Now, while it's true my definition of love may be slightly skewed at present, I am fairly sure I have not become so embittered by my heartache that I can't recognize it. Right?
The word "love" gets thrown around so much on a day-to-day basis, it's a wonder the letters haven't broken off and gotten lost forever. Or--have they? How often do you say you "love" something as silly as a pair of shoes or an ice cream flavor? On page 140 in Bees, August tells Lily,"We are so limited, you have to use the same word for loving Rosaleen as you do for loving Coke with peanuts. Isn't that a shame we don't have more ways to say it?" The first time I read that line (Summer of 2005) I pondered it for hours afterward, desperate to find another word to replace the one that should remain sacred. And came up with....exactly nothing. It has never been far from my thoughts since then.
So, your challenge for this week, poppets, is to dig deep inside yourself and think about what it is that you really love. In order to do that, I think it would be beneficial to start out with a working definition of what love is. How would you define it? What characteristics would be a good representation of it? And then, at long last, ask yourself..."What do I love?"
Does putting a classification on things you have previously said you "loved" change your perspective on what the meaning of love should be?
(450 words/50 pts)
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92 comments:
Ah-ho. This should be a really interesting blog to write.
This should be interesting.
Do you know? This is exactly why I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Discrepancies about what love means and how over used it is.
Part 1 of 2:
Love. Since the word has been ‘thrown around’ as much as it is, it seems like the hardest thing to do is place a definition beside it. Love is a word that has a different connotation for everyone but is based off the same origin. One person could love their dog, while the other may think that love for an animal is stretching the meaning of love. I think that love is defined by an attraction for someone or something that brings out the passion you have in life and allows you to see yourself through the strong relationship you have with something else. I think this definition partly explains why it is technically inaccurate to say that you love mint chocolate chip ice cream, even though it is delicious, because the thing you love should be something that you can have a relationship with (not sappy love relationship) but a relationship in which the two separate parties can bring out characteristics in another that may have been hidden.
The characteristics that would come with love for something would be passion, heart, and understanding. If you love something than you are passionate towards the person or animal and feel almost like you can’t live without them. Of course a heart is symbolic of love, but the heart in which you play your last soccer game with or the heart that you use to care for someone is another characteristic and representation of love.
Part 2 of 2:
I think that although the word love is thrown around a lot, the meaning of love is not necessarily overrated. I may say that I love mint chocolate chip ice cream or that I love Gavin Degraw, but in my heart I know that I do not have a relationship with either. I say it to show my strong like and appeal for these two things, however I know, just like the person I told that I do not really ‘love’ these things. So, the things I love would begin with my family. I thought about this very hard. I don’t have the ‘tell you everything’ complete-trust thing going on with my family, especially now. However, we are talking about the people who have been with me through everything, raised me to become who I am, and literally do everything for me from driving me to softball tournaments in Massachusetts to helping take care of my horse. I think my family has a very prominent love-hate relationship. It’s that kind of tough love that you can’t stand sometimes when it’s there but will miss tremendously when it’s gone. That’s just my family though. And this doesn’t go for every relative I have either. I have close to no relationship with a few of my family members and I could care less because I’ve known them for a long time and if we haven’t clicked yet then, it’s not meant to be I guess. The other thing I love is animals and specifically my pets. From my first dog that I got when I was five, to my two dogs now and two cats, and my three horses in between and my current one now; I love them all! Animals are the most amazing creatures and I can go on forever about them, but pets are really something that I find easy to make a connection with. I don’t know if they care about me or listen to me bitch and complain to them, but all I know is that they will never say anything to hurt me and because I never know if they really care, the relationship stands. My dogs and horses I see almost every day and their responses the same. The dogs jump and bark and freak out even when I am in a bad mood because their happy I’m home and my horse licks my hand and shuffles around on his feet, looking for food, but also for companionship.
The last thing I have that I truly love would be my friends. They obviously come and go but I have loved them all at some point or currently still do. I don’t talk to my family about anything so my friends are the ones that know me the best. They’re there for me through everything good, bad, happy, or devastating. They come in with all different personalities; the hard ass who tells it like it is, the one that can make me feel better no matter what, the one I’ll be thrown in jail with, and the one who’s been there forever. That’s what I love, yes love, about friends; I can always count on them, they can always count on me, and they bring out all the characteristics in me that I would fail to unveil if it weren’t for their presence.
Okay that’s really enough talk about love.
Love. Oh what a freaking lovely word. I was trying to pick a love song from my very vast collection, but came back empty-handed. If you know me at all, you know that usually a song will come to my head, even before I think about the lyrics, with the right mood I’m in, and it just didn’t happen today. Bummer. Well, let’s get on to these questions now, shall we?
What is love (baby don’t hurt me, no more)? Love can be so many things. However, I’ll just stick to three definitions because I am really not in a “love” mood, and I’m writing about love. Not a great combination.
1. Love – That tingly, butterfly-inducing feeling you get around that special someone. A single touch from them makes your senses become alive with awareness. A hug makes you feel your best, your happiest. You have the connection with them that is different from anyone else or anything you have ever experienced before. However, this feeling of love could also be dangerous. A quote that comes to mind is, “Love is blind.” Which it is. Interpret as you may, but I believe that I often get caught in the clutches of blind love, or strong liking, because I am stupid and have no expertise in that area. I don’t really know how that makes you look at me, but I assure you I am fixing this problem in my own way, by keeping my heart guarded with a steel wall a mile thick. =] Try to break that.
2. Love – A feeling stronger that mere liking, something more endearing to you which you care about tremendously. A very strong liking for something is love. This could be a connection between everything and anything I believe. People are raised differently; thus there perceptions of love grow differently. Because their perceptions of love grow differently, they could love anything ranging from, and not limited to, rain to music to dogs to a sister. These are things that follow the statement, “I could not live without...” This definition of love is the biggest I believe, while the former is the smallest.
3. OMG Love – Well, this is the category for all the arbitrary stuff that we “love.” It is also often preceded by the phrase, “Oh my god!” This love is basically just for things you like more than other things. Like yesterday, I was painting my nails, and I was asking my sister what color to do, and she said, “OMG! I love that color!!” This enthusiasm can also help to sway a decision...which is why I am now wearing that color.
Characteristics of Love: (Pretty much the words I associate with it)
-Caring –Kindness – Bliss- Friendliness – Understanding – Enjoyment – Happiness – Unselfish – Truthful – Passion – Compassion – Beauty(this is not the obvious meaning)
What do I love? Well, going through the categories, for number one, I’ll keep that private because telling you anything will put a crack in my steel-wall, which I am not up for. Numero dos would consist of my family (every single one of them), my friends, nature, and singing (The order means nothing.). Annnnnd, for the last category, I’ll just name the ten that come to my head first because I don’t want to tread in Alice’s waters from class today, although it was very funny Alice. Good Job. =)
Some OMG Loves:
-Cryptoquips
-pigs
-alien stickers
-memoirs of a geisha
-painting intricate designs
-mosaics
-people from Iowa
-Harry Potter
-Persian rugs
-orchids (especially green and orange ones)
This wraps up what is love (baby don’t hurt me, no more (inevitable)) I love. Hope you enjoyed.
P.S. I was listening to Adia by Sarah Mclachlan continuously throughout this blog so I guess that’s the inspirational song for this blog this time.
Part 1: ( Sorry it is so long)
Love. I adore and loathe that very word. My definition of love seems very simple in the grand scheme of things. I see love as a connection, a deeper appreciation. When you love something or someone you take it at face value. You love it for its flaws and its perfections, for its purpose and for its being. It is knowing what you have in front of you, and knowing what you don’t. You understand it, you accept it, and you pick that above all. Whether you pick vanilla over chocolate or piano man over the football player it’s the heart’s choice, it is your favorite, you feel some sort of gravitation to it. Mr. Cervi once told us how our eyes automatically go to the right answer on the page, we just have to catch which one it is before we confuse ourselves. I think it’s the same way with love, our heart automatically goes to what we want, but our logic confuses us, and gives us pause.
When I think of love, some adjectives come to mind:
1. loyal, devoted
2. passionate
3. caring, sweet
4. understanding
5. totally unfortunate, sometimes
I don’t think love is simple, nor do I think it’s the ultimate anymore, time and love in general shakes you. I know up until this year I was a different person on this subject, I never felt so involved yet distant from the subject as I do now. Love has no rhyme or reason, and I like logic. This year shaped my attitude a little differently. I don’t think I would know love if it bit me, but then again maybe I would. That’s the thing with love, I didn’t have a clue about it until I started to explore it. Not until I felt something that I couldn’t explain, until I just let myself let love in. I am a guarded person, calculated and it’s a pain. Running around with a wall up is more work than it’s worth. Although I’m hurt now from letting that wall down, I wouldn’t change any of the events of the past year.
Part 2:
The things I love are pretty straight forward, and then some not so much.
I love my family, without a doubt. I think the honey bee’s discussion captured the love I have for my mom.
Next, the most important love, because it’s the love you have to work for to maintain is the love I give my friends. My friends are in a word, perfect. Their personalities only help to make mine better, and are handpicked because of our bonds. They are the ones that I gravitate towards, the ones that stand out time after time. I admire them and respect them above all. Sometimes it’s hard to show it, and I make mistakes but overall at the end of the day they are so important to me. On a scale of 1-10 my friends are an 15 and a ½ . Love each other of them for exactly what they bring to the table, and also what they don’t I wouldn’t change a single one of them, nor could I wish for better friends.
Something that changed me this year was a series of events with two different boys.
The first thing that opened my eyes was a phone call. I had fought him for as long as I can remember. I shut him out, blocked him out and all because I was scared. I held myself back, and that’s alright as he is a happier person now. Yet, in this phone call I was there knee deep in jealousy. I was almost begging to be let back in his world. I was straddling that line, knowing that our time had pasted but holding on with every last sob. I sat there and told him everything I could, and on the other line wasn’t the answer I wanted. I was used to everything eventually catching up between us, it didn’t this time. It wasn’t my turn for a five star, romantic ending. When I got off the phone, crushed and disappointed something inside of me snapped. I saw the end of an era and contemplated all that we had been through. I was done. I knew my time was up. I stopped looking at this love as a must have, and started to let go.
Another could literally bring me to tears, so here goes nothing. I was head over heels, reach for the stars, really in love with someone this year. I love him now as a friend, although I got a little lost along the way. I would do anything for him, and repeatedly have. Yet, he has done the same for me. I thought when he got a girlfriend my world was over, because every weekend was consumed with Danny and Lindsey days. When the girlfriend finally became an issue he made it a point not to shut me out. At prom when he got the girlfriend he stayed with me, his unfortunate date, even though his girlfriend was a few heartbeats away. He ditched another girl that he had thought of going to prom with, so he could take his best friend instead. For my birthday he threw me a surprise get together, because he knew I needed a pick me up, and how much I love birthdays. All through this I felt, and still do feel such a connection. He’s the person who I tell my thoughts, my hopes, and my dreams to. He’s the person I spend a most of my time with. He watches terrible chick flicks with me, and I watch gory action movies with him. It is a give and take. We know exactly who the other person is, inside and out and choose to stay together anyway. He has seen me at my worse (when I’m upset and crying), and my best (prom and other exciting events). I’ve seen him hit rock bottom, and I’ve seen him when he is at his peak. Yeah, it gets bumpy sometimes; the road isn’t always nice and paved. Yet, I would rather love him like a friend, and have this stable relationship than not have him at all. That’s how I knew that this was love. Maybe it isn’t passionate love where your want to be with someone, but I love his as my closest confidant. We yell, we scream ,we fight, we laugh, and we cry together. He isn’t a big one for apologies, but when we got into our biggest real fight to date he forgave me. I thought I had lost him, I thought I really screwed it up, then he texted me with this heartfelt apology. I never thought it was possible, but even a friendship love can be unbreakable.
This blog also changed my perspective, I do say love too much but it made me think about what I really do love.
So here’s a list:
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Mr. Seaman teasing me
4. Vanilla Ice Cream
5. Snowy Days
6. Curling Up with a Good Book
7. Phone Calls or text messages. (usually cute ones from 1 or 2)
I wanted a quick list of the things i could think of that i really love.
Part I
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Okay, I’M sorry, but am I the only one who’s always felt this line is complete crap? I know it’s supposed to be so touching and meaningful and all that. But the first time I heard this, I was like, what? It seems to me that love is about the exact opposite. I think that love is saying you’re sorry, over and over again, and still meaning it. Love is saying sorry even after you don’t mean it anymore. Love is forgiving someone.
Love is… a feeling that stays embedded deep inside you. It’s the feeling that you never want to let someone or something go, an emotion that just through having it makes you feel fuller, more complete. Not necessarily the feeling that without it, I am less then myself, but rather the feeling that with it, I am more than me. Love is something that feels nourishing, and warm, and safe. Love is sanctuary.
Love is also something you’d fight for. A feeling, a person, a moment that you will fight to keep. Something you never want to lose. Something it hurts to just imagine losing. Love is when you go above and beyond and up and down and all around, and not ask anything in return. You just do it because you love. One of my favorite songs, “Just like Heaven,” by the Cure, really says what I mean.
“‘Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream’ she said
‘The one that makes me laugh’ she said
And threw her arms around my neck
‘Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you’
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
‘Why are you so far away?’ she said
‘Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you’
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream
Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me
You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven”
And that, my friends, is love. Except hopefully without the “alone above a raging sea” part.
Part II
I truly love (not in any specific order):
My dogs
My family (yes, even Ben)
My closest friends
The precious little bits of alone time I’m able to snag in my house
Reading
Music
My garden
The wilderness in my backyard
And that’s it. That’s all that I really and truly love. I could say I love watching
TV and movies, but to be honest, I only really truly love doing this when I’m alone in my room. And I could say that I love answering questions on Jeopardy, but really, I only love this when I’m beating my family at it. So there you go. I really and truly love a total of eight things. Kind of sad, but then, I bet some people have even less.
Putting a classification on love does change things. I say I love things all the time, but really, I just like them a lot. And I’ve realized that some things I love I only love if they are connected with the eight things I have listed above. Still, I’m probably not going to stop using the word love in less-than-true-love situations. After all, it’s the only word we’ve got. Unless I start tacking on about five hundred “really” s to “like” every time I want to describe something I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really like.
Part one:
L-O-V-E, four simple letters brought together to convey a strong, universal, complex message. Love was one of the first few words placed in my vocabulary as a child. We were all taught to say “I love you” to our parents and family, so at a young age it was embedded in my head as just a phrase you say to people that you are close to. I knew there was meaning attached to it, because I love my family unconditionally. I don’t know what I would do without my close family being there for me on a daily basis. My mom was the one who did teach me though that “I love you” was more than just a sentence. In eighth grade I had a boyfriend, and every time we talked on the phone he would say “I love you” to me. I didn’t know better so once in awhile I would say it back to him. My mom heard me one time and asked why I said that to him. She then continued to explain that love had a more powerful meaning and should be saved for someone I truly did love with my whole heart. She said that if I kept saying it, it would lose its meaning and have no value for when I really did mean to say it. This made me think awhile, like how will I truly know when to say it and if it will be right? I didn’t want those words to lose their meaning, because how else would I be able to express it? We are not like the Eskimos with thirty two ways to say it and be able to differentiate between the different kinds of love, but through time I have been able try and figure out what love is and how it does affect me.
In my eyes, love can be classified into three categories. Love for family and friends, love for a significant other, and love for favorites in life, like coke and peanuts (which I want to try… kind of). Love for a family was just innately felt for me. The love is defined by that loyalty and trust found within one another, and that constant care of one another on an ever day basis. I love my parents without question because I know that if they suddenly died I would be lost without them. My mom keeps me grounded and is there for me no matter what, and my dad is one of the only people in the world who can brighten up one of my most depressing dark days. He is the funniest guy I know and can keep me laughing until my sides hurt. My sister, we can fight nonstop (like this week) and yet both of us know that we have each others’ backs. I will always be there for her whether she likes it or not, and we just have developed a bond that can never be broken. At the end of the day, I know I can come home and my family will be there waiting to hear about my day and be there returning the love I feel for them.
Love for favorite things can be determined by how much passion you feel towards it. Whether it is that adrenaline rush every time you hit the best forehand you have ever hit, and the way the ball sounds as it bounces off the sweet spot of the racket soaring over the net, or the smell of the early morning grass and dew as you race across the field heading towards the ball, with cleats tearing apart the wet, soft ground. The love for these kinds of things is defined through the enthusiasm put in, and the pure dedication you feel for it. One example for me is that I know that I love banana milkshakes because every time I drink one it is almost like a calming affect. It is just something I crave and want all the time, and when I am in a bad mood I drink one as a little pick-me-up. I just love the feeling of the cool sweet flavor of the ice cream mixed with the chunks of bananas. They are all just certain little things in my life that make me happy and are in the category of things I love (which will be listed later).
