Writing.
For some of you, the bane of your existence--for others, your reason for living. OK--scratch that, I am feeling very dramatic here, ya know, being close to death and all. Ahem..rewind.
Writing. Some of you hate it, some of you don't.
Blah. Ewwwww. That is horrible. Yeeeeesh, one more time...
Writing. Hateful chore, dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy your lofty GPA...OR instrument of intellectuality, gateway to the green grass of great grades?
Which is it for you? Why?
This blog, for some of you, is the most public your writing has ever been. When I say public--that is what I mean--all of your peers can log on at any time and read what you've written. In fact, they have to.
Does knowing that you are writing for a public audience ever influence what you say? What about how you write? Do you find yourself being more conscious of your grammar, mechanics, diction etc knowing that any one of your friends (or not-friends) may be reading your thoughts and ideas?
Now, translate that question into everyday conversation. Many of you have different groups of friends; "AP" friends, athletes (not trying to say they are mutually exclusive, but sometimes they are), party friends (no details, please--I may never recover), and maybe neighborhood friends that don't go to Oak. Do you ever find yourself speaking to them differently than you do some of your other friends? How about your family members? If so, why? If not, why not?
Finally, do you think you are judged on how well you speak and write? If you do, by whom? How do you feel about that?
(450 words/65pts)
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Well, for me at least, writing can be both a detriment to my hectic life and a way to just let go and vent my feelings. (that sounds so emo..haha) The times when I am forced to write on the spot is when I feel like it is a burden. And, it just so happens that those times seem to be of the most importance, for example, practice AP exams, SATs, PSATs, and all of those horrible picture prompts and persuasive essays. I hate them so much, and it is hard to even think of a word to describe it. Every time that one of these unplanned writing assignments is plopped onto my vacant and clammy desk I think ‘wonderful’. At first I think that I know what I have to do, but then when I try to transfer my complex thoughts to a page, I just blank, and I can’t really coherently put together all of the bits and pieces of information in my head transfers to the blank page as illegible gibberish.
But, when I am at home and need to just get something off of my mind, I sit at my computer, check my facebook =], open word, and just write for hours and hours. I don’t think that I have ever told anybody, but right now I probably have about 200 pages of writing, which is basically my electronic version of a diary. (Don’t even try to come on my computer and find it, because it is safely hidden where nobody would ever find it or think of looking for it.) Sometimes it is filled with paragraphs of eloquently written topics, or filled with spelling errors and obscenities, but most of all it is a bunch of jumbled thoughts that do not make any sense at all.
I try not to let fear of what people may think burden my writing, but I still subconsciously edit things in my head that I think are too inappropriate or off of the wall, because I don’t want to hurt or offend anybody. I think that I don’t really change my grammar too much from how I write and speak on a regular basis. Well, I guess I use more casual language in my blogs than I do in my graded writing and things that I do for school, because I feel like on blogs there is more of a free flowing environment.
Ok, I know that I have about seven million different personalities, and I don’t really know if my friends can tell or not, but I think that there are many different ways that I talk to different groups of people. SOOOO, I’ll start with a personality that was created about the middle of freshman year; the loud obnoxious hysterically laughing and making constant inside jokes all of the time me. I owe this one to the lady falcon’s soccer team and Hearn. From the outside we must look like an obnoxious Super Click, filled with inside jokes, which we are not afraid to scream down the hallway to another player. We can say one word and it will cause an immediate burst of obnoxious laughter.(Four for you Glenn Coco you go Glen Coco, pooping, practice before playoffs Hearn chasing birds, apples to apples, Dane Cook, Singing Happy Birthday at every meal every day in Penn State, being a family, read my mind, summertime,.etc…) Let me tell you, we are not afraid to say anything.
Well, I don’t drop the f bomb in front of my grandmom, so you can say that my language drastically changes when I talk to my parents, but it seems that over time, I am becoming more and more my real self around them. For a period of time my mom thought that my only friend was Megan, because I didn’t really communicate with her. I am defiantly judged by others by my language. Most of the time it is by elders or teachers. They give you a lot of respect when you can communicate with them and hold a decent conversation.
What what!!!!!!! first blog......chhhhhhheyyyaa.
I like to write. Enough said.
Joking.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah...
I don't really know how well others (peers) effect my writing styles (which is either humorous, sarcastic, or very serious and descriptive) but I would like to think that I influence (somewhat) if not the writing styles of my peers, than at least their thought process if only slightly.
I've always like writing, it's one of the few things that I can do even slightly proper with how fritzy my mind is sometimes. It's my major creative outlet (I'd paint, but I suck when it comes to colors and though I can draw, my style changes so much that I can't draw anything twice. And I tend to trip when I dance so that's a no-no for me too. heh.) But yeah, I've been writing for a really long time now and I don't really seeing myself being able to stop. I tend to get a little jittery if I don't write something creative for a long time and my mind gets all spasmy. I need to write, It's my addiction: some people smoke pot, some people boot black tar heroin, some people kill people dressed as cartoon characters, I write (it seems to be the most non-bad thing.)
AS far as the grammar/diction is concerned, I can't really determine how I augment my writing. Usually I choose the words and stances I do depending on my energy level and how much actual effort I feel like putting forth. But to be perfectly honest, my grammar and mechanics suck: Sarah, Hilary, and Ms. Brown can all vouch for that (I think I bombed every grammar and spelling quiz we've ever had in verbal enrichment... things like that have never really concerned me. Hell, my handwriting is nearly illegible anyway so half of the time people have no idea what I'm trying to say anyhow. Whoops. Thank Heaven for computers and spell check! YAYS!)
I don't like to edit what I say so the whole "speaking in public bit" does kind of bother me since you have to be "audience considerate." You never know who you might offend with your ideas and thoughts. I don't like editing out words of phrases: if you're gonna curse in your writing, do it. I mean, hell, if that's how your thought process works you need to air your opinions as such. I mean, we think in language so the quality of our thoughts can only be as good as the quality of our language, so if you think in negative terms your words will come out in the same fashion; you can't bull your way around it no matter how you try because if you do, it comes out sounding off. I don't tend to hold back in my writing and so sometimes I say things others don't like but I can't help the way that i am and have been raised.
That's partially why I can't stand euphemisms. They bug me to no ends. If you're going to say something, freaking SAY IT! I never used those blasted things when I was little and it used to make people (especially teachers) rather ticked at me because it would sometimes result in someone else crying. I still don't use them and now everyone seems as though to just deal with it. Like myself, my writing is blunt, truthful, and to the point to a sometimes not positive ends. I'm honest to a fault; it's what makes me so great and at the same time so horrible. A lot of people call me evil because of this.
So I'm evil.
I can live with that. In fact, that seems pretty cool. I am the evil overlord (evil people always have some kind of cool title like that. SWEET!)
I love being evil.
Second post! Take that! WOOT! WOOT!
Um, I'm going to assume that the majority of people in an AP English class like to write, or at least don't completely despise writing in general (I agree with Britt GG... timed writings are an especially painful pimple on the face of my existence). If they just hated writing, then they would have taken CP, right?
I like to write (besides timed essays). It's soothing to get your thoughts down on paper (or word processor). I definitely prefer to just sort of write down whatever pops into my head (like I do in all my blogs... as you've probably noticed. God help me, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" has been stuck in my head all day. Back to the blog now).
Anyway, writing is just something that I find fun and soothing. But I have a slight writing problem, which relates to my hatred of timed writings. See, whenever I get into a writing, sometimes I'll get on a role, and write ten pages in a half hour. But a lot of the times, especially on schoolwork, I'll get lost in thought and only write a sentence in an hour. Don't believe me? You should have been in my creative writing class last year. One class period, I was working on a short story, started imagining and working through/perfecting a scene in the story in my head. I smoothed out all the wrinkles and perfectly arranged all the details in my head when, to my surprise the bell rang and everybody got up to leave. Surely that wasn't the end of class bell, I thought to myself. But it was, and I had simply become lost in my own thoughts. I looked at my computer monitor and was astonished to find a grand total of three words glaring back at me. In 45 minutes, I had only written three words!
But I can always tell if I'm enjoying writing if I get lost in thought. The end result is usually better, as well, even though it takes decidedly longer to produce. So timed writing is a catch-22 for me. Either I'm really enjoying myself and getting nothing done, or I'm super-focused, watch my time, plan my ideas... and still don't finish.
So I can be super factual and fail, or super fun (or confusing and disjointed and rambly to everbody else, but you know, fun for me... whatever, I'm Sarah Crane.) and still fail.
Epic time fail.
Where was I? Good thing these blogs aren't timed...
Okay, on to the next point.
Maybe you got this impression already, but writing for an audience on the blog doesn't really change the way I write, or what I say. This is Sarah Crane's brain, uncensored, God help us all. Except I sound smarter in my head than I do when I'm writing or talking. Also, sometimes when I am reading a book, I start to think in the same tone as the main character, though I don't talk like it, because can you imagine the oddity of me speaking like a Jane Austen character one day then like Maximum Ride the next? Oh god, I should really reign in my brain now. I'm going from slightly off-topic to schizo-esque.
When I'm actually speaking to an audience, I definitely try to keep my writing shorter and more on-point. And with less references to Britney Spears. And I've always been pretty good with grammar and spelling, so that's no problem.
I speak the same to all my friends; Loud, tending to talk to fast, sort of rambling with a dash of wierd, and lots of laughing and jokes. To people I don't know, though I'm very quiet and generally polite, unless they are impolite to me. Once I get to know someone though, I revert to my natural behavior. The number one comment I get from new friends is, "I used to think you were so nice and quiet..." and then something about how I'm completely different once they got to know me. Some of them say this in a regretful tone, and for good reason, because once someone gets me talking, I'm hard to shut up. When I talk to my family, I'm a little more reserved and quiet. But not much, except with my extended family, because that's always awkward. "Why is this woman hugging me? She's my second cousin? I've never seen her in my life!"
I think I'm judged on state and regular tests on how well I write, which is okay, because when this happens, I can really put on the smarty-pants and hoist 'em up high (and yes, I know that little phrase just completely ruined my credibility. Whatever, I'm Sarah, etc.) Some teachers do judge on how well I can speak, but for these teachers, usually the GPA speaks louder than my enormous mouth. So, it's all good.
It's AALLLL good.
"I’ll start with a personality that was created about the middle of freshman year; the loud obnoxious hysterically laughing and making constant inside jokes all of the time me. I owe this one to the lady falcon’s soccer team and Hearn. From the outside we must look like an obnoxious Super Click, filled with inside jokes, which we are not afraid to scream down the hallway to another player. We can say one word and it will cause an immediate burst of obnoxious laughter.(Four for you Glenn Coco you go Glen Coco, pooping, practice before playoffs Hearn chasing birds, apples to apples, Dane Cook, Singing Happy Birthday at every meal every day in Penn State, being a family, read my mind, summertime,.etc…) Let me tell you, we are not afraid to say anything."
GOETZE!
For real we are kind of super clickish. But yes my actions around soccer girls and Hearn are meant only for the girls..and Hearn. We have thousands of inside jokes and every day is a 'remember when.' I was peeing my pants reading the short list of memories you have from penn state and practices, and I know that if one of those times were recited with the team we could be laughing and screaming obnoxiously for days. Gotta love us!!
SAVE ME A PIECE OF THAT CORN!
Writing. In grade school, writing was unfortunately made a chore in which we wrote about trivial matters that we responded to with typical answers like Roberts explained in that lovely essay. When I reached high school, and specifically began writing for Costal and these blogs for Bunje, everything became a little more personal. Every blog topic is something in which I can devise my own opinion and argument to support my point. Even though we comment, “I agree” on many people’s blogs, none of our ideas are identical to the other. I don’t know if enjoy is the right word, but I find a sort of escape through writing which is hard to express through my everyday actions. Like Goetze was saying, I have written, not really journal-like, but every once in a while, when something is really pissing me off or I’m upset just to get those feelings out of my head. Although I have become particularly loud, “the loudest person ever” as Alison said (:/) and obnoxious since entering high school, and joining the soccer team, I still stay away from the small bits of self-expression when it is regarding feelings that are building up inside of me. You can ask Dev, there has been less than a handful of times where I have really told her what’s up. I usually respond, “I’m alright” or “Nothing.” I know this pisses Devon off but I for some reason cannot make myself share my problems with other people. I just try and deal with them on my own. This is why although writing isn’t necessarily a hobby of mine, it has become a way for me to get my thoughts out and see what is bothering me at the moment, even if the only other person who can read what I wrote is God.
In these blogs, besides refraining myself from using an unnecessary amount of obscene words, basically say what ever I want. I try not to offend anyone, although my thoughts are never personally attacking people in general. I attack the blog as if I was directly communicating with someone, because this simplifies what I am saying for my sake, and probably anyone who reads it. I wish I could say profound words of wisdom like MegReese and Jon Schaeffer all the time, but I can’t. So instead I resort to creating different ideas that I can illustrate for anyone who chooses to read my blogs. Like formal writing in essays, I don’t spell or grammar checks blogs either. Bunje is probably stabbing me in the eye right now in her mind, but I try not to follow the strict laws of grammar because 1. I hate them, and 2. If I change a sentence because its a run on or fragment or the verb tense is wrong, I feel like I’m altogether changing what I wanted to say. Also I’m lazy and don’t like revisions, but I’ll have to work on that.
When it comes to speech, my everyday actions can speak for themselves. I’m “particularly loquacious” as Heromine would put it and often get in trouble from Bunje and Cervi in class because Hilface and I combined are like a television sitcom. This could also be regarded as disobedient or obnoxious, but I like to see it as a weird form of expression. I’m not going to tell you my dark secrets, but I will recite Dane Cook and Nick Swardson, while speaking in my Ricky Bobby accent whenever I feel like it. So yes, I would say my speech is different from my writing responses because it’s really hard to portray a southern accent in writing, and no one would understand what I was saying if I wrote the way I spoke.
I definitely have different tones with different groups of people throughout the day. Like Goetzey said, the soccer team is in a whole other world and only we understand what the other is saying. To innocent bystanders, we either look like freaks, hicks, or obnoxious jocks, but we are really just a team having an awesome time and sharing laughs every second of the day. If I didn’t play soccer or even softball, I would be the most boring person ever and I really can’t even picture my life without those crazy people that I love.
When I’m with my family it’s a little more laid back but still I recite Ricky Bobby and Borat, both favs. of my family. That’s immediate family, my grandparents and other relatives, I stay away from any form of intense laughter and crazy behavior because nothing is funny to them, and none of them laugh at my jokes anyway. :/ Obviously, I respect elders and teachers because I need to learn and it’s simply no polite to act like a bitch around them. Also, people I have recently met I usually tone it down for, because I wouldn’t have any friends if I introduced myself as a Borat impersonator. But, after a week to a month depending on the individual, I treat them like I treat all the rest of my friends and hope that they laugh and join in on the fun.
I’ve realized through this blog not only that I am obnoxiously sarcastic and loud, but how much the way I present myself and speak affects my writing. Although I don’t mimic my tone of voice in my writing, it’s still very close to my actions when in direct contact with others.
I'm probably going to sound like Supernerd here, but I actually love to write. I write all the time, whether it be for school or just for my own purposes. For someone like me, who tends to get extremely frustrated, passionate, and offensive when I try to talk to people, writing is a good way for me to keep my thoughts cohesive and my emotion in check. In fact, although I don't doubt the importance of verbal prowess, I think that being a good writer is one of the most valuable skills there are. I never understood how people could hate writing, because it's really nothing more than stringing together the appropriate words, making them flow, and sound good. It's never been hard for me, and although I realize that the writing process can be somewhat tedious, I can't seem to relate to people who just can't stand writing. The only complaint I have with writing, actually, is that sometimes (well, always, actually) I have difficulty translating ideas which otherwise make perfect sense in my head onto paper. Whenever I attempt to write about personal philosophy, I can never seem to do myself justice, for it seems as if no matter what I write, there is no way to morph an abstract idea into a tangible form. This is the only time in which I prefer the spoken word to the written, because, in cases like these, the spontaneous nature of conversation is better suited to relaying such ideas. Otherwise, however, I'd rather write about something than talk about it.
I find that I tend to write and speak in a similar fashion, in that I use some of the same phrases and my word choice is mostly the same. Personally, I don't really think that there should be a difference between the two, and although I'd hope that my writing is more eloquent and thought out, I try to model my speech after my writing. (Keep in mind that when I say speech I mean discussion, not banter between friends). This is most likely because I have a habit of narrating my life in the third person, as if I were writing a book about myself. I've done it ever since I was little. I can't think of a time where I didn't moniter my thoughts in such a fashion. For example, as I kneeled, vomiting, over the toilet last night, (I'm pretty sick right now, in case you didn't know) I caught myself thinking, "As she slumped over the toilet, the cool porceline relieving her flushed face, she thought about the sheer and utter wretchedness of the situation."
No, seriously. I did. Instead of thinking "Man, this sucks!" as many would have, I subconciously transformed an otherwise disgusting event into something that could have come out of a book. I'm not really sure as to why I do this, but since I can't seem to stop, I figure that I might as well just accept it.
Another thing: I have a hard time censoring my writing. If I feel like I need to make a point that could potentially considered offensive or rude, I'll either say it anyways, or find some a more discreet of saying it. Most of my writings are laden with an ulterior tone, whether it be sarcasm, or disgust, or disappointment. Normally, unless my reader is extremely critical, these underlying themes go unnoticed, and although the meaning was lost on my reader, I can still rest in peace knowing that I got my point across.
As for having different "groups" that consequently call for different speaking styles, I guess I could fall into this category. Although I try to stay the same at all times, I find that I use some words and phrases that are less intelligible some of my friends. For example, if I gave this blog to one of my friends, he'd probably be confused out of his mind. I'd have to reword some things so he'd be able to understand it. To other people, on the other hand, I can talk and write normally without fearing that they'll have a hard time comprehending it. Actually, I stand corrected. I just got a text from Jordan saying that I remind him of a "prospector" because I say "old school things" like "gosh", "darn", and "blast."
Well there's something you don't get every day.
