and their experiences- they’re just answering the question! (Although they were being just a little stereotypical) In the end of your response also, you were being so bitter about the world! TRUST ME people have so much more to “hate” the world for than you…but (I don’t hate it I <3 the world).
Part of living is experiencing the world as you, a woman as a woman and a man as a man. Each has its positives and negatives, like anything in life. Women and men both experience it in their own unique ways. Life wouldn’t be as interesting if we were all the same, or at least I don’t think it would be. When I first read the question, the first time of many times, I thought that automatically guys had it definitely easier off then girls. For one, every month girls have to deal with the dreaded period, which brings along the always great cramps, headaches, moodiness (that my boyfriend loves so much), and just over all emotion attack. Also girls have to deal with their hair being perfect, clothes being in style, and make up covering slight imperfections that seem to pop up always around picture day. I hate to admit it, but I think in our society today image is very important. Our world has become so vain and obsessed with image that it is a pressure on girls and woman, and it is honestly a shame that it has come to that. I admit I catch myself like seeing what other girls are wearing, and occasionally being quick to judge them based on their appearance, and reflecting on that makes me realize what a horrible habit that is. I admire those girls who defy the normal and wear what they want to wear, and don’t give a crap what anyone thinks. I wish I could be like that, but find myself sometimes focusing too much on what others think. These pressures from societies to young girls and teens to look good, be skinny, and conform to the overall group who is considered “cool” or “hot”, has done much damage to the confidence of these girls. Girls are dying of anorexia and bulimia just to be society’s image of a “perfect” girl. It just makes me sick! I just wish every girl could just be there own person and not worry about what colors are in and what the latest trend was, but sadly I believe our society has indeed become way too materialistic. I also found to be a problem among girls is the whole boyfriend issue. So many girls feel that they need a boyfriend to be confident in themselves. I think that girls, and women for that matter, just need to be happy with who they are and should feel like no one can make them feel inferior.
Boys, I believe, face problems that are different from girls, but could also have the same kind of pressures. Boys are the ones who usually have to ask the girl out either on a date or something like prom and have to face sometimes rejection, which can be pretty painful. Even when they are men they have to be the ones who propose and are usually the ones, well traditionally who bring home the major source of income, though that is quickly changing in today’s society. In high school, Boys are very competitive with one another from my experience with them, and the “cool” guys are school are usually the ones who are the all-star athletes and have all the girls falling for them. But I think that overall guys do not have as much problem with fitting in. Usually through humor, athletic ability, good looks, and/or just being out going guys seem to find friends easier and fit in more quickly than girls. They seem to have ignorance of caring about what people think about them. Guys usually wear whatever they feel like to school, and sometimes there own little style like wearing shorts and high socks becomes the cool thing to do. I kinda envy that about guys, they are usually so carefree and it just seems to come easier for guys.
I agree with Vikkie, I definitely would want to trade places with a guy to get inside his head. I would want to see what a guy’s opinion is on certain issues, whether or not they like the typical, conformist girl or an eccentric girl. I would want to see how they think and reason because honestly it blows my mind. Some things guys try to reason with are completely not logical at all. I wouldn’t want to be a guy longer than a day though. I just think that being a girl just definitely is too much fun.
In response to Eva, I really admire your confidence in yourself, because sometimes I seem to lack it. Also, I really agree with the whole glass-ceiling thing. I believe that woman should not be limited just because they are females. They should have the same chance to do things as men and should be able to achieve their dreams. I also would like to pursue broadcasting and in that field woman do have as much as a chance in making it as men, which is totally great. Also women in science and math fields are in greater demand, usually that is considered in the past a man’s profession, but women are rising to the top and, differently from the past considered a man’s equal.
Megan S "I would DEFINITELY ABSOLIVELY trade places with a guy. I would want to know what goes on in their heads, and if they seriously hear themselves when they talk! Seriously, sometimes I really don’t think they realize. I’d want to know if they share lockers and change with each other in the locker rooms like the girls do. I would want to know how it’s like just to wear boxers and baggy jeans. OH. I would also like to figure out how the heck they can go an entire day with their pants around their knees! That’s some crazy skills. I’d want to know how guys will eat the grossest things JUST because they were dared to. Lastly, I would like to feel how it’s like to be addicted to WOW. (cough matt capone cough cough =))"
Ok, I saw that as I was looking through recent comments and I feel the need to address it.
1. Guys will share lockers if one doesn't have a lock, as well as change while talking, but they won't look at each other until they're each fully clothed.
2. This would be different depending on whether you've switched genders or not. That would probably make a new difference in your body more noticable if you were a guy, and therefore be uncomfortable.
3. I wish I knew. I somehow lost 30 pounds all at once at some point last year without noticing, and all of a sudden I needed a belt every day. If I could naturally keep the pants at the knees, it'd be rather convenient.
4. I've seen girls do that. It's all a matter of desensitization.
5.I don't know HOW you think WoW is a guy thing. My own MOTHER had 3 level 60s on WoW before you could even GET to level 70. Three of them! It takes months to get a character to level 60. She was playing it constantly, including during a period of several months during which she was unemployed.
Miss Jenn--
Yeah I do most of the time too, but even though I have to admit that I do like to dress to impress or whatever, I always just love fashion and matching and everything that goes along with it. It's fun to me. =)
"It actually frustrates me sometimes when girls just cry when they don’t know what to do. Have some backbone, ladies. No offense at all, but that’s a prominent reason as to why we are viewed as the ‘weaker’ sex."
-Hayley Adams
I don't think that crying is a reason behind why women are viewed as weaker then men. As a personal fan of tears, I think that they show strength. They show that you are comfortable enough to let your emotions out. Crying releases stress for some people, like myself, and it doesn't mean that women are weak. We all have different ways of dealing with things. I can see why people form this idea, but it's a misconception. A girl that can cry and open up is someone who has backbone. I may not be the toughest chick out there, but I'm proud that I show my emotions and share my feelings. These qualities separate women from men, and they are nothing to be ashamed of.
From the time their born, boys and girls are treated differently. Think of a set of twins. One boy and one girl. At the hospital, they’ll both be swaddled up in separate blankets. The boy in a blue blanket and the girl in a pink. Their nurseries, clothing, and playmates will all be decided by gender. The little girl’s pink bedroom will be stocked with pretty dresses and delicate playthings. The boy’s room will be done in the theme of Thomas the Tank Engine and his parents will pack the toy chest with GI Joes and toy racecars. The girl will be signed up for ballet and the boy, peewee football. When they grow up, they’ll both marry and have children. The boy will become the breadwinner for his family, but the girl will most likely will be a homemaker. She’ll cook, clean and raise children. Even if she does have a job outside the home, it will be considered secondary to her husbands. It’s hard to believe but these two children, who share 95% of the same DNA and were born seconds apart, will, side-by-side, experience life completely different from the other.
Occasionally there are exceptions though. Take me, for example. When I was growing up, I had a million Barbies and a huge box of dress up clothes. I held American Girl Doll/Beanie Baby tea parties. Now all this seems pretty typical, but one of the things I’ll never forget was my Tonka Trucks computer game. The game had fire trucks, police cars, dump trucks, etc. I absolutely loved this game. It was amazing. My mom tried to give the game away to my cousins, who were boys, but I threw a huge fit and continued to play in Tonka Land.
I believe boys and girls are born the same, but environment, culture, and society cause the differences. How else would tomboys exist? Someone at some point showed them how to climb a tree or throw a football. Society and culture created theses differences
I think boys have had it easier. Since childhood, boys have been roughhousing, wrestling, and making all sorts of racket. They’ve usually gotten away with this thanks to the phrase, “boys will be boys.” Girls are expected to sit nice and be quiet while boys run screaming the table. Even now, in high school, I see that girls have it tougher. For example, in soccer, whenever it’s windy or there has been a lack of rain, I dread practice. The soccer field is a gigantic dustbowl. There is dirt in the air, your eyes, and lungs; after practice, I literally spit dirt; but because of a lack of sprinklers, and a lack of funding for the sprinklers, there is no end in sight. I usually wouldn’t complain but I find it unfair that the football stadium has a new scoreboard and sound system, especially when there was supposidly no funding left.
Leonor-
I definitely agree with you on the switching places part. I love being a girl. I think your right; we’re all born as guys and girls for a reason.
It has been to both our misfortune and sense in the past that men and women have significant difference.
These different experiences started way back when men and women first began to walk earth. In the basics of what happened, men obviously over powered women physically and controlled what women done. They did use this strength to hunt and fight in battle, but that was about all men had to be concerned about. Women had to run the household, maintain the crops, and before the most horrible task of them all: take care of the children. From this came a few good things and a few bad things. Men became more focused on completing and felt responsible to be the ones to take of the group, but they also accessed themselves as the ones who controlled. Women became more caring, better at multi-tasking, and could outwit men. However, they also were pushed around like dogs good for nothing accept sex and forced labor. Is this stereotype always true? No, I never said it was a hundred percent true or that there are not exceptions to it. However, a general audience could agree on this: women tend to be gentler then men, probably because of child care.