Love for a boyfriend or girlfriend is a whole different variety of love. I have said I love you to two different boys in my life. One was the one in eighth grade, when I know I did not mean it. The other was another boy that I went out with last summer. I thought I loved him. There was something about him that made me fall for him, and I really do think I might have been in love with him as naïve as I was. My aunt and best friend thought I was silly for telling them that and that I did not love him, but honestly I thought long and hard about this. Why do adults shake their heads when teenagers tell one another that they love each other? How can those people make assumptions about how these young people are feeling? I think that we can love another person, it might not be the love of two older more experienced people but it is most definitely love. It is the love we are capable of feeling at this age. It is that passion you feel when you look into their eyes and feel like everything has stopped moving and you are the only two people there. It is that tingly feeling you get when you see him walking towards you, and that absolutely breathless “first-kiss” sensation every time he kisses you. There is that immediate connection you feel when you hold hands and just every time he touches you it is like your body shivers in excitement. It is the kind of love that makes you happy every single second of the day, and makes you just smile for no reason. Lately I have been thinking about saying “I love you” to a certain boy, but we have only been together for technically two months though it feels so much longer. He makes me feel like this, yet the length of time makes me question whether it is love or not. I think though that the amount of love felt towards another person cannot be judged by hours or days or weeks, but just the way you feel inside. Love is a too personal and powerful emotion to be defined in a few short dictionary style words, it is more of an emotion that needs to be figured out individually because I think it means something different to everyone.
I thought long and hard about this list of things I love and have come up with this:
1. My family
2. My friends
3. Being with my boyfriend
4. Banana milkshakes
5. Getting manicures/ pedicures
6. Rainy days
7. The beach
8. Text messages/ phone calls from my boyfriend
9. The color pink
10. When my favorite song comes on the radio
11. When someone makes me smile and laugh
12. Dancing for fun though I am terrible
13. Summer 2009--- even though it hasn’t come yet it will be great : )
Classifying love has been able to make me put things in perspective and realize how great my life really is. It has made me appreciate that I do have so many things that make my life happy that I really am grateful. It made me think about things that I actually do love and things that I really do not. I don’t want to overuse the word love, but I want to be able to listen to my mom’s wise words, and save it up for things that I can honestly say I love.
Oh, love. You see, I don’t really like that word; partly because of our love symposium and partly because of my history with it. I understand that we overuse the word, that is has lost all special meaning. But to me, it is still one word that I have yet to share with anyone. Of course I love my family, but beyond that, I don’t think I love anyone else. You see, love means something more abstract. Love isn’t just caring unconditionally for someone, or an amazing connection. Love is trusting someone beyond yourself, love is yearning to be with someone every hour of the day, love is thinking about losing someone and beginning to tear up, just at the thought of it. So for me, I may only love two people in my life, but that bond that I have with those two people is one that I can’t form with anyone else, at least not right now. A characteristic of my love is trust. And although it may seem so simple, trust really isn’t that easy. I adore my friends, and whenever I am in a rut, I run to them. But to be honest, and I have told them this, they don’t know half of the secrets that I keep to myself. And that may be the one reason why it is hard for me to connect with a special someone. I am afraid to trust anyone with my deep dark secrets. I am afraid to get hurt, and in the long run, I am afraid to be alone. And I work on it, everyday, trying to let people in, but it’s hard. Because one has to learn to love and trust themselves before they can do so to others.
You see I have groups of people in my life. My family, who I love with all my heart, they know me, honestly know me. And although I may not be able to trust every single one of them, I love them more than I love anyone else. My friends, who I ‘can’t live without-like’, almost to the step of loving, but not quiet there. They are the people that I console when I am pissed, happy, giddy, exhausted. And although there are times when I could live without them, 99% of the time I wish I was with them. Then there are the couple of people I ‘practically-love’, the ones that I wish I could love, but it’s hard to let myself love. It’s complicated, but I get it.
I think I have a much different perspective of the word. Maybe because I yearn to love someone other than my family, or maybe because I wish the word wasn’t thrown around, I just want it to mean something more. I don’t like that everyone says they love stupid things, and I admit, I do it to. But it would be so much easier if we had another word for it, but loving someone is totally different than loving something.
Lindsey, when we were saying how we thought our blogs would be so much alike. I look back now, and they aren’t! But your blog was adorable, so you!
I tack the word love on to many things: watching the stars at night, eating chocolate when it's that time of the month, getting dressed up, snuggling in bed, getting passed the soccer ball with an open lane down the side of the field and making a killer cross, observing crocodiles at the zoo, running through the woods, listening to Matty Nathanson on my iPod, going to Brothers pizza with my friends, my blanky that I've had since I was a baby, laying out by the pool with my sisters, holding hands with my boyfriend, eating a yummy breakfast, walking around bare foot, changing out of jeans and into sweat pants, seeing my cousins from Ohio. I say that I love silly things each and every day, without even realizing it. But the truth is, I don't, technically, love them half as much as I say I do. I might really like eating Kit-Kats and listening to my iPod or playing frisbee with my dog, but do I love these things? No. I define love as an intense connection that one cannot live happily without. Under this definition there are only a few things I truly love, all of which happen to be people.
In the big picture, material objects are not important to me. I do not love them, though I claim to. I could live without my favorite pair of jeans or my uggs. I could survive without bobby pins and my pearl earrings. I have said that I love these things, but I do not need them, and there is no connection. Therefore I realize that love is not the right word. No where near it.
In addition, I also profess love for actions. Like I love laughter, kisses, holding hands, inside jokes, deep conversations, happy tears, meaningful looks, etc. I feel an affinity for these things, they make me happy. But do I have a connection with them? Nope. Therefore, they too deserve another love word.
Now, onto true love...the connection. According to my definition, there are only a few people that I truly love. According to my definition I should only use the word love to describe my family, friends, and boyfriend. Because I feel a true connection with all the people I love. I could not live happily without advice from my mom, affection from Mike, laughter from Molly. I could not bear to go on without the people that I love.
"Love is… a feeling that stays embedded deep inside you. It’s the feeling that you never want to let someone or something go, an emotion that just through having it makes you feel fuller, more complete"
-Sarah Crane
Sarah I loved your blog. This part especially seemed to agree with what I was trying to say. Love can lift you up and place you somewhere better. And it's the kind of feeling that makes you never want to let it go. When you love someone, you feel as though you cannot and do not want to live without them. The connection is so strong that life with their absence would be beyond miserable. This is why I dread when Mike leaves for college. But, I will make it. Anyhow, I really liked, not loved, what you had to say! :)
Linds:
"Mr. Cervi once told us how our eyes automatically go to the right answer on the page, we just have to catch which one it is before we confuse ourselves. I think it’s the same way with love, our heart automatically goes to what we want, but our logic confuses us, and gives us pause."
-I thought that was a very interesting idea and never thought about 'love' that way. IN a way it makes sense even though it seems cliche to me of course. But I think you're right; our heart usually knows what we love but is covered by conscience and other things in our mind that keep us from seeing.
Lindsey-
"Mr. Cervi once told us how our eyes automatically go to the right answer on the page, we just have to catch which one it is before we confuse ourselves. I think it’s the same way with love, our heart automatically goes to what we want, but our logic confuses us, and gives us pause."
I agree with Carly, I never thought of it this way, but it really gives me a whole new perception of things. It is so true, and even though we know that it might be the right answer to the problem our mind does us the great honor of making us second guess ourselves. We should learn to stick to our gut reaction.
What do I love… What do I love… Good question. I toss the term about much too often.
I love listening to vocal music with words I cannot understand. There’s something powerful in ancient, ringing tones, beyond my mind’s ability to understand. It doesn’t matter if the words are uninspired, banal, or downright stupid to people who can understand them. With the easy amazement of a child, I will listen, entranced, for hours.
I love reading Mallory, and ancient poets. The world they present… I don’t expect the stories to be true, but the small details would be. And there is something beautiful in those details… On Christmas eve, the cake was divided into four parts. One part was devoted to Mary, another to Joseph, and the last to Jesus. These were given to the poor. The family shared out the last part. I cannot say if this custom was universally used, or if they were fabricated by an over-poetic author. But wouldn’t it be wonderful if it was true?
And then, if by happy happenstance, you find another source confirming what you heard before… Then the wonder is compounded. Nothing compares to that feeling of triumph. I love it.
I love long, draping fabrics in jewel-bright colors. I love to wrap it about myself, tie it, and stare into the mirror, or just look at the copper web of my hair over the brilliant cloth.
While I enjoy handicrafts, I really love showing off my work.
I love my family, in that I would be lost without them. But that emotion doesn’t seem as binding these days: I could easily take off and leave, and never miss them. It won’t be too long before I will: I don’t plan on sticking around after college. Holidays will be enough for me.
And of course, I was convinced that I loved that kid, for a while. Still haven’t talked myself out of it, which proves that I’m stupider than I like to admit. Enough said on that.
But I’m starting to doubt that I really love any of that. I could lose it all in the morning, and, after the initial shock, I could go on my way without changing. I don’t think I have ever been in love, or ever really felt that emotion. (I’m starting to think the only real emotions I’ve felt are triumph and frustration. Happiness, anger, sorrow… I don’t know how I’d begin to describe or define them. )
But I’ll define Love as a tie too strong to be broken without breaking the person who feels it. It will hold forever. It must go beyond devotion, beyond attraction, beyond admiration.
I don’t know if the emotion I described actually exists, or if I’m just blowing it out of proportion. My main idea of love comes from old novels. Then, it drives men to become something more than mortal. Perhaps it’s impossible in this, the mortal age.
Love is a very complicated emotion, idea and feeling, for its connotations vary from person to person. But like most of us, I say I love A LOT of things: soccer, scoring goals, summer, making bracelets, eating ice cream, listening to pump-up songs, girl’s nights, bonfires, laying in the sun, wearing comfy clothes, having deep conversations. I throw around the word ‘love’ almost every day, but comparing these things with MY definition of love, I can see I really don’t love them half as much as I say I do.
My definition of love: A deep appreciation, affection and connection felt between one and another person or animal. When you are completely happy with all that the other half is—accepting its imperfections and seeing them as anything but—and letting it bring out the best in you. Then, realizing you wouldn’t be the same without that person, animal or idea/feeling in your life.
When I think of love, certain words/characteristics come to mind:
-Loyalty
-Understanding
-Caring/Kindness
-Passion
-Appreciation
-Affection
-Devotion
But you see, not all of these words can be placed when saying you love ‘something.’ That’s where we’ve gone wrong not coming up with enough ways to distinguish between loving certain things.
For instance, I do not think it is possible to love material things, at all. It doesn’t fit into my definition of what I think it is either. But I do believe we can strongly like them, and here would be a good place to have a word similar to love, but less meaningful, because we’re talking about inanimate objects which can show no emotion.
Now here’s where things get tricky for me. I do love soccer. However, only in a way. It can’t love me back, so we cannot share the real love we’ve all talking about because there is no connection with me and ‘soccer,’ the sport/idea. It comes from the people I play with or the emotions I get from playing, but not from the sport itself.
On to what I really love. Well, I love my family even though I’m going through a stage of ‘disliking’ them at the moment. I definitely love my friends. I talk to them more than I talk to my family, so they help me a lot more and I can relate to them. And last, I do love my boyfriend. I’m not saying he’s going to be the one I marry, but as of right now, I wouldn’t be the same person if he wasn’t in my life.
Carlisle,
"because the thing you love should be something that you can have a relationship with (not sappy love relationship) but a relationship in which the two separate parties can bring out characteristics in another that may have been hidden."
I believe you make a very good point here. The 'love' connection you make with a person/animal (not necessarily the ooey gooey kind hehe) should make you so happy and confident, that naturally it brings out the best in you. With out even realizing it, these hidden traits come alive and, if the love is real, will be appreciated and accepted by the other half of the love connection :) .
LOVE…
Loss
Of
Valuable
Energy
I’m kidding! I’m kidding! I’m kidding!
Moving on, I was watching a film on the Civil Rights movement in my history class when an elderly black woman was commenting on Martin Luther King’s speeches said this , “If you don’t have something to die for, then what do you have to live for?” I was awestruck by this comment and getting to the point, to me that something is love. Love is complex. You can’t really explain it, it is just there. It is a…connection that involves all emotions and feelings put into one package. It does not mean that your life is going to be overwhelmed with happiness at all times. That would be creepy. It just gives you the little bit of hope and care that we all need to live our days pleasantly.
Love is everything you always wanted and everything you ever feared. It involves courage and trust. It is a chance you have to take. Sometimes it turns out marvelously, but just like any other emotion, sometimes it hurts. It is a part of life. It is fragile. It makes people feel amazing and depressed in a five minute span. I always find it peculiar that most people seek love when they do not even know what it is. It is like seeking something that you do not know is there. But somehow it makes the world go round and that is the most perplexing thing about it.
I love my family, my friends, and my dreams. My family may not always be supportive of me but they are always there when it counts which makes me feel cared about. They provide me with shelter, clothes, water, and most importantly, food. =) My friends make me feel like I am not alone in this world and always find ways to make me smile. It is nice to know that I can be mean at times and they will still love me the same. HaHa! My dreams outline my goals in life and give me the hope to live my days. And they are also a good break from reality.
I had all the things I loved in mind when I wrote down my definition of love. I know that love is not perfect. It makes me want to become a trichotillomanic but at the same time leaves me at ease. It involves care, passion, devotion, confusion, being scared, and trust. I do not completely understand it but it is okay because I do not think it was ever meant to be understood.
Everything that I love is sealed in my heart but there is always a tiny opening so new people and things could come in or out if they choose.
Bye!
Sarah C.
Your blog was cute and funny as always. I loved this paragraph.
"Love is… a feeling that stays embedded deep inside you. It’s the feeling that you never want to let someone or something go, an emotion that just through having it makes you feel fuller, more complete. Not necessarily the feeling that without it, I am less then myself, but rather the feeling that with it, I am more than me. Love is something that feels nourishing, and warm, and safe. Love is sanctuary."
It ws awesomely worded. I couldn't have said it better myself. The one million really's really caught my eye too. HaHa! Great Job! Bye!
Linds-
"Mr. Cervi once told us how our eyes automatically go to the right answer on the page, we just have to catch which one it is before we confuse ourselves. I think it’s the same way with love, our heart automatically goes to what we want, but our logic confuses us, and gives us pause."
Well, I know two other people already commented this, but I really like this. I never thought of it in the way that you put it, but it seems so logical. Plus, I'm one of those who believe in the silly phrase, "Love at first sight," so I think this is a really great connection you made. Nice linds. =)
Part One
It is odd how such a tiny word has so many different meanings. What is even odder is how no one can define love, a word used millions a times week, when asked, at least right away. If you asked someone what does difficult mean, they could answer you is three seconds, but love takes a little more brainpower to define. For church, I am often caught betwixt the paradox that is “You must love everyone but you don’t have to like them.” Wait! I thought love was more powerful than like? What in the world? This is where I feel I have to start in order to find my own definition of love.
The only possible explanation for this seemingly contradictory statement is like and love have at least a few key differences. For starters, if you like someone or something, you desire them/it, with varying levels of intensity, to be in your life. You feel it would create a dramatic, possibly life-altering, change to your every day life. If you “like” something it gives you pleasure, it assuages you, it comforts, whether it is money or a person. You can like inanimate objects, but according to this statement and my interpretation, you can’t “love” them.
Love, in its simplest form, is the desire to protect someone from harm. This is the only way this old adage could make any sense to me. You must love everyone, meaning you would not wish harm upon them and would help them in a time of need. For me, no matter how angry I could be, I would never be able to wish someone dead, or their family experience misfortune. Even murders and rapists, I wouldn’t be able to sentence to death. While I could easily throw them in the brig, taking their life is not something I feel I should have the power to do. But back on topic.
My definition of love would then be the inclination to help and protect other living creatures, no matter how horrible they are. Meaning that all of the things, not people, we “love”, we truly LIKE. Like, in my book is much more powerful than love because love is almost instinctual. Love has just simply evolved into what we know it as today.