Sarah--
Your blogs always make me laugh, and I absolutely love the way you write. You're always so sarcastic, yet serious at the same time, and this balance makes your blogs extrememly entertaining. My favorite line: "usually the GPA speaks louder than my enormous mouth." Haha!
This is pretty funny…I was thinking of doing an occasional paper sort of like this. Right, right…so writing- I…don’t absolutely LOVE it, but it’s not too bad either. Mostly it’s those darn persuasive essays and picture prompts that were assigned in grade school. I can’t stand being handed a paper and prompted to write in a thirty minute block (I mean t-minus three years ago when my brain wasn’t all scrambled up and I could actually write long, winding paragraphs in a matter of minutes.) I just don’t like being given a topic that I probably don’t really have much of an opinion on and expected to formulate a semi-cohesive thought process [about it] a few minutes later. Another reason is that I absolutely hate coming up with and/or telling stories. I guess you could say that I’m just not creative enough? I have kind of a severe writers block like ALL THE TIME…so it isn’t always the most fun of activities, writing on demand. Tasks like this though, personal (like Brittany said) and casual, I feel like I can try and convey my thoughts and even though I screw it up (a lot), I still enjoy the writing-process. It’s like this, I like writing when I feel in the mood, you know on my own time- that’s all. Specifically to answer your question though, I would say that writing is not quite a “dreadful stalker lying in wait to destroy my lofty GPA”, but close. This is definitely because I’m so inconsistent. My brain wants to run in five directions at once and so I end up with a big-old-jumbled mess; I’ll admit it, I think I could learn a bit in the area of good writing…cause as of now, I feel like I:
a. overuse commas
b. contradict myself too much
c. don’t have an “ideal” structure for my work
That’s probably a really really bad thing to say as a junior in AP Language, isn’t it?
Ummm, let me just slide away from that topic…I feel like I’m just digging myself into a 40 foot hole here. With my writing, I would say that I am no more careful with grammar than any day’s typical “Deana-style writing” that I hand in. Same with mechanics. Diction? Haha. Yeaaa, that one’s a funny story. Well- no actually it’s not too funny but…you get the point-right? I am extra careful when it comes to my word choice if I am really into the piece, if I’m not? I try to write seriously, it’s not always bombing the assignment; not always that it just sounds off; sometimes I am just for a serious-style. Its odd cause, for the most part, I think my writing in English class is the most important when it comes to diction, although I can’t really get out my thought sometimes. Like right now, I feel like I’m losing momentum. I’ll try to talk about something else in an attempt to gain some back…. So, back to when I am really meticulous about the words I choose to scribble on my bile-yellow paper (sorry for the color description...but…) I don’t really let the fact that others will read those words change anything too much, I just try to find the best words to satisfy my need to express myself. Maybe sometimes the words will be completely unsuitable, maybe they will be a good example of malapropism, maybe they won’t be words at all (that’s quite the rarity), but if it makes me feel that I am mirroring my thoughts, I’ll just go for it.
Friend time. School friends are different then “blind friends”. Why, you might ask….well that’s simply because I’m a huge hypocrite. I get annoyed when they act like a different species, yet I am admitting to treating them as if blind were a separate species! I’m so sorry…but I treat school friends like…hmm…like I’m nicer, quieter, more serious (except with my best friend). With my sighted best friend- Nichole- I am obnoxious. I act so much differently. I like to think she brings out the good, outgoing Deana in me. That is to say I speak informally; I drop whatever word needs to be dropped to get my thoughts across. (I mean like made up words not the F bomb) It’s sort of like when I write on my own time…I just speak however I feel most comfortable. Blind people… (Btw they’re not like blind-BLIND; just like me vision all the way to completely blind…it varies…so I act very different. I have such freedom there. I speak before I think there. I know for a fact, that people think I am very ditzy. Some don’t believe it when they hear AP…but those are just the blidies that don’t know me well. The ones who know me well are the ones that I speak like with Nichole with- but more intense (haha). I just feel more judgment free with those friends than anyone else. Parents…speak? Me? To them? Well…IF- and that’s a BIG if- they were ever home to listen to me, I would speak with attitude, with a sureness. I would not curse because that is just rude, but I would act impervious.like I’m over it. I would speak with sophistication. They seem to think I am smart, so yes, they would influence me. But…never gona happen..So...next question please. I feel like people DEFINITELY take into account how one speaks. I mean, maybe not your closest pals, but strangers- for first impression reasons. I almost don’t care, but as I have said, I speak differently with different people…so a part of me must care.
brittany gg
Haha, its funny how you say let me start out with a personality that developed… hehe =) I laughed. I guess it’s sort of true though, how people have different “personalities”- I’m not sure if I would phrase it that way though, for aesthetic reasons (haha). As for being obnoxious and loud, as for spitting out inside jokes a lot- I think it’s like that with everyone who gets comfortable with certain people. It’s awesome that you guys are that close.
Writing for me cannot even begin to fit into either of those categories.
I love to write. However, I can't stand writing on a topic. My brain lacks the ability to think intelligently on a single, specific subject for more than an hour. This is why all my assignments take me hours and hours to complete, because I slip away after an hour, and after that I spend all my time trying to reel back my mind.
If I ever describe my writing as a "gateway to the green grass of great grades," while I'd be using some darn good alliteration, I'd also be completely and mercilessly lying to you. Writing's appeal lies not in its ability to secure your class rank.
Writing is the simple joy of filling up a blank page with meaningless thoughts.
Writing is connecting mind to fingers to page in a single stream of surging intellectuality.
Writing is finding the key to your prison of pseudoconsciousness.
Writing is the uncorking of your emotions, memories, dreams, and daydreams, only to spill it all on your keyboard.
Writing is forsaking one's body to live vicariously through the collective universe.
Writing is freedom.
I'm sure if I ever felt like I was writing for a public audience, it would change how I wrote, but I've never know the pleasure of such a feeling. When I write I soar off to another world deep in my mind (Thanks, Phife). Come to think of it, I do write for an audience, just as I have been doing all my life. It is a private audience. I know next to no one reads the crap that flys from my pen, so I create an imaginery audience. They're quite vocal with their opinions of my writing, so I know when it sucks, when it blows, and when it makes a whole forest cringe in mourning of their friend's wasted body.
When I'm commenting on these blog posts, I never feel exposed. Since I know the pathetic amount of comments that I read, and I hear the complaints from my peers about how little free time they possess, I doubt too many people are wasting time dirtying their eyes on my prosaic musings.
I speak pretty much the same to all of my friends. Of course, the topics of discussion change with the friends. I'm not going to discuss the logistics of raichu vs. electrode when I should be discussing how i can brighten up my whole day just by thinking of you.
Family is a completely different speech. All business. Over the years, I've learned that my mother doesn't listen to a thing I say, and while my father does listen, he always wonders why I bother. He's a bit pessimistic about the philosophy of things. So, I've narrowed down our conversations to: commentary on whatever's going on at the time, expressions of gratitude, informing them of my whereabouts, and requesting rides or permission.
Nobody judges me by how well I speak or write. They judge me by my words, my ideas, and my personality. How well I put those onto paper doesn't make anyone judge me as a person. Sure, they'll judge me as a writer, or as a speaker, but they're not going to say "My word! Dear chap, I do seem to take most delight in your dialect. Might you accompany me and my comrades for some tea this afternoon? Ah! It's settled, then. We shall meet under yander oak tree when the shadows are most miniscule."
I'm quite strange when it comes to writing. In general, I'm not a huge fan. If a teacher hands out an essay to write, chances are I will procrastinate and just type up whatever I can to get it done. I know, that's horrible. However, I can't make myself care enough to do the job right. In order for me to enjoy writing, I need to be inspired. When I'm inspired to write, it's a whole different story. I absoutely love writing about things that I can relate to, or have experienced. That is why I enjoy blogs, occassional papers, journals, etc. If you were to ask me, however, if I prefered the written or spoken word? Spoken would win by a landslide. Although I enjoy writing my feelings, talking about them is so much better. Thinking and talking are my favorites, not writing...
Knowing that I'm writing for a public audience does not influence what I say. I try very hard to keep these blogs truthful, because they would be pointless if I didn't. Bunje, you post these questions for us to think about and spend some time on. What good would it be if we didn't tell the truth? What would we be accomplishing? I established this outlook very on, and I think that through my writing on the blogs, I have just been myself. Some people may feel the need to "sugar coat" stuff that they say on here, or to make it sound less offensive. However, I'm a rather mild person, who tries to see both sides of a story. Therefore I don't feel as though I have to do this. Nothing I say is that strongly worded.
I try to be myself around everyone. Although I'm somewhat moody, I generally feel that I'm getting better at being myself no matter who I'm around. It really makes me angry when people change. Now, I'm not just talking about little changes. I know some people who completely change from group to group. That just pisses me off. And if I'm one of those people, please let me know. I don't consider myself that kind of person, but maybe I'm oblivious. People I am most comfortable around (my family and Mike) I do not change at all. And I can say that with confidence. Even around friends I think I'm pretty true to myself. Strangers? I can be quiet, but then again most people are.
In general, writing and speaking are extremely important. Everyday we are judged on these abilities. They are the major modes of communication, so of course we're judged based on them. Why else would colleges require interviews and/or essays? You can tell a lot about a person by how they speak and write. It's everything. Personally, I don't mind being judged on these traits. I find myself to be a rather decent speaker. Although my writing isn't the best, I don't hate it. It's good enough, and I'm working on making it better.
While growing up, listening to the countless times my dad has answered the phone I can usually tell just who it is by his tone of voice and what he says. He is formal and often more uptight sounding if it is my mom’s parents calling, but if it is his dad, he is easy going and relaxed. This has been useful in avoiding phone conversations with people I am not really in the mood to talk with. I usually can sneak off before my dad gives me the signal that he is about to hand me the phone. I admit, like my father, I change my style of talking depending upon the people I am with and that goes along with my writing.
I feel like when I am writing my blogs, I need to be more careful and choosy over what I say. A large majority of my peers that I have to see all day read the blogs, so I find myself sometimes holding back on the answers to Bunje’s questions. The blogs I read every week are so eloquent
and well written that I feel mine are nothing in comparison to those. It is admirable how some fellow AP langers have no fear of what others may think or say about their responses and put every emotion into it. Their diction is so accurate and their content is so thought provoking that it makes me jealous that I have not so far been able to write like that. I really scan over my grammar and try to use the most sophisticated word choice, before eventually getting frustrated on falling short of words. Bunje, you are judging me, and the rest of us, from what we write on here because this is the most where you get to here most of our insightful things. For me, I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. I want you to really understand me for who I am and I think in order to do that I need to stop being so hesitant with my responses.
I don’t know why I feel like I need to be a certain way in the presence of AP kids. I don’t feel like I really belong in that click because I am not as competitive or maybe it is just because I see them as judgmental. This isn’t meant to offend anyone because I am sure it is just me being paranoid or whatever, but I just wouldn’t put myself in the AP kids click. I am friends with some in school, but I rarely if ever hang out with any of them outside of school. It isn’t anything personal at all. I just feel more uptight around them and don’t feel like I can really be myself. I really don’t understand it, like my friend who is not in AP courses told me I am not as outgoing and more reserved. I try not to say anything that could potentially be embarrassing and I try to just blend in when I am with them. I am nervous that if I speak my mind I will sound less intelligent than the rest of them. Going back to blogs, that is what kind of makes me hesitant in participating in class. I always feel like my answers will not be as good as the next persons, so I wait to hear what the other students have to say. I am not saying I don’t like the people in those classes because I honestly do. All of them are usually very nice and so interesting to talk with, but I just don’t feel like I belong in that click of students.
One click I am very jealous of in the school is the soccer girls. They always seem like they are getting along and having a good time, with all their inside jokes and whatnot. I want to be part of something like that, where they all can just be themselves and be all goofy. I don’t really know what “click” I am apart of or if I even am apart of one. I just have friends from all different ones. My main group of people I hang out with are my best friends. They are the ones where I can be myself and just relax. I don’t feel uptight around them or uneasy and they are the ones where I can usually do anything and won’t be judged. Most of these people are from CP classes and are just looking to have a good time. We all can go out and get along, and anything we do is usually fun. I feel like I wont be judged on what comes out of my mouth and sometimes it is just jumbling of words which makes everyone make fun of me but in the laugh at yourself kind of way. These are the people I feel most comfortable around and can just be myself without worrying about anything. I don’t feel like I need to be a certain person in their eyes, I can just be me.
My family, hmm. I think that most people are more reserved at home than with their friends. They can be a little more on the crazy side and not have to worry about offending someone. In front of my family I definitely try to match the vision of a good child in their eyes. I don’t want to be someone that they are ashamed of. I want to make them proud of me so I act more dignified and hold back things that they probably wouldn’t like to hear about. My grandparents still look at me like I am five years old. My dad’s dad even got me a Barbie clock last year, like really? They don’t want to even consider the possibility that I am with a boy or even think that I may be going to parties. They block the ideas from their minds and preserve that image of me with chubby cheeks and my little dress up dresses I used to parade around in. I just try to be that ideal kid in their eyes. With my mom and dad I am a little less censored. My dad doesn’t want to think of me with a boy still, but he is more lenient with me staying out at night and going places on the weekend. My mom and I are really close though, so I feel I can definitely be more open with her. I tell her mostly everything, and just keep out certain stuff that I knows she really could do without hearing. She doesn’t judge me when I make a mistake, but just advises me and keeps me on the right path. I know that whatever I say she does not think less of me as a person or her daughter, but I can tell she is proud of me.
I wouldn’t say I love writing, but I wouldn’t say I hate it either. The only way to describe my writing is viewing it as if it were a person. And if this was somehow possible, it would be one of those people that never talks, but once you get them started on something they will never stop. I mean, I don’t go out of my way to write out all of the ideas in my head in sentence form and I certainly don’t look forward to assignments that must meet certain quotas, but once in a while, (in this class: once a week), there comes up things that are actually really liberating to write about, and ultimately sort of fun. The reason that writing is liberating in certain areas rather than others is because of its purpose and function. Ever since humans began writing its goal as been to communicate ideas, thoughts, and philosophies. This is why when asked about what our views are on the world and people around us compared to an essay on ‘What We Did This Weekend’ has the refining affect on us of making us think as vigorously as possible. Although my feelings towards writing are mixed and pretty confusing, I would say that as a writer I fall more towards the ‘like writing’ side. Even as I sit and write about how I like to write, I can’t help but think about how my blog post is going to suck. All I can think about is how bad mine is going to end up sounding, and how my post is going to be one of the first ones since I have to go to a Christmas Party, meaning: everyone might read my blog! Besides this fear I have in the back of my mind right now that probably ends up blocking out some good ideas, I must admit that in this blog along with many in the past, I always see myself trying to add a little extra ‘oomph’ to it, ‘oomph’ meaning spunk, personality, humor. I don’t know if this is good or bad, but the truth is that I try really, really hard to sound half decent in these blogs. I guess I could just naturally be this pathetic/nerdy, but in actuality I know a big portion of it comes down to the fact that there’s almost 50 other people who might be reading my blog. At this point I don’t even care so much about my mechanics and grammar, but worry most about making sense! The funny thing is that although this is true, somehow I always find myself bearing my innermost personal opinions and thoughts to 50 or so people, where most of whom I’m not even that close with. This itself is another thing that I would love to address. You put it perfectly when you addressed the fact that as people intertwined in cliques and groups and families, there’s no question that we respond and handle these people in different ways than others. To a certain extent, I think that we need these boundaries between one another, as well as set up between friends and family. For instance I could go up to Hannah and tell her about this boy I met at the mall this weekend, and we’d end up having a long conversation about love and relationships, where as the same story presented to my dad would end up in an extremely short conversation along with me never getting another ride to the mall. What it comes down to is the fact that we express ourselves whether through writing or conversation to people that we know will listen to it, but above listen, will divulge upon it. Being social creatures, I believe that we like to hear responses, ideas, and reactions towards the things that we actually take the time to talk about and act upon. We talk to these certain groups of people about specific things because we know that by conversing in them, that we both might share in the ideas and thoughts about them. So, in this idea I would have to say no to the fact that people judge me on the way I write and speak. This scenario of being judged on speech/writing might be true for some people, but I don’t surround myself with the kinds of people, so luckily I don’t have to worry about that kind of pressure. A person who has to deal with the idea of impressing the people around them, certainly needs to surround himself with newer people who don’t take themselves so seriously. So to wrap this idea up, I’ll just add that I believe writing can only be beneficial to the writer as well as the people who read that writing, even if the writer feels conscious about the group reading it or the grammar used.
‘But, when I am at home and need to just get something off of my mind, I sit at my computer, check my facebook =], open word, and just write for hours and hours. I don’t think that I have ever told anybody, but right now I probably have about 200 pages of writing, which is basically my electronic version of a diary’
-Brit G
------BRIT! There’s so much I want to say about your blog, and ill get to that, but I wanted to start on this statement you made, lol. I really have so much respect and admiration at your actions of doing this. I’ve always wanted to do this, but have pathetically given up before I’ve even started because of two reasons. One is that I usually want to write about something I’m upset about, but whenever I get upset I just crawl up in a bawl and fall asleep, and two, because I always figure the therapeutic feeling that I hope for will wind up never coming to me, so please let me know how it makes you feel. Second, I just want to say I feel you when it comes to assignments on writing compared to self-willed writing, if that even makes sense. And third, I’ve really began to notice how you reflect your blogs even in real life, vice versa. Sorry if this is confusing, just as I type this I’m getting yelled at by my sister! Haha SISTERSSS… tell Devon I said hiiiii! Haha <3 ily
Writing. To be completely honest I can’t stand to write. I feel so inadequate when I write anything, whether it be a 5 paragraph essay on if Pluto’s a planet or not or if it’s just writing a blog. I never feel like I can find the right word to say or that my writing will make sense to anyone else in the entire world but me. I only like doing things that I can do well, and to me writing isn’t something that I excel at in any shape or form. I feel that because my writing isn’t the most amazing bit of jargon to come on to the cyber world that it almost pains me. I can enjoy writing sometimes, but most of the time it scares me. It’s not a fear of mine but it is a slight reminder that there is something that I wish I could do well that in all reality I’m not the best at. When I write I like to have a sense of reckless abandon. Its mainly because if you can’t beat them why not join them. I think its better to write with all you have then to hold back and write nothing intellectual at all. Writing intelligently is something I struggle with, I’m not the best at putting my ideas down on paper. It majorly stresses me out the idea of having to write a blog every week on very compelling subjects that I never feel I can answer the way I want to in my head. It not so much the act of writing that I hate I just hate the fact I never feel like I get it right. Thus, I get frustrated and decide that I’m terrible at writing and force myself into thinking of it as a black hole that if I don’t get better at orbiting I’ll fall in and fail at the multiple things I try. It’s one of those grade busters for me.
