Last week's blog question had you ruminating over why any of us care what others think about us. The question, it seemed, had one, unanimous rejoinder: for whatever reason, we just DO.
Your posts, in all of their hearbreaking honesty, brought me back to what life was like in high school; the beautiful, bizarre and at times bitter exsistence that for better or worse, will leave its mark on each one of you. Long after the doors behind you have closed, the teachers have been forgotten, and the caps and gowns have been stored, the scar of these four years will be yours to keep, forever. The real question is--how will you display that scar? Prominently--in all its disctinction and beauty? Or will you cover it up, heap layer upon layer of protective outer-coating over it so as to mask any trace of what you gained?
***Actually, that's not the REAL question, but it is something I would like you to be mindful of during the remainder of our time together. We can talk more about it another time. Now, onto this week's brain bleeder...
Over the summer, I read Robert Greene's exceptionally well-punctuated blog: "Power, Seduction and War." There are things about it I dislike, things I love and things that have me thinking for days on end. Incidentally, he wrote The 48 Laws of Power, which, Meg Reese, I think you would LOVE and also The Art of Seduction, which, is also quite interesting.
Anyway, I was reading an older post called "In Praise of the Bad Guy" and it was one of the ones that really had me musing for quite some time.
The theme of this post is that we are drawn to what we perceive is the dark side of human nature, and presumably, the dark side of ourselves. He cites certain examples of classic "villains" both real and fictional and in those we are not talking about ritualistic serial killers or people who harm animals or children per se. From virtually every standpoint, that type of "dark side" is reviled, as of course it should be.
However, there exists, in all of us, an unmistakable desire to do "the wrong" thing (his assertion), and the more we call those people who act on that desire out on it, the stronger the pull is either to the person or to the act. In his exact words: "The strength of their denunciation equals the strength of their attraction."
He goes on to say, in what may be the most controversial opinion in the entire piece, that we are drawn to certain villainous characters such as the pimp, the seducer, the hustler etc because they are more GENUINE than we are. They recognize their dark side and rather than try to hide it or deny it completely, they act on it.
We will be reading this entire piece in class I think, because I want you to get the full context of what he is saying and I am really curious to hear what you all think. For now though, taken only what I've said here into consideration, do you agree with Greene or disagree? Also to be considered of course is: Do you have a dark side?
Naturally, you must support what you are saying with thoughtful and relevant examples.(450 words/65pts)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
140 comments:
I can feel myself drowning in the depth already....
-- Ali B
People have always said that you will forget about high school, and its not that important, and there are more important things. But I think that those people are just bitter becuase they had a bad experience in high school. These four years can be the best of your life with friends, sports teams, championships, prom, anything! It what you make it and how muc you learn as an adolescent that makes the journey of high school significant to your life. I love high school and all the great events and fun times I have had here. I can only hope it gets better. And when I do leave Oakcrest next year, I will not dwell on the times here. They will be remembered but a new journey to start my own life and further my education will continue.
Oh and Bruce was awesome Saturday!!!!!<3
-Carlisle
Do you really want to know?? Becuase, as with every other entry it will be long, boring, and completely truthful so make sure you are prepared to know the real Matty W before he reveals his inner self. Haha. it is quite fun talking in the third person. but seriously do you want to now about all of my evil plans and doings? MAke sure the answer is yes before i go any furthur.
Oh darn, I missed the first post spot.
A dark side in everyone? Why, of course! Without the dark side of everything, life would be so boring. I wholeheartedly agree with Mr. Greene as well. To disagree would be lying to our very nature. The seducer, the hustler, the pimp. The killer, the psycho, the horrible tyrant. I think that, without these characters that do as they have wanted to, it’d just be a world of goody two shoes and kind people who want to hurt someone, but can’t. In fact, think about it. Many girls my age LOVE the bad guy. They seem to think of them as “hot” and “sexy”. While I myself love the bad guys, I suppose my reason can be looked at as different. The bad guys are always the ones who seem to be more knowledgeable and realistic. One of my favorite examples would be the great Millennium Earl from one of my all-time favorite manga. He’s always looked at as a villain, most likely because he is an enemy to mankind. He wishes to kill off the “filthy mankind” and just leave the world as it is. He understands the many faults of mankind and the sad truth that we are truly vain creatures who want everything but would give nothing.