With this, women's experiences have always differed from that of mens. For one, women always lived under the control of men. They had to live in the shadows of the men who have for centuries completely controlled the economy, diplomacy,and politics of every nation and culture. Their were rarely stories of great women leaders or even business owners in ancient times. Even in America, the country with the most respect and tolerance for women, fails to fully have women incorporated in society. Even today am majority of control is secured to men worldwide. The best example is probably in Their Eyes Were Watching God. You see their plain and simple how Jody easily puts down Janie has being any significance to the towns political system. It's been disgraceful how men have belittled women in the past. Fortunately, women have made big strives in the last couple centuries. They can now hold power in most countries and gained rights. This battle still continues today and will continue for quite some time.
A good thing that did come out of everything is women's approach on most things. Men have a tendency to be more “rah rah rah destroy, big, whatever, rah!” I have to respect womens approach on things. It tends to carry more emotion and even a more intellectual thought on life and what it has to bring. I am almost certain from this that men are stupider then women just because of our general attitudes towards life. The compassion brought with what most women think is much more awesome then most men can think. Now is that questioning the appreciation of being a man? By no means is that the case. What men bring in compassion and brilliance to the world is just as great as what women bring, they are only in a different sense of things.
I think what I believe is probably influenced from my experience at home. My mom has always been the one to take care of the food and the house in general. She really is the primary person who takes care of my brother as far as resources go. MY dad has always been the one to be working or doing work that one may consider “manly.” The general heir of the house has been though my mom has done lots of dirty work, dad always been in a little more control. That is not to say my home is some intolerant, third world country. My mom and dad have never really had the issue of control or someone overpowering someone else. My mom does work full time and my dad does help around the house, so its not totally separated. However, it is obvious some sexist differences among my parents.
Men have it much easier then women do. Women are still fighting for their rights that men still hold back from them. What is a shock to some, sexism is still a giant factor that haunts American culture. Discrimination and downgrading against women happens every day, from people making sexist comments in a working environment to womens inability to choose whether they want to have their baby or not. Some of this may be almost necessary to cultures. For example, women are not permitted to be in a combat-oriented women for a number of reasons. It's been proven that men are much better fit to handle a combat zone then women. Along with a few examples of American women being raped as a result of being permitted in these units, this would only make sense. However, much harsh treatment of women still occurs and will continue for many years.
Personally I wouldn't like to trade places with a girl. I have enough to worry about in life, let alone being a women and having what I think is more responsibility in life. I'm glad to be where I am along with many other people in this world. Women do have tons of courage for what they go through and should be respected in any manner as much as men. Our minds are so close yet so far apart; even with the whole idea or equality, men and women will continue to have different experiences throughout eternity.
By the way, if you couldn't tell, this blog was extremely hard for me to write!
Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by time. That is the life of MEN.
Now women forget all the things they don’t want to remember and they remember everything they don’t want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.
Taking the above passage in regards to gender Hurston presents the idea that men wait for their dreams to land upon the shore and women act with accords to their dreams, traveling great distances and going to phenomenal effort to get what they want.
On the inherent differences between men and women, I’d have to say that, yes there are a few – mostly physical and others mostly due to physical traits. The female population tends to be more nurturing and have a more “emotional” side that lends itself to tears of happiness, fear, and sorrow. Both of these contribute to the continuation of Homo sapiens by making child rearing easier. The nurturing – simple the more you lend yourself to children they more you want to have them. The emotions bring you closer to other human beings, children or not.
At the same time these inherent differences seem unnecessary at this point. Women are no longer huddled in caves, the only possible caregivers for their offspring, for “parenting-challenged” guardians there is daycare and camps to send your child to as well as books and classes for the parents. We have seen a woman nearly achieve the nomination for president, and we have seen women give up their jobs to care for their children. Men have raised families with success and they have made dinner for their wives.
The differences, if you truly consider them differences, make little impact on the way the world operates. Women still have every ability that men do and men have every capability that women do (except pregnancy and menstruation [who really wants that anyway?!]). Everyone has views of who should do what and why that are put into place by their families when they are young. In my family my father works and makes the majority of the income for the family and my mother works as well but she has a less solid work relationship that has been more… fluid than my fathers. She has had five jobs that I can remember, and I’m probably missing some. She makes dinner, and takes care of making sure everything is ready for the next day and checks that the kids have done their homework. This has biased my viewpoint on gender relations in the favor of men as a provider and women as caregivers. At the same time, when I was young I had Au Pairs that came from other countries for a year to care for me and my brother. This has created a slot for “caregiver” in a category of “provider” in my mind. I have the greatest respect for all of the people who do what they love and need to do with their lives. I dream that one day we will see all people happy with what they do to fill their day – but it is the pursuit of happiness that is unalienable, not actual happiness.
Easier, what is that? Who has it easier, the man struggling to provide for his family in hard economic times? Or the mother with 3 children to raise and no idea how? Or maybe the young professional competing in the workplace for their jobs? There is no easier purely on gender purposes. Both males and females struggle with the harsh criteria set up by the cold, stony-faced taskmasters of their own peers and the general population. Every individual is fighting their own war against their own invisible enemies and triumph comes as does despair. The connections we make with the others around us create allies and/or yet more pitfalls, but this applies to all. “Easy” was perhaps the wrong word, yet I cannot find the correct word. Perhaps there needs to be no words.
Being a female is something I cherish and abhor at the same time. With curiosity, I would like to possess a Y-chromosome. I wonder… what is it like to skip the 28-day cycle?... what is it like to see things as I don’t? … what do you think while looking at the same things I do? … how does it feel to walk, run, swim, ride a bike? … do you hear better than I do? … At the same time I deal with the cycle; I see many things myself; I create my own thoughts; I walk, run, swim, and ride my bike myself; I hear my own music and listen to the symphony of life myself.
Out of fear of the unknown, I would most likely not trade places… but you never know… I could be close to that time of the month.
- Ali B
Caitlinnn: "Even now, in high school, I see that girls have it tougher. For example, in soccer, whenever it’s windy or there has been a lack of rain, I dread practice. The soccer field is a gigantic dustbowl. There is dirt in the air, your eyes, and lungs; after practice, I literally spit dirt; but because of a lack of sprinklers, and a lack of funding for the sprinklers, there is no end in sight. I usually wouldn’t complain but I find it unfair that the football stadium has a new scoreboard and sound system, especially when there was supposidly no funding left."
Wait...doesn't the boys soccer team play on the same fields as you guys do? How does that prove that a girl's life is tougher??
In response to Alice:
I’m not trying to bring you down or cause any class melee over which sex is better, complete with wizards and gladiators. I feel as if you are just putting the good things out of mind when you are so sure that men have it so much better than women. Testosterone in a male is like a dog tied to a tree. Some stupid kid will think it’s funny to ride around the tree just out of reach of the dog. Once the dog comes charging out to greet the kid, SNAP, the rope pulls tight. In this frustration the dog runs around the tree, unknowingly making it worse, until the dog is whining because it is wrapped all the way around a tree. Now the barking dog is the devil because everyone in the neighborhood is trying to sleep. I have associated with many different types of women. Perhaps fragile is not the right word, but women are the way they are for a reason. All the varied traits are what make the world go round.
In response to Jen:
I agree with you 100 percent. The stereotypes in society are all too rigid. These drastic stereotypes are changing though. Soon enough no sexual bias will exist. After thousands of years living with each other it’s a little strange and sad that we all just can’t get along.
Again, I think that women's equality is real now. I'm glad that Morgan C liked the bit about the glass ceiling not really inhibiting us as much now. Women still aren't quite equal, but the mindset that keeps us lower is dying out. Thank God.
Matthew. As you can see now, our junior class is run by girls. At the meeting today, there was one guy and six girls. The vice president, who is a guy, didn’t show up. This just proves that girls are more responsible. When they want something, they will work their butt off to get it. And now let’s get to the emotion factor. Girl’s emotions are not a hindrance to their work. If anything, it will add to their success. Guys have this shield up, where they can’t sympathize with anyone. But a girl’s emotions allow them to connect with their audience, feel their pain, and see what society sees. The lower class in America is continuing to grow. If a guy went up to a single mother/father, saw their living conditions, and how much in need they were in, I am sure they would be sad, but they wouldn’t go that extra step. Women would help that family just like the guy, but she would also offer comfort that a guy can’t. As many of us feel, it is much easier to open up to. Hillary Clinton is one of the smartest women. Women cry, it’s a way of our life. But Hillary Clinton is smart enough to know that you don’t cry in front of America if you are the President.
Devon- I love you.
“As a personal fan of tears, I think that they show strength. They show that you are comfortable enough to let your emotions out. Crying releases stress for some people, like myself, and it doesn't mean that women are weak.”
Amen. Men are just too afraid to let other guys know that they are upset, because everyone knows if you saw a guy crying, you would make fun of them. And I don’t care what you say Matt, I will never think of my emotions as an obstacle, rather I will make it apart of me. And just so you know, every time I see you, I will cry, just to get you angry. :)
Molly, I thought I was done for tonight, but I have to react to your comment that we 'have a shield up that keeps us from sympathizing to anyone.' (Yes, I'm paraphrasing. Whatevs.) I wanna say we do sympathize. We feel for others just as much as our female counterparts. The only difference is that we don't let it show unless we know exactly what we want to say. Being quieter about our feelings makes it easier to be listened to when we do speak up. When I hear a girl whine about her feelings, I wait to see if she's still distraught in a day, maybe even a few hours. Why? There's too much to know what is really important in the long run. Guys, when they confide in anyone, means it has been eating away at them for a while. Please don't mistake quiet emotion for a lack of it. That is all.