The fact that I am writing for a very public audience doesn’t bother me at all. Actually it’s something I love because I feel like everyone gets to know me a little better while I’m getting to know them much better through their writing. I love to read, and I really think it’s a great way to get to know the people you interact with everyday. I don’t change what I’m writing ever just because I know other people are going to read it. I do have a minor fear of doing something grammatically incorrect and being laughed at.
I’m honestly a what-you-see-is-what-you-get type of person. To me it is very important to be as real as possible with every person I come in contact with whether or not they will like it. With every group of friends I come in contact I am the same exact person. I’m just not a big fan of change, and to change myself for who I’m around honestly seems pointless to me because I’m one person love it or leave it. The people in my life love me for me and I know that because I’m a tough person to get along with and yet they are still here and still my friends. Around my parents I’m normally the same person and the same way it’s just I tone down my language. I’m not allowed to curse in front of my parents and don’t like to. My personality and my choice of words are normally the same though. Sometimes I let one slip and my parents deal with it. They know who I am and I think that because of my one way personality I have problems adapting but I try to adapt in a way that keeps me, well me.
I think we are all judged on how well we write, by the colleges that we will attend by the teachers that grade us. Personally I don’t like to judge people on how well they write because I feel their pain if they aren’t the best writer in the world. I think we are bound to get judged on our writing and speaking because it’s a skill and most of our skills are judged. I feel like even though it’s bound to happen its part of life and that we each have to work with what we’ve been given and just work on everything we can. Some things we just can’t change, but we can do our best to improve them and the situation.
Oh and right now I am avoiding writing a five paragraph essay on whether Pluto is a planet or not... hehe.
Morgan -
“I feel mine are nothing in comparison to those. It is admirable how some fellow AP langers have no fear of what others may think or say about their responses and put every emotion into it. Their diction is so accurate and their content is so thought provoking that it makes me jealous that I have not so far been able to write like that.”
I know exactly how you feel when you say it’s really hard to write when your being compared to amazing writers like the people on this blog, but even if you don’t know it your one of those really intelligent and thought provoking writers yourself. Everyone is thought provoking because each person on this blog has a different take on each question. I think you’re an excellent writer and overall a very smart person. You’re always so funny and thought provoking when I talk to you in wither pre calc, gym or history. I read your blog frequently and can honestly say you are a really good writer, so don’t ever doubt yourself and open up when you’re ready. You’ll be amazed at how much easier it gets when you just let go.
Writing has always been a pleasure for me. Even in 6th grade, I used to love it when we were assigned a writing project, while everyone else groaned about it.
I do have a preference to the type of writing that I like to do though. I prefer the writing that I do in creative writing class, because I enjoy writing my own short stories since it means that I can write freely, with no set of rules or specific format that I have to follow. I can apply my own style and tone, and anything else I like.
Even though I don't mind the writing assignments we get in class, I find that I don't enjoy working with them as much, and they don't turn out as good as my other pieces of writing.
Actually, the reason that I took AP lang. was to improve my writing skill. And I gotta say, I love this class because I see myself improving almost daily: I employ the rhetorical modes, the vocab, literary devices, tone and everything learned in this class, to my personal writings. And lately, while I'm listening to a song, I find myself involuntarily seeking literary devices in the lyrics. For example, a few minutes ago, I was listening to Pink Floyd's "Hey You" and the lyrics said, "we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl" and I was like, "hey! there goes another one!"
writing for a public audience never really influences what I say, but it did used to influence the way I wrote. I was more careful about grammar, mechanics AND word choice, because I didn't want to sound like an idiot. But this was when we first started writing the blogs. I was way more conscious because I wanted to make it sound good, since others were going to be reading it, not just the teacher. Lately, however, I don't really care how it sounds, or what words I use, or if I mess up the grammar. I just write what I have to write and I don't pay too much attention about how it turns out.
As for speaking, I speak to all my friends the same way: the way I always talk. Different friends don't influence the way I talk at all. I DO speak differently to people from my church, my parents' friends, and my priest, because I watch what I say, so I don't say something that is inappropriate for them.
As for my family, we don't speak English in my household. We always talk to each other in Georgian, and occasionally some Russian, so the only time I speak to my parents, sisters, or brother in English is when there are English-speaking people around, and I don't want them to think that we're talking about them. But even if we did speak to each other in English, I'm pretty sure I'd talk to them the same way I talk to my friends.
Everyone is definitely judged by the way they speak and write, and I don't think it's fair. Mostly, people are judged by those who are good at writing and speaking and think they are smarter or better than the one being judged. I don't understand this because I look at a person's personality more than anything else to to determine what kind of person they are. I never judge by their ability, or inability to write well or speak well. To me, that would be like judging a person by their looks. Because it is not looks, nor intelligence, nor the way they communicate that it important in a person, but their personality.
Phew! There are lots of questions to answer.
Okay, first of all, I like the idea of writing. I like the idea of being able to share one's thoughts with another, even if one person isn't physically there. I like the idea of writing something that is deep and profound and makes people scratch their heads, contemplating the meaning of it all. I like the idea of capturing beauty and the imagination that writing brings.
However, I do not believe that I possess this ability to mirror my own thoughts onto paper. I don't know what happens to the brain-to-paper process, but I feel as though I'm never satisfied with what I have written down. This makes writing a bit frustrating. I'm a little more confident in speaking, but sometimes I can sound like a one hundred percent idiot because the words came out all wrong. Ha ha. So what am I saying? Basically, long story short, I like writing more than I don't like it. It's a challenge.
As for grade-wise, I've always gotten decent grades in my English classes. I love the fact that in writing and English, there is no one concrete answer. This allows the development of individual thought, which is the most important thing in the world.
I don't believe that I write differently for different audiences. In "formal" writing (which is basically essay writing), I don't over exaggerate or am verbose like some people. Personally, big words and flowery writing makes me impatient and annoyed. It seems like the writer is sucking up to the reader, which lessens the respect between the two. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way. I don't know.
I've always been pretty decent at grammar. Mrs. Brown (shout out to Mullicans! You guys know...) sure whipped me into shape. In my fifth and sixth grade years, I've done enough grammar practice to... to... have lobsters crawling out of my ears. Okay, I can't think of an appropriate analogy, but it was a LOT of grammar. Even while texting, I keep my spelling and grammar relatively correct. Of course, now that I say this, I'll have multiple mistakes. Ha ha.
As for friends, I'm the same with all of them. I don't feel the need to impress anyone, or change my appearance, or try to act "cool," whatever that means. I'm pretty confident in saying that I haven't changed much since grade school until now. I've always loved laughing and making people laugh. I've matured, sure, but I still have the same core of myself. (At least I think-- it's hard to judge because I think I'm a little biased on this subject ha ha).
As for my family, there's a difference in how I act. For one, I curse around my friends, and around my parents, I DEFINITELY don't ha ha. Around my friends, I'm out going and loud and laugh even louder. Around my family, I'm more reserved (except for the first day Trevor comes home from college for a period of time... we are as loud and obnoxious as can be ha ha ha). We have our moments. :) I think I act a little differently because of the different settings. I'm equally comfortable and myself around both groups of people.
And yes, I believe everyone is judged by what they say or write. People are judged by what they write when applying for colleges in submitted essays for the intelligence of the content. Some English teachers judge their students on what they write. And people are judged by what they say every single day. Whether it's a person eavesdropping on a conversation or giving a speech in front of a student body, there is going to be people who think, "God, that girl is so stupid," or "Oh my gosh, can you believe what she just said? What a bitch..." and the list goes on. It's inevitable. It is human nature to make judgments the moment a person steps into a room. These judgments are either ratified or rejected when said person opens their mouth. Again, human nature. What a shame...
I feel like this isn't fair. There are people with substance who sound unintelligent, and there are people who sound intelligent (whatever that means) and are complete and one hundred percent pompous rear ends. Always dig deeper to get the core of a person. The outer layer doesn't always reflect a person's heart or true intentions.
Wow. One blog made me really sad.
“Ashley, you are excused from this assignment.”
I never thought I would hear such mind-devastating words escape the lips of the only woman in this world who taught me the evils of perfectionism, the importance of experience, and the essential need to know, if nothing else, who you are. I did not want to believe that these words had just been propagated into the atmosphere, and so I simply continued to stare at his name upon the top of my research paper: Tadeusz Borowski. She was looking right at me, it was as if I could feel the light being reflected by her eyes, but I couldn’t look up at her just yet. Upon the strike of May 9, 2006, my eighth grade English class was to hand in the bibliography and reflection parts of their research papers based on the life of one of the assigned Holocaust survivors. Unfortunately, I was the only one who had completed the assignment. Being the plethoric achiever I was, I had completed the research paper altogether. I can remember our teacher striding from one group of soundless students to the next with glowering eyes at research-paper-less desks. The moment she saw my paper, she picked it up slowly and began flipping through it, scanning each paragraph until she got to the ninth page (the bibliography). Then, she placed the paper back in front of me, and stood in the front of the classroom. That was when she said something that would have been seen by practically any other student as the touch of an angel, but for me, it was an unforgiving sentence to the underworld. All my life, writing has been the only world which I have been able to communicate through. It is through writing which I have been able to convince others that it only takes 40 milliseconds to change the world, that children are indeed the smartest beings in existence, and that in Vincent Van Gogh’s painting of a “Café Terrace at Night”, there was clearly star dust lightly descending upon clustered roof tops, glissading into the silent brick roads of a French scene. I know of no other way to clearly explain myself than through letters combined to make words, combined to make sentences, combined to make paragraphs, and finally combined to relay thoughts buried deep within. Regardless of whether I am forced to convey these thoughts through research, persuasion, cause-and-effect, picture prompts, or argumentative essays, it still serves as my way of communication. When this privilege is taken away, it’s like no longer being able to speak or even have the mere capability to convey mental thoughts. You are left with no purpose; the phone line is cut loose and you are left with a dead monotonous buzzing.
Knowing that these words are being shared with a public audience really does not influence what I say, how I write, or my attention to grammatical errors. Even if these words were meant only for my own eyes and mind, I would still challenge myself to see what thoughts or new ideas would come to me. What would be the point in writing something that did not truly reflect your capability or creativeness? Since writing is my main source of communication, I want to make sure that it reflects everything that I am. If I think of an event in my life that relates to the topic, I will include it. If I happen to have an opposing view to something, I will explain. If I feel as if statistics or important people should be referred to, I will cite them. My style of writing is also what I believe to be the strongest part about my writing, so I see no reason why I would change it even if there was no audience to analyze it. I also like to include new words that I have recently learned simply because it is one more word in the English dictionary that I have become familiar with. Some day, I hope to write a book that will elevate my thoughts to a national level. Even with the accumulation of readers, I will be sure to write no differently than if I were writing in a diary to no one but myself. Regardless, I will put everything that I have into my work.
My other world of communication: speaking, on the other hand, is much different than my ways of writing. When speaking to my family, I am very sarcastic; always making a joke or saying something to induce laughter. Even the tone of my voice when I speak to my family is much different than it is at school. At school, I tend to speak in a deep, serious manner, while at home, I speak with a very optimistic, girlish, high-pitched voice. When I speak to some of my close friends in gym class, I do still retain a deep tone, but it sounds slightly more comfortable. No matter whom I speak to though, I always have a difficult time saying what it is that I wish to say, except for when I talk to myself. It sounds strange, but the only person I have ever really been able to speak to with clear, coherent words is myself. When I study, I pretend like as if I am teaching a class, so there is a lot of explaining, gestures, and drawings on my white board that are involved in the process. I always find myself able to say whatever it is that I wish to say perfectly fine. It is clear what such a problem means, and it is simply that my ability to speak clearly and understandably depends on the familiarity of the person I am speaking to. Hence, when I speak to someone I don’t know, it’s a train wreck. I cannot wait to see how I will perform in a college interview with no idea of who the person is that I am talking to and absolutely no idea of what I want to say.
Are we judged on how well we speak and write? Absolutely. The reason behind this may be because we are all seeking that familiarity with other people that helps us to attain comfort. Once we have achieved this comfort, we are given the opportunity to like or dislike that person, and decide how they compare to ourselves. As to who is judging us, it’s everyone; family, friends, and strangers alike. Yet, judging is not always a negative act because it simply allows for further familiarity. What I find to be truly unfair is the fact that educationally, we are judged solely on how we speak or write at a certain time with no prior knowledge of our other successes or failures. When you get a question wrong on a test, it does not mater how many hours you stayed up the night before fueling yourself with energy drinks or how well you did on the practice exam. Instead, you are judged instantaneously with no second chances. People who are judged by merely one occasion is beyond the point of being unfair or unreasonable. When a person is judged based upon prior knowledge and multiple occasions, only then can their judgment be considered fair. Unfortunately, when you fail a college exam, make a mistake at work, pay off a late bill, or fail to pick up our neighbor’s kid at school, you are only judged upon that one chance you were given. Perhaps you will be lucky enough to redo the test, gain the forgiveness of your boss, be given only a warning for the late bill, or regain the trust of your neighbor, but their judgment and perception of you is still stained with your mistake. It does not seem fair, but it’s natural. We can always work through such mistakes even if other people’s memory is damaged by what you have done. When your favorite white coattail dress is stained with wine, you can still make it pink, even though a few people will know that it is not its original color. Despite the existence of this judgment, we should not allow it to change our ways of communication through writing or speaking. We find ourselves through writing and speaking and it is through this same means by which we are able to find others. Together, we can introduce any of our thoughts to a living, breathing reality.
In response to Morgan C:
I have to say Morgan that I really liked your blog and a lot of what you said got my attention. For example, when you stated, “The blogs I read every week are so eloquent and well written that I feel mine are nothing in comparison to those.” Honestly, I don’t think it’s about the eloquence or word choice of the writing, but more so about the context or meaning of what it being said. Trust me, your blog along with everyone else’s makes a difference. Next, when you stated, “I don’t know why I feel like I need to be a certain way in the presence of AP kids. I don’t feel like I really belong in that click because I am not as competitive or maybe it is just because I see them as judgmental.” Some AP kids are somewhat competitive, but they just like to see how much they can accomplish. In a way, the competitiveness is a good thing. Then, when you said, “I am nervous that if I speak my mind I will sound less intelligent than the rest of them.” Sometimes, I do feel this way, but most of the time I just don’t know how to say what I want to say. As it says in my blog, I am definitely better at conveying my thoughts through writing than I am with words. Nevertheless, I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. Even if you are not sure that it is as good as what someone else wants to say, and it may not be, everyone’s interpretation still counts. Plus, if you sound confident in your answer, there is no reason for anyone to judge you because they will think it is your honest, passionate opinion (not to say that it’s not). This is something that I struggle with a lot, and I am hoping that by the end of this year I will change but it might take a miracle. “I always feel like my answers will not be as good as the next persons, so I wait to hear what the other students have to say.” This is something I do a lot, not necessarily in language, but in many of my other courses. I am always afraid to answer a question first, so sometimes I tend to hold back. Also, the soccer click that you mentioned is something that I only wish I was a part of. They are all really close friends that do seem to have a lot of fun together. I think I would be a much more confident person if I were a part of that group. “I think that most people are more reserved at home than with their friends.” When you said this, I was really surprised because I happen to be the complete opposite. At home, I am the funny, sarcastic one, but at school I am the quite, serious one. I wish I could bring out that other side of me in school, but I’ve never been successful. Again Morgan, I really liked reading your blog and knowing that someone feels the same way I do on some topics.
"You can ask Dev, there has been less than a handful of times where I have really told her what’s up. I usually respond, “I’m alright” or “Nothing.” I know this pisses Devon off but I for some reason cannot make myself share my problems with other people. I just try and deal with them on my own."
-Carly Chamberlain
Tell me about it. Carly you make me want to bang my head against the wall sometimes. Communication sure is one area where we are different. I tend to express my emotions quite clearly. And if you ask me what's wrong, I will tell you. You too express your emotions to a degree, however you hardly ever share what's up. I used to get my feelings hurt, thinking that you just didn't feel comfortable telling me. Yet now I know that that's just how you are. When you have some space and time, you will go to people if you need them. So I read your blog and I felt the need to comment on this part for some reason :) love ya.
I have very mixed feelings about writing. I believe that being able to write efficiently is a gift; one that I wish I had. I think—scratch that—I know I’m not a fantastic writer. Because writing is not my forte, I feel, for the most part, that whenever I am given a writing task, it is more of a burden than anything. I wish that I could always have the right word for how I feel or be able to relay my thoughts precisely in perfectly structured sentences. In my opinion, writing is one of the most valuable skills you could have but I unfortunately don’t write as well as I wish I could.
I don’t really hold back on this blog other than excluding the obnoxious profanities that may slip out of my mouth on occasional topics. So, knowing that people can see what I write doesn’t really affect my responses. These blogs would be pretty pointless if we didn’t speak our true feelings. Not to mention boring! I try to practice good grammar just so I do it automatically when we are actually graded on it. And because I know I don’t like how I sound most of the time, I always go back and rearrange or check what I have said, for the sole purpose of seeing if it makes sense. Most of the time, my feelings aren’t vicious and don’t attack what other people have said, so I don’t really have to worry about refraining from saying anything.