Part two
The embodiment of love, it characteristics, takes the form of a guardian angel. Angels are supposedly emotionless; they merely fulfill their duties without questioning or getting attached. The “job” of a guardian angel is to protect, plain and simple. Emotions don’t have to back these angels, same thing with love. Angels are powerful, mysterious creatures just as love. They appear whenever, sometimes when completely unexpected. Neither cares about race, or creed, or gender, or brainpower, they just are and act upon everyone, usually using other people, even animals, as mediums. You don’t have to know someone and love them, meaning feeling that you should protect them. We love our families, our pets, our friends, and even our enemies. Truthfully, I don’t think anyone, deep down, could say they don’t love a particular person, no matter how much dislike and animosity presents itself.
You don’t have to like someone, but I feel, innately, you do love them.
That said, the list of things of “love” is both short and long.
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Teachers
4. Strangers
5. Pets
6. Wild Animals
7. Enemies….
In sum, every living thing. But in order for that to make any sense, you must really look beyond the conventional definition/notion of love. But if that is the list you wish to have, here it is. The things I like:
1. Talking with Friends
2. Reading Great Books
3. Watching Movies
4. Music-both playing it and listening to it
5. Trying Food (any kind)
6. Laughing with family
7. Waking up to the sun
8. Enjoying a beautiful Spring day
9. Listening to a rainstorm
10. Playing games (video, card, board…)
11. And many more things.
Thinking back to before I had to wrap my brain around the paradox above, I would say, and still frequently do, that I love everything I liked, anything that made me happy. I feel that will continue indefinitely. Does that change my perspective on love? Not really. I think that maybe, it would be better if love had two definitions, the one everyone uses and the one that makes that saying make sense. And if not have two definitions, at least more words. But for me love isn’t the usual definition, it takes on a very different meaning. However, as far as “like” is concerned I feel it is somewhat lackluster and that we should have different words for the varying degrees and things we like. Liking my family isn’t the same as liking ice cream.
I stood with my arms folded across my chest and one leg overlapping the other. In front of me, I watched as the river slowly turned from a dark blue to silvery white and finally to a rare dark gray from our front door. Looking out, I could see the young couple standing on our dock and slowly begin to turn their palms to face the sky. The clouds had transitioned from a soft cry to hysterical tears, overcastting a depressed shadow above the trees. The girl took hold of the boy’s hand getting ready to run, but he didn’t move and instead looked her straight in the eyes for a moment as if getting ready to tell her a big secret. Just then, a low thunder was cued in, the girl stepped forward, and the kiss lied perfectly harmonized with a stuttering appearance of lightening. It’s just like in the movies, I told myself as the trumpet solo in the song “L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole played in the back of my mind, blocking out the increasing volume of water droplets upon our porch. I smirked as the couple stood on our dock, giving them one more good look before I went back to my summer reading.
Today, I look back on this moment and dub it my first true introduction to love; a noun which is used to express a liking towards practically anything, but takes on a very particular meaning when applied to romantic love. I do not doubt the fact that there are hundreds of categories belonging to love. Overall, however, I believe love could be defined as an over-exaggerated, short-lived state of thought used to express favor towards a subject or idea, in hopes of achieving eternal happiness or mere acknowledgement. It’s heard before altars, typed into phones, written within fiction, shouted within distance range of a new purse, weaped within courtrooms, savored in a French accent when wine tasting, and preached upon urban crosswalks. The four-letter word is redundant and over-used within western culture, and the meaning has lost much of its influence. Nevertheless, it would be wrong to blame people alone for this redundancy because we do only have one word to express the emotion. We have no choice but to turn to the word when we refer to our brothers and sisters as well as to chocolate ice cream or warm weather. The letters have not been lost, though, because even when they are said in certain circumstances, the reaction caused within others is still alive and well. Personally, I do use the word “love’’ often, but I also use the word “like” just as often.
Perhaps using the word “love” more often has just been a natural reaction to its power and indication of commitment. Familiarizing ourselves with it has caused us to be more comfortable with its usage. Curiosity may also be another reason for its frequent use. None of us have been able to collectively come up with a concrete definition for love, and therefore, many of us have been left inquisitive. From my parents, I have learned that a few good representations of love would be a mind-numbing commitment, a solely financial business, a forced smile, expected meals, and a cyclic confinement. I have never felt a sense of genuineness in my parent’s relationship. Yet, one of the things that seems to bother me the most about their love is the fact that there are some things in the relationship that are expected. As the woman, you are expected to make breakfast, expected to know where their shirt is, expected to quit work to take care of the kids when they are toddlers, and expected to basically confine yourself to the home and never be given the chance to travel.
The love that I am looking for is much different than this. To me, love is not something that is meant to be definite. Personally, I see nothing wrong with getting married at an early age and divorcing a year later. As time changes, people change, opportunities change, attitudes change, and preferences change. Besides, why would you want to be married to someone for the rest of your life who isn’t happy with the relationship? You would be wasting their time and yours. There is nothing wrong with feeling completely lost once the relationship is broken, but it is better to look at it in a different perspective. Even in the kind of love you share with your family or friends, it does not always have to be life-long. For instance, my grandmother was one of either five or six children in her family. Just last year, I was introduced to only one of them who I had never seen before in my life. When they all became old enough to leave the house, they agreed not to see each other again because they never got along with one another. Love for a friend can also become very weak at times, and eventually lead to an end.
I also agree with August Boatwright in saying that love is something which everyone should feel at least once in their life. I have frequently heard from others that when experiencing the romantic type of love, you usually feel butterflies in your stomach, your heart begin to race, or have constant thoughts about that person. I have experienced these feelings once before, and quite frankly, I hated it. I believe true love is much different than this. Instead, when you’re around that person, they’re your best friend; someone you can have a good time with, and someone who might even be the exact opposite of you. You don’t feel nervous around them, but you do feel a rather unfamiliar connection with them.
I have no way of knowing yet if the kind of love portrayed in movies lives and breathes beyond the scope of the camera, but I do hope so. Love cannot be found in paying the electric bill or establishing college funds. Instead, it’s that moment they turn to you and ask you if you want to dance just as you were about to turn off all the lights. It’s that moment your hands clasp together as your flight takes off. It’s when they sneak up behind you and make you drop the cake you just took out of the oven, but give you a big hug and offer to take you out to dinner in hopes of making up for it. It’s when they find you after you run off, and apologize repeatedly for their mistake. It’s when they see the fear in your eyes just as you are about to say your vows, and decide to postpone the wedding until you are ready. It’s when they run back outside in the rain to save your favorite pair of shoes, without you even having to ask. The stories could go on forever, all of which seem plausible, but none of which I have witnessed right before my own eyes.
I must also not neglect the fact that love is applicable to various connections. You express love for your cousin in Virginia with your annual Christmas card. As you watch your grandparents come up the drive way and reluctantly go out to give them a hug, you express love. While leaning over to place a bouquet of flowers on your best friend’s grave who died just last year from cancer, you express love. Although it has damaged the significance of the word, it can also be applied to objects simply for other’s recognition. When you claim to love an object, it is usually spoken to someone other than yourself to offer them more information about yourself. Since we have only been given one word to express this recognition, I suppose we have no choice. Altogether, love is indefinite, significant, supportive, optional, and applicable. So, the things in my life which I love are travel, jeans, airplanes and subways, writing, being busy, piano music, photographs, baking angel food cake, and family. My perspective on love is basically the same as what it was before I wrote this because for a long time, I have felt as though the word has increasingly been losing its significance. Before the economy became slightly depressed, divorce rates were at fifty-three percent. Again, I do not have a problem at all with divorce, but with such a percentage, it seems as if the word was being thrown around without a care in the world. Unfortunately, now people feel forced to stay together to save their money. Sometimes there never seems to be a win-win situation with marriage.
Am I expecting too much out of love? Most likely. I might even be wasting my time looking for such a relationship. At times, I’m not sure if it’s better to look for it or wait for it. One thing I do know, however, is that it should not be given up on. I couldn’t agree more with Jennifer Aniston when she said in “Rumor Has It” that love is something that you can live without, but just choose not to. It would be nice to come up with a few new words to express our liking towards certain subjects, but in a sense, the wide application of the word “love” has brought out an admirable side to human beings. We have chosen, on our own, to apply it to so many different aspects. Perhaps the truth is that we strive to achieve it so often that we feel impelled to expand its usage. Throughout history, this word has already been used to bring us back together in times of struggle. Its meaning is weakening, but has yet to fail.
In response to Meg Song:
“I don’t really know how that makes you look at me, but I assure you I am fixing this problem in my own way, by keeping my heart guarded with a steel wall a mile thick. =] Try to break that.” I have to say, that sounds like a good idea. Although I don’t believe love can ever last forever, I do know that it must hurt when the connection is broken. Hence, it is better to always guard your heart. “People are raised differently; thus there perceptions of love grow differently.” I also could not agree more with this statement because just like Lily Owens, she was born into this world with a very different perception of love which was greatly impacted by further relationships she was introduced to throughout her life. Furthermore, I also liked the fact that your “OMG love” definition mentioned the fact that this type of love is often used to sway a person’s decisions. I had not thought about it in that way, but after you mentioned the nail painting example, it made a lot of sense. I also like the fact that you associate love with beauty because, when you think of it, its effect upon the world is usually very beautiful. Lastly, just as a suggestion for a song that might make you think of love, you might want to check out the song “Symphonie” by Silbermond. It’s in German and I don’t really know what kind of music you’re into, but you might like it. The singer has a great voice, and the lyrics are pretty good too.
Oh, Jeeze. Why do we always have to do blogs on this I generally try
and tend to avoid? Darn!
Okay, love is... well, I actually have no idea what "love" is. See, I
try to avoid truly meaning the word every time I say it, it's just a
habit of mine I suppose. I just naturally try to avoid any and all
things that generally entail some form of commitment, which I strongly
believe love does. Plus, I just really have a strong distaste for the
word in general; it gets thrown about with little to no respect for
what its initial meaning may have been and so, to that ends, I just
don't like the word. Don't get me wrong because I don't mean to be
hypocritical, I'm not saying that I don't use the word ( I am often
overheard using it to refer to my feelings towards cheese, writing,
Matthew for the wonderful job he does for me in posting my blogs- <3
matt- gymnastics, friends, trips to the zoo, songs, my cat, and my
relationship with Transformers) but what I'm trying to say is that I
find it difficult to use for anything stronger than my general
appreciations and enjoyments since I use the word so much. And
especially due to the fact that we do have other words to describe
these feelings of compliance and thanks but generally tend to still
lean towards "love" due to the fact that it naturally has a stronger
connotation than the others. Only when I'm writing do I ever find
myself using the word "love" to stand for something... more I guess.
So as you can imagine, doing a blog on a concept that I have deemed
foreign and usually "off limits" in my life is naturally going to be
somewhat of a challenge.
I suppose it's time to roll up my sleeves and get ready to get dirty.
Hold up, love, Myra's-a-coming!
A few years ago, I wrote this one scene between two people trying to
determine what love necessarily was, in which the guy openly asks his
female companion: "Love, love, love! And what- may I ask- IS love?" To
which she replies: "Depends on the definition that you want. Love has
several meanings. It can mean to like, to have fondness for, to enjoy.
Or it could be more serious than that. It could mean to unionize, to
mate or the emotion related to human courtship. Scientifically, it
could be the biochemical reaction that occurs when hormones are induced
around a suitable mate in order to ensure that our genetic material
gets passed on to the next generation. Which would you prefer?"
Sappy, I know, but for a long time, those were the only ways that I
really bothered to view love, and generally it was from the scientific
standpoint too. And generally, that is how I view love. But lately
I've been able to understand that there are many different forms of
love in the physical sense, emotional sense, and spiritual sense of the
world.
Before I start defining what I think that love is or could be, I will
say now that I do believe that we can live through life, quite
comfortably, without love. Shocking statement, I know, but I do
believe it. To explain, the way I will define "love" is a way I have
never experienced it before and, saying that I am rather comfortable
and content with my life as it is now, I will say that you can live
without it. In fact, I probably will live the majority of my life
without it. (As many of my friends and I tend to jest, the day Myra
finds someone that she actually loves and/or finds a man will be the
day fire rains down from the sky, the Earth's waters will be as blood,
the ground will shatter, and all will know that Myra has found a man!
Mwah-ha-ha!!!)
Anyway, this is how I would define love:
Love is when you are willing to give everything you have and are for
someone and, after all of that, you still feel as if you haven't given
enough.
That's a rather cut-and-dry definition, but I feel as though it fits.
I also feel that this one can extend to other things also, no just
family or a significant/ insignificant other. So I rather like this
definition if I may say so myself.
The only problem with it is that I have never felt this way towards
anything before, that need to give of myself to another. And perhaps
that is a good thing, it will let me know when I am "in love" as they
call it. But I really don't know. Nor do I care, really, I don't. I
mean, sure, I do things for my family and friends, but even then I'll
say "Enough is enough" and stop. I'm just not that giving of a person
when I think about it.
Since I seem unable to love (ha-ha) I'll just give off a list of my
likes:
(not in any specific order, FYI)
Family/friends
animals
writing
music
Transformers
cheese
fruit
food in general
DOG tags
SarahC: I agree with the whole "never having to say sorry" nonsense,
that is just stupid. I mean, you should say that you're sorry for ever
little stupid thing you do. It would be better if it said "never
having to worry about not being forgiven." That sounds more accurate!
Linds: Your blog was beautiful, simply gorgeous! And I can't believe
that I spelled gorgeous right on my first try! But what you said about
the instance between the two boys was really fantastics: what a great
way to show that love doesn't have to be terribly specified and can be
one of friendship! Way to go girl! >w<
Meg Song
I really like your blog. I think your categorization of love maybe just what we need. My definition is different than most but I think you have the right idea. There are definitely different levels of like or love and we should show that. By the way, I couldn't stop playing What is Love?? over and over in my head, thanks.
Sarah C
I really x500 liked your blog :) I thought it was very you. I thought it was funny and clever.
Love had lost its true meaning. We associate loving out soul mate with loving a coach bag. But when trying to think if another word to replace “love” my mind is blank. I have thought about it for about an hour a came up with nothing. I tried the words desire and adore but they sounded way too formal to use in everyday language. And they don’t fit the true definition of love.
Love- I feeling that means you trust and believe in someone more than yourself. Love is a tingly (makes your hair stand up) kind-of feeling. It’s when you have so much confidence in the other person that they won’t hurt. They would never do anything to hurt to and will stay like that for the rest of their life. They won’t and their love for you won’t change. That is my definition: oh so sappy.
Love is pretty basic. It involves a mutual understanding of each other. It’s where you can trust a person blindly and know that they will catch you when you fall. It’s when you have full faith in someone and sometimes to an extent that is more than you. You know that they will not hurt you intentionally and will always be true to you. But the main thing about love is that it lasts forever. It never ends. A person that you may have broken your heart and in rage some words must have been tossed around but you never stop loving that person. Because you still know that they are who you fell in love with. You know if you never had that little fight that you would grow old together. That’s is what love should be like.
Well I am not going to lie, I am one of those girls that says “I love …” a lot. But doing this blog and putting it down in automatic black ink has really got me thinking. I mean I probably say it many more time but may be not so frequently. Because I now know my exact feelings about the word love and I know what it is. I know what it means to me and why it’s so deep. I remember that symposium we had on love. That had me thinking then to but that was a while ago so you forget things. Truthfully I forgot but this reminded what that word means to me and why I treasure it so much. It has shown me myself and my thoughts that I never would have pondered upon without this blog. I now know the value the word “love” has in my mind and in my heart. I plan to stick to it but I don’t know for how long. Sometimes you do fall in love with coach wedges.
Carly:
“Since the word has been ‘thrown around’ as much as it is, it seems like the hardest thing to do is place a definition beside it.”
I completely agree with you. It means to so many different things to everyone that there is no exact definition that everyone can agree upon. And so the amount of times that it is used throughout the day amazes me because of the deep meaning it has to everyone.
The way we perceive love is based largely upon our values, our personality, and especially the way we are raised. But frankly, I feel as if the word ‘love’ is thrown around so much, that it has lost all of the value it was initially invented for. There is no word that can describe the passion you feel, whether small or large, besides love. Love is such a loaded word, however. I wish there was something in the middle of ‘like’ and ‘love.’ That would make my emotions so much easier to describe. Because I, along with the rest of us, say I love arbitrary things on a daily basis, such as my favorite movie, or my favorite store. I don’t feel a zealous passion toward those things, but saying I like those things doesn’t seem to quite clarify my feelings. I wish there were 32 ways to say ‘love’ in the English language.