Mol- It's nice to know I'm not crazy. I like being emotional, and I too feel that it is part of being a woman, and that it should be embraced. Thanks for your agreement. :)
"The nurturing – simple the more you lend yourself to children they more you want to have them. The emotions bring you closer to other human beings, children or not."
Alison, I couldn't agree more on this statement. I believe child care to be the single biggest factor in our diffrences. Most men's emotional range probably wouldn't be as far as sex and money if they were the oens who always took care of the children. Look at the Amazons. Their women took on that dominate role and the men were the ones who took on the role of caring for children. This had a major eefect on that whole culture that made a so significant. What is acquired from a child can not be acquired anywhere else.
"When I hear a girl whine about her feelings, I wait to see if she's still distraught in a day, maybe even a few hours. Why?"
-Daniel Peterson
WHY? BECAUSE WE CAN'T HELP IT! Some girls really can't help the emotions. For real. Just as some guys can't show emotions, some girls can't hide them. Accept it.
There is no doubt in my mind that men and women have different view points on just about everything. I’m sure that almost everyone will agree that if you ask a boy and a girl the same exact set of questions about friends, goals, school, personal appearance, relationships, sex, etc.., a majority of the girls’ answers will collectively be more elaborate, emotional, thoughtful, and people pleasing to hear about, while the boys’ responses will be more nonspecific, shorter, and to the point (this goes for the common teenage male and female. I really don’t think anyone in this blog fits into this categorization). Why is this? This is how we have been socially bred. Fathers play catch with their boys on the front lawn, hardly speaking of anything but sports, while mothers are inside teaching their daughters to make heart-shaped cakes for their special crush with their Easy Bake Oven. It’s just how society has decided to cope with the physical differences of males and females. “If they look different, they must act different” is what I suppose has been the mentality over the years. And why not? My feelings on this topic are probably controversial considering my being a girl and all (don’t hate me!). I know that most women are gung-ho about women’s rights and getting to be called “equals” (even some people in this blog. I’m definitely not saying they are wrong about feeling this way. This is just my opinion formed from sixteen years of observation, and what do I know anyway?). I don’t think that men and women are equal, period, with no if’s and’s or but’s. That’s just not how it works. As the Postal Service song goes, “I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the clay.” The fact that our differences are what bring us together (not even sexually). We need each others’ differences to create a whole idea, productive family, etc. We shouldn’t be expected to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making dinner when the men come home from a hard day’s work, but there are deffinitly qualities within both sexes that make them part of a family and cohesive team. Men and women have not been considered equals because of many reasons. Someone will always fight for dominance. Because of men’s physical attributes, I’m guessing that’s how we became the subservient sex in the past. They won the fight because of their physical strength. Violence speaks (sadly). Now, we are not so tolerant of beating wives or talking down, but I digress. Another thing that really makes us different is what we find tolerable. Sweaty disgusting wrestling matches, rolling around in the dirt with grass stains on every inch of the body, and not showering for God knows how long, all seem to be part of the guy code. Boys can do all this and be considered manly, all the while feeding into the stereotype of fragile, sweet girls when they say girls don’t poop (they don’t but I’m just saying…!) Girls’ disgusting is not having a pedicure or sweating in gym class before a class with their crush. This difference is just fundamental (of course there are exceptions both ways).
Each sex has their disadvantages. As many of my fellow females have stated previously, there’s that brilliant time of the month where we are punished emotionally and physically for not becoming pregnant like our bodies want us to be. Month after month after month throughout most of our lives our bodies fight against us. And then when we finally do get prego, we have the fun adventure called child birth to deal with. We are also more emotional. There really is no fighting this. I know from my experience that emotions and crying comes on from pretty much any type of trigger. Anger, sadness, frustration, loneliness, happiness! You name it, I’ve cried because of it. I’m not saying that women are always the lesser sex because of this. That’s certainly not true in this day and age. We overcome it in many ways and are stronger as a sex because of it. On the other hand, men have their downfall as well. They have to work by the sweat of their brow and are usually the central providers in a family. Although, this is not always the case. There are definitely women out there who have been either forced to wear the pants because of different reasons or have ripped them off of their husband just because they decided that THEY were going to go to work while HE stays home with the children. Because of this, I think women have the harder time. Men and women are becoming more and more equal in the workplace and dealing with the family’s income. I hardly hear of men taking on the household duties, or even splitting them, once their wives decide to actually “help out” by getting a full time job or whatever it may be. Women are looked down upon for being home makers. I can’t stand this assessment because I see my own mother do things in the house and wonder how much a man would have to pay someone to do EVERYTHING a woman does for the house, family, and children among other things. Men get to go off to work and not think about their home life because they know the woman is taking care of everything AND expects a hot meal on the table. I hardly find this fair.
I would love to be a boy for a little while. I haven’t addressed the whole getting-ready-to-go-out thing. It definitely seems true that they spend less time worrying about getting dressed and doing their hair. But being a boy myself would give me true evidence that this is so. Maybe they just have no sense of style and ARE really trying.. (Doubt it!) And I would like to know what they think on a moment to moment status. I would love to have an experience like Mel Gibson in What Women Want (a favorite of mine). I would definitely have more respect for boys if my assumptions of them turned out to be false.
Yea Molly, I'm sorry but the shield thing was kind of a smack in the face. I have to agree with Dan on this one in his response to you. He pretty much nailed it on the head ;}
But Hillary Clinton is smart enough to know that you don’t cry in front of America if you are the President.
Well molly, that is a completely contradictory statement. But besides that you said two things i don't agree with. First off don't use Jon Scheaffer as the staple of mans reliability (sorry jon!). and second you put too much faith in emotion when it will only get you in trouble especially in politics. In a leadership position what is required is a cool and collective mentality, not an the emotional equivalent of nitroglycerin!
Ha, ha.
A discussion where I, finally have the leg up.
Is this because I've studied the topic extensively? In all honesty, no. Is it because I live a secret double life as a member of the Y-chromosome tribe? Hell no (no offense, guys, but... eew). Though most of you probably live with a member of the opposite sex (mom, dad, siblings) and some of you are probably really close to those guys or girls... I can do you one better.
Have you ever shared a womb with the opposite sex? Slept in the same cradle? Grown up together? Spent almost every single moment for a good 5 years and nine months, and much of the time in years to come, with a member of the opposite sex?
If you don't have a twin brother (or sister) like I do, than the answer is no. So I think most of you guys will agree when I say I have a unique point of view on this subject.
I do think that men and women view the world differently, but I do not think that these differing views are inherent in the sexes but rather are a product of society.
Boys who are not "tough" ARE outcast by many of their peers. There ARE girls that ridicule others for not having the "right" clothes, or for looking or acting differently. We're trained from early childhood that girls do one thing and boys do another. A guy who asserts himself to get ahead in life is "assertive" and a girl who does the same is a "stone-cold bitch". Even in early childhood, whem my brother would put spiders in my hair (no lie, he really did this) or tease me, he was "just beong a boy", but when I would play pranks on Ben or tease him, I would get in trouble; my punishment was time out instead of an admonishing smile. My brother would stack firewood while I was expected to help out in the kitchen. Fortunately, I used all my influence over my dad (I have him wrapped around my finger) to end this at an early age. The chores are more equal now, though Ben never does his fair share no matter what the chore... but that's more a Ben thing than a gender thing. The point is that at an early age, and starting in the home, the expectations were still there. Me and my brother, we started off the same, except the different genders. We played the same sports and did the same things and played all sorts of little-kid games together. But then came kindergarten and school, and with it that ultimate of all gender seperators; cooties. Ben was informed that all girls were born with a horrible disease called "cooties", and that he continued to hang out with me during school hours, he would catch this dreadful affliction in a strain so intense that no cootie shot could save him.
And so, with the dual threat of alienation and deadly disease, the gender gap was cemented, not through any natural-born difference between me and my twin, but through the interference of society.
When I was young, it seemed to me that guys had it way easier than girls. They got to play in the mud, play tough contact sports, build things instead of cleaning them, and the Great Outdoors was their toilet. What wasn't to like?
It still feels a little that way to me. Boys just seem to have more freedom in general (at least according to the "laws" of society) while girls are held to a stricter standard. If I had a friggin' dollar for every time I was told by my female relatives that something I did wasn't "ladylike" or to behave more like a "young lady" or to "let a guy come to you... men are the hunters, and women are the gatherers, and they enjoy the thrill of the chase." Thank God, though, I think these ideas are finally starting to die out. Women really are making progress in what still, to me, feels like a mans' world. And for now, it's not exactly a wise idea to tell my grandmother to be more feminist, or to remind my super-christian aunt that in ancient Greece they worshipped Artemis the HUNTRESS, not hunter. And by the way, isn't the idea of anybody, guy or girl, hunting and chasing the objects of their affections just a little stalker sounding? Just throwing that one out there.