But I think it’s safe to say that most people act differently in front of their elders than people their own age. For myself, I’m rather garrulous amongst my close friends. We have inside jokes “which we are not afraid to scream down the hallway to another player.” (britt g!) People get pretty pissed I’m sure, but everyone does their own thing anyway, so I don’t really care. To my immediate family, I speak generally the same way (minus the profanities, of course). In front of my mom and brother, I’m 100% myself. Most people think some of the things I say to my mom aren’t in the category of “mother-daughter talk,” but we fight and act like sisters, so they just don’t get it. As most people have said, I’m not going to walk around dropping the f bomb in front of granny or the principal, but I’m not going to avoid saying what I have to say.
EVERYONE is judged by what they write, say and do. Whether it’s a college entrance essay, a business letter, or even an essay for your English teacher, all of its content is graded and judged on its proficiency. It’s just what we do. I see it all the time and I can’t deny that I don’t do it myself sometimes. When I’m listening to someone make a speech, it’s easy to pick out their mistakes. But I usually catch myself and realize, “I could never get up there and do that” and slouch back down in my chair to listen. In a perfect world, everyone would realize that what’s seen on the outside isn’t always all there is to a person. But unfortunately, we are constantly judged by those who careless to get to know more.
"I don’t know why I feel like I need to be a certain way in the presence of AP kids. I don’t feel like I really belong in that click because I am not as competitive or maybe it is just because I see them as judgmental."
-Morgan Cullers
Let's face it, AP kids are really strange. I mean, everyone is weird in their own way, but AP kids are really weird. We have these quirks and oddities that no one else really understands. We're the kids that like homework, that don't mind studying for hours, deep down, we're all nerds. I understand where you're coming from. However, don't ever be intimidated! In my experiences, AP kids are the least judgemental. We all accept each other for who we are, and I honestly think that nobody is going to judge you. Your comments are your own, and if you speak your mind honestly, you'll be fine. Anyway, you earned your way into AP classes, so you obviously belong here. Don't sell yourself short, and say what you believe. It's the best way to learn from yourself and other people.
Abby H:
"where as the same story presented to my dad would end up in an extremely short conversation along with me never getting another ride to the mall."
that's hilarious.your dad sounds like my dad
Hiiilarrry-
“Okay, first of all, I like the idea of writing. I like the idea of being able to share one's thoughts with another, even if one person isn't physically there. I like the idea of writing something that is deep and profound and makes people scratch their heads, contemplating the meaning of it all. I like the idea of capturing beauty and the imagination that writing brings.”
First, I completely agree. Writing is a beautiful thing and I wishhhh I was good at it! And second, you are a great writer! I read your blogs all the time and other things you write. You don’t give yourself enough credit, Hilface!
p.s. anddd you def don't act cool to impress people because you are WAY too cool already! (can you picture my super sarcastic voice?!) hahaha love you <3
It’s a love hate relationship with writing for me. At times, I love doing it. Occasional papers, blogs, random stories, they all get me excited; I can actually write what I want, and not be judged on the minute details. But on the other hand, long essays (Pluto can blow up; I don’t really care if it is a planet. Honestly Mr. Seamen, this whole physics thing is making me rethink life.), chemistry labs, anything with limits, I tend to dislike. I love being to write about how I feel, without having to worry if my ideas are reasonable, or my calculations are correct. I think that I hate writing essays because it is so concrete. I don’t like writing about boring subjects or random ideas from other people. Whenever I am interested in a subject, I love to write about it.
Writing blogs is something I both look forward to and dread. I look forward to it because it is the one time during the week I can write about how I feel; basically just write, about whatever I want. I dread it because they make me think. This year was the first time that an English teacher actually assigned me questions about my life and who I am as a person, requiring me to reflect on my life decisions and who I have become. And sometimes, reflecting may be the hardest part. Knowing that everyone see’s the blog never really changes what I write. This is the only time I actually open up and write about the challenges that I have faced in my life. I feel a sense of comfort knowing that we all have to answer the same question; we all have to open up, and look within ourselves to find the answer. Like Carly said, I rarely ever tell people how I feel. Which at times, has caused some problems…
I definitely don’t change my grammar or spelling for the blogs. I am a grammar freak. I hate when people use the wrong ‘ I and me’ and don’t know how to talk. It did start back in middle school, when Mrs. Brown made us pledge that we would never right ‘a lot’ as one word. I think it is both a sign of respectability and intelligence when someone speaks correctly. Once you open your mouth, people judge you. If you say something really stupid, you will forever be known as ‘the person that said that really stupid comment.’ But if you are known for your brilliant commentary and ideas, nothing could be better. I do think you are judge by the way you write, but not as harshly as the way you talk. Today, people don’t write as much, and they are losing the importance of writing. So if you are an amazing writer, it may often get looked over. But there will always be the one teacher that loves reading, and is amazed by a student’s ability to compose a brain twistingly amazing essay. I don’t really think I mind being judged on how I speak or write. I would rather be judged on that rather than how I dress or my appearance. Because my writing and speech are connected with my intelligence, my wardrobe on the other hand, is not.
I seem to have two different personalities. One is with my friends; the other is with my family. With my friends, I am wild. I curse, often. My sarcasm, faces, and noises seem to scare some away, and draw some in. My wildness is sparked when I get off the bus in the morning (on a good day) and turned off when I get off the bus in the afternoon. When I get home, I am more relaxed. I obviously do not curse, my parents would flip. And I tend to be a bit quieter, although witty statements are still common. With my brother, I tend to open up more. And I think I am most ‘me’ when I am around him. He really is the one person that I feel totally comfortable around, and the one person I can trust with my life. My friends definitely fuel the wild fire, often making school somewhat funny. My parents enforce the importance of focusing, which I am thankful for, allowing my serious side to seep through. I am also a very emotional person. Mainly a practice, where I dump all my troubles on my swim coach, covered in tears, he probably knows more about me than some of my friends. I embrace my emotional side. That long cry is sometimes needed. Last weekend, at a swim meet in Lancaster, let’s just say, the meet wasn’t going as planned. And I just took a good twenty minutes and cried in the hallway, iPod on, and just let it out. And it felt good to finally let go of everything that I was feeling, and let it out.
But as I have said to some people lately, even if you don’t mean to say it, every word that comes out of your mouth has a bit of truth. Which once you think about it, can be frightening.
Writing… Well I don’t hate it but I don’t loooovvvee it either. Writing is something I enjoy when I am writing down my feelings or writing about something I like. But like Sarah and Brittany said I hate timed writings. I think that if timed prompts could talk they would say “Hahaha, in your face!!! You’ll never be able to finish annnnnd get good grade. You’re a failure!! KTF!!!!
So I guess that people can kinda get that I despise time writing. The only reason that I hate is that it’s such a weight that don’t get off even you are done. (If I ever get done.) But time writing is stressful and annoying. I think that they are just a test. People just want to see and be able to conclude how well someone can write or do anything under pressure.
I would rather write something that other people can read without any time limit, for example the Blog. When I write I just write, regardless of what anyone would ever think. Other people reading my Blog doesn’t effect. The Blog is for everyone and for people to express themselves without any limitations (well some.) Having an audience to my writing just makes me excel. It just gets me excited because that means that people will actually get to see or read what I think. Usually it’s the other way around.
However, unlike my writing my language does change to the type of person I am talking to. For someone reason I change to fit the personality of the person. If someone is outgoing I talk to them in an way that they would understand, if someone is shy I would talk more quietly but the point of that is to just get that person talking. I don’t change my personality at all, I just change my tone. My I barely speak in English to parents. When I don’t know a word in Hindi them I have speak in English but that’s rare. My parents want me to speak to them in Hindi or Punjabi because when I came to American from Australia I only talked in English. I started to forget my native language and my parents didn’t like that so I now speak to them in Hindi or Punjabi. But I could never talk to my dad the way I talk to my friends. First it’s a little awkward and my friends are completely different from my dad. And my mom is like best friend, I can tell her anything and she wont go a mom like and go on tirade about something.
I don’t really know why my tone changes as the person changes. I guess it’s just a way to make the other person feel more comfortable. But for me it’s like a reaction now and it’s hard to change.
To Brittany and Sarah C:
I totally agree with you guys on hating timed writings. They are usually boring and mad stressful. I hate'em but i have to live with'em.
Writing…... I have been staring at the computer screen for 20 minutes now hoping that the words would just pop out at me. Since that will never happen I am going to get this bad boy going. I love writing, nooo that’s not it at all, well writing and I have a love hate relationship. I never feel as though I come up with the perfect explanation or the best word to describe what I truly mean. Writing assignments are certainly not pleasurable for me. Don’t get me wrong, my problem with writing occurs when teachers hand out those dreadful topics that I have no interest in. I could write all day about things that are affecting me directly or days when I just need to be deep and thoughtful. There have been days when I go home and look up quotes and I instantly have to write about them. Even better, days when I write and the only person that I would trust to read these are Kelsey Cheek (which is weird for any of you who know me and Kelsey’s relationship haha).
Of course writing for a public audience influences what I say. In a previous blog I said that I would stop caring about what people thought of me and do things for myself but that will never be wholeheartedly true. I was not in too good of a mood that day but anywho I think this question goes back to whether or not you care about what others think of you. Even when I write I care about what the “public” audience thinks of me or my writing. No matter who is reading or listening to what I write I find myself more conscious of what I choose to say and how I say it.
I find myself thinking about how I should never speak differently or act differently around others. I should always be myself and while I catch myself once in a while speaking differently around others I try and stop myself right away. I should never change who I am for others and I think that is one true task in finding yourself. All day I am in CP classes and then 12th period is my only Ap class and I can say that I am far more quiet in my Ap class. I am quiet because I don’t want to sound stupid or make a fool of myself. I guess the lack of confidence that I have in myself would be the reason for me caring about what others think of me and not wanting to look like a clown. When I am around my family especially my brother I say whatever I feel because I know that no one will judge me (except when my brother tells me that I suck at telling stories because he knows how much it annoys me).
Whenever I am going make a suggestion or speak my mind I think of how people will judge me which has a tendency to hold me back. I think that everyone judges me on how I speak or maybe that is just paranoia. It bothers to think how much I care about what I say or how others may perceive it. Sometimes I just wish that I could read minds and figure out what everyone thinks before I make an ass of myself.
Response-
Sara VP….”It’s just what we do. I see it all the time and I can’t deny that I don’t do it myself sometimes.”
I can not stand being judged more than anything and I yet I catch myself occasionally judging others. People judge and I believe that it is one of our worst qualities. Why do we judge? It is because we are envious, materialistic, or do we have to make ourselves feel better than others?
Oh, how shall I been this entry, well, why not with the first question? Writing has been both, as it seems for many, a bane of my existence and gateway to a new, heightened learning. I cannot, absotivily, posolutely, cannot stand timed writing, picture prompts, AP essays (history or bio and maybe the synthesis essay), or anything along those lines. I hate being confined are timed or any of that. I get so blinded by deadlines and rigidity in topic that I seem to lose focus and forget how to write, which, I’m pretty sure, I know how to do. I wind up being so repetitive, that, by then end of these horrid assignments, I sound like a two-year old asking for a new toy every five seconds. It is not a good sight. However, I do really enjoy writing these blogs every week, as you may know, I seem to go through withdraw without them and make up my own :). I love occasional papers. The due date does not block my writing ability and I can write about whatever I want, sweet! So, in a nutshell, I do like to write and enjoy the creativity it allows, unlike calc, where the antiderivative of -sin x dx is always equals cos x, no if, ands, or buts. It is really quite annoying, especially when you don’t know the answer. With writing, however, there really seems to be no wrong or right best or worse answers, it is all right and all best as long as you can back it up. (Sorry about the calc reference. I’m sure it hurts to read it. Truthfully, I don’t really know if what I said is right, but who cares!)
On to the next question…
I really feel that this blog has made me a MORE open person than ever before. I know that whatever I say hear won’t be discouraged, maybe argued against, but never told, “NO! You can’t think that!” That has helped me to slowly shy away from my safe, protective turtle shell (metaphorically, of course) and become, at least in my eyes, a better writer. Ops! I just said “in my eyes”, and according to our latest TS/TD, I’m not supposed to do that…oh, well :) So, I guess it does influence what I say, but in a positive manner. I can express my true feelings without a shadow of ridicule looking over my shoulder. It is really a nice to know.
Does, this blog make me more self-conscious in how I write? Let me think…uh, nope, well maybe a little. I definitely am pickier with the words I chose when writing this blog. I try to make my entries easy to read and understand while still maintaining a level of intelligence; it is not easy. I often find myself constantly reediting my work until I have found the perfect way to say a particular thought. Sometimes, however, that thought is still just as hard, if not harder, to understand as before. But other than that, I write the same way as I would when completing an essay (just a little more colloquial).
As for “grammar, mechanics, diction etc”, I try to constantly check for errors and fix them. I am not a superstar or anything close to it, when it comes to grammar and mechanics. In fact, I would say, I’m barely in the top 50 % of all AP Langers when it comes to those two buddies that are always yoked together. It is where I always struggle and I really don’t know why. So, I’m always looking to improve my skills in those two areas. Like Hilary said about herself, I don’t use many shortcuts when texting. I waste so much time but it helps to keep me from falling into a horrible addiction and helps to prevent me from accidentally putting “2mrrow(??)” in my AP Lang essays. (Hil, loved the shout out to Mullicans. I remember Ms. Brown, tough, but awesome. We learned soooooooo much.)
To start with, a little reminder.
I live in Mullica and my closest neighbor is like a good half-mile away so I don’t really know any of them, expect the creepy stalker girl who seems to have stopped, that could be because I’m never on the bus anymore, but enough of that. Needless to say, I don’t talk to neighbors, so I’m scratching that off the list of people.
So, firstly, my friends. I really don’t talk to them any differently whether they are AP, college prep, or general students. That doesn’t matter to me. Once and a while I won’t use one of Bunje’s SAT vocab words when talking to certain friends but that’s because I don’t want to make them (or me) feel uncomfortable or like I’m trying to make them look dumb. It is really amazing how, when people have things in common, they can overcome many barriers, even learning ones, and just talk. I find that all the time. There have been times when I “dropped” an SAT vocab word or two and immediately thought, “Oh no, they are not going to have a clue what I just said,” but to my amazement and delight, they did.
Now, how I talk to my family is a whole other story. On to my “familia”
In my house, for some unknown, rather annoying, reason, there always seems to be a “battle of the brains”, it is especially obvious with my brother and sister. They, especially Mike (my brother), seem to be obsessed with proving that s/he is ALWAYS (and I mean ALWAYS) right and I am ALWAYS as obtuse as a sack of wet rocks floating downstream heading for a waterfall, a.k.a. really, really, dumb. Usually, I wind up proving them wrong and they exploding saying, “you’re lying” or “you cheated”. Sometimes, I can ignore them and they’ll just go away. But other times, I can’t make them “go away” and the bug me until I explode on them; I can’t stand them sometimes!! Grrrr (Onomatopoeia)! My parents seem to always underestimate how smart I can be and never seem to listen when I try to explain something, but I’m sure I do the same to them; so, I guess we’re even. But the rest of my family, extended that is, I talk to like I would teacher respectfully and using the vocabulary I have attained over the years.
Overall, I try to never dumb things down when I talk. I think it is not fair to jump to conclusions just because someone may not have been the best student or whatever. I won’t try purposefully to bombard them with 12 letter words either, but I will treat them one the same level as me; I fell it is only fair.
Last Question(s)
I most definitely think I am judged on how well I can articulate (fancy) my thoughts through, both, oral and written methods. Well, obviously, all of the states (through tests) and colleges and AP exams (even Calc) judge people in how well the can express themselves. That’s the point of the exams and letters, to adequately categorize people by how “well” they can write. I also feel that most teachers, to some degree, judge us on how we talk and write. Whether or not it is fair, though, is a completely different question. I think that placing students into “above average” “average” “adequate” “not adequate” based on one writing of 25 minutes is a little insane. Last, year I had a broken arm (hmm…Carly) during the testing time and had to talk with my consoler to see how it should be handled and she said that is didn’t matter because it wasn’t the HSPA and this practice test wouldn’t hurt me. I can only imagine if that happened this year. I could be put into remedial English because I have a broken arm and can’t write as well as I could. That seems a bit ridiculous to me. While, I think it is a great way to measure someone’s ability, it can’t be the prime way either. Sometime people have off days and just can’t focus and they are judged as lazy or dumb or a myriad of other things because they don’t feel well or there dog passed away. It just isn’t fair. Okay, rant’s over. I think writing can be a great indicator but it can’t always or solely be relied on to judge somebody. Some of the most intelligent people I know would be considered “not adequate” when it came to writing, and I think that’s a little absurd.
Devon:
I know what you mean when you say you need to be inspired. I hate writing just to write. If I want to write some, like blogs or OP’s, then I’m gung-ho about it and blaze through it like a 2-page picture book. But when there’s not inspiration, I just do it and hope it turns out okay. Thankfully though, for me, as the years have progressed in high school, I find myself more and more interested and intrigued by some of the writing assignments. For example, writing in a particular rhetorical mode. It is different and fun and challenging, all things I enjoy. But when those qualities aren’t present I just toss the assignment aside and wait until the night before to do it.
Writing is just part of normal life. You can’t go through life without thoughts, and thoughts are worthless if they are never recorded in some form. I suppose it is possible to do without, but it would be boring. The grades don’t even come into it for me. School writing occupies a minimum of my time. If I enjoy an assigned topic, I will grace it as well as I can. If the subject is loathsome to me, I will amuse myself by seeing how many times I can insult it without the teacher catching on. Either way, I’m guaranteed a few hours’ amusement. Then I can get back to my real interest; reading a book on Jamaican folk stories or writing a sonnet in the margins of my math notes.
This has always been my view, I suppose, but I’ve never really thought about it. It’s just a shift in gears. We go from 1st period 2nd period without every questioning the transition, though it may take us from ancient Rome to Chemistry. And really we’ve hardly moved at all. It’s hardly unnatural to shift into a different time and place from there, transporting yourself to another world by only shifting a few sheets of notebook paper. Or maybe you just want to record the scene, in all its detail, which would otherwise fade to nothing in your memory.