But anyway, as I previously stated, there are certain types of love. The exaggerated kind when you’re stating that you love some type of petty object or thing. The security love you feel with your family and friends. And the avid love you feel with someone significant in your life. But love doesn’t just blossom on the first time you meet someone. You know you love someone or something when you can’t live without it. It’s that sense of companionship and comfort you feel with that person/thing. It’s the sense of understanding of every flaw it may have, and yet still choosing to accept and cherish that person/thing. It’s the sense of compassion that brings out the best and worst in you, and yet you know that you could not survive without it. It’s that sense of fulfillment, with that person/thing making you feel even more complete inside. You’d do anything just to keep that love alive.
Love, to me, is defined with characteristics like: Compassion, caring, passion, putting someone else’s needs before your own, loyalty, and even heartache.
What do I love? Well, for starters, I have only told two people in my entire life that I loved them and meant it. Or I thought I did at least. The only person that I trust wholeheartedly, and care for with every ounce of my heart is my boyfriend, as sappy as that may sound. But I don’t care. I love him for everything he is, flaws and all. But I often wonder if I truly know the definition of love…I feel as if every adult is mocking us in the back of their minds, guesstimating approximately how long we’ll be together. Frankly, though, I feel that at this age, you’re the most open and vulnerable to everything love has to offer. I believe that the passion for love dies with age, but maybe I’m wrong. Whatever. But also, I love my family and friends (the security love I mentioned earlier). They’re there for me whenever I need them to be, even though I hardly ever rely on my family for anything, considering we don’t get along most of the time. However, I wouldn’t be who I am today without these people in my life, and I’m glad they are.
Sarah C-
Your definition of 'love' was perfect. I felt the exact same way, but you put it so much more eloquently. Loved it...or actually I liked it a lot? :)
“But to see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing…”
-Stardust
I was watching the movie Stardust again the other day, which is now one of my favorite movies and suddenly I realized how lovely those lines above were and how I agreed with them greatly. Though these aren’t my own words, my definition of love fall along the same lines.
I usually do throw around the word “love” about the things that I adore but I don’t do that purposely. Just look at my old blogs. I’m sure I used the word “love” more than once. Yet, to say the word “love” to a person and truly mean it is more difficult for me. When someone says “I love this movie” or “I love these cookies,” I think that’s a habit more so than actual “love.” It’s more of a fondness, really. We are constantly fond of certain people, places, and things, but that’s not love. You know that you truly love something or someone, when you feel empty or incomplete without them. Love is in fact uncontrollable and limitless. It is kind and gentle. Don’t worry I’m not going to start reciting a passage from the Corinthians (“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not jealous…”). But love is about putting another person before you whole-heartedly. That’s why the characteristics I associate with love is kindness, trust, and, selflessness.
I enjoy running. I enjoy singing. I’m passionate about movies. I’m passionate about music. But I “LOVE” only a few things in my life. I love my family. Though it is a love that is not always shown, it is there. It’s there every time we sit around the Christmas tree and open presents. It’s there every time one of our birthdays comes around. It’s always there. I also love a few select friends. And I can honestly say that I love them (even though I would probably never say it to their face) because sometimes I can sit and just think about the little moments I’ve had with my friends and be completely grateful to share that memory with them. I’m completely grateful to have them in my life even if its for the time being. I appreciate them and wish them all that is well.
It’s a little peculiar though that I can say the word “love” about the most frivolous things, but when it truly matters, I can’t seem to say that word. So, I think my meaning of love has always remained the same because deep down I know what I truly love and what I don’t. Who knows? In a few years, the people I claim to “love” now might not be the same people I love in the future. I might even question if I’d ever really loved the people I claimed to love. But for now, these are the people that hold a special place in my heart and I LOVE IT!
Well, in my opinion love means something you care about/ really (x1000) like. I do use love to describe my feelings for a lot of things that I really, really like. I know that love is this sacred word to some people and it may be offensive to them to hear it being misused, but I think love isn’t so sacred. What I mean by this is that it’s not the word itself that should be the thing that sacred, it’s how you choose to use it- and I know that sounds contradictory, but let me try to make it a little less of a muddled concept for you.
Saying “oh my gosh, I LOVE this song!” versus talking to someone you care about and saying “I love you” are two completely different things. The first use of the word isn’t so serious if you read into the tone. The second, on the other hand, is flat- for lack of a better word. Normally, when someone is having a serious conversation they will go into an even tone and when they are excited and playfully speaking they will have ups and downs in tone and pitch. I guess from this, you can say that the characteristics that I see in something “love-worthy” are fun, comfort, and innocence.
I actually thought about the meaning of love all the time in the beginning of the year and I decided, after a while, that it’s really not that big of a deal. I can understand people liking to hold the word ‘love’ to higher standards just as one would hold their god sacred, but I think that’s just for the purpose of having an intangible belief, something to hold onto to know that no matter where you are in life you’ll always have at least one “person” on your side. With that frame of thinking, people just hold love to a higher standard to know there’s a purpose to living- it’s the ultimate quest- to find “love”. Please don’t get me wrong, I not saying that I don’t believe in love, I’m just saying that I’m not as hardcore when it comes to loves definition.
What I love:
I love my family.
I love my best friends.
I love the feeling you get from knowing that you just might be making a difference in the world, small as it may be, when it comes to veganism.
I love animals.
I love alternative music
I love my ex boyfriend
Wow, I didn’t really notice it at first, but I separated things that I passionately care about from the whimsical things. While classification does help me see the meaning of the word clearly, I still back what I said.
I really like the statement “I do believe that we can live through life, quite
Comfortably, without love”, because that’s essentially what I was getting at. I also really like your definition of love. Particularly, I like how you describe it as a feeling where you do what you can and still feel that you haven’t given enough. I’m not really sure why I found that part appealing but good job :). And yeah, yay for loving animals! ) boo for cheese, but we won’t get into that! haha)
"Mr. Cervi once told us how our eyes automatically go to the right answer on the page, we just have to catch which one it is before we confuse ourselves. I think it’s the same way with love, our heart automatically goes to what we want, but our logic confuses us, and gives us pause."
Lindsey, girl, this is my life every day :) hahaha. I have to balance my heart and my mind. It's quite difficult. But I love how you put this, and I find it to be incredibly accurate!
Dev-
“I could not live happily without advice from my mom, affection from Mike, laughter from Molly. I could not bear to go on without the people that I love.”
Dev, I freaking adore you. And my daily life would not be the same without you. And I cherish the fact that I can call you my best bud. Your blog was adorable, and your relationship with Mike makes me melt. Just because I feel like you guys are the one of the few couple in high school that actually love each other. And both of you guys have made each other better people. And come on, how can you not love going to brothers?! I <3 you.
Love.
Such a perky minute word.
I’ll define it as just a feeling that means something more to you.
I know… lame.
Truth is, I don’t really like the word “love” at all. Because I don’t like it (and that could possibly have stemmed from the fact that I feel uncomfortable saying the word for its full “lovey-dovey” feeling), I don’t really have a definition. I use it everyday because I just like to emphasize the certain things that I like better than others, such as (as all you 9/10 Langers should know) food.
Alright, so this “something more” leaves many questions to be asked. Here’s the thing about it: it’s very subjective. I don’t understand what “love” really is but from what I hear it’s something that’s reserved for family and lovers. I don’t know, but I feel like, in order to understand it, you have to be more mature and wise, which is why I detest using the word when it comes to liking someone or anything. I’m fine with using it halfheartedly, but other than that… I feel very uneasy.
Characteristics of love?
From what I hear, there’s some kind of tingly, fluttering butterfly feeling and heart racing, cheeks blushing sensation that comes with this verb. I… again have no real idea. I just like to think of the wanting to be together with the person, the feeling of comfort and safety when you’re with that person as love.
So I guess some good characteristics would just be that undeniable need to protect and care for the person or thing that you feel attached to. Also, there has to be somewhat like a mutual understanding or respect of each other for it to be love. (I know, I know, food can never truly understand or respect me, but I still love it, always and forever!!!)
Haha, I won’t list what I love because I’m sure 9/10 has had enough of my ranting of my love for food, so I’ll just cut it short with I love food and I love candy.
I love my family. I don’t know. I think that’s about it when it comes to “love.” I guess friends also fit in that category, but other than that, nothing really fits fits for me.
Putting a classification on things is big pain in the butt. I want to feel more comfortable using the word “love” so I say I love many things. The meaning always stayed the same. Truth is, I feel like there’s some sort of taboo that comes with “love.” But that, in itself, is a bit more personal stuff. Haha, regardless I think we should be spreading love not war. Heck, I think we should be making coffee, not war (you know what I mean, Ivan!)
El Fin.
Love is feeling emotionally connected with another in a way that words can not fully explain. If you can describe exactly how you feel about another, I don’t think you have true love. Whether it’s between family members or a significant other, words should not be adequate at describing what is in your heart and how you feel. There should be that “it factor” that tells you deep inside that you have been drawn to this person and will never be the same after having them influence and be a part of your life.
Love involves trust, communication, commitment, and reliability. If these things are present, love is possible.
Still, there needs to be more. You have to feel like your true uninhibited self around a person in order to really love them and for them to really love you. You need to want to show your every quirk to a person without fear of humiliation and have them return the favor. You can’t be afraid and put a wall up for someone to fall in love with. When you finally decide to tear that wall down, your loved one will finally see you for you and might be upset that they started to fall for you but as a completely different person. It’s only fair to give or offer what you really got. If not, nothing can grow and blossom too far.
Every little annoying aspect of a person needs to at least be accepted by both parties. You don’t have to be overly enthusiastic about how your loved one chews on bottle caps and almost chokes to death (Hayley’s Kyle) or aggressively grabs and cracks your toes when you least expect it (my lovely Brian), but you do have to realize that you can’t change the way someone is. You just have to accept these things and realize that the good outweighs the bad. If it doesn’t, your relationship is a ticking time bomb anyway, so give up or step up.
I think love has a lot to do with sharing. If you can share your innermost secrets and most guarded thoughts with a person and not feel that they will divulge these things, you have someone who you can potentially love. If you feel yourself wanting to blurt out the most random things that come to mind as you are driving down the road (like how one day you’ll be rich from inventing billboard posters that dissolve on the exact date the lease on it is up. That would save a lot of time and money, am I right?) and know that you won’t get a “Tarah, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life,” you are in good shape. If you feel comfortable and safe with a person emotionally, it’s always a good thing. Loving someone is letting your guard down and exposing your most squishy vulnerable qualities while fully knowing that the other will most likely poke at them. But if the poker becomes understanding and accepting of these sensitive things, a strong relationship is in the works and the risk involved in bulldozing your wall will be totally worth it.
continued..
Laughing and joking is something that I think is also very important in any relationship. People who can have a good time together will most likely stay around each other for quite some time. Why loose something that gives you a good feeling? The same thing goes for friends. You can definitely love friends. They are some of the best people to love. I personally think you need to be best friends with your significant other in order for things to work out the best they can. When you think about it, your friends are people who you can stand to be around for extended periods of time, they have your back when you need them, and you can talk to them about anything. These things are all key in a good relationship with another. But back to friends, they also need to have your trust, your time, and your best interest at heart. The most important part is that you need to have theirs as well. From my experience, friendships are about reciprocating feelings. You have to be on the same page about your level of friendship in order to have a loving friend relationship. Both people need to feel like the other is their BFF to have a strong love between them. This love is, of course, different than love between partners, but it is equally important in life to have.
I love my family, friends and my boyfriend. I can even say that I love my cats. They are all at the top of my love chain. I love food, laughing, and sunshine as well, but they are all a different kind of love for obvious reasons. I definitely wish there were more words than “love” and “like” to describe fondness. 38 ways seems like the perfect number to be able to accurately describe your feelings for things. If I ever chat with an Eskimo, I’ll be sure to write them all down. But for now, as long as I understand how I feel ab0ut the people in my life and they can get the just, I don’t care if the actual words that come out are not exactly what I mean inside. That song, “more than words” comes to mind. “More than words is all you have to do to make it real, then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me, cause I’d already know.” That’s what it’s all about. SHOWING those that you really care about how you feel.
LEONOR:
LOVE…
Loss
Of
Valuable
Energy
I’m kidding! I’m kidding! I’m kidding!
I'll admit, I thought you really meant it when I first read it. I was like "oh snap!!! Leonor??!?!" Luckily, you were just kidding or else I'd think my world turned upside down.
Love is complex. You can’t really explain it, it is just there. It is a…connection that involves all emotions and feelings put into one package. It does not mean that your life is going to be overwhelmed with happiness at all times. That would be creepy. It just gives you the little bit of hope and care that we all need to live our days pleasantly.
You tell it like it is, girl! I liked the way you said it. I can understand what you mean. And I agree wholeheartedly that being happy all the time would be the creepiest thing ever. *shivers*
Love is everything you always wanted and everything you ever feared. It involves courage and trust. It is a chance you have to take. Sometimes it turns out marvelously, but just like any other emotion, sometimes it hurts. It is a part of life. It is fragile. It makes people feel amazing and depressed in a five minute span.
Yo, to keep myself from basically repeating your entire blog again, I'll just comment on it. It was really well done I think. You are amazing and I think your thoughts on love is awesome! Dude, Leonor, I think that was the best blog ever! You rocked that thing! RESPECT!!!
Blah, I'm done for tonight...
If you can't tell...I wrote very little this time... Why the subject of LOVE?!?! >////< So complicated...
Some OMG Loves:
-Cryptoquips
-pigs
-alien stickers
-memoirs of a geisha
-painting intricate designs
-mosaics
-people from Iowa
-Harry Potter
-Persian rugs
-orchids (especially green and orange ones)
people from Iowa?! SOOOO random. What's so special about Iowans? But anyway, I OMG LOVEd your whole categorizing method. The things on the above list threw me for a loop though. Very interesting.. You and your cryptoquips in calc.. I LOVE#1/2 you :)
I've been dreading doing this blog, and have made every attempt to put it off until the last minute. I don't think much about "love", nor do I think it holds any strong, deep meaning to it. My feelings toward this topic come about partly because of how overused it's become, but also because of how little I've experienced it.
All I think love is is the connection between two things that makes them feel complete. If coke with peanuts is as important to Lily as Rosaleen, or if she feels the same sense of satisfaction toward them, then sure, she can go ahead and say she loves them both.
I'm a strong believer in "actions say more than words", so saying I love something means nothing to me. I say I love my dogs, I love softball, I love the winter, I love snowboarding, I love the nighttime, I love music, I love driving, I love freedom, I love thinking, I love my friends, I love so many things. But just saying that doesn't reflect my true appreciation I have toward each of them. I show my "love" for my dogs not by saying it, but by dedicating my time with them and spoiling them with hugs and kisses and playtime. I show my "love" for softball by dedicating my time to play, maintaining a positive attitude, having the eagerness to play. I show my "love" for the winter by yearning for it to come, hoping to get the chance to go outside and let the bitter cold hit me and have a white blanket cover my surroundings, putting me in a daze. I can say I love something, but my true love is shown by how I act and how I'm affected.
My perspective on my meaning of love hasn't changed, and I don't think it will. At least not any time soon. I'll say I love whatever I want, but words are just words to me. I don't care how honest or sentimental or meaningful it's said, just saying I love something doesn't rank it as any higher priority or importance in my life, but how I act definitely reflects my true care for things.
Sarah Crane-
Okay, I’M sorry, but am I the only one who’s always felt this line is complete crap? I know it’s supposed to be so touching and meaningful and all that. But the first time I heard this, I was like, what? It seems to me that love is about the exact opposite. I think that love is saying you’re sorry, over and over again, and still meaning it. Love is saying sorry even after you don’t mean it anymore. Love is forgiving someone.
I agree with you a hundred percent! The most honest points in life are the ones where you mess up. I think they reveal truths about people. In all the best relationships that i've had friend wise or whatever, we've had to say your sorry. A real love is when you do forgive someone for doing something wrong. Great point!
Something i really love about this blog is the honesty. So many of the blogs i've read in the past two days have been very open and honest. It is like a secret door into peoples thoughts, and very interesting. I really enjoyed this blog.
Am I the only one who doesn't really have a lot to say about this topic? I've been dreading this blog for the past few days, and I've been putting it off as long as I could. No offense, Ms. Bunj, but I really don't know how to answer this one.
First of all, I don't really think you can define love. Besides the fact that it's completely subjective, I think it varies (for me, at least) on a daily basis. I don't know. This is a completely convoluted subject for me, because I thought I didn't believe in love, but I don't really know anymore.
Back when we did our love symposium, I was in a very negative state of mind. I was feeling inadequate, and I felt like it was absolutely the worst time to be talking about love. So, naturally, I did what I do best: resort to cynisism, portraying myself as some heartless and bitter Miss Sardonicus to the class. I guess I could still make the same argument, but, unlike before, I think that there is actually something behind the word "love".