No, no, and HELL no I would never want to be a guy. I mean I'm a girl, and no matter what the connotations or denotations (yay, vocab words!) of girl might be. It's just who I am, and I wouldn't change it any more than I would change my eye color or my hight. It's just me. And I sure do love Sarah Crane (no that is not conceited, just confident). Also, for all their freedoms, their is no doubt that guys are physically the weaker sex, and I can prove this in one word; childbirth. There is no way ANY of the guys I know would be able to do that. So becoming a guy would be like trading down.
In response to Johnny Quest: Yes, I would like intimacy (if you mean it in a true love sort of way), and it actually does sound like something I could spend my life searching for. However, I strongly believe that this fact is a reflection on me (and my way too many viewings and readings of The Princess Bride) and not at all true for my gender in particular, just like the "Sex and money" thing does not apply to all males.
Alice: only like 1% of women and girls I meet have ever shown manipulative tendencies. And it's a rare guy who actually WANTS to work hard to succeed. Much better to have success fall into one's lap, for some men and women (but not all). Also, I feel you on the romance novel front, but am noticing a distinct trend towards strong female leads, and almost all the books I read (and I read A LOT of books) have strong women, no matter waht their genre. You're just not looking in the right places.
Also, most girls enjoy checking out cute guys just as much as guys check out cute girls. Also, I know from living with Ben that plenty of guys try just as hard, if not more, than girls do to appear attractive. They just do it in different ways.
To Matt: I don't care how typically "girl" this sounds, but it's not science stuff that creates the gender gap, okay? It's society. I scorn your scientific mombo jumbo.
To Sergei: Are you sure you don't want to change genders? Being female would make The Green Dress so much easier.
Ashley, when you wrote this:
For example, today as I was walking out to the buses, I watched a girl in front of me stare at her reflection in one of the hallways that has windows on both sides. She watched her reflection as she moved down the hallway; she was moving forward, but her head remained looking to her right where she could see her reflection. What got my attention was the fact that when I looked at her reflection, she didn’t seem satisfied. Earlier today, it came to my attention that the minute most girls walk into the gym locker room they take a quick look at themselves in the mirror. In the bathrooms, some girls will often stand in front of the mirror and fix their hair or make-up until they feel fully contented with their look. The truth is though, that I am guilty of this behavior as well.
it struck a cord because I've noticed this too! I also do this but, the thing that i find sad is the shocking number of people who are unsatisfied with their images. This offends me, yet with this I find that I am offending myself, again.
Janiru-
I find women to be a bit more pessimistic and cynical then men. A guy will jump on the gun without any hesitation whatsoever, giving the idea at hand perhaps 5 seconds of thought. Girls will mull the consequences, consider every other possible branch of option, and take an extremely long time going over what could go wrong…
I just want to let you know that i am that person. When I was younger I never wanted to play manhunt, so I always ended up being the jail keeper and sitting on the step.
-- Ali B
My dearest Dan. We're friends. All those lovely CCD classes together. I think you're a great kid. And my anger- not really aimed at you. I just find a lot of guys out there don't understand the purpose behind crying. So it makes me angry. Not at you, at the fact that most guys don't understand it, and that they even make fun of girls for it, like it's some kind of joke? So yeah, it's just something that bothers me. You don't bother me :)
Hey Devon. How ya doin? I do understand. When I was little, most of my friends were girls, and I kept a lot of them to this day. I will listen, and offer what advice I can if they decide to confide in me. But, to be honest, it's hard to tell what's really serious and what's not so serious. Things that would seem a small deal can blow up into a big thing. It takes time to figure out the seriousness of a situation with girls. That's all I meant. No anger!
Men and Women as individuals see the world differently and I believe that as individuals their sex may affect how they see the world. From the time I was little my dad has always told me “men are pigs.” I have had experiences where I have seen even the men that you wouldn’t expect it from to be pigs. I think it’s inappropriate when I’m with my brother and his friends and they see a pretty girl and say things like “Man she’s hot” or “Man the things I would do to that.” Every man and women as an individual has their own perspective on how they see the world, whether gender affects their experience is the real question? I can honestly say that men and testosterone make them totally different people as well as women with hormones. I really didn’t want to stereotype but I guess I’m on that path. I think that everyone is entitled to the way that they experience the world but that their gender has a slight impact of their experiences. Growing up with two brothers I always wanted to play with the coolest action figures instead of the dozens of Barbie dolls that were in my closet. As teenagers girls experience more drama in those great years….. Pause not! than a boy would in their entire life.
Men and Women all have separate experiences in the world from the time that they born. Society has set a standard that little boys should be playing with trucks etc. and little girls should be playing with Barbie dolls etc. Steriotypicaly, men are considered to be the providers in the families while the women are the care takers. That view has changed a bit but the experiences that men face and women face are still different. I think that while women have changed the stereotype that there is still a lot of work to be done for women to be on the same level as men. Many of my opinions are based on the news, family, and conversations that I have heard.
Neither race has it easy! As many girls have said in this blog, that one time of the month deal is pretty rough. Every pregnant woman that I have ever spoken tells me that while being pregnant can suck it is the most amazing experience of their life. Now that is something that men would not be able to understand. Both genders have ups and downs but it is what it is.
I think that if I could trade gender for a little bit to get a better insight on how men see the world it would help my opinions as well as confidence. To see what guys think when a girl walks in the room or how they experience the world, or just a day. I also think its awesome how guys can wear loose shirts everyday of the year! Yes, I know that I could do that and it would be more of me. The reason why I don’t is because walking down the hallway you see girls all dressed up and it makes me feel like crap wearing sweats and a baggy shirt.
Wow... That was weird timing. But I do understand where you're coming from. I'm not as heartless as I try to come across. It's just a good way to find the truth.
"Why is this? This is how we have been socially bred. Fathers play catch with their boys on the front lawn, hardly speaking of anything but sports, while mothers are inside teaching their daughters to make heart-shaped cakes for their special crush with their Easy Bake Oven. It’s just how society has decided to cope with the physical differences of males and females." -Tarah
I think it's another oppurtunity to add we ahve just been set in this routine of male and female for so long, it's hard to simply wash away everything. Humans typically hate major change, so this only shows how long this process can take.
Also, I like that Tarah adds "If they look different, they must act different” is what I suppose has been the mentality over the years."
I think this can be expanded to lust and sexual appeal as another factor which I myself forgot to mention.
"Peeing in a urinal would be challenging,"
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This was the highlight of your paper! Only you would think like that. But hey, you do like your challenges. I can just see britt one day. She like looks into an empty boys bathroom, looks around to see if anyone's there, and...goes to "challenge" herself! AHAHAHAHAHA! =) (On a serius note: Yes, it would be challenging.)
Wow, that was weird timing! I understand where you're coming from as well. I think it's nice that you try to help and give advice to your girl friends. I wish more guys were sensitive.
Of course there are several characteristics which are infamously known as our ‘woman’ and ‘man’ stereotypes, the underlying question is would women and men be acting in these manners if they didn’t have these stereotypes to live up to? Even further than this, would men and women behave the way they do if their mothers, fathers, and ancestors hadn’t created this pattern for many, many generations?
In my experience men and women each have the same heart, same eyes, and same motivations. We each get out of bed every morning, and view the same day. Instead of what differences we see in the world, the problem men and women set their sights on is their place compared to their fellow human beings, whether the opposite sex or not. When it comes to males, it’s pretty obvious that they’re in competition with other males. This can be through materialism, masculinity, or popularity. When it comes to females, although we may all at times have our temper tantrums, we generally stick together as BIFFS or SISTERS, who always have each other’s back because we understand the pain we go through when we don’t look out for each other. And yes, by pain I mean emotion and sentimental feelings that girls would rather cry about, than ‘man up’ and take the guy approach of fighting. Now when it comes to guys and girls, girls are constantly looking for approval in a way. Setting time aside an extra hour or so when getting ready to go out proves this, as well as two more things: girls want special attention from men, and that girls are in competition with their fellow females. And I think that this is where girls get their inferior sense from, and in contrast, where guys get their superiority from. Girls put on this mask of not only make-up, but different mindsets when around men, and men take advantage of this and act superior to girls. This entire concept of guy/girl encounters could actually explain a lot, such as the submissiveness of women, the assertiveness of men, and the stereotype these facts together have generated in society.
Being blessed with the relationships I have and have had in the past, allows me to analyze these daily interactions of men and women. I can really say that weighing my value up against a male’s value has close to never hindered anything I’ve come up against in life. In the bigger picture I can definitely see how globally, sex has created a setback in our world whether through the women oppressed in the Middle East, or the fact that many political leaders get attention because of their gender. But seeing how much gender can alter a person’s view, and then comparing that view to my life, where it has really never came up, allows me to see how unbiased the world is around me.
I would say that men have it easier because no matter the situation, they automatically get recognition over a woman. Guys usually get the attention that the girls are trying to get from their teachers, coaches, and bosses. But besides this ‘leadership sense’ that is found in these boys by their teachers and coaches, I believe both sexes feel the pressure to succeed and that true success only comes out of how hard we decide to push ourselves regardless of our gender.