This is not the most public writing I’ve done, but it certainly has provided the most feedback. I am careful of the character I portray here, but not excessively. I have acquired the ability to cull stupid thoughts before they reach the keyboard, so I’m not worried about what I say. And Word takes care of spelling errors for me. Any other glaring mistakes I can usually catch. It takes some little effort, but no more than I put into my other work.
I’ve learned to cater my topics to my listeners, but my style of speech stays the same no matter who I am talking or writing to. I may be slightly more formal to someone in authority, but not much. I treat everyone as I see them. My family thinks and talks as I do, so I don’t need to change for them. Outside of that, if I would need to change the way I talk I usually clam up. Clearly I’m out of my depth and need to observe so I can interact properly.
But this is the only venue where I’m judged on my eloquence. I wish the world used my writing to measure my worth! But before I open my mouth I am already neatly filed away. Anything I say will be used to support the opinion they’ve already formed.
Maegan R:
" The only complaint I have with writing, actually, is that sometimes (well, always, actually) I have difficulty translating ideas which otherwise make perfect sense in my head onto paper. Whenever I attempt to write about personal philosophy, I can never seem to do myself justice, for it seems as if no matter what I write, there is no way to morph an abstract idea into a tangible form. This is the only time in which I prefer the spoken word to the written, because, in cases like these, the spontaneous nature of conversation is better suited to relaying such ideas. Otherwise, however, I'd rather write about something than talk about it. "
I love this because I feel the same way. Growing up I could never quite get what I wanted across to people unless in words. So with my Mom, when ever i needed to talk to her about something serious or even just to ask her something.. I always wrote persuasive letters or in general just leave a note on the counter. As the years passed, I'm getting better at communicating. I totally feel ya on the writing thing.
I, like many others, like writing on my own terms. I like being able to express how I feel and I like to vent a whole lot. But when I am assigned an essay or a paper, I find the task very tedious. The thing is, when I’m forced to write, I feel a lot of pressure. There is a pressure to write perfectly. Because writing perfectly = Good Grades. And due to this need to write perfectly, I spend numerous amounts of hours on a paper. And in the end, I still find my papers mediocre. I don’t consider myself a very good writer. And it kills me to read an essay and know that it’s not very good. But I think it’s really difficult to become a great writer. Or at least it seems so for me.
Of course when I write to a public audience, my writing is influenced by them. It’s certainly two very different things: writing for yourself in the home of your own comfort and writing for a public audience for all eyes to read. When writing for a public audience, I always keep them in mind and I always try to predict what their reactions will be. And those reactions will usually dictate my writing. After all, I don’t think most people would want a bad reaction to their writing. With this blog, I tend to limit myself from sharing too much, even though I share quite a great deal already, which isn’t usually like me. My grammar and mechanics isnt really affected by my audience if it concerns writing like the blog and occasional paper. But when it involves full-fledged essays, I care. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I am incompetent or stupid because of my grammar mistakes.
Friends. I completely agree that I have all sorts of different friends. I have my close best friends. I have my AP friends. I have my weekend friends. I have the friends of friends. And a few friends that don’t go to Oakcrest as well. And I do find myself speaking differently with all of them. I guess its just comes down to how comfortable I feel around them. And also if I feel superior or inferior to them. Not to say, that I think I am better than anyone because I whole-heartedly don’t think that I am. But if I do find someone intimidating, it may be harder for me to talk to them. For instance, my AP friends I find its really easy to talk to all of them because everyone’s pretty much at the same level. And after all, we’re pretty much all the same, a bunch of nerds :) just kidding. But at the same time, there are certain things I don’t want my “AP friends” to know because I am afraid that they will judge me. Because having different group of friends means that you will be involved in different type of things. So at the end of the day, I feel like a different person to everyone. This is really apparent with my family. How I act towards them is completely different of how I act towards my friends and this has been pointed out to me one too many times from my family. I tend to seclude myself more from them then I would ever from my friends. Partially, because I think I want the acceptance of my peers way more than from my family. Because my family has already accepted me and loved me for who I am.
Another reason why I think I act and talk differently around different people is because for some people, I’ve known them for a really long time like some of my AP friends. So they have a preconceived notion for who I am because we’ve grown up together. And trying to shy away from that notion is really difficult. This usually leads me to talk and act the way they expect me to. I have this one friend that goes to St. Joes and its so easy to tell her about my life and act anyway I want because we never went to school together. We never grew up together. So there is absolutely no judgment at all.
Of course, I feel like I am judged on how well I speak and write. Consider the SATs and college admittance essays. Certainly you are judged a great deal by them. A college will not accept you if you write poorly because they think your writing are a reflection of who you are. And I admit a strong essay with a great message should be able to get you pretty far. But I don’t think that an essay or a paper should be the only factor to judge your character or convey who you truly are.
Britt-
“But, when I am at home and need to just get something off of my mind, I sit at my computer, check my facebook =], open word, and just write for hours and hours. I don’t think that I have ever told anybody, but right now I probably have about 200 pages of writing, which is basically my electronic version of a diary.”
I do the same exact thing. When I need to vent or get my mind off something, I find it so easy to write for hours as well. To me, its very relaxing and a good way to get everything off your chest.
Morgan-
I could seriously relate to every single sentence in your blog. I have friends all over the place too. I have a tendency to think that I am being judged or that the “AP kids” think that I am judging them, which is never the case. And at times, I wished I were even closer to the people with everyone in AP because most of them are so close with one another.
Writing is something that differs from day to day and subject to subject with me. I definitely have to feel that what I am writing about is important in some way or have some personal connection to the topic in order to want to write. You can tell by reading what I write that it’s been one of those days where I really do not want to produce another word let alone look at a whole blank sheet of paper staring back at me that I am expected to fill. On the other hand, if I am inspired by the topic, I will inject my writing with my own enthusiasm in ways that just seem to happen.
With this blog, at first I was kind of petrified by the idea of having everyone able to read about my life, see my writing imperfections, and have the ability to gain entrance into my personal thoughts and opinions. In the past, I’ve handed in essays to my teachers expecting it to be for their eyes only. I’m pretty sure that that’s as far as many of my essays have been reviewed—by one teacher. Occasionally we would do peer editing which was always a waste because we would all pick our friends to switch with. Every critique would be sugar-coated, and hardly any real improvements would be made. This is the first time for a lot, if not all, of us that we are all out in the open with everyone.
I feel like this is a good thing, but a bad thing at the same time. I always find myself backspacing because I don’t feel like what I’ve said is good enough to display for the world. I don’t want to allow myself to fall into mediocrity. This is the good thing. Having this blog helps me to push myself and become more insightful with my responses. I can’t bullcrap anything or not proofread because then I’d look like an idiot who has nothing to offer the intellectual world of blogging. Even worse, the people who would think this about me are my peers who I have to sit next to in class every day. I still sometimes find myself knowing that I am being lazy by not searching for that exact word I want as a way to give more importance to what I am trying to say, but I have definitely gotten better about caring more about the content of my writing. Now the bad thing. Because a lot of the blogs involve personal experiences and things that I have grown from, it is sometimes difficult to choose the best way to put things. I feel like I have to censor my thoughts. I often think about what other people’s responses will be to mine. I have to keep in mind that I am entitled to my own opinions and that I am probably way over-analyzing the effects of what I might say. I guess in a way, that isn’t so bad. I am gaining confidence, but it is still very hard to let everyone know how I feel.
When I am with different people, I don’t really feel like I change what I say too much. The only time I can tell I am acting different or “fake” is when I am talking to adults. But I think that that has more to do with a level of respect than purposefully trying to change myself. It just seems like the right thing to do when I resist the urge to let free my sailor vocabulary when I’m with my parents. When I am with different groups of friends, I still see myself acting the same. I wouldn’t really be talking to people who I don’t expect to accept me for who I am. I know that I am probably constantly being judged either silently or behind my back, but I don’t want to live my life holding back. Sometimes that sailor is exactly the persona I need at the moment to express myself. I know people judge because I do as well. I think it’s human nature to do so. I know I try to not hold things against people, but I often will pick out bad grammar when someone is talking to me and silently cringe. I zone out for a minute, but I know it’s always more important to listen to what they are saying rather than to pick apart every detail for my own assessments. As far as teacher’s go, I hope I’m being judged. It’s their job to correct me and let me know how to improve myself. On a more personal level, no one likes to be judged. Sometimes apparent disapproval from adults can be more earth shattering than from that of a peer. Judgment and writing are two things that are unavoidable, but life goes on, and there is always a new topic to discuss.
As with most people, well at least most of the people in the AP class, I have a love-hate relationship with writing. I like that I get to put my opinion out there without saying a word. It’s perfect for me because if you haven’t already noticed I sometimes have difficulty saying what I really want to say without mumbling a bit. It seems perfectly logical in my head but when I open my mouth it comes out as incoherent gibberish. Either that or the words come out to low for human ears to catch. I dislike nonsense writing. By nonsense writing I mean assignments that ask you to just list the facts or generally any other topic that I really didn’t care about. I find it a waste of my time. Scratch that. I find it an entire waste of my life!!
Hold on. I’m eating Reeses Pieces ….. Ok I’m done now. Well not really but I’ll continue eating dinner while I’m typing.
Anyways of course my audience affects what I say. I mean I don’t want to offend anybody when I write. Most of the time I do put my true paradigms out there but some of my opinions may be too random or confusing for a sane person to comprehend so I keep that information to myself. And I don’t like to give people the dirty details of my life because you don’t need to know that. I do pay attention to grammar and what not but its more of that I don’t want you, Ms. Bunje, to give me an D for Dumb a**. I got a confession though. I do try to write more intelligently then the way I would talk normally.
It’s getting cold. =( . Nooooo! I’m thirsty. Green tea time =).
Back to the blog. Other than the fact that I speak Spanish to my parents and English to everybody else in the world, except if I have to, I will and do speak differently to different “types” of people. To adults, family, strangers, and teachers I find myself watching the little that I say to them. My family is pretty judgmental. In their presence I feel like I’m being persecuted in a trial or something. To everybody else (excluding friends) I get nervous and blush. I get shy sometimes. I can’t help it. Maybe I have trust issues. I don’t know. To my friends I usually say anything that I friggin’ want. I could start singing “Tomorrow” and they would join in. I’m relaxed. The world is mine. It’s great. I love my friends. =)
Yaaay I’m almost done. Hazzah!
Of course I’m judged on how I speak and write. In school, especially English class, they want you to respond in the most intelligent way you can so I do. Isn’t that what report cards are for? They judge you for what you bring to the table. Also, (Spanish speaking) people constantly judge how well I speak Spanish. If I mispronounce one word I’m pretty sure I’m going to be reminded of it for the rest of my life even if I did it as a joke and nobody believes me. Grrrrr! It sucks. Every time they make fun of me I slap them, kick them, and/or yell at them. It’s okay. They’re guys most of the time and in my eyes that justifies me hurting them.
I think I misinterpreted my impression of AP kids. Hearing some of your responses to my blog made me think that I was a little off. Sorry if it sounded mean or anything. I honestly didn’t want to offend anyone, but I feel more relieved that I am not the only one that feels that way. Devon, you really made me feel better by saying “you earned your way into AP classes, so you obviously belong here. Don’t sell yourself short, say what you believe.”
Also Ashley, I really liked reading what you had to say. Since we have never really have talked in person, it was interesting to find out that we had stuff in common! You are always so quiet in Cervi’s class that I never really get the chance to hear your side of things and get to know you.
Linds, it has been good getting to know you better this year and you are definitely are really good writing. I love how you put so much heart into your responses!!!
KTS!!!!- notice how Harleen mentioned KTF in her blog.... the kill the ____ is getting all over the school! gotta love pre calc<3
Jon S-
“Nobody judges me by how well I speak or write. They judge me by my words, my ideas, and my personality. How well I put those onto paper doesn't make anyone judge me as a person.”
Your answers to the blog always seem to amaze me because the depth you go into. I really don’t think I would be able to think of half the stuff you come up with. I really liked this section of your blog because it is so true. I know it is important to be a good writer and speaker, but the heart of the matter is the ideas that are being said. Those thoughts and words define who you are, regardless of how they are presented.
“It did start back in middle school, when Mrs. Brown made us pledge that we would never right ‘a lot’ as one word. I think it is both a sign of respectability and intelligence when someone speaks correctly.”
Molly,
Mrs. Brown has seriously scarred me for life. I will never ever be able to forget the time she called me “self-absorbed” in front of the whole class all because I raised my hand and said the same answer as someone before me did(in like fifth grade, mind you). “Do you even know what that means, Tarah?”.. “No.. (sniffle sniffle).” And she proceeds to give me the definition!!! But anyway, I also consider her the best teacher I had in my younger years of school. There’s no doubt in my mind that she is the reason many of us Mullicans are in this AP lang class. Because of that stupid pledge, I haven’t ever since—in my knowledge—spelled “a lot” wrong, but it has made me pick it out every single time I am looking at another written work. I don’t really know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I’m just saying. Good times, Mrs. Brown kids… :]
“In a perfect world, everyone would realize that what’s seen on the outside isn’t always all there is to a person. But unfortunately, we are constantly judged by those who careless to get to know more.”
Araaa-S,
I’m going to sound like a bad person for a second, but I think it needs to be said.. Whenever I find myself judging anyone, it seems like they are always someone I don’t know too much about. I won’t feel as bad critiquing them if I know that I don’t have anything else to say about them. As illogical as that sounds, I think what you said is true. The people who judge are the people who don’t care to look deeper than something as stupid as grammar (but I still love my share of grammar, Bunje!). It’s easy to puff yourself up because you know the right “there” to use when someone did not, but you should always knock yourself down a notch when you realize you’re being a meany pants for pointing it out to yourself (or others).
To Tamari:
I could relate to a ton of points in your blog. And the song part was funny. I loved how you ended it too.
Because it is not looks, nor intelligence, nor the way they communicate that it important in a person, but their personality.
I couldn't have said it any better. Cyber High Five!
I've always loved writing. I love trying to put words together to perfectly convey my thoughts or feelings. I love the expression and the creativity involved. It offers so much in terms of personal emotional release and comfort. I honestly believe any one can write well if they carry a confidence and show interest in the words they speak and in their descriptions.
In Mullica, I wasn't in the "Advanced Writing Enrichment" with Mrs. Brown, but instead I was in "Creative Enrichment" with Mrs. Rheault. This actually really encouraged and inspired me to be a better writer because I was already labeled as "creative". My major flaw, though, is since I was not included in the writing enrichment class, I soon realized how much my writing lacked in quality than those who were. I won numerous writing awards, contests, and publishes, but I was never competing against those who were naturally talented writers. In middle school, I used to think quantity mixed with decent quality was the best way to write. I would get the highest grades possible on my essays and I was very confident. But then when I entered 7th and 8th grade, I soon realized that I had to change my method of writing because it was absolutely horrendous. Still, I never received "bad" grades on my essays, I never compared to many of my other classmates who I never before had to "compete" with.
Besides the grade aspect of writing, I don't actually consider it a competition. I write in my spare time, I prefer writing over reading usually, and I think writing is the best way to vent to yourself and make your thoughts cohesive. I believe some of my best writing is when I compose the topic, which would ultimately be my thoughts and feelings at that moment or a previous experience. But now I seem to have trouble translating my thoughts to paper when a topic is assigned to me. If I'm uninterested in the assignment, I simply cannot write well, no matter how hard I try. Sure, I can put together a well-composed essay with examples and details, but I don't believe "good writing" is based purely on the content. It's more of the connection the writer has with the topic that makes the readers believe it's important. When it comes down to timed writings, SAT essays, picture prompts, I fail miserably. My biggest problem is that I lack an extensive vocabulary. Whenever I begin writing an essay at home, I bring out my dictionary, thesauruses, and of course use m-w.com and the Microsoft word thesauruses just so I can find the right word I'm looking for. In my head, everything makes perfect sense. It sounds so logical, but when it comes down to it, I simply cannot formulate my ideas with the correct words onto paper. It just doesn't happen.
Writing for a public audience doesn't mean that much to me. I'm always writing properly (with mechanics and grammar, at least). Even when I talk on AIM I usually write very formally. But my writing usually always has a sarcastic tone, so I might be careful of my sarcastic comments that others might take to be offensive, but that's only so I don't have to deal with unneeded tension and arguments. This is very much the same with how I speak. I'm very sarcastic and blunt about things, and I don't often use any euphemistic language. The way I speak, as in the language I use, is the same with any one I talk to. It doesn't matter if it's an "AP friend", my neighbor, my sister, my parents, my teachers, my aunts, or my nurses. I speak properly and my tone in my words doesn't change, just the tone of my voice. I do tend to resort to a very kiddish, girly voice when I'm talking to adults that I should show respect to. But nevertheless, my thoughts and beliefs are never skewed in translation because of this.
I don't personally believe I'm judged by any of my peers on how well I speak or write. I know I don't judge them on that basis. I do have high expectations of myself, so I don't usually resort to using much slang and informal language.
But Sara VP made a really good point:
"EVERYONE is judged by what they write, say and do. Whether it’s a college entrance essay, a business letter, or even an essay for your English teacher, all of its content is graded and judged on its proficiency."
This is very true and I completely hate that. It's bad enough that some people are not blessed with the gift of organizing their thoughts and translating them in a proper and cohesive manner. But to be judged on that very basis by colleges, jobs, teachers, people and businesses that, for some or most of us, ultimately dictate the outcome of our lives in terms of success in our desired occupation, I just don't find that very fair or ethical. Communication is, of course, probably the most important tool in society, but I don't believe it should be praised or degraded. As long as people are able to get their points across in a sensible manner, it shouldn't matter if they say "Ya, I don't think abortion should be legal. It's real bad. The baby is still alive, so you'd be murderin' it. That's not cool." or "I have always been supportive of the life of the unborn. Supporting the legalization of abortion diminishes the value of a woman's personal responsibility." Either way it's said, the point is that the person doesn't support abortion and gives the reasoning of "you'd be murderin' it" and "it diminishes the value of a woman's personal responsibility." Although the second may be more persuasive, that's only because society views articulate language as being much more appealing.