I hate when people say "Love is so overused!" It makes me furious. Yes, I understand the whole "you're lessening the value" argument, but really, love is completely subjection. Someone could "love" their new shoes in the same way that someone else "loves" their boyfriend. Who are we to make the comparison and tell someone that they're cheapening the word? I think that love encompasses a broad spectrum of emotions- love can branch from happiness, excitement, compassion, and even sadness. Love is, essentially, the ubiquitous emotion which can be used to enhance all sorts of feelings. One could describe the happiness they get when looking at their dog the same as when they look at their brother. Know what I mean?
If I was somehow forced into a situation in which I was held at gunpoint and asked to define love, I guess I would say that love is the expression of any strong emotion or feeling. Think about it: any really strong emotion that we feel (including hate) can somehow be related to the all-encompassing category of love. We are estatic when we're around our boyfriends/girlfriends; we love them. We're terribly sad when we part ways: it's because we loved them. We're furious when we find out they've moved on: it's because we loved them. See what I mean?
What do I love? Hmmm.
- My brother
- My grandmother
- My bookshelf
That's about it.
Oh. Yeah. And I guess I kinda sorta like Jordan sometimes. :)
PS: Sorry this isn't really deep or anything. I'm not really into all that sappy, lovey dovey kind of stuff.
Leonor:
That quote you had about the woman in the Civil Rights video really struck me. As someone whose really into all that self righteous, yet selfless deal, I really thought it was a neat saying.
In my perfect world being in love consists of many aspects. In order to fall in love with someone I feel as though you can completely trust them wholeheartedly with ever fiber and being in your body. It takes being with the person to make your day and create your greatest memories along with the best lessons. Being in love with someone consists of knowing each other greater than anyone knows me and never letting the butterflies inside fade. It is difficult for me to construct a definition of something that I have never had, but also it makes my expectations for being in love a lot higher. I have my hopes set high about what being in love should be and when the right guy comes along I hope that he can make my dreams come true and far beyond. If he can’t, then maybe he just isn’t that guy for me.
I have always viewed being in love someone differently than loving someone. They are just two different types of love that exist for a purpose. The love that I have for my family could never compare to the love that I would have for someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, the love of a family is special bond. It is a love that says you know that I have your back no matter what. This love has the same type of trust concept. The love that I have for my family makes going to bed angry at anyone impossible. It allows me to feel as though at any time in the day I know that they care about me.
In any type of love the main characteristic for my definitions would be trust. Without trust then I cannot see how I could love that person. Trust is a determining factor in any type of relationship. When it comes to gaining trust back in my book it is one of the most difficult things in the world to do. To be able to have the strength to allow another person to gain trust back is a priceless ability that can leave you in two different circumstances. It can either leave you even more heartbroken than before or being grateful for finding the strength to allow the person back into your life. No matter what, love is what makes trusting people worth all of it.
Hmm what do I love!
My Priest once said, “You cannot love inanimate objects because they cannot love you back.” I believe him one hundred percent. I try as often as possible to catch myself before I am going to use the world love for inanimate objects because the world needs to become more valuable.
*I love my family and my pets!
Putting a classification on things that I have previously said that I “loved” does not change my perspective on what the meaning should be. What it changes is my outlook on the things that I have said I “loved”.
Molly, your blog makes so much sense about things that have been going on lately haha.
Dev-
“In the big picture, material objects are not important to me. I do not love them, though I claim to.”
I have the same view on love. It is difficult to not use the word love on materialistic things in life but we know that these things don’t follow our specific definitions of love.
Disclaimer: You will hardly ever hear me say “love” because I most likely do not mean it.
The definition of love is something that someone can not tell another person. Love is a feeling and should not be confined to a definition, and there are three different categories of love. If the stars align, these categories will overlap, resulting in “true love”. The categories of love are love of an object, love of a family member, and love of a significant other. Love of an object may seem like a basic concept; however the complexity of each object is reveled by thinking about what connection that has to a particular person over another. One can say they love peanut butter and jelly, but that is only true if they would be devastated if they could never eat it again. That is only “surface love” of an object. True love of an object makes one think of a certain someone, whether that person is a family member or a person. Love of a family member often originates because of a common experience. Within the family unit, bonds can be established from the experiences that each family unit goes through. Often times the worse a situation gets, when (or if) the smoke clears the family bonds of love are something that grows stronger. Love of a significant other is by far the most complex and often times the most clandestine of the three. The love of a person outside of your family has many more aspects, because the unconditional love is not required by either person. A couple could be the most loving couple, but after a fight the next day they could never speak to each other again for the rest of their lives. Along with the potential heartache of losing someone loved, there are indescribable rewards to those who do love a significant other. This eventually evolves into true love. When one sees an item of clothing, a particular food, or even a sunset you are reminded of this person. One is constantly reminded of that person by anything that has to relate to them. The quality of life itself goes down when that person is not around. One loves that person so much the categories can not be held by the walls, and one loves that person with unconditional love and wants to bring them into his or her family. That is true love.
I do not have true love for anything, but I am a loving person. (In order to show the level of love I have I will assign a percentage.) I have a certain love for most everyone I come in contact with (1%). For people that rank my top tier of friends I do love them quite a bit (75%). As for my family, a little background information is required. I have a very distant family aside from my immediate family, grandparents and some aunts and uncles. We are all very close, perhaps a little too close for our own good. I would lay down my life for any of my family members, as they would certainly do for me.
As for the word”love”, I would keep it the same. It doesn’t matter if someone goes around saying “I love you” to everyone under the sun. They don’t mean it. If love is truly present, no words can be used, and no words are needed, because through the connection between each person to the other, they feel love. They are in love.
Love is…lovely. There truly is no other word that has the same meaning, no matter how sparse, random, and completely confusing al the connotations mean. Sure, I could say coke and peanuts are the most delicious thing ever, but that would technically be describing the object, not my feelings toward it. That would be a complete lie also. Peanuts and soda mix with the symphony comparable of that of a church organ and kazoos.
Love would be a strong partiality or adoration to something. It’s a bit too wide, but it kinda fits. Especially seeing how wide the range “strong” could be, it really encompasses just about all the connotations of the word. It is a strong like, perhaps to the point of a slight obsession. So that little kid wanting to go out and play basketball at every moment, and the man who wants to see the girls he loves at every moment, aren’t all too different. Just perhaps at different levels of “love”. After all, that’s why we can compare “true love” to love for material things. Whether it is a person you’re in a relationship with, videogames, or Winnie the Pooh shaped balloons, we find it endearing, an integral joy, and no matter how long it lasts. If we look at it like this, with few emotional factors, I guess all three are comparable. Well, frankly, that’s depressing, and only applies if you don’t split love into different tiers. But then again, seeing how some people give up the ones they love, ranging from friends to family, at times due to the most mundane things, I don’t really know what to say anymore.
Lessee what I love. Videogames, my parents, root beer, my sister, Pokémon, my friends, Golden Sun, my dog, eggplants, people I don’t find annoying, high explosives, people I find slightly bearable, watermelon, chocolate, bringing a towel with me wherever I go, sharp objects, and references that I include, despite the likelihood of nobody understanding it. It’s quite a well spread out, and pointless list. Ranging from the normal to the downright dangerous. I’m more partial to the dangerous half.
I guess you could say this blog changed my perspective. At first I was surprised at the lack of words for love. Then, half way through, I thought “Screw that! The English language has enough words already! It’s a connotation!” The point gets across in all the scenarios that the word is used. Love for eggplants and love for another is different. From tone, from context, we can tell. You’d think it would be something that requires AP Lang knowledge. It doesn’t, and discerning whether someone is being chased by dogs, or rabid nines in Cantonese is just as confusingly easy. After all, if I’ve learned correctly, we do high end calculus and physics in the simple act of catching a ball. No real worries whether or not we can tell what we mean in what context for the word love. I read it in a book. It must be true.
I would say that real love, not the infatuated or temporary love, is recognized as a bond or connection to something through mutual feelings of comfort and adoration. Above these feelings which include happiness, respect, and a general fondness toward someone, happens to be a bond that cannot be characterized through only these certain feelings. For example, even when we lose a level of respect for a loved one, we still love them. Even when times aren’t happy, we still love them. And this bond that holds us together despite the things we’re lacking is the act of love. “There is nothing perfect,’ August said from the doorway, “There is only life.” Specifically in the Life of Bees, I think that what held Lily and most of her life together was the ability to accept the fact that love and life can persist on even though love and life itself aren’t perfect. When Lily realized that she could accept the realities of life and people, I believe that’s when reality hit and her ‘dream world’ faded, if not completely altered. We can see this in chapter 12 when Lily finds out the truth about her mother. ‘Everything seemed emptied out- the feelings I’d had for her, the things I’d believed, all those stories about her I’d lived off f like they were food and water and air.” Once Lily finds out the imperfections of her past I believe she can finally get rid of the idealistic love she was imagining and was able to replace it with a normal and practical love that her and her mom shared regardless of the events that took place.
Personally, I believe that there are two types of love. The first type is the kind of love that have between a man and woman. Crushes, boyfriends, couples; they all represent symptoms of this type of love. A true representation of this type of love would have to be an old married couple that has been together for about 50 years. That’s when you know that love endures. Even though I believe this love is out there, I definitely do not think that half the married couples out there in the world have it. I mean, after all, if love is this rare and sacred thing that is someone if lucky to have come across, why do so many couples arbitrarily have it? On that note, I must say that there is one couple that I believe truly had this type of love. In the summertime I work at Annette’s breakfast in Ventnor. This past summer alone I must have seen at least a hundred regulars come in everyday, chocked full of old people! Saying this, it’s hard to differentiate between 60 year old couples who say the same things to you, act the same elderly way, and look down on you in the same manner. This is why when Bernie and Joy came in to eat every morning it was truly something else. Each about 65 years old, you would’ve thought they were teenagers by just listening to them. Cracking jokes, being obnoxious, and talking to several tables around them was always their daily routine. This is out of the ordinary behavior for two 65 year olds, nonetheless a 65 year old couple, that, by the way should probably be fighting about something or other. Looking back now, the only thoughts I had then on them was ‘I wish I could be like that with my husband when I’m that old.’ Seriously, what gave them that joy? What gave them that bond; that general fondness toward each other that was apparently lasting till death do they part? All I can say, or even wish for, is the fact that love is something that is just as unpredictable as them. Love, true love that is, is something that cannot be summed up, explained, or even retained in Bernie and Joy’s case. Although I don’t understand love, and really don’t understand how it works between Bernie and Joy, I do accept the fact that love is unexplainable and almost bizarre to the point where we will only know it when we see it.
Another type of love is the love that connects us to our family and friends. Although saying this makes the idea of love cheapened as if its available to anyone who is willing to befriend us, I truly believe that this bond will only connect us to a very few certain people in our lifetime. Once again because of this, the uncommon nature and exclusivity of love, I once again believe it’s one of those things that we will only know when we see it. In life I often underestimate the love that I have for my family and friends, especially with my two sisters. But then I remind myself how I would feel without them, and at that point all I can feel is a huge hole. Just like the absence of Lily’s mother made the love that was lacking seem that much more desirable, the mere thought of Alison’s or Steph’s love being absent from my life allows me to analyze the reality that their love plays in my life. In this type of love, I can’t really give a solid example. This is because for each of us it’s different. For me, I can’t say I feel all of the love from my dad. What I can say is I feel it between my sisters. And in your case it might be completely opposite. There’s no ‘head on’ example for the type of brotherly love that brings us together. Because of the fact that for each of its different and comes at different parts of our life, I definitely believe that a person can gain this kind of love at any point in their life.
Looking back at the last three paragraphs in my depiction of human love, I ask myself whether there is really any love outside of this. As I consider Biscuit, my adorable dog, I ask myself whether she can give me the same love a human can. Can she give me the same love my best friend can? Can she give me the same love a boyfriend can? No, so I’d have to say she deserves one of the 32 other names of live in Eskimo language. As far as my love for things, I can’t say with all of my heart that I actually love something. I deep down believe that I am blessed and love the way that my life sometimes works out, but there is nothing that I can tangibly say I love. Despite this lack of love for ‘things’, I do love my family, no matter how much of a hard time they give me. I have a genuine love toward all of my girl friends, but can only say that I truly love only two or three. I can say for about 99% of myself that there hasn’t been any boys out there that have taken my love. And last but not least, I love this kid named Sofa, who I support over in Africa. I really do care about this kid and pray for his family and friends. It’s almost as if he’s my son, and I want him to have the best lifestyle with the best of everything.
Beyond that there’s not much more I can say about love. I’ve never went deep down in love, always feeling as if I barely skimmed the surface. But I do know love is there and plan on moving deeper into it. And lastly, no, I do not think my perspective of love has changed by writing this blog. Oppositely I think it has only structured and defined it more. I really like taking a step back and viewing the things in life that matter most to us, because so often do we forget about the things that we surround our lives around and grow accustomed to
My favorite idea of love is in 1st Corinthians,
‘“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
"Love Love" is an emotional attachment to someone or things, that without, we would be miserable. This is the type of love that completes us and defines who we are. For example, love for a family or religion. These types of love speak loudly about our character, like morals and values. This is also the love that involves commitment, like attending a sports practice, religious service, or getting married.
The second type of love, "Like Love" is the one which brings joy and results in your happiness, but that is about all it does. This love is the "puppy love" or favorite foods kind of love. You can change your favorite food or crush in an instant, and there are no consequences to doing so. This is different from "Love Love" where there are are consequences, like saying "I love you" which is a sentence not easily taken back.
What do I "love love" ?
1. My friends and family
2. My religion
3. All of my pets.
4. Soccer, I've poured blood sweat and tears into the sport, I'm eternally grateful to it for developing me into the person I am today. Just as a mentor would, soccer has taught me dedication and discipline, while introducing me to some of my oldest friends.
5. I love Student Council. I enjoy putting in countless hours and hard-work because I know what I'm involved in has a positive effect on my school. Student council introduced me to charity work and school spirit, without either of those two things my high school experience would have been drastically different.
What do I "like love" ?
1. Popcorn
2. Music
3. Chocolate
4. Girl's night's in
5. Traveling
6. Beaches
7. Ice cream
8. Pep rallies
9. Iced Latte
This classification of things has changed my perspective on a few things. The love for my family and friends is greater than my love for favorite foods and tv shows. By taking a hard look at what i enjoy, i see what's important to me. Like values, for example, I love my family, which shows i can be down to earth and appreciate where I came from. I love my pets, which shows I'm caring and sympathetic towards animals. Soccer shows I'm disciplined and Student Council, that I'm giving. My "like loves" show my affinity for all things sweet and sugary, as well as my enjoyment of outdoors and life. One thing I noticed during this blog is that it's a lot easier to say I "like love" something than I "love love" something.
Sarah VP---
"I say I love A LOT of things: soccer, scoring goals, summer, making bracelets, eating ice cream, listening to pump-up songs, girl’s nights, bonfires, laying in the sun, wearing comfy clothes, having deep conversation"
I first noticed that we like a lot of the same things, soccer, summer, ice cream, music, sun. When I read further into your blog I agreed with several of your points. One in particular would be the one about loving material things. Even though I'd like to go into the fashion industry after high school, I know that a person cannot love a material thing, they may like and enjoy it, but they cannot love it.
As I sat down to do this blog I first asked myself, “What would I say I love?” The first three things that popped into my head without question were laughing, crew, and my family. But why? What characteristics of these three things allow them entry into the highly exclusive club of “Stuff I love”? It isn’t a physical attraction, that’d be weird, and it isn’t a mental attraction, because I can name one hundred things I hate about my family, two hundred things I hate about crew, and five hundred instances where laughing has gotten me in trouble. So again I asked myself the million dollar question ,”Why?” Then it hit me, the linking factor between these three unlike things. There’s a similar sensation I feel when I think about these three things. An unbreakable bond exists between us, which has developed through interactions which I have become dependant on.
The bond between my family and I is the most obvious. I live my life with these four other people with the same last name, and I would be completely lost without them. The care they give me, the closeness we have…it’s a bond so strong super glue would be jealous. I don’t think I could function as a person without them. If our love was broken I’d be completely lost and I’m grateful I have a family that loves me back.
My love for laughter developed differently, but the feeling’s the same. Laughter is my escape. When life gets tough, or something’s got me down, I look for something that makes me laugh. Some turn to alcohol, some turn to drugs, I turn to comedy central. Laughing makes me forget. I feel free when I laugh, and I don’t know if I’d be able to cope with half my problems if I didn’t have laughter. But laughter’s best aspect is the fact that it’s effects are magnified when life’s good. Laughing, in my opinion, makes life worth living, and I love it for that.