I would trade positions with a guy on the drop of a dime and would pay to know what guys are thinking when they open their mouths. What does it really mean when you say you fell asleep and 7 o’clock on a Saturday night? And what were you really expecting to do when you went there? Although I would like to briefly note the lines that guys feed girls, it would be a life not worth living because guys can only be clever for so long. Although it would probably be fun to have the appetite of a man, I probably am very close to it anyways, so in general trading places with a male would be a short-lived experience. Overall I believe that men and women have gotten where they are today because they defied stereotypes and have accomplished more than what anyone would have regarded them to do.
In response to Brittany G:
“Peeing in a urinal would be challenging, and at lunch I would eat so much food! But most of all I would want to sit in class and flex my gigantic muscles, and look at them all day. =)”
I think that is too funny! By the way, I am right there with you on the eating as much food as lunch as you want.
“Really? I know that I look like a scum bag, but seriously I don’t give a crap.”
After about the first 2 weeks I give up on how I look as well as about half the other girls in the school and honestly I want to be comfortable if I’m going to be sitting in a chair for the majority of my day. You are soo true about the girls soccer team statement and I know that I do not play soccer I still think that the field situation is ridiculous. I mean has anyone ever really seen the “JV” field it's horrendous compared too the “Varsity” field. Anyways… Good points!
Ok, that was only my opinion on the shield comment. But I also think that what I said is how guys are perceived to girls. Many girls will say that guys don’t show emotion, not just me.
Matt, emotion will not only get you in trouble! Emotion is something that I respect, and many people do. Saying that showing your emotions only causes problems is an assumption. Because there are always those people that keep their emotions inside, and one day, they explode. (Not literally.) But with the presidency issue, you can’t run the country without any emotion. I guarantee you there are days when President Bush has cried. An emotionless president will not care for the greater good of the people; they will not delve into what people are feeling. Everyone has emotions, and crying isn’t the only one. But you can’t live your life without showing any emotion, or you would be those weird robot things in WALL-E.
You would hate on Snow White.
=)
practically EVERY disney princess is naive and unrealistic.
except mulan. She's the only strong woman that is portrayed by a disney princess. I don't think she is even a real princess, just like Chinese Royalty. I wish I could be an awesome crime fighter.
KELLY
“Sure, you have to be the ones to ask us out and make the first move and eventually propose, but the thing is boys get to pick who they want to ask out while girls have to wait to be picked. Why do we wait? Who knows? This process has become so normal and routine to most of us that it feels as if it was coded into our DNA.”
I definitely love what you said. Men always complain about how they are the ones that have to work up the nerve and ask us out, but when you really think about it, it’s just as nerve-wracking to have to wait around hoping that someone will find you attractive enough to give you a chance. I hate to be so shallow and say “attractive,” but it’s the truth. The media, men’s magazines, and so on all portray what men want (or at least they are supposed to right?), and that’s not what most women are capable of attaining. This is why we primp and straighten and curl like there’s no tomorrow. We have such standards to rise up to, so thanks a lot! But, boo to us women for giving in. It’s a double-edged sward.
CARLY
“However, there are different sports levels for a reason. Girls’ varsity is just as competitive and trained with discipline and hard work just like a boy’s varsity team. So, for boys to be trashing the girls’ sports teams and saying that we don’t train hard enough, think a little and wait until the end of the season and then look at the records.”
I (being such an extreme athlete and all) really never thought about athleticism like you just said. Women use their bodies to the best of their abilities like men do, and you’re right. That’s what different classifications of skill level are for. I think we all need to stop comparing ourselves with each other and concentrate on the games. If men and women stopped comparing physical ability with one another and compared themselves at least to their own sex, it would be fairer. Our bodies are built differently and there’s nothing we can do to change that but wait around for evolution. This idea can’t be used with intelligence however. It’s true that we all think differently, but our minds are slightly more unfixed than our bodies. That’s something I think is key.
But molly you can and should run the country without any emotion. I undertand that it's a cold outlook of the world to look at it this way but emotion only clouds your vision on important decision. Think about how neo chose to save trinity rather than reset the matrix and zion. his decision was one of emotion and it was beneficial and the series ended happily ever after. Oh wait this isn't a movie, chosing the life of someone you love over millions that you don't know is foolish. I'll admit you do need some amount of humanity for the job. I mean it would be very productive to kill off every diseased, infected and deformed person on the planet, which would result in a healthier race. But obviosuly that is inhumane. when it comes down to it emotion clouds reason. And the warner bros special FX team won't come to save the president's but when he/she makes a bad decision.
The use of stereotypes has made girls out to seem very emotional and care giving while males are “macho” and leaders. Yet, going pretty far back till now women have been taking more roles. Back in the day when women were homemakers or central caregivers in the home it was unacceptable to be anything other that than. Now it is very common for men to share responsibilities in the household with the women. You can go outside and watch as both men and women strive for their own goals. I do believe that men and women have the same type of goals. Most of both genders wish to have a successful job, endless money, and someone to share all this with. Of course there are a few who differentiate their goals, the majority have a goal of success in mind. Girls do have their moments and they may be more frequent than needed but so do boys. Girls have a different way of showing them because they do not have to front to be tough. I have to say I am one of the girls who don’t often get emotional.
So in my mind I don’t agree with people such as Sergei J. when he gives the “victory” to men when talking about being able to stay unemotional. I don’t think you can truly characterize women and men because there are growing exceptions. I don’t agree with anyone who says men or women have it easier. While at times it may seem one gender has it easier they may have a tougher time with something else. I do feel bad for boys who mature later but it is the girls who have to deal with that. As for the physical differences I do believe there are many. From what I have seen women tend to have to worry about gaining weight and such more often then man. Also, men naturally have more upper body strength that allows them to excel in some things easier than women. Like I said earlier though, there are always exceptions.
I can honestly say if I had the chance to change places with a male even for one day I would pass on the offer. Not for the fact that I don’t think it would be fun to be in someone else’s shoes, I would rather it just be a mystery. I would rather not know what they think and when a boy looks at you or is just walking by and would rather stay guessing. I feel if women were to know exactly what men want they might end up trying too hard to please them.
Throughout history men and woman have led separate lives, including back before men and woman actually made sound decisions about their actions. Obviously, in the era of early human life with Lucy and the Australopithecus men and woman lived in such a way that both sexes had specific lifestyles that just happened to occur. No one was there to tell the woman to cook the food or stay, it just arose out of nature that the woman would be the one to cook the meat captured by the male. This leads people in the present world to understand that naturally men and women are going to have a different perception upon the world. It's almost as if the balances of nature are forcing men and woman to have different perceptions of what the world is like.
For instance, the sport of football is an amazing example of the differences between men and women.In life men are largely more physical and competitive than women, this is a known fact, and women view this sport as a way for males to just be as physical and competitive as possible with each other. Just the other day a female asked me "why would a person want to run full speed head first into another person?" which is a smart question to a female, but to a male it seems this question is wildly stupid. Any male who likes the sport of football would answer the question with a simple " why wouldn't YOU want to run full speed into another person?" Obviously, this shows the differences within a male's thought process and a female's thought process on things such as sports.
In the actual world outside the realm of athletics its almost comical to see how different men and women really are. Nature forces women to grow up and develop a certain mindset that causes them to be more emotional along with more socially acceptable than their male counterparts. The biology creating the female hormone estrogen causes these higher levels of emotions and typically more grace than males have. This has been scientifically proven by scientists, so before anyone attempts to refute this finish the reading first! Males that display higher levels of estrogen in their bodies typically are more sensitive and prone to exhibit emotional portrayals of their feelings, while males that have a lower level tend to be more aggressive and show less of their inner feelings. Along the lines of grace and socially appropriate, it is no question to as of which of the sexes tend to better exhibit these qualities. For example, if a woman doesn't have manners and doesn't act proper she is seen as rude, while a male that doesn't act proper is seen as a typical male. But on the other hand, a male that has manors is deemed a "gentleman", while a female that has manors is considered a female. Furthermore, women tend to have a more sophisticated sense of style most of the time than men do. Usually in most males lives there comes a point where a female teaches them something about matching, in the sense of clothes, and to be honest if it wasn't for a female in my life I'd probably still have no idea which colors match with which colors. Clearly, women and men have a multitude of differences between them considering their mindsets.
Additionally, outside the sense of emotions and mental differences between males and females there are just somethings that physically males can do that females typically can't do and vice-versa. For instance, it is no big surprise that males are stronger, faster, and more athletically gifted than females. Once again, there is proof to back this up. The Olympics that just past serve as a testament to the physicality differences between men and women. The world's fastest swimmer? Male. World's fastest sprinter, male. Strongest lifter, no surprise here it's once again a male. The Olympics are divided into sexes not to be sexist, but to allow women a chance to actually win. This information isn't saying women can't be strong, fast or athletic. It's showing that it would be sexist to force them to compete together, because the world's strongest man is clearly stronger than the world's strongest woman, and so on. Now women have their strong points physically also. Women can do things such as move in fluid motions better than men, in gymnastics and dance, and have better hand eye coordination, such as in tennis and archery. Athletically, though the field tends to level out in a few sports but not many. If a person took the world's best softball pitcher and put them up against the world's best baseball hitter, it could be the match of the century. But in other sports its clear that males are more athletically inclined, which is true for most of the divided team sports like soccer and basketball. Obviously, the world for men is created for athletics and physical activity while it seems women tend to live in a mentally and emotionally inclined world.