In class-essays bring down my GPA. My handwriting is atrocious, as it always has been. Late in elementary school, a teacher noticed I held the pencil in funny way. Turns out, my grip was the reason my handwriting was illegible. My parents tried relentlessly to correct the problem, they bought special pencils and grips. They made me practice writing, but it was too late. The habit had stuck and my crappy handwriting has been the source of jokes for years. I’ve been unable to find a solution. If I slow down, take my time, and focus formulating each word, the appearance will be neat, but the paper won’t be completed in time; if I write at a normal pace I’ll be able to finish my essay, but noone else will be able to understand it except me.
Last year Costal assigned us a journal. The choice of topic was up to each individual. We could write about whatever we wanted to. The catch, it was timed and errors didn’t matter, so there was no erasing of words. Some classmates groaned, others excitedly began writing. I started out slow, writing about what I wanted to be when I grew up. I know, my subject was a little basic, maybe to elementary, but this was the first time I could remember a teacher throwing the rulebook out on writing. Originally, I thought I would hate this assignment, but I ended up loving it. Once I got into the writing groove, the words poured out of my pen. Time flew by and I was amazed at how much I was enjoying the experience. When time was up, Costal threw in a twist. He told us to trade our journals with a classmate, and they would choose a portion of the journal to read aloud. There were gasps and a couple of red faces. A few held onto their journals. Some, who traded, also traded whispers of, “don’t mention that” or “only read this part.” The readings led to some dramatic moments. Several openly expressed they didn’t want their journal read aloud, others showed signs of embarrassment, a few even teared up. The reaction of my classmates shows how public audiences, friends, and peers affect our writing. Had we been told in advance, I can guarantee the tones, dictions, subjects, etc. would have changed. Personal writing is an emotionally consuming process. If someone rejects our writing, it feels like they are rejecting us. When I write these blogs, I’m putting a little piece of my heart out for all to see. A harsh critique feels like a slap in the face. I want to protect my heart from any harm, so I think very carefully about my writing.
These past two weeks I’ve been an anchor on Falcon TV. The anchors are the ones responsible for writing up the show. When I write stories, my grade depends on how well I’m able to reach my audience and get the information across. The FTV audience is a tricky to write for, it consists of students, teachers, and administrators. Some students can comprehend news at a college level while others barely make the grade. Stories have to be adjusted to accommodate everyone. This affects the diction and syntax. I can’t go on air and say “What a fine morning it is fellow learners” nor can I say, “Yo homes, whatz happenin?” That would be strange. I have to find a neutral tone, with syntax that is understood by all, but still appropriate. When I’m writing for FTV, I also think about how it will look when it’s on air. I want the show to be successful, without any of the anchors or me looking like idiots. After all the ENTIRE school is watching and those types of embarrassing moments are hard to shake off. For example, everyone in the studio was pretty uncomfortable after a lip-sync video, which wasn’t supposed to be played because it had curse words, was aired.
I think my peers judged me by how well I speak. People who don’t even know me think I’m smart. In the first month of school, a girl in my math class saw I got a C on a quiz and said, “I though you was smart?” I’d never had discussed my grades with her. The only way she could have justified her thinking was that she judged me based on my speech. How do I feel about that? Uncomfortable. Since I’m on FTV a lot, I feel people maybe judging me before I get a chance to meet them. I fear they could form an incorrect opinion of me.
Kelly—
“Because having different group of friends means that you will be involved in different type of things. So at the end of the day, I feel like a different person to everyone.”
I thought your line, “at the end of the day I feel like a different person to everyone” was right on the mark. I really agree with and can relate to what you said. I’ve done many different clubs and sports, through those I’ve made many friendships. I have friends outside of AP, and I agree that I act differently with them than the kids in AP. I have friends in choir, student council, soccer, etc… all whom I act differently around. With some friends I’m crazy, weird, and slightly immature. Others I’m more open and honest with. A side of me is revealed to each group, which sometimes makes me question myself and who I really am.
Writing can either be a painful experience or a tool of liberation in my opinion. I find myself leaning toward the painful experience category lately. I’ll start with my most recent assignment; Seamen’s five paragraph essay about whether we believe Pluto is a planet or not… Yeah, I know. A Five paragraph essay, Bunje! First of all, it boggles my mind as to why it’s necessary for us to write such a stupid essay! And second, I had no incentive whatsoever to write the lousy piece, so consequently it came out like crap. In order for writing not to be painful from my perspective, the topic I’m writing about has to be of my interest, which rarely ever happens. Otherwise, writing portions for SATs, AP Exams, and just in class tests add further to the hatred of writing I’ve been feeling lately. I don’t dislike writing all in all, but it’s a shame we’re forced to write about a specific topic that no one is fond of 95% of the time. But when I’m just drifting off (I tend to do that a lot unfortunately), I find myself narrating my own life. I describe everything from the texture of the walls to my own thoughts scurrying throughout my head without even realizing it for several minutes. So I do enjoy writing, but I constantly struggle with applying my thoughts and feelings down on paper. But I guess that’s what makes a good writer; someone who can translate their thoughts onto paper in an eloquent and beautiful manner.
I was a bit nervous once you told us we’d have a blog every week to complete that EVERYONE in AP Lang could see. I’m not very confident in my writing, so I was unenthusiastic about having everyone being able to read my blog. So the first few blogs, I was extremely nervous as to what people would think. I didn’t want everyone thinking my writing was horrid as I thought it was. I was not looking forward to addressing my experiences, my life, and who I have become. Now, however, I see blogging as a relief. There’s no pressure to write a five paragraph essay about Pluto or some other pointless topic. The blog is a way for me, and everyone else, to express themselves. I no longer worry about someone judging me based upon my blogs, even though, alas, someone’s always going to.
In my middle school years, I always strived to have everyone like me. I’d act differently around so many people just to get them to like me. I don’t regret it, however. I learned that it’s impossible to build a stable relationship with someone if you’re pretending to be something you’re not. You have to just accept that fact that some will never want to be your friend, and others always will. That’s where the greatest group of people I’ve ever met comes in; the soccer team. We’re all one big family. We’re always there for one other and we don’t have to pretend to be anything we’re not in front of each other. In front of them, I’m the loud, exuberant, obnoxious girl that’s normally suppressed during the school hours. Nevertheless, I’m generally the same around all of my friends. I don’t feel the need to be someone I’m not when I’m around them. But once I get off the bus at 2:55, I shut off. I’m completely different around my family than I am with my friends. I’m extremely calm and level-headed, and my mother tells me to go gain some emotions. She thinks I have no soul, as she’s reminded me numerous times. I just don’t choose to show them very often, that’s all. Around my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, I’m even more distant. My family and I aren’t very close, even though I sometimes wish we were. I just wouldn’t tell my family things I tell my friends, because it would probably shock them silly, or ground me for a month.
As I stated before, I’m done caring about what others think of my writing. My speech is a whole different story, on the other hand. Public speaking really makes me want to puke from nervousness. Because speaking is the most common form of communication, you are generally judged upon the way you speak or what you say. I feel that most people judge you by the way you speak and what you say evidently. It’s inevitable. I have come to steadily accept this fate, however. Life goes on.
"Writing blogs is something I both look forward to and dread. I look forward to it because it is the one time during the week I can write about how I feel; basically just write, about whatever I want. I dread it because they make me think. This year was the first time that an English teacher actually assigned me questions about my life and who I am as a person, requiring me to reflect on my life decisions and who I have become. And sometimes, reflecting may be the hardest part."
--Molly,
This is exactly what I was trying to explain within my blog. I feel the exact same way about opening up, and hating and loving blogs at the same time. Liked your blog a lot :)
Hahahahaha Morgan, i love how KTB, KTF, etc. is spreading now from pre-calc to AP Lang. (:
Writing to me, is a way of communicating. It is neither the bane of my existence or my reason for life. It is simply an effective way to tell someone what I am thinking, doing, feeling, and so on. If smoke signals happened to be as effective, I would probably be able to light a fire with a magnifying glass, as it is, I can’t. I don’t believe that I am good at writing, as I feel much more effective in my communication through speech than I do with writing. This is because I feel that if you write something down it is much more permanent than if you had simply said it.
My writing is never quite like my speech is, unless it is an aim conversation and even then it is different. This is because when I write I try to not offend anyone with what I say as I write, thus effecting my work when it is placed in any kind of public forum... How I pose a piece is often effected by who will read it, this is my basic use of tone, I think. I notice though that my verbal tone changes much more than my written tone in context to the audience that I have. I’ve explained this before in my blog, but I’ll repeat it as it fits the question.
I have multiple groups of friends, they are not so much boxes as spheres, because some of the spheres overlap while others just touch on one common point. These spheres are categorized by subject, I have some for band, swimming, gym, Italian, lunch, etc generally you are placed into the sphere where I see you most, however the problem with this system is that it allows little room for error, so that when something unexpected happens, seeing someone in an unexpected setting for example, this poor person is violently slammed into a new sphere in my mind. This is a very awkward and painful experience to me, but one that regrettably will happen, so don’t worry it’s not that bad. : )
Anyways, back to the topic, all of these people see a different side of me. In band I am shy, loud(but quiet at the same time, if that works) and a bit mean. Swimming, I’m lazy, tired and complain a lot. Italian, I guess I’m louder than I used to be, but still sort of reserved, and of course board. I suppose I am like this because I am doing what I’ve always done for swimming, and acting how I’m expected to act in band, and for Italian, I just don’t know. The true reason that I act the way I do is because I am living up to the expectations that I feel others have for me. This in itself scares me because I feel like I am giving all of the power to other people, which I guess I am…. Umm I didn’t know I did that. Thanks Bunje for the ‘self-discovery’ blog, it has been ffffuuuunnn…..
Yes I feel that I am judged on how I speak and write, because that is the most of what people see and know of me, and if they are not judging me on that I don’t know what they will judge me on. However, in my judgment of others, I often find it hard to connect the person with the writing. If I disagree with your blog, I find it hard to see that opinion in a person in everyday life. So to me there are two Mat Capones. Two Jon Scheaffers, two Ashley Schieders, two Alice Hus, two of every person, and this makes it hard to judge a person on their blog as opposed to their speech.
So, that is my take on writing, and various other topics.. to end, a quote from Anna Quindlen
“Begin with that most terrifying of all things, a clean slate. Then look, every day, at the choices you are making, and when you ask yourself why you are making them, find this answer: for me, for me. Because they are who and what I am, and mean to be.”
Ali B
Car-Car
You are not actually the loudest person I have ever met, but at that moment you were most definitely the loudest in English... However I have to say I enjoyed your blog and you communicated your point well. I find it interesting that you write out your problems,as I don't. And I simpathize with Devon on the not sharing how you feel thing, as that is a pet peeve of mine.
Ciao all!
See you Monday!
Bunje- thanks for the vocab relief... see you asap :)
Ali
“Around my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, I’m even more distant. My family and I aren’t very close, even though I sometimes wish we were. I just wouldn’t tell my family things I tell my friends, because it would probably shock them silly, or ground me for a month.”
--Hayley!
Those few sentences made me laugh. But I totally agree. I tell my best friends things that I would never in my right mind mention to my parents. But I think that all kids do that to a certain extent. We want our parents to see us as good kids, and if they saw what I say at school or past things that I have done, they would never look at me the same. And when you mentioned aunts and cousins, I thought to tomorrow, how I have a family party, and I am both dreading and excitedly waiting for. I hate being compared to my cousins, but I love spending time with my family. But anyway, I totally agree with what you are saying. And I loved your blog! And you should take media, to cure your public speaking worries. Because the devil (Mr. Lockwood), make us go up in front of the class and talk, about everything.
"I’m extremely calm and level-headed, and my mother tells me to go gain some emotions. She thinks I have no soul, as she’s reminded me numerous times."
---Hayley
Hahaha. Hayley when I saw this, it popped out of your blog, and I couldn't stop laughing. If it means anything, I think that you have a soul.=].
Writing; it is the perfect escape into a world without limits. Whether it’s drawing a random comic, or a full-fledged story, I love it. Unfortunately for me, the ability to write in such a way is severely limited, if not completely impossible, depending on the teacher. The writing expected of an English class, is slightly less…glorious. I’m a decent enough writer in general, and I can easily get a decent grade as long as I actually bother to try. In spite of that, at times, I feel some topics are simply boring or too limited. It seems petty, but as a person plagued by writers block, (case in point, most of this paragraph has been rewritten thrice. And this is a topic I like) writing such a topic simply whittles away my time.
Writing on a public blog has little to no affect on the actual content of my writing. My ideas are my ideas. If I feel it’s important, I will say it. This may very well be due to the fact that I’ve frequented message boards years before this blog. I am very grammar conscious, however, but that differs little from what I post on the aforementioned message boards, and even in my own personal writings. I’ve rewritten whole stories over small mistakes in the plot, as I have rewritten whole paragraphs in a post when I am confident a point can be misunderstood. I am barely a perfectionist, but writing has revealed that traits of such a quirk exist.
Strangely enough, I only seem to have two different speaking tendencies. For those people I know well enough, whether or not they’re friends or not, I am witty, though I tend to mutter half of my comments, allowing only those within a one-seat radius to hear. Anybody in AP Lang named Dan is likely to repeat a comment he finds humorous enough out loud. For my parents, most adults, and people I don’t know well and/or care about the existence of, I tend to be reserved, if not completely silent), only responding when I feel the need. This is mostly an unconscious urge to keep my reputation from dropping off a cliff. It is less detrimental to make a complete fool of one self when already seen as a respectable person.
Write legibly. Ironically, that is one of the pillars of any semi-respectable message board, along with several not so respectable. Those who “typ lyk dis” are shunned, and any argument saying “it’s only the internet” or “it’s easier” are shot down. I do not dare emulate the actual text of the latter two, as my IQ is likely to drop by a few points were I to try. Quite obviously, I believe I am judged on my writing abilities, though rarely beyond whether or not it is coherent. Only a small percent of people are English teachers, writers or even avid readers. Few people care for how the replacement of “Platypus” with “Hirundo spilodera” changes the premise of a statement. The only notable thing is proper grammar and spelling. As long as I remain a proper writer, I should be fine. I have no objections.
And thus, Ivan leaves without slamming his hand on his desk or pointing his finger. For those who do not understand the reference: you all fail at life. That is all.
I’ll just go out and say that Jon probably said it the best. I like to write, but I suppose I’m not the type with the diaries or the journals. I write when I’m forced to, and I usually don’t mind it, as long as the topic isn’t garbage. I’d love to write more on my own, but I’m too lazy, and I need something solid to write on (that’s why I asked Car Car for a notebook for Christmas).
It’s ironic that people commend me from my writing, and I knew not a single word of English when I came here (yes, no, toilet, hot dog being the ones I did know). For one reason or another, I have an easy time structuring and formulating sentences together to form a coherent idea.
One thing I find myself doing is I write these blogs in bursts. Little bit here, some ramen noodles here, little more here, facebook facebook and facebook, and a little bit there. If I’m rolling on an idea and another one comes up, I move down a couple lines, indent, and blaze away. And for some odd reason, I can take this jumbled mess of paragraphs, and they all end up fitting into place, without a single change in words. I love it!
I’d love to think of it as a tool of intellectuality, but I’ll be the first to say that I can’t write intelligent thoughts down too well. It just never sounds good to anyone else but me. It’s not that I can’t write (I like to think I write pretty damn well), but I have no way to convert what I’m thinking onto paper. I don’t know, it’s pretty frustrating. I guess once I cross that hurdle, I can say that I’ll truly be satisfied with my writing abilities.
And I think some people are just born writers. You can teach better syntax and grammar, but the core basis of writing is in how you formulate and string ideas together with as little amount of effort as possible. You can’t be taught how to write. Some people are just born with it. There are people who can beautify a phrase with giant words, witty sentence structures, and other hullabaloo, but there’s absolutely nothing tangible in the piece. It’s like the whole “How to Say Nothing in 500 Words” I suppose. The real writers don’t need to over decorate a chain of words with pretty (sometimes dreadfully ugly) distractions. You can judge a writer by how vividly they can paint a picture, using as little words as possible.
And of course my audience influences how I write. I don’t like to offend people, so I’m usually meek and vague with my writing. And I suppose most of the people in here can comprehend what I’m writing, I write that way. I don’t use big words around most of my friends. Floral vocabulary can be nice, but if your words have a little too much vegetation, it's just annoying. I have no problem with big words. But toss them around ostentatiously and you’re just an ass.
And before I get sidetracked, I like to give a little personal story.
Now few days ago, my friends Ant and Brandon came back from college, and crashed my house for a visit. Well, we ended up going to Denny’s at around 1 in the morning (apparently black people love their pancakes, according to Ant). Both of my friends are black, and as I talked to them, I noticed two clear distinctions in how they talked.
As they talked to me and my brother and called up their friends, they slanged it up, and used… in white man talk… Ebonics. Now, as soon they saw a random white man in a suit at Wawa, they started to talk more formally, and more politely.
Now I thought this was hilarious. Because everyone does it. White people try to sound more black when talking to black people, and vice versa. Asians try to sound white and black as well. We put on different personalities to impress others. Sure, I’m guilty of it, as are all of you.
This comes from a giant fear of being judged by how you talk. Black it up, and you won’t be made fun of. White it out, and they won’t think you're stupid. Its human nature to impress and writing is no different.
And I talk differently to my parents all the time, mainly because they're half deaf. I hate repeating things more than once.
And that's about it.
Dragon Tamer : I loved the whole "battled of the brains" tidbit. Maybe because I used to do that all the time back in 4th and 5th grade. And yes, I think this blog has made me a bit more open, and I look forward to writing it (and reading them as well).
wow. i just wrote my entire blog but when i collapsed the comment to read eva's post it reset the page and i lost everything....yay.