My third and final love surprised me as much as it does to some of your. Plenty of you have heard me complain about crew. The freezing water, the long practices, and the starvation diets, crew definitely has its dark side. But like the force, crew has a light side that’s stronger, it just takes some training to realize it. It wasn’t until my junior year of crew that I began to succeed and found this love, and I think it sprouted from my competitive spirit. But wining isn’t the reason for this love, as a matter of fact, it’s not any one single event or quality. It’s Thomas the coxswain screaming “Falcon Twenty!” at the top of his little lungs at the end of a race, the surge of speed that immediately follows, the exhilaration of hundreds screaming, the adrenaline rush, the sweat, the ungodly pain, the companionship with my team, and the sound of my coaches voice cracking when he hollers at us. All these sensations and emotions I experience congeal into one word, crew, and my mind has slapped the word love over this Jell-O mold because of all it does for me.
These three things share no correspondence, but I think that attests to how universal love can be. My feeling for these three things aren’t completely identical, but they share a common ancestor, which is an unbreakable bond.
“If you can describe exactly how you feel about another, I don’t think you have true love.”
-Tara T
---I have always 100% believed in this idea. What attracts us to people really shouldn’t be their looks, the way they carry themselves, or things such as their humor. What we should base our feelings and attention on is the ability to feel a love towards people despite the things they don’t have, that we would find desirable. When you’re able to love someone when they have qualities you don’t necessarily like, this is when you know love is there. If you could put your finger on all of the reasons you like someone, I wouldn’t say love is the thing holding you together, but rather it’s those few things.
I’ve gotten sick of the word throughout the year. I hear it everywhere, and it’s a giant, dissonant cacophony that’ so shrill, it makes me numb. Yeah, “love.”
I use it a fair share, and like everyone said, to describe things that are pretty commonplace. It’s more out of convenience than anything else (or maybe laziness to actually think things through before I say it), but it’s (sadly) a part of my vocabulary. And let’s add it to the giant cemetery of effective adjectives. Bury him next to “cool” and “nice”.
I’ve tried to shed it before. Maegan and I had a replacement word to describe anything other than the real definition of it. It sounded really strange, and sounded like a black name if I remember (or I maybe totally off, correct me if you want, Genghis).
The real definition of it? I don’t know. None of us do. I’m guilty of saying “I love you” in the past, but in retrospect, I had no clue what it meant. Stupidity reigns supreme.
Costal told us last year that the only true way to love is to have had the experience of wallowing in true heartbreak, one that crushes your very soul. I understand people have relationships through high school and beyond, but to know the true feeling of love, I think one has to realize how it feels to be broken before you can try to fix other people. And since none of us has had the experience yet (disagree all you want), I’ll save the phrase for another time.
As far as characteristics go, I’d imagine (or hope) it’s a state of being where all this fake, thick, coating that we seem to encase ourselves in comes flying off. A state where our emotions are pure, unadulterated, and naked. It’s a fantastic world that’s a bit too unrealistic, but I have a strange feeling it exists. Guess it’s one’s job to find it, I suppose. My own extreme naivety? Maybe. But I’ll hold onto it.
What do I love? This world, as chaotic and ugly as it may seem at times. I love the feeling of a greater purpose. I love learning about our past, and how we can shape ourselves from it. I love the sweet sensory overload that is music. I love to infuse my thoughts and emotions into a giant blob, and splattering them onto paper, and hoping they turn into words that make the smallest bit of sense. I love to help people.
The things I like are lot easier. Too many to list though. And I’ve always had a decent mental differentiation of what I truly love, and what I “love.” I probably should make a better effort to separate them....
Hayley- "The way we perceive love is based largely upon our values, our personality, and especially the way we are raised."
Your first line is so true. As I'm reading through everyone's blog, I find myself either shaking my head in a agreement and shaking it in disagreement at the same time. People have such different views of love even though its a universal feeling. Hm interesting...
Jen:
"I've been dreading doing this blog, and have made every attempt to put it off until the last minute. I don't think much about "love", nor do I think it holds any strong, deep meaning to it."
I both agree and disagree. I believe that the word itself has no meaning, but the feeling means more than words can say.
Molly:
"Because one has to learn to love and trust themselves before they can do so to others."
This is very true. You cannot love if you don't know how. Unfortunately, it takes a while sometimes.
To Maegan R
"So, naturally, I did what I do best: resort to cynisism, portraying myself as some heartless and bitter Miss Sardonicus to the class."
Your default character "Miss Sardonicus" is one of the best arguers I've ever seen and I just wanted to say I LOVE it when you argue with Martino.
Thanks, Mike. :)
I would say that I love you dearly but that seems a little ridiculous for this blog, no?
To me, love has always simply been about a deep and meaningful connection to another thing. While the Eskimos may have thirty two different words for love the fact of the matter is we only have one that needs to be used for everything we love from family to vanilla coke. As unfortunate as this may be, there is virtually no way we can change this. Typically because made up words never seem to stick in the English language too well. So despite our best efforts and much to my dismay I am stuck with but one word to describe the overwhelming bond I share for somebody or something else.
I used to think that to love something meant that I would be willing to die for it. But as I grew older I realized this was a fairly inaccurate characteristic of love. The other reason I realized this was inaccurate may have something to do with me being selfish and in love with myself. Needless to say dying to save myself is a paradoxical and pointless view on love. So nowadays I characterize love by one main aspect. This aspect being to love something is to be able to spend the rest of your life with it. If you are not willing to devote your life to something then by no means, in my opinion, can you say you love something. For example I love my parents, without a doubt. I would do anything for them and I know they would do anything for me. No matter what happens as I grow older and begin a career, they will obviously grow older and inevitably start to decay. Yet no matter what happens I will do whatever necessary to accommodate them in their time of need. On a different note, I can also say that I love Vanilla Coke more than any other beverage to ever grace my mouth. I can say now that, providing my health is ok, I will always enjoy the taste of sweet sweet vanilla coke.
As of now I have never before made a list of the things that I love and chances are I will forget something, but nevertheless here it goes (in no specific order).
1. Family
2. Friends
3. Dogs (mine specifically)
4. Driving
5. Enjoying the company of my current government
6. New Jersey
7. Kurt Vonnegut
8. The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, and Bob Dylan
9. Laughing
10. Other things I don’t care to mention
As for whether or not I think classifying things I thought I loved change my entire perspective of love I do not think so. Classifying things is not what changed my perspective of love over the years. What changed my perspective of love was merely me growing up and realizing how things actually are. When I was younger I was much more naïve and had a completely different perspective. Without a doubt me growing older and ultimately wiser is what has changed my perspective of love.
John:
" "I've been dreading doing this blog, and have made every attempt to put it off until the last minute. I don't think much about "love", nor do I think it holds any strong, deep meaning to it."
I both agree and disagree. I believe that the word itself has no meaning, but the feeling means more than words can say. "
I don't know if you read the rest of my blog, but I mentioned in there that I'm big on actions are greater than words, and that saying I love something means nothing, but how I act and how I'm affected by those feelings show my actual love toward something. I guess I shouldn't have said there that it doesn't hold any strong meaning to it, but I was referring to the word, not the feeling. =D
Part 1 of 3: Damn Blogger
Nice! I actually like this blog a lot, considering it forced me to sit and think about my own values and morals. Sadly, I have concluded I have very little morals and values, but on the positive side I do love a few things. Actually, before I delve straight into the blog, it is time for my weekly deviation from the real question to rant about something that stems off of it. I'm really pissed off that humans have ruined the usage of this word, just like we have ruined everything else. Human's, in general, seem to not be able to handle the usage of anything delicate. We break glass, we ruin the Earth, we ruin our minds, and we ruin our words. For a second, I would like everyone on this blog to just sit back and actually think about what human's haven't ruined. At first I would be inclined to say, we haven't ruined space, but alas we have with all our Hubble Telescopes and other useless nonsense we have floating up in the black vacuum of time. If anyone can find something, anything, that we haven't ruined please let me know. I'm seriously wondering now what the answer to this is. But I digress...
The ability to love something has become so widely skewed by the modern day antics of the world, that the definition has melded into a big puddle of mud. I like to say that it has become muddled. Apparently I am learning that this is already a word, and I am probably using it wrong. However, that's unimportant. Just like I said back in February with the love symposium, love is derived from extremely strong feelings. An exceptionally long period of overall utter euphoria and warmth that develops from an initial attraction that a person fosters for another object can be considered my personal definition of love. Through this logic a human is allowed to either create feelings of love for an object or another human being. Or even an animal for that matter. Although, the fleet occurrence of this feeling of warmth and euphoria for an object is usually expressed between two people when the say "Aww baby, I love you," and then break up two days later. Love isn't there for a week. Or a month. Love is a bastion that endures all the slaps, all the punches, and all the unexpected barrage of problems from the outside world raining down upon it.
Part 2 of 3: Damn Blogger again!
The fact that love is something that is so strong and binding, is the driving force behind my anger for why people throw it around these days. People have understood that love represents a stronger feeling than normal for something, so in order to intensify the magnitude of what they are saying they attach the word love into their sentences. They don't really "love" those shoes or that dress, they just really like it. Now in about eight months if that feeling towards the object is still there, hey it's a possibility it's love. But since people are fickle, that is very likely to occur, and the person will forget that object when they obtain another object. Love is a feeling that cannot be fully replicated from thing to thing. If it is possible for a person to say that they've felt the same way about something, then they couldn't have truly experienced love of that object. With that being said, it is possible to "love" a specific type of ice cream, but I highly doubt any person is so enthralled by ice cream. By nature, the human palate will induce a specific stimulation to the sugary goodness of ice cream. That stimulation is often incorporated in a person's reasoning for saying that the love a specific flavor. What they don't realize is they are once again applying that short-termed need to supply a monumental adjective. It just hit me that the word love's commonplace usage can be equated with widespread destruction. These two words are such extremes of the spectrum, but in modern times people exchange them like currency. The last time something was really destroyed was when it was smashed to pieces and was in utter shambles. Poland in 1942 was destroyed. Yet people run around saying "Yo he got destroyed. This got destroyed. I just destroyed his dreams." No you might have ruined something, but you didn't "destroy" anything. The only difference between love and destroy is that loving something is the farthest language can take a positive feeling. With destruction the words annihilate and obliterate bring stronger ideas into mind. Anyway back to the ice cream idea. Now if that specific sensual stimulation sits in a person's mind, it causes the replication of explosively good feelings within the person upon thought, and it is sustained over an extremely long period of time it can be considered loved. Of the requirements for something to be loved, I think the extreme time period is the only one that can falter and be considered an exception to the rule. For instance, if an object causes such happiness and an individual's body just radiates a gargantuan caring, fuzzy, warmth for them then it can be seen as being loved. This is only applicable because it can be extrapolated that the magnitude of the feelings will cause it to be sustained for such a long period. In instances like these love at first sight occurs, along with falling in love with animals and babies. Now the falling in love with babies like the pedophile way, the motherly way a baby is inherently loved from the moment a mother births it.
After much thought, and about six hundred words (I've never counted them) later, I've come to realize that by my definition I only love five things in life. Obviously everyone can see that I am madly in love with Maegan Reese. I don't want to sound too sappy and lovestruck, but never before have I been happier in my life than when I am with her. Such feelings lead me to believe that my exception clause is true, considering the short time we've been together. In order to avoid excessive lovey dovey talk to come out on the blog, I will move on to my second thing now. Strangely enough, I love my family. Well not strangely enough, but by the way we interact its hard to tell I love anyone in my family. This sort of love is technically forced upon me, but it has embedded itself into my heart within the last couple of years. I say strangely, considering the fact I somehow love my bitch of a sister, despite the fact that on a daily basis I would be inclined to plot her assassination...
Part 3 of 3: Still posted it Blogger so take that
The third soft spot in my heart is reserved for all my close friends. Without them, it seems that I might just lose my mind and go insane. Or I might breakdown and cry. In all seriousness they help me through everything that occurs in my life. They are there to offer a safe haven when I am about to be flayed within an inch of my life by my sister. They are there when I am about to go insane from the trials of life. They are there to help provide me with some of the happiest moments of my life. It really has been solidified this year, but there will always be a spot in my heart for my closest friends. There's the end of the human list. My fourth love is obviously football. That is a given, considering it is the only sport I actually am not completely horrible at. Everything about football makes my skin tingle and my heart pump faster. The happiness that radiates from the extensive physical exertion, is rarely replicated. Even though it's one of the biggest pains in the ass to be married to a sport, I can literally say that I am married to football and probably will be for life. My final love will probably come as a shock to a lot of people, but it's well deserved of such an honor. It just so happens to be a little black and silver box box that creates a fantastical (HAHA MOLLY THAT IS A WORD)world for me to escape into. It's called a Playstation 3, and it's my fifth element. The happiness and entertainment that can be achieved from an entire day of playing Madden or some other time consuming video game is almost irreplaceable.
Ultimately classifying "love" doesn't change my perspective on the word or feeling at all. For others I'm sure it does, but being that it's me, I feel it couldn't possibly change my perspective. It's been mine the entire time from beginning to end, so stating it only makes it more concrete.
I'm not like lily in thinking about love. I'm perfectly fine with leaving my loves combined because, when it comes right down to it, I have strong feelings for many things. My love for items isn't the same as my love for people, but who's to say it means less? Love to me, is simply a mishmash of wanting and caring. That, and it must make you happy. If you have these things, then it is love. The wanting doesn't necessarily have to be in the traditional sense, of course. It could mean wanting to have, or wanting to be loved by. But it could also mean wanting something to be productive, happy, etc. such is how people can love their projects and areas of study.
Now, I don't love coke or peanuts. With food, however, it gets a bit odd. I certainly like chicken parmigiana more than burgers. However, I do not love chicken parm, whereas I do love burgers. Why? Because they interest me. They fascinate me. They are delicious when made by some people, disgusting by others. I want to have the perfect burger. I want an understanding of how they work. I want to further burger science. Mostly, I just enjoy eating the good ones, but there's still that love there. For those of you that never pass us in the hallway, I have a girlfriend now. I'd say I love her. But I also love video games. Can I really choose between the two of them?
Yes, of course I can. What are you, stupid? I choose the girl. She's more important to me. (I'd like to point out at this point, however, that she is the only thing more important to me than video games. Nothing else ranks up. Not my friends, not my parents, certainly not my future. I could be happy working in a dead end job for the rest of my life as long as I had a person and the latest games to love. Why bother with my life when I can life a thousand different lives on the lightning box?) But I love them both. And I'd much rather give up neither.
I will admit, I've said I love things that don't necessarily fall into my categorization. (One of those things is, interestingly enough, chicken parmigiana.) But they don't affect my definition of love. Love is a fluid thing, and it can be held towards anything. It is the greatest thing this world has, and I refuse to let it be applied only to people.
“I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that.”
Ah yes, the mighty and wise Eskimos, with a population of 15, they need to have plenty of words for "love" if they want to continue to survive. Anyway, jokes aside, love is a pretty complicated subject, and very very overused indeed (in real world and on this blog...) Why is it thrown around soo easily in our generation? TWO REASONS!!!!! "1." I blame television, the actors on all of those family sitcoms and what not use the word "love" soo many times, you'd think it was printed in the script 10,000 times.....and it was. "2" We already have come to terms with the idea that love is this carelessly tossed around word that we can no longer trust as the real deal, the word with the real meaning behind it. Because of that, we are forced to just take love as the careless word with a simple, point blank meaning. Thus, our generation gets to be the generation that is constantly searching for the meaning and everything that we feel like we are left out off.......oh the JOY!!!
I guess I'll have to agree with everyone on this blog with the different meanings for love. Like Meg Song said in her blog, theres the "Tingly feeling" love, the "something is very dear to me" love, "the OMG love..." and the "When a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much" love. And thats about it......probably more, but I don't think dwelving in that deep into the well is worth it. And I'm just going to go ahead, and say that the "OMG love" is the least important and the one that should be looked at with the least bit of observation
What do I love??? umm....sadly enough, I can't feel any kind of love for anything other then people. Animals come close because they do sometimes stand in as people when you really need them, but to me, nothing is better then someone who can respond to you in more then just "bark bark" or "meow meow." Actually, while I'm on the topic of pets, I might as well mention music as well. While a pet listens to you talk, music works vise versa. Someone talks, and you listen. All of the above are very dear to me, and those are my ratings for which I would rank them. I don't "love" any material possesions. No matter how I might flip out over their awesomeness, you can easily see how little I care for the by how careless I am with their "well-being." Hell, im about to bash my computer with the keyboard the next time it desides to lag even for a split second. There is more to love I know for sure, but its gonna take time.