Moreover, males tend to live the easier lifestyle, considering the world is designed in a way to better suit men. The world is structured for the people who have the power to enforce their advantages against others, and up until recently the advantage of strength overpowered the abilities of the mind. Females have been forced to live in servitude for most of the existence of humans, and many people aren't ready to accept that the bond of woman servitude was broken. So, having to face extremely derogatory stereotypes of where women should be and what they should be doing based upon where they have been and what they have been doing is incredibly hard to face. These stereotypes make it very difficult to plow ahead and succeed in life when the opposite sex is attempting to put you down. Also, every single day of a females life after they have hit puberty they have to deal with males goggling and trying to grope them. Not many males can say this is occurring daily on a unwanted basis like it is for females. Furthermore, women, if hoping to achieve independence in life, are forced to depend upon males to do many of the things that were created with male features in mind. The closest relative of a woman's position in life is based upon the Left-Hander's Theory (copyright Mr. Cervi). The world is created with the right-handed person in mind, and anyone who is left handed is forced to adapt to the way the world proceeds, but using the left hand instead of the right. This adaptation gives the left handed person the advantage in the world now that they have acquired the skills to succeed in the world an alternative way than initially designed. This is how females are positioned in the world designed for men. Ultimately, females have the harder life to live considering they are confronted with problems that most males never have to be confronted with, and the problems females do face that males face are usually magnified by ten for the females scenario.
Moreover, if it was possible to switch genders I would most definitely have to take up that offer, but only for a short amount of time. It's pointless to remove myself from a position with a easier time to a position with a harder time permanently. By being a female it would be possible to find out if females truly talk about males in any way similar to the way males talk about females. This could be an amazing observation for how females actually think and respond to boys actions, and thus would make me like Will Smith in the movie Hitch. On a more practical note, trading genders for a short period of time would allow me to fully understand the differences between males and females psychologically and emotionally. When the switch was back to normal I would seem like the smartest individual in the world, considering I would know things from both sides of the gender fence. In the end, it seems the gender switch would probably only benefit myself in the end so it would be done out of an effort of self-improvement in some aspect of life, whether it be socially or educationally.
In response to Maegan
Finally, someone besides me has realized that women tend to throw themselves under the bus when they partake in parading around practically naked on television and in society. How are people suppose to view you as sophisticated individuals if you dress like girls working in Las Vegas (we all know what I'm talking about)? Dave Chappelle said it best in one of his stand-up comedies that when females say the way they dress doesn't exactly entail that they are those derogatory comments, but they are wearing the uniform of the said comments. He continued to say that it is as if he walked down the street wearing a police uniform and people began to ask him to save them from criminals. Women can't stand up for their right to be treated equal when they constantly try to resemble objects of sex. It has reached the point where society has created a paradox for females, considering if they dress like that they cannot be respected for their rights, but if they don't dress like that they complain about not being able to find a mate. The problem with that is though they allowed it to get to the point where they have become stuck in this vortex. If the original women never allowed themselves to be paraded around as sex symbols it never would have gotten out of hand. But there is no use fussing over spilled noodles, or however the saying goes, considering it has gotten so bad. I just feel as if I had to comment on what my best friend for life Maegan Reese said, due to its profundity.
Awwww, Devon! I'm glad that you enjoy reading my blogs. I thought most people would stop reading this one after they read the first sentence (since it seems off topic in the beginning). I'm also glad that I included the part about girls being so self-aware, it seems to have gotten a few people's attention.
Probably just Trans-Siberian Orchestra poisoning my mind, but one of Devon's comments made me think of a good rhetorical question. What does it say about gender roles that a guy is considered sensitive for comforting a distraught female friend? Just food for thought.
Aristotle is believed to be the founder of the notion of Tabula Rasa. Tabula Rasa, meaning blank slate in latin, is the thesis that human beings are born with no innate thoughts. Their minds are “blank”, and all knowledge is attained through life experiences. I strongly believe that who you are today attests to how you were raised as a child. Gender would have no effect on who you are today if it wasn’t drilled into our heads that the man is supposed to provide for the family and the woman should care for it. This ancient belief has existed since the dawn of history and will probably exist for much longer. Having said that, I believe the civilized world is changing. The number of powerful women in America has grown exponentially in the last decade. Hilary Clinton and Sarah Palin are prime examples of gender equality rising in America. When I heard that equal pay for women in the workplace was even an issue in this upcoming election I was shocked. I honestly did not know that sexism still existed in this country on a large enough scale to be an issue in the presidential election. Sexism is fading, it is clear that men and women are equal.
Men and women may be equal in this country, but I think there are a few inherent differences between the character of your average girl and average guy. Society still pressures girls to play with dollhouses and boys to play with trucks. It’s almost imprinted in our DNA, and it’s apparent in everyday life. If you walk into Babies R Us, the girls section glows pink while the boys section radiates blue. But I think even that is beginning to fade in this country. For example, think of your favorite song, I can guarantee that a person of the opposite sex has that same favorite song as you somewhere in this country.
When it comes to emotions, I believe we all the same. It is not the emotions that we feel, but the way they are expressed that differs from boys and girls. For example, the first time I saw Forest Gump I was with my whole family. We huddled around the T.V. and popped in the DVD. By the end of the movie both my sister and mother were bawling endlessly, while my brother, father, and I sat with glum looks on our face. I know we were all moved by the piece, it was apparent by our glassy eyes, but none of us cried.
As for who has it easier, I say neither. No matter your gender, life sucks. We all go through the same struggles, same changes, same problems, same everything. It is who we are as a person that gets us through life, not our gender. I think anyone that blames anything on their gender is just looking for an excuse for their problems.
And finally, the big question, would I want to be a girl? For a day, why not, everyone likes a change in scenery. But for a lifetime, no way. I’ve become acclimated to being a guy, I’ve been one for almost my entire life! I could never get used to social pressures of a girl. And verbal bullying, not for me. I’m the kind of person who enjoys getting punched in the face.
Ok, so I would like to say, Bunje, your occasional paper for period 9/10 had everyone on the verge of tears, women and men (happy Megan s) alike. And if they weren't, they must not be human or something, because that was a heart-wrenching story. I think you broke through that though guy act men tend to put up and made everyone feel and connect on a new level. I think the real reason that guys don't show their feelings is out of fear. They are scared of how others will perceive them. Women, I think, naturally want to comfort and make each other feel at easy. Men, on the other hand, aren't really afforded that luxury of feeling secure in being emotional. I sure they are afraid of being called gay or weak or a number of other ridiculous things.
In Response to Molly:
First, I think you have the biggest fan base out of everyone. Second, if you latest comment was pointed at me, here's my response. If not, too bad. I can't agree with you more. Emotions are never a hindrance. They are always that extra boost you need to get the job done.
Devon:
Your passage about being a "personal fan of tears" is awesome. And you other passage about babysitting triggered something that made have somewhat of an epiphany.
When I was younger I had to go to a babysitter during the day and there were probably 10 to 15 kids there a day and they ranged from 2 months to 7 years old. She obviously couldn't take care of everyone at once. So she'd put the older kids on her screened in porch and let them play together. Everyone played with everything. Boys played with cooking sets and girls played with trucks and vice-versa. There was no care about what anyone else thought, we all just wanted to have fun. The question then is why when we, or al least I, was 3 years old did doing "girl things" not matter? Why, when we get older do we get the notation that men have to be strong and impenetrable emotionally and women have to be dainty and proper? And before I answer this I have another story that goes in tandem with this. My piano teacher, and yes for all of those who didn't know I play piano, was telling me a story about his son before we started. He told me that during the day his son had some friends, girls and boys, over to play. They all played with trucks first. Eventually they became bored of trucks and moved on. Well, his son has a sister and she had a trunk full of dress up clothes. So they drag the trunk into the living room and begin to get changed. My piano teacher notices his son is putting on a dress. He walks over and says, “Why are you putting on a dress? Why not where a cowboy outfit instead?" and his son replied in two simple words, "why not?" that story reminds of what my life was like before I was 10. I didn’t care, I just wanted to have fun with my friends whether it meant playing with trucks or dressing up like a ballerina. It didn't matter, no one was judging us. That, I have come to the conclusion, is why men and women are they way they are, "judgment." we are all afraid of what someone else thinks. But if we could all get over that and be ourselves despite what others may think of as weakness, life would change as we know it. However, that unfortunately is not happening. What would life be like if we maintained our youthful ignorance, for lack of a better word, and didn’t care about anything expect being ourselves and giving it our all?