I love writing. Period. (Can I stop now? No?!? Drat.) I write terrible sci-fi when I'm bored. I look forward to descriptives and stories. I enjoy it. In this class, I would have killed someone if I didn't. And it treats me well for it, as every single assignment I enjoy nets me a high grade, which makes my parents happy. I'm don't care, but writing makes them happy, which makes them let me do things, which makes me happy. It's a vicious cycle. But back to the point, it does net me high grades, even though I suck at alliteration. Unless of course it's a persuasive or random timed prompt, but that's a rant for another time.
Do I let an audience affect my writing? Not especially. In my mind, I separate my modes of speech into three parts. Parent style, School style, Friend style and Internet style. In parent style, I use my nicest language, and don't use much of it. As already stated, when they're happy, they're lenient. I try to keep them that way, so no swearing, no shouting, and minimal smartassery. In School style, it becomes slightly louder, much lower pitched, and the sarcasm is cubed. (Sorry for the math. Won't happen again, I promise.) And in friend style, I basically stop editing for the most part. There is much loudness. (I am not a quiet person.) There is excessive smartassery and maximum sarcasm. There is a bit less swearing than one might expect, but not by much. Then there's Internet style. When I'm trolling through the tubes, my language is much like the language I use here, and much like what I use in school. My sentence structure is meticulously chosen, a remnant from my Grammar Nazi days on Gaia. So, except for the amount of swearing and volume, there is virtually no difference, no matter who I speak with.
And as to whether or not we're judged by how well I speak and write, I have to say it's a yes and no. Allow me to explain. On college applications? Yes. On English papers? Yes. When you simply speak? No. Communication is what's important in general forums, not how you do so. It's a sign of skill to write well. It's a sign of intelligence to communicate. I have friends who I've very rarely had a conversation online with them that they've spelled out completely a word with more than two syllables. Same goes for terrible Grammar. It doesn't matter, as long as you're understandable. Then again, if you are being judged by skill, rather than intelligence, grammar and diction are the only thing that matters. And that only happens when you're not being judged for you, but for adherence to a model, which is the exact thing English should never be used for.
Wow. That's a lot more confusing when I read through it. It made sense at the time. Let's revise. You are only judged by how well you write if you are being judged impersonally. On a personal level, it doesn't matter one bit. El Fin.
For the second time I will go through this freaking blog. But this time I’m really pissed off and tired so you'll have to excuse me if it's not up to par with the standards that are expected of this class. Bare minimum sounds pretty appetizing right now.
I see writing as an impractical process. I say this by the “picture paints a thousand words” logic, meaning that it is much more efficient to convey something through speech then it is through writing. Many people have trouble conveying their thoughts through writing simply because it is much more difficult than speaking. But then we take AP classes like this so we can improve the effectiveness of our writing. But to me it seems unreasonable that only once you’ve spent several years perfecting this process can you write with the equivalent force and potency of speech. I appreciate writing for the artistic aspects of it. The beauty that can be portrayed through images crafted though a writer’s flawless imagery or the feelings a poem or song can evoke both resound within me, but the fact that much of our future resides in how well we write essays does not sit well with me.
When I write I try to be as straightforward as possible. There is no prewriting, no rough drafts, no idea webs, no dumping, no plans; it is all straight onto the paper. I feel that when you write you’re taking a piece of yourself and transferring it onto the paper with ink or onto the plastic screen with digitally rendered pixels from a cathode ray tube. To not say what you want and to change is because of political correctness or a fear of controversy is basically to lie to yourself to condemn your thoughts. Of course this is most likely the worst possible ideal to emulate if you intend to be a good writer but I have always done it and it’s turned out alright. But you might want to reconsider when doing job application to, I don’t know, maybe chuck e cheese and oh I don’t know, saying something like, “little kids piss me off”. Yeah those are the times when you need to swallow your pride and realize that you will be better off by writing those lies. And when it comes to the feelings of the people who read what you write the same philosophy applies. You need to just write what you feel and if people disagree that only means you wrote well enough to evoke a response whether it be angry or not.
When I’m talking to my peers I never find myself having to change the way I speak. This is probably the result of the AP and athletic system grouping me with people who share similar ideas and lifestyles. I see this as unfortunate and positive at the same time because you can communicate freely with everyone while not having to worry about the normal incorporation of that week’s vocab list into the conversation, but at the same time you are not exposed to people who have different backgrounds then you. This changes slightly with sports in that you get a wider view of the people around you but the gist of what I’m saying still applies. But my family, that’s another story. We communicated through a complex series of screams yells and arguments which eventually translate into things like “how’s the weather?” and “what do we need from the grocery store?” it’s just the everyday things that everyone has in their family lives plus a little bit of aggression and confrontation.’
But of course outside of family and friends we are judged by how well we write. From our first days in the s.e.e.k program till AP Lang we have been segregated and measured by writing like a pound of meat is measured by a scale. From a governmental point of view of writing is a decent way to gauge or abilities and how much success we will have in the future. Is it fair? No. is it reasonable? Well that depends, but I’d say yes. While SAT’s job apps and college apps are all done by writing there are also countless other factors such as scores in other subjects, athletics and your character. So this really evens the playing field for those who lack in the other departments. In the end the way I see it is that we will be judged on writing no matter what so we might as well just bow our heads and get good at it. At this point I’m running out of any and all creative fuel so we’ll end it with this, “BLOGGING: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.”
In response to Eva:
I like how we both immediately took this issue to its scholastic applications. But besides that your blog is hilarious because it reminds me of all the times I’ve seen you speak complete nonsense to people and they just automatically accept it as truth because they have no idea what was said. It’s got to be ridiculous being in your house with so many people wrapping you into a maze of words and obscure phrases. And again you’ve trumped me in that you can keep yourself from saying things that might be taken as a little abrasive. I have work to do! But altogether great blog.
@ Ivan: True true. We internet trolls need to stick together even when we are the same person. I'd be much less funny without quiet people who's jokes I can steal. But I wonder if there's more to it, that we trolls have fair grammar no matter where we are.
@ Eva: Amen to catering topic and not style to the audience. If you change yourself, all you're doing is making another face, and lying in a way. So true.
Writing has two places in my life. I write for classes like biology, history and economics without an intellectual thought. I’m just spitting out facts in a semi logical manner, hoping I wrote enough to get all my points. The other is English. When I was younger I wrote in English like it was for biology or history, and my writing was terrible. I yearned for structure in a subject without walls, and because of it English was my worst and most hated class of the day for most of my life. It was not until recently, especially this year, that my writing has finally hit puberty. No longer do I write every essay in five paragraph format. No longer do I write the first bad sentence that pops up in my mind. No longer do I hate writing. There is no greater academic pleasure that writing an epic essay. As essay that attests to your knowledge and wit, is passionate and eloquent, and ends in a finale that leaves the reader speechless. The perfect essay in English is more impressive than solving any other problem in any other class. For example, two students can solve the same calculus problem and no one could differentiate who it smarter. But ask those students to write an essay on some controversial subject and the winner would be evident. Wracking my brain for the perfect similie, or contemplating on how to utilize my argument in a stellar conclusion is arduous, but a good way to strut my stuff. While I do care as to the grade I get in English, I appreciate it more for how it helps me express myself in a way normal conversation cannot.
I complain a lot. Particularly about schoolwork, and how unnecessary it is. The blog however, is never the target of my whining. Sure I may not like a question one week, but I never attack the blog itself because I like what it stands for. I like the idea that people have to read what I have to say. I makes the assignment seem more useful and worthwhile. While I don’t stress over the grammar and mechanics of my blogs ( mostly because it would take forever), I do change the way I write when I do a blog. Whether I notice it or not, I write every blog like I’m having a personal with a person. Every Blog I write is in first person, just me and the reader, as compared to a speech where I broaden my language by using less “I” and more “We”.
As for my conversational self, I don’t change the manner in which I speak when I’m with different people. I try to keep myself together as one person who acts the same with everyone. From my best friends to my mom and dad to complete strangers, I speak the same way. Now needless to say the content of the conversations will be different, but my mannerisms, vocabulary, and pronunciations are universal. I think of myself as a realist, and if I were to speak differently to certain people I know I would just be lying to myself and that person. The way I speak gives a preview as to what kind of person I am. I speak in a way that best represents me, so people can see the real Michael Nanfara, and make their judgment on the real me. Not a façade I apply through some fake manner of speaking. When it comes to writing however, I don’t think anyone but my teachers judge me on how well I write. Personal interactions say more than any number of words can in an essay. Hitler didn’t convince Germany to go nuts from his book, he did it through speech.
I’ll admit it, writing is a pain in the butt. It always seems to be the reason why I fail at English. I can’t write that well at all. One of the reasons would probably be my short attention span on the matter. An example would be the synthesis essay that we had to write in class. My thoughts were so jumbled about the subject and, while I knew what side I was going to take, I knew that during the process of writing it, I stared off into space on the subject. I’ve always hated when the teachers gave us specific subjects to write about. Another reason for my failure could be that I’ve kind of accepted that I suck at writing. This could be because I was told that several times by my teachers. In fact, I’m really surprised that I was able to make it to this class! Haha, anyways, writing has always been the bane of my existence…until this year. This is where I want to say thank you, Bunje! I love writing occasional papers and responding to blogs! They’re not timed, there’s not really any pressure and I can write and write without ever having to worry about the grade or anything like that (I’m sure that the blogs are graded but for some reason, I never seem to worry about it, ehehe?). I think the reason why I see writing in such ways really depend on whether or not they are timed, the subject we have to write about and the pressure behind it.
I’m sure that a public audience might also shift my thoughts of whether or not writing is a bane of mine or great for expressing my feelings. Of course knowing that I am writing for a public audience does influence what I say. I was never a big fan of expressing my true feelings on certain subjects. Some things, after all, are better left unsaid. For this reason, I also like occasional papers because, don’t take this as if I’m vain, but I just feel like people are actually listening to me. I mean, sure, you’re all kind of forced to listen to occasional papers, but it’s not too bad, right? Ahem, but yes, knowing that people are reading what I say, I tend to double check certain things so that I don’t (1) offend anyone, (2) say something that I don’t want known, (3) say something that makes me out as a horrible person (which is what we all do, I think, after all who wants to look bad in public’s eye?) and last but not least, (4) make it too boring. My diction is mostly the same with everything. I don’t usually curse though so at those times, I’m usually in a really bad mood, but other than that, nothing new with what I write. When I write, I write what I would say, with all of its beautiful grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Friends read it and do whatever. Antifriends do the same. As long as I have double checked and made sure not to do the above listed, I don’t really care about my grammar, mechanics, and diction.
Now for everyday conversation, different friends call for different speech. This applies to family as well. Let’s see, I think it really depends on what persona I take on as well. For example, I like to use a whole ton of bombast with my Gami friends. This is because when I’m with them, I am the loudmouthed, outgoing, overconfident girl who loves to make a big scene. With my Oak friends, I talk with a softer and more reserved tone because the persona I take on is that of a shy, hardworking, cheerful teenager who loves to make friends. My family gets to see a different side as well. I speak differently based on the group of people I’m with. A better example would be the classic greeting between my Gami and Oak friends:
Gami friends:
“Yo, what’s up, guys? *big grin*”
Oakcrest friends:
“Hihi! *smile*”
Or the response to a challenge:
Gami friends:
“Haha, bring it on! You can’t beat me! XP”
Oakcrest friends:
“Um, I don’t know… I’m really not that good…”
Of course, the above responses change depending on mood and yadda yadda. As for being judged by how well I speak and write, aren’t I judged for my looks? Aren’t I judged by my ethnicity? Aren’t I judged by what I wear? Aren’t I judged by my actions? Yes, I am judged for all that. With this, I also think that I am judged on how well I speak and write. I am judged by all that read this blog, that listen to me. I am judged by everyone, especially those who want to cut me down and make themselves look way better. Frankly, I don’t really care that much about that anymore. I used to, when I wanted to make the best impression for everyone, but people change. If people label me as inferior because of how well I speak and write, then so be it. I talk the way I want to and write the way I want. But this judgment of mine is most likely stemmed from paranoia after meeting some other kids that were way more driven for that letter “A” than anything else in their lives. You think I’m grade-driven? You have not met some of the crazy Gami people. I’m guessing they might be the reason why I think I suck at writing…hm…
So, i just realized how many typos i had...Maybe I should start double-checking my writing. Anyway, thanks, Bearsfan, it is nice to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with this situation.
Dan
I like the "vicious cycle" you described, unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work for me, but hey, if it works for you, go for it. And I never knew you were so into writing. This blog has really opened me up to things I never would have known otherwise.
So I am here to formally apologize to Molly Gondolf.
Moll Moll I'm sorry I didn't mention you when I was talking about our antics in History class. You are always involved in these shenanigans and are often the person who fuels the fire. Your incredible sarcasm and fascinating humor make me laugh every second. MEHHHH SORRY MOLL! dog:)
Oh and yes Ms. Brown enforced the "a lot" two word rule very well. I think the punishment was cutting off our heads and hanging them on her wall of shame....yea that was it.
-Charlie
Alison:
You called me Car-Car :) haha
Devon:
I love you, and I remember when you used to think I didn't like talking to yo uand whatnot but truth be told, I'm just a loner who deals with problems themselves
Meglee:
Yes I cannot picture you sharing thoughts with Cheek haha. Oh and it's time to clean up your side of the room!
Maegan:
"I find that I tend to write and speak in a similar fashion, in that I use some of the same phrases and my word choice is mostly the same."
Yes you deffinetly do use many of the same phrases when you write and speak. Your writing and speech is both hilarious and intelligent, a difficult quality to come by. You always seem to use the best verbs and adjectives that make your writing pop and gives me shivers because it's so good. I'm serious. I love the way you write and so do many other people. I also amire the way you truely speak your mind and always act the same way around any individual no matter what their status is.
Mike N
I enjoyed your entry this week. It was very enlightening and I feel I could learn thing or two from it. I liked the last paragraph about how you don't change speaking habits because it previews who you are, and it is so true. I also thought it was a great analogy that you used at the end. I really thought your blog was one of the best I've read so far. (If that means anything)
To Ivan:
When I was skimming through the blogs, knowing that I have to go to bed soon and have to comment quickly on one, I saw this:
"And thus, Ivan leaves without slamming his hand on his desk or pointing his finger. For those who do not understand the reference: you all fail at life. That is all."
You caught my attention and I proceeded to read the blog. It made me laugh when you talked about how Dan always took your witty comments that you mutter and say it out loud. You should speak up louder! Some of your comments are well thought-out and should be heard!!! Also, I like how you said that "few people care for how the replacement of “Platypus” with “Hirundo spilodera” changes the premise of a statement" because I was thinking to myself, "holy shnipperdoodles! Hirundo spilodera is way cooler than platypus!" which is totally beside the point, but it never stops amazing me how you know a whole ton of stuff! Go Ivan!
Haha writing. Writing and I have developed a love-hate relationship over the years. At the beginning of time, or in other words when I was born, someone must have decided that many things will cause me long hours of agita. And writing just so happened to be one of those things. Its never stress over the topic, or stress over finding the best way to construct cogent sentences and arguments, it was just the tedious fact of doing it that stresses me out. Personally, I love writing thoughts down though considering they open up my intellectual gateway that is rarely open during the day. But when I am forced to write something like a paper I cringe at the idea and begin to feel my abhvikance (remember that from the last blog) grow.
The instance that dictates whether I am in the loving-to-write mood or the damning-writing-into-oblivion mood is usually based upon the amount of sleep I got the night before. If the night before I got a perfect six hours of sleep then I'm ready to let the intelligence flow from my fingertips. On the other hand if I had a rough night where sleep was just a figment of my imagination then writing becomes the bane of my existence. The sleep deprivation conditions that cause my anger at writing, are actually derived form the fact that when I write it is literally my stream of consciousness typed or written onto a piece of paper. On the days when I'm at the point of utter exhaustion my stream of consciousness tends to be stemmed so my writing is just barely intelligent jargon. When I'm on point though, my writings allow my truly intellectual thoughts to burgeon onto the paper uninhibited. These are the moments I love about writing because when I'm intellectually immersed in a subject I feel as if I'm pouring a part of myself into the paper. In his song Till I Collapse, Eminem explains this type of mental phenomena happens to him when he begins to rap. Its just as if your immersion into a composition becomes the one thing you want to do effectively at that point, so you pour yourself into it to give it life. This is the feeling that overcomes me during the writing sessions I have when I'm not deprived of my precious sleep.
The funny thing about the fact that the blog is public is that whenever I write these blogs I forget others can read it. I write these things as if its just an informal conversation with you, Bunje. On certain occasions though I do remember that my classmates can read these and I try to infuse it with more cogent thoughts. This way if anyone ever decides to stay awake long enough to read my posts they see it and can think "Wow, he is a genius." In most cases though I tend to write these blogs barely caring if my classmates read this. With this in mind, my grammar, mechanics, and diction don't change from what they would be in a normal essay.
Speaking of party friends and wonderful details you should of seen what happened at this one party... I'm just kidding. On a more serious note I have noticed that the way I speak is much different from the way I write, and that speech becomes even more different depending on the people I'm around. In previous years of my life I would dramatically alter the way I talk around different ethnicities,using slang more often and cursing more than I would normally, but recently my endeavors with the football team have taught me to talk to all people the same way. The team has taught me that it is okay to talk to people the same way, considering if they can't understand it they are clearly retarded. Not retarded because they cannot understand the occasional big words, but mentally challenged because my normal speech isn't proliferated with difficult words. I have found that recently my speech itself has begun to move from articulate word choice to the creation of awkward words that result from the combination of random suffixes with normal words. Personally, I believe this comes from the lack of sleep that my mind is constantly undergoing, which causes my thinking process to be quite lethargic, and thus forcing normal words to be replaced with fabricated ones.