Megan Song:
I can perfectly understand why you would Iowa, hell, I like Iowa because the band Slipknot is from Iowa.I am sure that it is not your reason for liking Iowa, and that now that I said that, you will probably choose a different state, but hey, I just felt like sharin =)
Ashley:
I feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston, she has to play all of these roles where she plays a mother...and in her latest movie she plays a woman who wants kids but can't find that special someone or something. And all that is very resembling of the woman. WalMart has given me too much time to catch up on this kinda stuff....weird.
Jen:
I know deep down you probably believe there is more to love. I do agree with you that its overuse doesn't allow for that side of it to really shine. However, if you take apart all the couples that get married over "mistakes," there are people who have really found that one love that makes their life more then it ever was. Rare, but there.
And to Ivan.
Way to go. I'm with you all the way. Love is as love does. Let love lie.
I don't love eggplants, though. I've only ever had them fried, and they tasted like flavorless latkes. AKA solidifies grease.
Linds-
Speaking of loving Mr.Seaman teasing you, for the past couple of weeks I thought Seaman had recently taken to hating me. Then Today I asked him, "Seaman, why do you suddenly hate me?" He replied "I don't hate you. You just wear too small of a shirt, and on top of that you wear an extra shirt to add upon the fact you wear to small of a shirt. Hehehehe" To which I was reminded of Molly and Nanfara calling me fat on Twins day, so it ruined the whole moment we had going. This little exchange however, made me incorporate Seaman into my close group of friends that I consider to love, along with two other obvious teachers who are in that group.
On a little side note, I've just realized that in perhaps every single comment on someone else's blog, I've talked about myself.
Love is something I'd like to believe in. A powerful emotion, possibly the most powerful in the human repertoire. The love I'd like to believe in is as such:
Love - A complete sacrifice of selfishness for a cause or being perceived as greater than the self.
And this definition is the one I'd like to believe in because it is a beautiful thing to think about. The capacity to love another human being to the point where the world can be damned as long as they're happy is a wonderful thought. It's a beautiful thought, even. However, like many words, I don't think one complex as love can be satisfied with merely one phrase, in fact, as one of the penny arcade guys have pointed out, (I can't be bothered to remember which right now) many of us have also used that one word pact reserved for true relationships: those that can love back, a person or even an animal, to describe our relationship to dead-cow-and-milk-byproduct sandwiches and the sound oak leaves make when dried out and stepped on. We take something with the capability to be great, the greatest thing in the world in fact, and we make it a sandwich, albeit a delicious one. I'ma try again, to encompass this.
Love – 1. A complete sacrifice of selfishness for a cause or being perceived as greater than the self. 2. An intense infatuation that makes one happy when even thought about, that commonly fades.
Number 2 is the one many people use to describe silly things like football, futbol, and the smell of a brand new video game manual (ran out of football puns). I think that one's more accurate, since it covers all pertinent usage, and provides a convenient breakoff point for a new word. When words have more than one meaning, very often a new one spawns to take on the second and one meaning of the word becomes less associated, as with magic and sorcery. I rather like Ashley's word from awhile back, luv. It's naïve nonsense, and more often than not, it leads to pain than happiness, and it tears people who mistake luv for love apart.
What I love/luv:
1. Hope
2. Chaos
3. Being astounded and dumbfounded
4. The smell of a new video game manual (Hell, and the rest of the box, and new computer parts/manuals for that matter)
5. A good argument
6. The idea of love
7. Leila (My trumpet)
8. Family (More complicated, but there)
After tossing that list off the top of my brain, excepting #4, I'm not really surprised. I haven't had a relationship to create a love strong enough with another non-family human. Hence, the second definition I settled on so the question at the root of this blog wouldn't drive me mad holds true, and the first remains unchallenged.
@Ivan: Connotation, you say? Upon further reflection, I agree. The point is that we can tell, no matter how silly it is, and if language isn't about communication anymore, what are we still doing on here with these silly idea things and ambiguous language?
Learn Lojban if Ambiguity bothers you.
"Sanskrit has ninety-six words for love; ancient Persian has eighty; Greek three; and English simply one."
- Robert Johnson
What is love? I have answered this question over 200 times in the past few months, and each time I explained it, it was to the same person. Each time I explained it I was met with the same response. “I don’t understand,” he would say.
Can we ever really understand love? Do we ever reach a place, where like all good storybooks, we as the main characters ride off into the sunset with a sigh, thinking ‘This. This right here is love.’ I used to think so, before I got so cynical and depressing on all love-like topics. But right now, Mrs. Bunje, I am thoroughly uncertain. So I’m going to make this a little easier on myself and divide it up.
Love- as in, to adore, feel affection for, care for, be fond of, have a tenderness and devotion for, couldn’t live without it. In this category, for me, are things like:
1. My kid sisters and brothers (yes, each and every one)
2. My best of friends. Even though lately, the names under this category have been changing, I still love them all.
3. My parents and other relatives
4. Reading and music and all forms of expression, including acting, dancing, writing, drawing- I love them all, although I’m not great at all of them. (Except pointe. I DO NOT love pointe.)
5. Being a mommy. I love feeding people and giving people bandaids and talking them through crises, etc. This probably stems from thinking I’m some sort of good at it, I’m not sure.
6. Travel. I love other people, and I love their cultures. I love trying new things and making new friends and thinking about things another way than I’m used to.
Love- as in, to fancy, to be partial to, to like. For example:
1. Sticking my hand out the window while I’m in a fast moving car
2. The beach, and people watching on the beach
3. Laughing and generally enjoying myself with others
4. Asking questions and guessing at the answers, then finding out if you were right or not.
5. Hypothesizing about everyday things going on around me
6. About half of the lines in Romeo and Juliet
7. Being a flirt every once and a while
8. Sewing pretty dresses, wearing pretty dresses, getting dressed up
9. Chocolate, food, baking, other things like these
Lastly, to be In Love- as in, to find irresistible, to lust for, to adore, worship, have a thing for, to be devoted to, to have a weakness for. For this, I have no examples. I only know what I know, and I don’t know how this love feels or tastes or settles on the skin. I do not know how certain it’s existence is, only that I hope it’s not just some ideal we’ll never reach, though I accept that as a possibility.
As much as this one, used-to-be-powerful word is insufficient to cover all of these feelings, I will continue to use it as I have, and I suppose I shall depend on my tone to be an Eskimo for me.
-Fiona Erickson
I love crossword puzzles, launching water balloons, making late-night excursions to Wawa, sleeping in until the afternoon, watching Seinfeld, riding go-carts, poolhopping, and playing wiffle ball. These are a few things that I like to do, things that are fun, but things that I could live without. Love is probably the most over/misused word in the English language. I love The Office. I also love my family. But obviously, my feelings towards a television show are nowhere near what I feel towards my parents, brothers, and sisters. We end up applying this common term to anything that we even remotely enjoy. To truly love something, you have to value it above all else. To love something means that you absolutely, positively could imagine life without it. Love is the perfect word to describe passionate feelings. We don't need a supplement or replacement for love, because when used correctly and moderately, it conveys the most powerful emotion. The problem is not in the word itself, but in our application of the word. As a whole, we've thrown around love so much that it's become as used and worn-out as a number of meaningless words. Most often, we say we love something without really meaning it. This process simply devalues a beautiful word that holds so much meaning, so much depth. I believe that true love means something different and takes on a different form to each and every person. Every individual's unique story gives them their own appreciation and meaning of love. Personally, I love my family more than anything in the world. The reason for that, I think, is the fact that my siblings have showered me with love since the day I was born, even if I didn't always deserve it. How could I not return that adoration? Unfortunately, this is mere fantasy for many people. Too many people have never had a truly caring, loving family unit. I think, in a way, this gives them a deeper appreciation for love when they finally find it. Heartbreak from growing up without a loving figure, or losing someone meaningful, makes people cling to love as best they can, because they realize emotions, and life, are fragile and fleeting. Love is characterized by a mutual respect, a willingness to go the extra mile, and by always giving something to each side. The three things I love most are my family, my friends, and sports. My relationships with my family and friends are an illustration of love, as there is an unspoken understanding that we would do anything for each other. Sports is a little different. While I may constantly complain about how pissed off sports can make me, I really couldn't imagine without the competition and exercise. So much of who I am can be attributed to what I've learned from athletics. I love sports, regardless of how angry they make me. I guess the same could be said of my friends and family.
One last note: While I said earlier that we throw around the word love way too often in the wrong situations, I don't think we use it nearly as much as we should when discussing the things that really matter. I, for one, don't think I tell people that really matter to me that I love them nearly enough. If someone truly deserves and has earned your love, they should hear it everyday.
Mike: My love for laughter developed differently, but the feeling’s the same. Laughter is my escape. When life gets tough, or something’s got me down, I look for something that makes me laugh. Some turn to alcohol, some turn to drugs, I turn to comedy central. Laughing makes me forget. I feel free when I laugh, and I don’t know if I’d be able to cope with half my problems if I didn’t have laughter. But laughter’s best aspect is the fact that it’s effects are magnified when life’s good. Laughing, in my opinion, makes life worth living, and I love it for that.
Comedy Central. Nothing is better at salvaging a tough, depressing day than some late night stand-up or South Park. Perfect example: After losing the volleyball-a-thon last Friday, the only thing I wanted to was break something. Luckily, the first thing I saw on the screen when I got home was Comedy Central. I was trying to act tough and pissed off, but you can't help but laugh when watching that channel. It really made me lighten up and realize that losing was not a big deal at all. Laughter really is a beautiful part of life, an aspect that, as you said, makes life worth living.
Brendan:
Have to agree. Just because there are different levels of love, doesn't mean you have to turn your back to another.
Oh, even ignoring how it's cooked, I think eggplant tastes weird. Yet, for some reason, I love eating it. The reason? I think I'll be left clueless for the rest of my life.
Loveeee. meh. I really didn't want to do this blog at all, and that's why I waited as long as I could until I had to finally do it.
So. Love. It is heard and used everyday. In the crowded hallways at the Oak, on the beach, at weddings, and in everday conversations. But do we really mean it? Well, it matters what YOU percieve it to be and what you are tring to say by using it. Love can have one meaning to one person, and the completely opposite to another. You make it special on your own. It is only a word. A word can't define you. Love Lust Like Hate Disgust Dislike. It's all about what you see it as. If you say that you love cheese, then who am I to judge you? I can't tell you that the love that you have for love isn't legitimate.
This quote from It Takes Two always stuck in my mind about love,
Diane Barrows: It's got to be that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of stuff right.
This is the stereotype of love. Typical. The fairy tale story with a Cinderella ending. There are so many different forms that it would take a billion years to cover them all. There's that unconditional breath-taking love that grows stronger and wilder and more passionate. Then there's the friendly love. It's this non romantic bond that can't be broken, a relationship where both people learn and grow from eachother. Then there's the worst kind of love. Forbidden love. It's the love of somebody or something that you know that you will ever have, yet you can't let it go. It is too strong, too overpowering and too wild. You can scream and cry but in the end, you know it will never go anywhere.
Love is a state of mind. You create it. You live it. You breathe it. To me there is no limit to your love. There is no limit to what you don't love. Nobody can tell you that what you love isn't real love, because they will never feel what you feel.
Honestly, I don't really know what I love. I have only been alive 17 years. That isn't really enough time to learn what I love, what I can't live without. But, I'll give a list of what I am loving so far,
1. animals, not just mine, every animal
2. wearing my predators and hitting the ball just right, and watching it soar into the top corners
3. friends
4. sitting on the beach alone reading a book
5. lounging in my bed on a rainy day watching movies
6. the feeling of success
7. being creative
8. family..
Lindsey-
"Mr. Cervi once told us how our eyes automatically go to the right answer on the page, we just have to catch which one it is before we confuse ourselves. I think it’s the same way with love, our heart automatically goes to what we want, but our logic confuses us, and gives us pause."
Wow. Like a million people commented this, but I really liked it too so I don't care =) This is one of the greatest things that I have ever heard. It is so true and so deep. OH and your blog was really gooddd
LOVE…
Loss
Of
Valuable
Energy
Leonor, you may have been joking, but that comes pretty close to right.
Love is a combination of feelings (usually positive) that compel one to act a certain way toward another thing or person. There are a few different types of love, one being familial/platonic love, a second being romantic love and a third being a love of an act/object/action. The third sits precariously on the edge of being love or not, as love most often must be returned in equal measure to succeed. These loves are all of variable intensity, for example I love my mother more than I love my great-uncle Mort who I don’t even remember. However, I do love Uncle Mort just not to the extent that I love my mother.
Love is: accepting, Improving, caring, understanding, helping and hurting, enjoying, dependable, friendship, supporting, bolstering, believing, truthful, false, mysterious, a choice, hard work, inevitable.
Accepting the faults of others and learning to live with them. Improving yourself for the betterment of the whole. Caring for yourself and the others around you all of the time. Helping and hurting when actions are misinterpreted. Enjoying time well spent. Depending without worry. Forming friendships that last lifetimes. Supporting always, no matter the occasion. Bolstering confidence when it is flagging. Truthful when it is most needed and false when it most hurts. Mysterious in its motives. A choice to work with, hard work to keep, and inevitable in its eventuality.
I love:
- My family – all of it from annoying grandparents to crying poopy-diaper wielding baby cousins.
- My friends – even when I get slightly ticked off at them for not living up to their potential.
- My community – this consists of all of the people who do not fit into either of the above categories but still have held a prominent positive role in my life thus far. (This includes a few special teachers and coaches, etc.)
- My Puppy Dog – even though he’s not a puppy anymore (actually it has been like ten since he has been a puppy), I love Buster like no other dog and he will always hold a special place in my heart.
- Being outside and experiencing fantastic things – The great outdoors are a place of magic and wonder for me and I cherish the time I spend there like few other moments I have.
- Getting things done – the satisfaction of finishing a work or project and knowing you did well holds an irreplaceable place in my psyche.
I am quite comfortable in my own perception of love, though I do feel that it is thrown around too much in common speech. It is a special word that should be reserved for special times, not strewn haphazardly around like dirty laundry. I do occasionally use the word love to describe my affection for such items as shoes, candy (and other sweets), and other mundane items that I do not actually love in any sense of the word but “I really x300 like that thing” while this may be a improper use of the word I know what I mean when I say such things and try to avoid phrases like this in general. The list of things I have loved is wide and varied and perhaps too much so for a seventeen-year-old, but it is what it is and it’s never going to change. So let fate take me where she wills.
Ali B
Carly-
Nice Job! I like your definition of love as it applies to mine, sort of. I however have and intense and steamy relationship with Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, but only when it has been artificially dyed this awful green color. (Just Kidding) Gotta love the pets, don’t cha?
Ali : )
Love. Love is the ability to accept. Love is.. An awe-inspiring feeling. Like in our novel, there are so many different kinds of love out there. There of course is the being in love with someone, appreciating an inanimate object, family love, friend love, moment love, and etc. Love is also the ability to appreciate. I feel like love is forgiveness, reliability, and stability. Maybe I define love to be this way because that is what I’m looking for. Stability is the key to my own happiness. I need to be balanced in every aspect of my life. Having reliability is key to whether it’s a person or a piece of cheese. To know that it will be there when you want to see that person or eat that piece of cheese is relieving. Firstly, I love cheese. Cheese is by far one of the greatest comfort foods. Specifically, I love pepperoni cheese. I could go for some right now because I am stressed. I love cheese because it just instantly gives me satisfaction. I love my mom because despite the past, she will be the one person that truly knows me inside and out. She is probably one of the only people I’d die for. I truly love her. For some reason the one instance of love, which is a boy just sticks out of my head so clearly. I was so happy in the beginning of the year. I felt accepted and loved. I felt all the aspects that I didn’t know at the time I was looking for. I love running and having no fear. I love when I’m upset, doing the unthinkable. I love having my T-tops off in my car and just driving as fast as I can go. I love passing five cars all at once. I love the excitement of meeting a new person and the first kiss. I love going to the beach a lone and bringing a book to read. I love being with friends at a laidback environment. I love campfires and smelling all smokey the next day. I love the idea of forgetting about so many things. I love the idea of getting lost in the woods. I love fruit smoothies. I love sleeping on the beach. I love the motivational idea that I will meet my husband in Europe. Love is just an iffy word. It’s a word where its meaning completely depends upon on the other words that surround it. Many other words in our language are over used. Love is defined by your own wants and needs.