I definitely feel that growing up in this situation has affected me today. I feel as though I’m more open about how I feel then most guys, but I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing either. I think that there are ties when I would have killed, no not allowed to say that, mortally wounded someone if I hadn’t have been able to tell how I was feeling. I think I’m done now. :)
Brendan:
You make me laugh every time. Thanks
Maegan R:
Your entry is awesome, as usual. My favorite part was: “Think about it. Every time I turn on the TV, I see skimpily clad girls gyrated on the "flo'" to some rapper flashing his grill and throwing his money in the air. Sure, these degrading lyrics and music videos may have been the men's ideas, but last time I checked, nobody forced these girls into their barely-there outfits and made them dance in such a manner. This behavior is both disturbing and hypocritical to me, especially when I see these same girls on an "MTV news" segment advocating women's rights. If dancing provacotively in a g-string bikini is your idea of women's rights, then I think we're in trouble.” It is really so true and you make a really good point. You go out on a limb and put yourself in an awkward position with other girls, but it really is true that everyone is to blame for stereotypes; it takes two to tango as they say.
BTW: Bunje, does the reason you chose this as our topic have anything to do with “only daughter”? Seeing as the author is treated like the scum of the earth because she’s a girl seems to fit perfectly with our discussion. They seem to have awfully similar messages. Well, I think that all for now. In the words of Alice, “Peace out my homies.”
Wow so it seems like this topic stated to heat up so I am going to throw in one last comment.
Devon Darling-
So, I know we get along really well because we have a lot of the same things in common, but when it comes to our emotional personalities...uhm come on completly different! I've seen you cry many times and I am not phased by it. I don't sigh in my mind and think 'wow dev's being a baby or shes taking it to seriously.' The friend I am looks at it on from your mind and tries to make it better. I know Hayley commented and said that "girls that cry have no backbone," but I would have to disagree (in a sense). Im a girl who would rather 'fight it out' than 'talk it out' and would rather listen to loud rock and roll, then calming jack johnson (still love him), when I'm pissed. Although many would think that the stronger people on the OUTSIDE are the ones with that durable backbone, the same can be said for our emotional friends. I'm not the first person to flaunt, express, or in anyway illustrate my emotions on sad days to the world. So, in conclusion I am fairly weak when it comes down to the deep things. Dev on the other hand and many of the people I am friends with, are not afraid to let it out! Thats right NOT AFRAID, meaning that they have guts. If people werent emotional in society, controversial issues wouldnt even have supporters to argue between and Hollywood films of war and love would end with bland cliches. I'm not just saying this because, but people who can cry, scream, or express themselves to the world are infact the backbone of society. They are the ones who care enough to make the difference and change things in the world. I'm not saying that I've never cried, I still have a pretty strong backbone, (I just wrecked some girl from Millville yesterday:P), but to extend this metaphor/similie/lieterary device; a backbone is not just s single bone, but many vertabre the hold it together, and everyone can be strong in their own way and be a part of it.
Night<3
Isn't feminism and women's rights about choice though? They may be enforcing stereotypes, but they're only saying everyone should be able to do what they want, neh? That said, Matty-Matt, I do agree with you it's kinda silly that we could ignore those stereotypes when we were little and yet now we can't do anything unless it's submitted to our peers in Triplicate.
To Tarah, I agree with what you are saying about society, it controls everyone whether we know it or not. It start at a young are with things like cartoons and barbie dolls, and it effects everyone as they grow.
In response to Jordan, i don't think that women are forced into servitude anymore. The world is changing, in most families both the man and woman work.
In response to Jon,
"I was really just talking about the stereotypical girls. I really have respect for girls like you guys who are above the silly name brand clothing and aren't afraid to be different. You would be the type of people I was refferring to when I said "the ones leading the fight."But the fact is, pretty much all the girls I've dated fit that little description. Of course, I've dated maybe one or two girls who are above the petty stereotypes, just as you guys are."
I feel that by you putting girls into a specific category because of the clothes they wear is stereotyping the girls themselves. I understand where your coming from, and frankly i know what girls your talking about, but we really can't judge certain girls based on a few minor details about their appearance. Above this, girls that make an effort not to wear branded clothes are still wearing a certain category of clothes thus putting them into a different group of people. Overall this labeling being put upon girls should be broken whether through girls not caring what kind of clothes they wear,(almost impossible), or guys not caring what kind of clothes girls where. I'm leaning towards the second option. =)
Devon I hope you really don't think guys don't cry or sympathize, becuase we do, just quietly. I maybe alone on this, but i try to let people know that i am there if they need a shoulder to cry on, whether litterally or fuguratetively, wow completely spelled wrong. I feel as though the best thing i can do as a friend is console a sorrwing friend. I sure, as everyone has noticed, i am a lot more open about my feelings than other guys and i have to say it is nice to just cry. for anyone who says thats weakness, MATT C, i completely disagree. Why else would we have the ability to cry? No, its not for just removing foreign obstructions from our eyes either. it is a natural reaction. it is a way to release stress and wash away all that we are feeling. And if you still are having doubts than my response is, have you tried it lately? before you go comdeming someone for showing emotion, maybe you should try it. And here's some food for thought. if no one acted upon emotion and though about things sin emotion, you wouldn't be here, none of us would be. we have all been created because of love and love is defintely a emotion. so before you going condeming people to hell becuase they so emotion why don;t you think about what life, or the lack of life, would be like without out them. i have to go to sleep now bye everyone
i must apologize for my harsh language. I don;t mean to often anyone.
if no one acted upon emotion and though about things sin emotion, you wouldn't be here, none of us would be. we have all been created because of love and love is defintely a emotion
thank you for proving my point matt. we humans are here and all we do is destroy. we take and kill, take and kill. if we weren't here at all wouldn't that be better for the planet? of course it would. and you can't go on to say that life would not exist because other species do not reproduce for pleasure, it is purely instinct. humans and emotions are just anomalies that have developed but should not exist in the natural world.
I'm not going to argue, because I need to go to bed. However, Matt C, I can't believe you would say that, "emotions are just anomalies that have developed but should not exist in the natural world." If this is how you feel, you're in for a long life. Because emotions are everywhere, like it or not. Do yourself a favor and accept that now. Because everything happens for a reason. We have emotions for a reason. Case closed.
(firstly, I hate roadrips. Now imagine me writing this 3.5 hours ago.)
I’m currently in a car, driving home from Rhode Island. It’s 10 pm and I’ve been in this car since 6 (and for the last hour and a half we’ve been going all of 30 mph on the highway.) We had to pull over to a McDonalds with WiFi in order to post my first segment. So chances are very good that this portion will be posted after I get home (around two a.m.) and will as such be late. But that’s okay. I’ve already posted the actual assignment; this is just something I felt the need to add. (Of course if Ms. Bunje wants to be an angel and count this inspired piece as well, I’d love her forever. But I will anyway, so no pressure.)
I’m a bit of a contradiction, myself. I enjoy doing things that are looked at as “women’s work”, like sewing, crocheting, baking, singing to myself, designing/making/buying/wearing clothes, and I’m pretty capable in all of those areas. I even made my own prom dress last year. I love to dance. I, like our own dear Ms. Bunje, have a thing for shoes, although not to the 300 pair extreme. I like looking nice, and it makes me happy when people compliment my appearance. I’m a firm believer in the wonders of make-up, but I’m quick to point out that you don’t, and nobody does, need make-up to be beautiful. Every woman is beautiful; the correct usage of make-up can simply enhance that beauty and draw more attention to it.
Here’s the contradiction part: I’m also a strong feminist. I believe that- while I enjoy the above activities- there are a great many women who do not, and should not be forced to learn them. I also believe it’s totally okay, and actually pretty cool, if a guy can capably handle any of those above things. I’m teaching my friend Paul to sew for that very reason, and he’s one of the manliest men I know. It’s also smart for certain guys to learn some of those skills: you would not believe the number of guys in drama, who, on opening night, while I’m curling my hair, getting dressed, running lines and reviewing dances all at once, feel the need to ask me to do their make-up. Or sew a rip on their costume. Or make chocolate chip cookies instead of brownies for tomorrow’s performance, please and thank you very much. Another one of the reasons I’m such a fan of equality has to do with my goals: eventually, I’d really like to run my own business, a position only recently made available to women. I aspire to owning my own dance studio, and teaching all sort of children: girls, boys, physically/mentally able, physically/mentally disabled, I think everyone deserves to express themselves. As you can see, I support very little more than equality. However, equality does not always mean identical treatment, and I’ll come back to that in a minute. The second reason is that I love people. Even if I don’t necessarily like them, I make a solid effort to love everybody, because I feel they all deserve to be loved. And you don’t want people you love to be unhappy, which is an obvious result of sexism.
“Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn, you’re free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love, love, love, love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A la peaceful melody,
It’s your godforsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved, loved.”
-Jason Mraz. (forgive misquotes please: if they exist, they’re minor, I got this simply by listening to the song, not off a website due to my lack of interwebz.)
So now back to equal, but not identical treatment. I will repeat this a few times, but here it is at its core: YOU CANNOT EXPECT EVERY PERSON TO LEARN, THINK, ACT, FEEL, TRY, DREAM, WORK, COMMUNICATE OR LIVE THE SAME WAY. In reality you shouldn’t expect any person to learn, think, act, feel, try, dream, work, communicate, or live the same way. But we’ll start with every person. For instance, my sister Margaret is severely dyslexic. Through hard, strenuous and excessive amounts of work, she was getting D’s in her reading class. My mom got her tested for dyslexia in 3rd grade, and she is now in 6th grade with an I.E.P. If her unique situation had not been identified, she would have worked her ass off for a while just to earn D’s, and probably eventually given up. If hard work rewards you with failure, why work hard anymore? But because her difference was found she can now achieve all of her dreams, and her hard work pays off. Last year, in the fourth marking period, she got all A’s for the first time in her life and she’s fairly determined to keep that trend up.