Sadly, I hope that I'm not judged by the way I speak, considering I say a lot of stupid things. Alas, it probably is though, which would explain why many people don't realize I'm as smart as I am. Everyone initial judges the people they meet by their speech. It's human nature. If you meet a person and you can barely understand what they are saying because their speech is centered mainly around slang, your immediate idea would be this person isn't well educated. It's a sad concept, but it's true. Personally, I'm not mad about this but it does make me feel worse about myself. The main problem with my speech is that it just flows off my tongue due to my slow brain activity. The words come out my mouth faster than I think of them, so it ultimately ends up sounding stupid since I have no opportunity to revise what I am saying. Perhaps this is a positive attribute though, because it causes me to dupe the listeners into believing I am more stupid than I really am. By doing this the listener is then surprised more than they would be whenever I do something intellectual, which tends to happen every now and again.
In response to Sarah
Just because your in a certain class doesn't mean you particularly like that subject. I hate economics, but I took macroeconomics. Actually, the only reason I take all these classes is because I want to learn; not because I like them. Come to think of it I hate most of the classes I take. So a person in AP Lang doesn't have to like writing, because sixty percent of the time I dislike writing papers. Just thought you should know that :)
To Matt C
I agree with you on the practicality of writing. Its much more persuasive to convey your thoughts through speech. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but they both get trumped by a person who wont shut up. And you probably are the most straightforward writer I know, and you do it well. I think your blogs are always the most comprehensive, logical and insightful.
Whew. A lot of questions on this blog. Anyway, I personally enjoy writing creatively. I used to write competitively. However, I just don't have enough time for this any more. I could only do it in the summer, anyway. Still, it was fun. Everyone contributes a piece of a story, and the worst writers had their characters killed off. Good times. I'm not so much for anything forced on me.
Anyway, it's kind of obvious that knowing I have a public audience influences my writing. I'll generally try to write more humorously to impress them. I'll at least try to write better. My style or grammar doesn't change much, though. I've always written with the best grammar possible, since I was about ten.
Anyway, on to my friend groups. Now, you know/are my AP friends, but wait until you hear about my party friends. Let me tell you, there is something very wrong with these people-
Oh.
Right.
Well, yes, I guess I do speak differently around different groups of friends. I have people I know who would swear I'm the quietest person they've ever met. (quit your snickering, it's true.) I also have more polite friends (usually girls) who I'm generally nice and courteous around. Then there are people who I know who are not quite so much friends as acquaintances who I am very distinctly a 16 year old male around.
And after spending some time around the friends I've had for the longest, I begin to swear like a drunken sailor.
Of course, I have to take a second to wonder if this is for appearances or whether they actually affect my thinking. After having played Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (AND BEING NO MORE VIOLENT A PERSON FOR IT) for a few hours, I find my inner monologue has taken a rather odd turn. Perhaps in an attempt to get more in-tune with the character, my inner monologue took on a sort of gangsta sound. I started using slang I barely even knew, and was generally afraid to speak for a few minutes for fear that I would swear at whoever happened to be around. It wouldn't be too hard to imagine this happening with other people.
And yes, I do think I'm judged on the way I speak and write. Why do I think this? Because I judge people on the way they speak and write. If I hear someone speaking in a southern drawl, I'll probably assume they're conservative. If I'm playing an online game, I'll be more likely to give a handout to someone who says “Excuse me, do you have X amount of currency spare? I've almost got enough for item X.” who says “lol cn I hav gold i need 4 buyin stuf”. That's why I type well, and I talk strangely. My typing gives off a mature feel, and my speaking wards off people I don't want to talk to.
To Alison: I definitely agree that it seems like there are two of everybody, the person who writes and the person who speaks. Hell, I feel like there are two of me.
However, I sort of disagree with you on judging someone by their speech rather than their writing. For me, writing is where I am truest, where I'm most likely to show my actual thoughts. When I speak, I cannot always speak my mind. The best I can do is attempt to always tell the truth (no matter how bad it hurts. This has been 3-dog, and you're listening to galaxy news radio. And now, some music.)
♫I don't want to set the world on fi~re...♫
"The perfect essay in English is more impressive than solving any other problem in any other class. For example, two students can solve the same calculus problem and no one could differentiate who it smarter. But ask those students to write an essay on some controversial subject and the winner would be evident."
---Mike N.
Hmm, a controversial topic like marijuana? Hmm...
Ha ha. I totally agree with what you are saying. Writing and English is a completely different form of intelligence because it forces individual thought. Math (ewwwwwwwwww) is robotic. Here's a problem. Here are steps to solve the problem. Here's the answer. Whoopdie stinkin do. I don't know. That idea just creeps me out.
Well, on the first question, im gonna have to say that writing is like a see-saw. To tell you the truth, im not the biggest fan of writting. Its something thats there, and I just do it. I don't keep journals, logs, or write short stories to show off to people. Writing is like an assignment to me. What tips the see-saw, is the topic. If the topic is something I find interesting, even if I can't say much about it, I will like it. If a topic is dull, I probably won't care much for it. This has been pretty vague right now if you are reading it, but this is straight out of my head (and im not too comprehensive of it either).
Writing to the public, really doesnt place to much influence on what i say, at least not anymore. There used to be a time when I was careful with what I say to people. I tried too hard to be nice and not get on anyone's badside. Basically, I tried to be friends with everyone. Saying this now, I realize what a fucking retard I was. Because, you can't be friends with everybody, and you can't say what everyone will be accepting off. So after I figured that out, I decided to just speak what is on my mind. Sometimes I would think a little bit before I spoke, but most of the time, I just say it, and then say something else, and then something else.....and somewhere in between that I would insert a swear word (Thats the American way). When it comes to things like grammar and all that stuff, I am actually more relaxed writing to friends then to teachers or someone who would be really judgemental off it. You see, I know my friends too well. If they were to point out my grammar mistakes or something like that, they are just probably doing it to tease me. When a teacher does it, its more like "you are fucking wrong, go fix it now, bouy" There is a big difference between those too.
Firstly, I would just like to point out that the term "CP friends" is not on the blog. Im just saying that because a good deal of my friends and ppl that I hang out with, don't take AP classes. I mean, they might take honors, but for the most part its CP. And they don't really fall into the category of athletes or party friends, but w/e, Im just nit-picking 'cause I've got the time to waste. But to answer the question, I do speak to different groups of people in different ways. Basically, it all depends on how much tension is between me and the person Im speaking to. If there is very little tension (like a best friend ) I will say whatever, being sure of course not to take it a step too far. I will curse, I will use slang, i will act outside of my ethnic boundaries, I will pretty much be very different. If tension is medium to high (aquintance or parent) I take the more emo/serious route. My voice will get deep, Ill rarely look the person in the eye, and I answer with short answers; Usually indicating that I don't really want to talk. But yeah, the main reason for this is because people judge you, ALL THE TIME. Like, you don't notice it, and quite literally its downright impossible to notice at first glance, but people always hear what you say. Even if they are not listening, if they hear one word, just one word, they can base everything they think about you, on just that one word. For the most part, that is why we have all of these different ways to talk to people, so that we can access who we are conversing with, and pick the words that are going to bring out the image that we want to let shine.
To Danny: Yeah, I know what you mean when you talk about the different types that you implement. I mean, damn, in gym, you are just soo different then from say calculus. I know if you look deep into Rasheed's head, you will find that he probably wants to punch you everytiem you scream "BALL" and wonders if ducktape is enough to keep you quiet when you scream "EXTREMEEEE" But w/e, it makes the period more fun. Also, I gotta disagree with you on your blog. You say that you have all of these different types of "Dannies" for different occasions, but at the end you say that we are not judged by what we say. But in that case, would that not mean that having different "Dannies" or "Sergeis" be kind of pointless? Why not just have one Danny and one Sergei for all occasions. Plz respond =)
“I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find”
Blank pages suck.
I can’t really explain writing. Sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes I hate it and sometimes I adore it. I have come to the conclusion that it is based on two things: my mood and the topic.
My mood often determines the amount of effort I put towards writing. Let’s face it, no one enjoys writing after they had lost a prized possession, had got beaten up, and then had their lollipop stolen from their very own lips. Well actually, you could enjoy writing – that is, if it was an angry letter to the butt-face brain that did this to you. However, I am digressing. When I am in a love-sick mood, I write more dramatically and emotionally. When I am in a bored mood, I write very descriptively and illustratively so that I can make others be less bored. Then, when I am just plain blissful, I write happily and optimistically. (Guess which this is! =P)
Now, the topic also has a big influence on my writing. Certain things fail to grab my attention. They usually include textbooks with very small font, things I’ve read countless times before, war, sports, and movies. These topics just don’t spark my interest. Now if we are talking nature or love or Christmas, then I would definitely hop on that topic like a bunny on a big, juicy carrot.
“I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way”
GPA’s sometimes affects my writing. For classes other than yours usually. In those classes, I just stick to a format because they aren’t looking for anything fancy smancy. All my priority is, is to get a good grade. (And we all know why Megan needs good grades! =]) Your class is different because first, its English, they deserve the good stuff. All my imagination in writing comes out here. Second, because the type of writing we do it different. We get to express ourselves and our on style of writing. I love how I mostly feel like I have no boundaries. I could write the most cruel or outrageous thing, and not be criticized. I like that. GPA doesn’t really cross my mind here.
Who reads my blog probably affects my writing to some degree. I think the majority of writers know exactly what note they want to hit in a reader’s mind. Again, this all depends on my mood. (My mom said I let my emotions control my decisions to much. I guess this is what she means…) If I am feeling a certain mood very strongly, I tend to write in that mood. If not however, I think I do write and say things differently than I would to my sister or employee or maybe my mother. Well, I’m conscious about my grammar all the time. The only exception is aim. So, that doesn’t really change.
I won’t lie; I definitely act differently in front of certain people sometimes. How I talk to my “AP” friends are not exactly how I would talk to my choir friends, nor my tennis team, nor my neighborhood buddies. I like them in different ways, for different reasons. For example, my neighborhood friends are like my family. I have known them for my entire lives, and feel totally comfortable and relaxed with them. (Mike!) It’s a nice chill feeling, especially on the bus ride home, when I can just lay back and relax, and listen to music without caring about needing to start conversations. My tennis team, however, is totally different. I always start conversations, and always try to get everyone in an upbeat mood, ready to play. We have so many good times, laughing, singing on the bus rides, and just goofing off. The team is another family, one I can always turn to for advice on life, love, and closure. Uhh…my family members? Yeah, I won’t even go there, it’s a whole other story. =] Why do I do this? I’m not sure. I guess I just want to make everyone happy and make sure their day is better by trying to do weird things to make them smile. But then, sometimes I think I do it just to blend in. I really don’t know though. Probably both.
I don’t believe people judge you on how you write. That doesn’t really define you. A person can be truly intelligent, and be a horrific writer. Who cares? It just means that they cannot translate their thoughts as well as others. It doesn’t mean they are any less grand. How I speak…I think so. I mean, whatever comes out of my mouth shows my personality doesn’t it? So the things I say probably define me as certain things to my friends and family. I don’t really mind it, or if I do, I don’t really notice it anymore. I’ve come to the time in my life where I say about 98% of the things I am thinking at any given moment. Sometimes, I realize after that it’s not a great thing to say, and then I feel bad. Oh wellzers, you’ll get over it. =]
“Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten”
-Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield
@ Brendan: I completely agree with you on the comparison. Anyone who uses A) polite language, and B)real language is automatically assumed to be both smarter and more responsible.
Then again, by extension, we're judged on all interaction, so it's a slippery slope to respect. *shudder shudder*
Hmmm. Writing about writing. Writing has always been my strong point in school, leading to a countless number of papers over the years, yet I can not think of one single instance where i wrote just to write. I've never written simple to put my emotions down on paper, never written to sort out the thoughts in my head, never actually written anything just for the heck of it, for the joy of seeing my thoughts and ideas turn into something tangible. I've only ever written because I was told to write. I don't dislike writing; I think it's the best way for someone to really express themselves. I just never want to write in my free time, because it just would feel like more schoolwork to me, which I despise about as much as John Madden despises dieting. Nearly everything I have written as a school assignment seems to me an unwelcome chore, one that I put off until throwing something together at the last possible minute. Because of this, I try to avoid writing as much as possible, because even if it's just for fun, it would still feel like an assignment to me. Writing has never been an instrument I've used to search inside myself, to try to discover who i really am, until this year, and, in particular, this blog. Previous English classes have simply asked me to read something, analyze it, and basically summarize some key themes. As long as I knew what my teacher wanted to see, I had an A. I didn't really care too much about what I was saying.
Which brings me to the blog. The blog has really opened up a whole new world of writing for me, one that, until recently, I wasn't too aware of. Each time I respond to a blog, I end up thinking about questions I had never really pondered before, all while learning more and more about myself and classmates. After reading blog posts by my peers that I think are absolutely phenomenal, I definitely strive a little harder to fit in that perfect word, phrase, or sentence. I don't think I've changed my style of writing based on others' opinions, but there is no doubt that I put pressure on myself to make my responses the best I can. As for other forms of public writing, I think writers who have the ability to maintain their own unique style are more appealing than those whose style is dictated on their audience. Hearing or reading original ideas from a different perspective than the one you are used to can give you a deeper appreciation for such writing. I try to keep my own voice, but it is often quite tempting to alter that voice to a tune that appeals to the masses rather than to the individual.
In casual, everyday speech, I rarely find myself speaking differently to my different groups of friends. I am always sarcastic, and I usually don't say too much unless I have something at least somewhat meaningful to say. The only real difference is my level of comfort in relation to certain groups. At times I tend to be more formal with people who I don't know too well, a bit hesitant to interject with a joke or speak my mid, rather just listening in than being an active participant in the conversation. Among friends I am comfortable with, I'll speak my mind about any subject and not let up until I am positive I have made my point. These are usually my friends from sports teams, kids that I get to spend a lot of time with and with whom I do not think twice about tossing my opinion into the fray. With all of these groups, the way I speak is completely dissimilar to how I write. When I'm writing, my mind seems to just work differently, like there is a switch that flicks on when I take a seat in front of the computer screen and then bcak off right when I stand up. In everyday speech, I don't really have the time to formulate my own thoughts. When I think on the spot, my ideas get jumbled and thrown around and I end up spouting out some nonsensical jargon.
I don't think my writing or speaking is judged any more or less than any other part of my personality. Everyone has their initial judgment of a person, whether it be their writing style, their race, their religion, the people they associate with, their looks, etc. Writing is simply another aspect of our lives that contributes to the people we are. It is a vehicle used to express emotions, to voice opinions, and, yes, to get a grade.
Matt-
When I write I try to be as straightforward as possible. There is no prewriting, no rough drafts, no idea webs, no dumping, no plans; it is all straight onto the paper. I feel that when you write you’re taking a piece of yourself and transferring it onto the paper with ink or onto the plastic screen with digitally rendered pixels from a cathode ray tube.
I know what you mean. I can’t do prewriting and pre-whatever’s at all. I can only sit at a desk or computer, and just start writing. It may take longer, but that’s only because I’m trying to make it flawless. Plus, I don’t even think pre-whatever’s help at all. They don’t do anything except waste my time.
(lol, cathode ray tube.)
Hayley-
Otherwise, writing portions for SATs, AP Exams, and just in class tests add further to the hatred of writing I’ve been feeling lately.
Can you tell me why the word SAT made me re-scroll up, and read your blog earnest interest? hahaha. OHHHH boy. They got me brainwashed.
Kelly - I agree with you in that it depends on your level of comfort to determine how you speak to someone. Personally, I try to act the same to everyone I meet, but that can sometimes lead to feeling out of the loop. It's at these times when I usually don't say much at all. This leads me to usually just hanging out with people I've known for a long time and am comfortable around.
Growing up through all complicated, emotional situations, writing was my savior. It helped me those long nights where I just repeatedly played back my actions and words in my head that didn't suit right. In school, I'm never motivated to write anymore. I used to love writing. I once was so passionate about it and always entered into those little contests for creative writing, but I guess my interests altered. Writing is an instrument, but it's not aiding my grades in anyway. I don't even think it should be about grades because writing helps you with communication. Especially this year, I've never been so analytical of writing. I love the reading logs for that reason, since you literally have to pick a part the text and make inferences with every word usage. Due to these lessons in your class, I can relate more to authors and even new people who i meet by picking up tone of voice and their diction. It's interesting how you can pick up so much on a person just by how they speak. I guess this brings me to saying in school, writing is a chore. In life, writing is valued. It's difficult to communicate with others on subjects you clearly have no interest on. I try not to read blogs before I write my own. I just treat the blog as another writing assignment and I don't fret about who reads it. Once, I had to write a speech for the ceremoney of the new addition to the Davies School. I was recomended out of all the students in my class. This brought smiles to my face, but I had to be very in touch with what I said and how I said it. Politicians, teachers, board administration, and family members all attended. In the beginning of this year, I was very conscious with what I said because really I try to keep my life as personal as I can. Then I realized, sometimes it's better to just let go and just write like before when i was younger.
Sorrry Bunje for commenting exactly at 12. Hope its not considered late. I just got home from work and I had it written earlier before work but I thought I was going to get home earlier than what I did. Darn Mall hours and long clean ups at Johnny Rockets. Hope you feel swell.
"If I change a sentence because its a run on or fragment or the verb tense is wrong, I feel like I’m altogether changing what I wanted to say. Also I’m lazy and don’t like revisions, but I’ll have to work on that."
The rules of grammar have been implemented not only to prdouce coherent and consistent language, but also to produce luxuriant prose, and rhythmic verse. To forgo these rules would be to deny a chance at improvement.
I like to think of grammar not as a set of limitations, but as the capacitating essence of my writing. Afterall, all your organs mean nothing when you have no bones to hold them all in place.
In short, try using grammar to your advantage. When you notice a grammatical error in your writing, see if there isn't a way to fix it without changing your meaning. You'll often find it enhances your writing as a whole. Personally, my entire notion of fluidity in writing derives from various grammar-based instincts. Run-on sentences and fragments always throw off the beat. Ending a sentence with a preposition always hits off-tempo. Grammar irons out all the bumps.
"Goin' on and on to the rhythmic variation
Wakin' in the morning I still represent the nation
When I speak of nation please don't make the deviation
Rebels of the party who create the jump sensation
Mind is a pit of different information "
Tip and Phife for LIFE <3
(at least, from 9 years old and on)
i really don't want KTB to spread haha
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