The Greeks are another people who have realized that one word for such a strong feeling cannot possibly cover every differing circumstance that the feeling appears in. In The New Testament, which was written in Greek, there are at least three different words used in the Scripture to denote different types of love. There are three words in the Greek language for 'love:' you have the EROS love, which is anything that is sexual and romantic. Then you have PHILEO love, which is more like a friendship love or a brotherly love. And then you have AGAPAO love (God-like love), which happens to be the most important and most difficult of all love; it is the ability to love another unconditionally, without any feelings of jealousy, without expecting it back, and to act in the interest of that person. Many argue that this love, for that reason, is so difficult that only God himself is capable of loving in such way.
At first glance at this week's blog, I admit I rolled my eyes and thought about not doing it at all. I'm not like a romantic, lovey- dovey person who says 'I love you' all the time. actually, I've never said those words in my life. Not that i don't experience it, I just think it's gay. I noticed some while back that we don't say it in my family, right after i noticed how frequently everyone else said it to their parents. so I asked my dad why we don't say it and he said because when you say it often, it loses its meaning, and that we didn't need to say it because we show it. So like I was saying, I was contemplating on whether I should do the blog at all, and as I sat there in late detention, making up one of my obligations for 20 lates and 17 absences, I figured I'd do it since I had nothing better to do at the moment. I figured that this was what the blogs were for; to get me to think and realize new things. So i decided to do it to see what I'd come up with.
And this is what I got....
For one, I learned that trying to pinpoint a definition for love is not an easy thing to do. After brainstorming for about 40 minutes, and coming up with disappointing results along with barely any results, I ended up combining my random thoughts to form this: Love is a feeling, one that can often be confused with other feelings. It is a feeling humans thirst the most, and search the most. It enables us to open up, and to from stronger bonds with one another. It makes us happy and we know that without that what we love the most, we would be miserable. It is hard to imagine our lives without what it is that we target our love towards. It gets us going each day, gives us a reason to live, provides us a sense of security. When you love someone, you admire them, you care for them, you act in their best interest, you provide support for them, you're there for them. Thats seems too long of a definition until you remember what it is that we're defining: love. The one thing we can't seem to figure out, because it can be defined and experienced in so many different ways.
Now that the hard part's done, what do I love? well to state the obvious and the expected , I love my family, and I love my friends. I love my GOD, and I love my life. The list goes on: Everybody Loves Raymond, The Beatles, Cowboys, Robert De Niro, hot sauce, shoes, TRAVELING, making new friends, spending time with my friends......But I'm just confusing myself now because my definition of love doesn't seem to fit these because the definition i've provided seems to be able to exist between humans. And THAT is why we should have more words for it.
And as for the last question: YES, more than I expected. Love is such a sacred word it should be reserved for certain people and circumstances. This whole blog is making me question and confuse myself!!! geez...I'll just end it here and hope that at least some of it made sense.
BEn C:
"The Beatles, The Grateful Dead, and Bob Dylan"
BENNNNN you never told me you liked the Beatles...i put that as one of my choices too. and i also love Bob Dylan, he is the mannnnnnn...i'm not too familiar with the Grateful Dead but judging by your taste, i'm sure they're amazing
However, at times I’d like to think love doesn’t exist. Every person should have the opportunity to experience love, but I think love is the biggest addiction known to man. At least for me, I yearn for not just one person to love me but for many. I love having the ball in my court where I have the person vulnerable enough to tell me that they love me. This sounds horrible, but it’s true. Having someone love you gives you the opportunity to manipulate. You understand how to make that person tick and you know how to get what you want. I hope I’m not the only person that does this. I doubt it because we all do this to our parents. Love takes away from independence.
Leonor:
LOVE…
Loss
Of
Valuable
Energy
I agree with this sometimes. Haha. Love can be a loss of valuable energy when you figure out you wasted X amount of time with that person that resulted in a bad situation.
MegSong -
"keeping my heart guarded with a steel wall a mile thick. =] Try to break that."
eventually, someone will melt the wall, then break its contents. The trick is getting it all callussed. I'd say you need one 'major' heartbreak and nine or ten minors before you're there.
But yea, it still doesn't work out if you ever want to be in another serious relationship after you finish the callus. You view your relationships as insignificant, and it's almost impossible to hide. You're ten times as likely to get bored with your current relationship, which makes you three times as likely to cheat.
Committment is something that's going to leave your heart open. But you can't be afraid. You need to be ready to cry. Getting your heart broken is just another rite of passage in this crazy little thing called life. Sometimes the right things feel so wrong, but if it wasn't for the wrong, how would we even know the right in the first place?
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Oh jeeze. I just realized I never posted my blog........I am terrible at these things. I guess we're nearing the end, though. Just a couple more blogs for me to mess up with my technological deficit.
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To be fair, I finished the blog late, anyway. I finished at 12:10.
Alright, now here's the blog.
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“Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me, cause in your company
I feel happy oh so happy and complete” - kina
I’m so mad right now, because Kina’s coming to the east coast again (New York), but the show’s only for 18+.
I hate to say it, but I don’t really believe in love. This comes from the fact that it’s not a constant, permanent state of mind, but a temporary one. This is what leads me to believe that if love does exist; it must be simply an emotion or attitude. Love as a relationship or state of being between two people just seems too farfetched to me.
I remember a time when I actually thought I was ‘in love’ with a girl. That was 2007, though. She’s a sophomore in college now, and I still talk to her about once a week, but I’ve moved on. What I was actually going through back then was an emotion. I was in a state of bliss whenever I was with her, and I simply confused that bliss and arousal with what we call ‘love.’ Therefore, in my terms of love (the emotion), yes, I was in love. In fact, love as an emotion makes tons of things love-plausible. You can love ice cream and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Come to think of it, loving those things is probably more of a love than with a person, because they’re bound to last longer than your love with the person. Fresh Prince never gets old.
“Cheating is like wearing your grandmother’s underpants.
It may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, then you have a serious problem!”
See that? Nick at Nite is just jam-packed full of hilarious classics. In this case, it was Family Matter’s Urkel. These classics make me happy, and that’s what I love about them. Late-night television is the best television around, because it puts me in that “love” attitude. Those feelings you feel towards a girl can’t really be expressed with our current love. Nevertheless, I’d say it’s better to expand love to everything else, than to limit it to something that’s often conditional and temporary, anyway.
Hmm, so I spent 3 hours on my blog and then my power went out and my computer still refuses to turn on. Really? (I'm hysterically laughing again.)
"You don’t have to be overly enthusiastic about how your loved one chews on bottle caps and almost chokes to death (Hayley’s Kyle) or aggressively grabs and cracks your toes when you least expect it (my lovely Brian), but you do have to realize that you can’t change the way someone is."
Hahahaha. Extremely true AND funny. :) They may do stupid things that we despise and want to kill them for, but we still accept them and love them wholeheartedly despite their stupidity :).
Well i believe we all remember with a little too much clarity my opinions of love. and as my lady of interest could possibly read this blog i think it would be best to avoid reliving past grievances. so in the spirit of love and nonsense along those lines I'll provide a definition of love that i would believe in if love and i were on speaking terms. and of course in order to adequately convey my thoughts on the subject I'll go to Bo Burnham for advice:
"Because love is taking that dive
Then, getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool
And love is a real life porn
Minus all the stuff that makes porn cool
And love is a homeless guy
Searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and
Finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they're all filled with chocolate and
Even though he's heart broken, he can't complain cuz he was hungry in the first place"
Yeah...that about sums up my feelings on the subject. Because no matter how much you want to believe in a fairy tale love story where the prince kisses sleeping beauty this is an unachievable notion. i don't believe that you can wake up everyday infatuated with a person. that person pervading your every thought and guiding your every action. I can't even understand why someone would want that life.To me this is an unnatural phenomena, something that only occurs in the anomaly of the human race. with all other species "love" does not exist, there is only the sporadic mating between individuals to produce offspring. Animals do not mate and stay together forever like humans tend to do or aspire to do. our society supports this unnatural process but the evidence of its failure to work is everywhere. why else would 60% of today's marriages ed in divorce? it's because people are not intended to tolerate each others irritating actions forever.
Well this topic is quite a slippery slope as i did not intend to head in this direction. I believe in love, i believe in love, i believe in love... i had the urge to type "lol" after writing that. anyway my ideal love is along the lines of the verses i posted at the beginning of this blog. It's something that you have to appreciate. if i was to love someone i would want to have that person in my company most of the time. however i can't stand the thought of adoring that persons every action. what fun or joy can be drawn from simply adoring everything about a person? a little conflict, a little cancer in the relationship is a great thing. It keeps you on your toes, makes you think. That's probably why Jordan and Mae get along so well when they're not going through packs of gum. Because they're both intelligent with very different outlooks on life they can constantly argue but at the same time appreciate the intelligence of the other person.
For me however i don't believe love can exist. Like a dog chasing it's tail i look for constant stimulation in life but i don't really know why. i feel like I'm stuck in that youngster stage where you can become tired of an objective within seconds of getting it. so i highly doubt that i could become so love struck by a single person that they would hold my attention for the rest of my life. not to say that I'd be cheating on any girlfriend i had left and right but i most likely wouldn't be with that person for a long time. its only natural for humans to move on an see new experiences rather then sit in the same life.
what do i love?
the first answer to pop into my head was nothing. Because if you love something you shouldn't be able to live without it. if you're giving a part of your heart to something or someone then how can you keep going when it is taken away. My first thoughts went to loving my family but i know that if i lost these people i would eventually rebuild my shattered pieces and be able to continue with life. But then as i went through my list continually crossing of the things i could live without i was left with nothing and realized i could die now and be ambivalent about it. so here is my list of things that i hold near and dear to me as i can't find something i believe i actually love.
my baby sister and my PopPop
my parents
thunderstorms
the gasp when you first dive into cold ocean water
the smell of the air after a fresh rain
pound cake with vanilla ice cream
running at night
dropping in on a big wave
swimming butterfly
when you read a really good book that gives you chills
my friends
roasted rosemary garlic skinned potatoes
or sweet potatoes cooked in onion and olive oil
I feel like i failed horribly at making a list that matters at all. the things i put up were for the most part trivial and nonsensical. However i believe that these things are what make life worth living. as you go day by day without the thins that bring warmth and joy into your life then what kind of life are you living? it is imperative to have these little luxuries in life. Maybe if you're not living your life to love, as I'm not, then you have to live to appreciate the little things that improve your day. It's quite a hollow world without these things.
Sarah C:
Your blog really made me consider my opinions on love actually existing or not. I also used to listen to the cure a lot, and that doesn't make me gay. I remember listening to the song just like heaven and i really became disillusioned with the possibility of me every coming to the point where i would completely worship the ground that someone walked on or someone worshiping me in the same way. although its a little depressing to think that can never happen i'mg lad other people think differently.
Love. What an entirely F**ked up word beyond believe. The sense of the word has and can change with almost everything and everyone we seem to encounter in our lives. So loosely and often do we use the word that at times, it seems to hold no present meaning other than signifying something’s existence? At other times when we use the word, it helps to symbolize what we would die for. So how do simply define something so complicated? Is there one definition that we can all hold as true? Can we fully understand it? The answers are: No, No, and “Get the F**k out of here.”
We can only hope that at one point in the short amount we spend on the Earth we can even begin to remotely grasp such a frustrating, single word in the English language. Which is highly unlikely considering wee don’t even use it in the right context half the time. So, with the very little experience I have in life and slight amount of education, I can only hope to interpret this menace right here.
Love 1- The love of things
Usually this tends to be the most “misused” tendency of love. We all blurted the word out in a hype of excitement at one point or another. I can easily turn around and say, “I love my Mail Jeep.” Do I actually love it? Yes and No. Yes, in backing that I really like this particular material. I like the thing and appreciate having it. No, in the sense that I don’t love it how you “normally” love stuff. I’m not going to stay up till 12:30 flirting with my mail jeep over the phone…well, maybe I would but normal people wouldn’t.
Describing: Happy, material, possess, taste good, looks good, great, fun, cool
Things: Mail Jeep, cheese, football, Under Armour, USNA
Love 2- The love of friendship
this is one we should always stand true to. Friends are something we practically have to possess. The love of a friend most people tend to stand by more than almost any other love. IT is something I couldn’t survive without. If it weren’t for those other dudes and chicks out there who stand next to me, I wouldn’t be where I am now-Happy as hell! People apart of Love 3 can be in this category, too.
Describing: Backed-up, grouped, defending, fun with, cool, chill with
Things: JK, JM, MH, ZR, KO, JP, JS, HA, CO, MR, Mr. Green
Love 3- The best feeling and the menace
This one is something that causes many problems. The love of another person is something we as humans always seem to screw up above all. If we aren’t messing it up, it messes us up. One moment someone can be in your face saying how they {love 3} you so much and care for you, the next they spit you in the face and kick you in the dirty. When it is all going good for you, it is probably the best feeling for you. You care for someone and they care for you; you would die for them if stands necessary. It can be great and a bitch.
Describing: Heart melting, warm, caring, gentle, feeling, smiles, long stares
Things: Too young…. (Little? I guess [Inside Thing])
Love 4- Family loving
Family love is something we all have. It can be cool and negotiating. The love of a mother for her child or between siblings can last a life time, as they should. It is amongst people you spend your whole life with and live with. They are the people you’ve always known and can rely on. Sometimes, yes, this relationship can spoil. In my opinion, it is never fully ruined between families. Blood has nothing to do with this.
Describe: Caring, backing, helpful, suffer with, related, live with. This includes pets
Things: Mommy, Daddy, my bro, all my aunts and cousins
(for the most part), Edison :D
Love 5- The most important
These can also be things, but more ideas. They are what you praise in your life. They are believes you invest yourself in. You can let these be dropped. They are everything that, even if the first five loves are lost, you will always have. You will never lose these and no one can take them from you. You may gain some along the way but you will not lose them. It is more of a belief in something. No matter what they are when you die, you should hold them high to the end.
Describing: passionate, obsessed, extreme, radical, willing, submissive, guidelines
Things: My country, My God, My People, Everything/everyone I’ve ever known
Just as an end note, you may have noticed I didn’t give a definition. That is because I do not believe I am ready to answer such a question. I’m sixteen. What the hell have I really seen? How can I mark a point on such a strong feeling. IT is beyond my mental capacity and way outside my range of thinking.
Meg: 1. Love – That tingly, butterfly-inducing feeling you get around that special someone. A single touch from them makes your senses become alive with awareness. A hug makes you feel your best, your happiest. You have the connection with them that is different from anyone else or anything you have ever experienced before. However, this feeling of love could also be dangerous. A quote that comes to mind is, “Love is blind.” Which it is. Interpret as you may, but I believe that I often get caught in the clutches of blind love, or strong liking, because I am stupid and have no expertise in that area. I don’t really know how that makes you look at me, but I assure you I am fixing this problem in my own way, by keeping my heart guarded with a steel wall a mile thick. =] Try to break that.
I totally disagree with that last part. I’m sorry :[ It just seems like most of the time, when people “love,” somehow someone finds a hammer big enough to crack your wall, no matter how thick.
JMas: “I do not have true love for anything, but I am a loving person. (In order to show the level of love I have I will assign a percentage.) I have a certain love for most everyone I come in contact with (1%). For people that rank my top tier of friends I do love them quite a bit (75%). As for my family, a little background information is required. I have a very distant family aside from my immediate family, grandparents and some aunts and uncles. We are all very close, perhaps a little too close for our own good. I would lay down my life for any of my family members, as they would certainly do for me. “
You would put percentages for how much you love people. That is an accurate deviation even though you love me 100% more than anyone else.
I was just curious, so I returned to this blog and hit Ctrl F. Then I typed in the word "myself". A ton of myself's turned up, but only one in the context I was looking for it in.
Not a single person in both ap lang classes said they loved themselves.
The reason this occured to me started with that talk about forgiveness in the SLoBs. The looks Ms. Bunje gave me when I said I found it really easy to forgive people because I have no respect for myself and find ways to make their fault my own kind of made me question why that was for a while. Why am I like that? Why am I willing to make excuses for the people around me, to forgive them and make my fault what was theirs?
Then it hit me. I was taking the SATs, and my essay question was about whether realizing the people we admire are imperfect is a positive or negative expirience. And therein lies the answer. It's because I don't love myself. In fact, I don't even like myself. I admire everyone else in the world more than I admire myself, and so I make excuses for them believing them, although imperfect, closer to it than me.
That's a really sad fact. I don't know how many people here would have put themselves down if it had occured to them, but I respect those people deeply. You are your harshest critic; you can hide nothing from yourself. So if you can love you, imperfections and all, it speaks worlds for you.
I however, cannot even bring myself to like me. What worlds does that speak about me?
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