Think of a world full of Margaret’s. Not all are dyslexic, but all are unique. Some read better than they solve math problems, some can do matrices in their sleep but can’t understand a word of Shakespeare. Everyone is different, and if we could all learn to recognize those differences in others, there would be far fewer problems concerning “glass ceiling effects” or men finding themselves lacking in “manliness”. Genders are the same way. True, typically women require more instruction than men (like Vickie’s inquiry about word limits at the beginning of this post) but we also multi-task ten dozen times better than most men, allowing us to get more done in less time, increasing productivity. True, men are less fun at company parties… I mean, are often less patient and have more deficiencies in their inter-personal relations, but they work independently and often ask fewer questions (and are therefore less bothersome to bosses) than women. But if bosses, colleagues, teachers, peers and everybody could recognize even the most general of these differences, it would make dealing with other people much easier all around.
By the way. Ashley S, thank you. Thank you for not writing the same crap we keep repeating over and over. I read through all of these posts and was getting quite sick of the repetitive “I’m-required-to-write-this-even-though-60-people-have-already” when I stumbled upon your lovely narrative and was pleasantly surprised to see you have an exquisite mind of your own. =]
ok Matt, i see you're not going to budge so i guess i'll let you live in your own little fanstasy world without emotions. have fun by yourself. its going to be a long cold life or you.
don't be mad that i'm taking the logical side of the argument. just look at your last post, you're letting your frustration get the best of you. and if you read what i wrote i never said that i'm living an emotionless life. what i said was there are certain positions that require reason rather then emotion.
ok mr. logical, why did you say, "emotions are just anomalies that have developed but should not exist in the natural world." because your last post said that hinted that emotions can be used in some situtations but logic in others, which is understandable. but that quote up there makes it seem as though you detest emotions and think they are worthless, hence no emotions is better. i not mad actually, quite the contrary, enegerized and happy to see you stand up for what you believe, even if i don't agree. TO me this arguement has been great. I enjoy a good battle of the minds. I'm quite happy. once again, not that i agree with, i think your abilty to twist what i've said to support yourself is quite ingenious have to go now bye
here are my final comments to you Matt. first of all, every animal feels emotions. the universal emotion is fear. this fear, which is an emotion, keeps us alive on a daily basis, and not just us but every animal. And dogs are sad when you forget them and cats get mad when we pester them. All creatures have emotions and they are not just anomilies of the human race. end of disscussion.
I must admit the fating goats are really very funny Bunje. i will watch that whenever i need a good laugh
I believe Herr Negative over there means emotion that goes beyond the instinctual level. A good number of animals have emotion, but only a select few actually have things such as "goals","self-awareness", or even "entertainment". However, humans, despite being the most developed case, are not unique in this matter.
Let us avoid domesticated animals, which have been essentially artificially evolved. A good example would be orcas, a type of animal that has different dialects depending on their clans, and several cultures. Some actually eats only the tongues of whales they kill while others have spent their time fooling around by flipping seals into the water.
Now, before I get too engaged in talking about orcas (the greatest animal in existence) , I'd like to present my view. Our society was created through peopl with goals and aspirations. Otherwise, we humans would probably still be in the Dark Ages. Emotion is likely to have caused many great ideas and inventions. However, society has been set in place, to the point where people cannot allow emotions to control their every whim. Though you can't forsake them, hopelessly following them without a second thought can only bring harm.
Tabula Rasa is the name of a Buffy episode. Did I write this just to get the last word in? I'll never tell.
nope becuase i did now Ma hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting the last word for the sake of it is foolish.
(Hypocrite has arrived)
I agree totally...not really :)
Matt is mean. And will never get the last word. Not on this blog.
MWAHAAHAAHAA!!!!!!!
(By the way, that was a direct challenge to you, Matthew ruin-my-last-word-fun-boy! Just in case the evil laughter didn't make that obvious.)
Oh, Sarah your on. i think i'm winning now
The correct grammer is "you're", not "your". And bring it. I will not be defeated by a BOY.
Or anyone really.
Thank yo for correcting my ignorance of the english language. Anyway, you're not going to win easily...well not at all to tell you the truth. I will reign supreme. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! how's that for an evil laugh?
Your evil laugh is nothing compared to my silent anger at your refusal to surrender. You should know, though, that I grew up in a family of six and have not yet failed to get my way (except for a few things. But I didn't fight for it then. I know how to pick my battles). I don't think your ready to deal with the sheer tenacity and will that I possess, puny human boy. This is fight for the last word is not one that I will lose.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
Yes, I really DID just call you a puny human boy. That's right. Wanna mess?
And also, I did have a little Drama Queen with my cereal this morning. That is besides the point.
Men and women see the world in two completely different ways. There is no way around this, men easily have the easy way out when it comes to living life. Sorry girls but you drew the short end of the straws. Woman are subjectified by men constantly, if a woman is anything less than perfect, chances are someone will point their flaw. This is not helped any but the gorgeous, abnormally skinny women seen on TV every day. Women have to try and compete with models where as men hardly are compared to models at all. When men go to school or out in public often times they spend close to five minutes in preparation, at least from a personal standpoint I can say this is true. This may not be fair but this is typically the way life ends up.
Another huge aspect of life that is easier for a man is childbirth. While I know that none of you have ever been through this rigorous process before, and obviously neither have I, but the thought of having a child grow inside of another human being for nine months until it is forcefully shoved out is terrifying. This especially makes me grateful for being born a male species.
As far as woman go you guys are lucky in the fact that you were born in this day in age. No longer is woman’s sole purpose to grow up makes clothes, prepare dinner, and make babies. Women have made great strides in the advancement of their causes in recent years. For example this legendary presidential race we are in the middle of. For the first time a woman went toe to toe with a man and almost won the primary. Another first is the choice of Sarah Palin as John McCain’s running mate. Although I do not respect her decisions and despise the fact that tried to ban books from public libraries in her home town, I respect her courage and nobility to be the first woman to be on a major ballot. Women nowadays, I feel, have a greater tendency and urge to be more successful. Ever since women have been starting to become part of society in the sense that they can vote and work jobs, they have had a desire to become successful and beat men at everything they do.
As for switching places with a female, even just for a day, I respectfully decline. Not now nor have I ever felt the slightest urge to switch places. Women have it way harder than men. Men do not have to worry about appearance nearly as much as woman. And most importantly I would never want to have to deal with the pressures of trying to live up to today’s standards of women.
Oh, sarah, you're insolence is rather amusing. But, i have to say that you a just a puny human girl. You can never win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will always be one step ahead of you. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And this "puny human boy" is going to win. so BOO YA. Yeah, i went there.
Hey, Matt, your "Witty Banter" isn't really witty if you just steal my insults. Try to do something original next time, okay? Seriously, have some respect.
And, in response to your claim that you will win, I will tell you what my little sister just told me a couple minutes ago;
Si succhiano.
Sarah, if I only understood. But you want an original matthew insult well here it comes.
Tu eras un stupido gato con una mancha higante y tu eras un bebe grande y tu heule a una mono con manos y pies sucios y yo soy mucho mas intelligente a tu.
HAhahahahah!!!! It's in Spanish so you don't have a clue what I just said. I could have, but didn't, called you a piece of feces on a log and you'd never know. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is pure evilness at its best. You lose
Score
Sarah-10 points
Matt- infintite(∞)points
You can never win
Matt, I have two things to say to you. The first is that your Spanish grammar isn't great. Second is BABELFISH BABY. Your slightly odd spanish pretty much translates to this:
"Your eras a stupido cat with a spot higante and your eras drinks great and your heule to a monkey with dirty hands and feet and I am much more intelligente to your."
Aka, you're a stupid cat, you're kinda like a dirty monkey, and i'm smarter than you. great. Very intelligent comeback matt. Really.
HEY, Nobody told me this post was still active.
HI EVERYBODY !!!
Hi sergei and thanks fiona that makes me feel really great:(
I adore Fiona.
My comment was in Italian, but I take erman. Sorryg my jee key isn't workin. si succhiano means you suck, and the fung part is that myg little sis is only 9 and she said that.
Okay, now I'm on a fully functional computer, so I can fully say what I need to.
Matt, I think that whatever points you had (certainly not infinity), is lost through your bad Spanish grammar and your weak insults. So let me just respond:
Du bist ein dumm schweinehund, und deine Popo is grosser als die Welt. Du hast keine Chance zu gewinnt, weil ich die Konigen sind und du bist jetzt ein Shiesskopf Penner Schnaba Popoaffe. Geht weg.
You don't even want to know what that says.
Yes, Sergei, this blog is still active, but since you said, and I quote, "every group of women needs a man", and that mass genocide and dead puppies "make me laugh", I am officially kicking you off this blog.
No offense, Comrad.
sO YOU ARE THE REASON I WASN'T ABLE TO LOG ON. yOU HAXOR
Sarah? How did you block Sergei?????
Magic.
And I'm Sarah Crane. Do you need a further reason?
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