Oh, but that’s not what I like about him, oh no.
He uses the emotion that, to most of us, is the purest of all—love—and makes his weapons from it.
This is how it comes down. Someone dear has died and you are utterly destroyed. You, in turn, sulk about and cursing God for what he’s done, taking the one you loved away. The Millennium Earl would then make his entrance, with that huge grin on his face and a polite gesture, and tell you about how he can bring your dear one back and place their soul into a metal-like skeleton. All you have to do is call them back from your “despicable” God. When you do—oh how I love this part—he commands the soul attached to the mechanical body to kill you and wear your skin. All of this wouldn’t have happened if you had just let it go, but instead, he gives an accurate meaning to love. Love is when you selfishly refuse to let go of someone and would throw away everything for them. This is a great weapon for him as many people “love” others and end up being killed off to become his akuma. Love isn’t something pretty and romantic; it is something that revolves around our own selfishness.
*Ahem* but back to the question. Yes, Greene’s view that we all have the unmistakable desire to do wrong things is undeniable correct. It is in our nature to hurt others to make sure that we will survive ourselves—survival of the fittest. Since we have to mask ourselves everyday, when we see others do wrong things, sure we criticize them first, but every time we find ourselves drawn to them. It’s like scary stories. I hate scary stories, but I read them anyway. We are attracted to people who say they do what they want and actually DO it because we are not like that ourselves. Why else would the media put so much attention on crime and such? It’s because the people want to hear about it, they want to know! That’s how wicked we all are! *laughs*
Yes, now to finish answering the questions. I do have a dark side. Doesn’t everyone? I might be view by some of you as sick and a freak, but deep inside, I know I like hurting people. I love finding out how they tick and just ripping them apart *laughs yet again* but of course, I’m not that way often. It’s just when I’m in the mood, I just feel like inflicting pain and assuring myself that I am still strong. As said by Chris McCandless referring to the short story “Bear Meat” by Primo Levi, “I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong." Isn’t that true? Isn’t that why we love grotesque movies? The strongest wins. I, however, finally ended up changing because hurting others is wrong. It is unacceptable. I ended up just throwing it all away and being nicer, but still. There are those times where I just kinda want to act on instinct and take down people I really don’t like. However, we’ve all been nurtured to be nice. It’s a nature versus nurture discussion about the dark side and stuff. I don’t want to get any further, but yes, I agree with Mr. Greene and I do have a dark side.
The End.
P.S. I’m sorry for being all like…mean-ish? O.o; I don’t really know why I ended up writing all this in such a…mean-ish way… -_-‘ I apologize. Please don’t hate on me.
P.S.S. Are we supposed to answer the high school question too? Ms. Bunje just kinda said that it was not the real question so I didn’t answer it…
The End… ver. 2.0
I've been listening to Biggie's album Ready To Die all day long. I just keep replaying it over and over. Somehow, this blog question seems to fit that song's sort of vibe.
”When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell
Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell”
Does Jon Scheaffer have a dark side? Do rainbows have more than one color? Do unicorns have horns? Of course they don't. That would be preposterous. Of course, my lies are diaphanous. My dark side scares Dracula. My dark side puts Vader to shame. But I try not to let it show. I don’t see darkness as appealing, but as a simple solution. Dive into the darkness, but remember to bring a flashlight if you don’t want to stay.
Every once in a while, suicidal or homicidal thoughts make their way from mind to mouth, and I have to do some damage control. More and more, I've stopped trying to pretend to be that "good guy" I used to act out. Do any of you honestly think I give a shit about school or college? Nah, it's about the knowledge. I just want to get my smarts up, so I can maybe write one fuckin AMAZING thing - be it a poem, book, or graffiti - before I die. After I write it, and I'll know it when I do, I can rest in peace.
You think I'm your friend? I'm only a nice guy cuz I'm lazy. Just because I talk to you doesn't even make you my acquaintance. Why? Because I know you don't got my back when push comes to shove. You'll go right on ahead and join the enemy forces. You know it’s funny how peer pressure works. The people most affected are the ones trying to put on the pressure.
I surprise myself in the fact that I agree with Mr. Greene. Just look back at the 80s. ‘Bad’ was a synonym for cool. John Bender, ‘bad’ personified, achieved idol status in everyone’s heart. How about today? Kids get into pointless arguments with teachers just to save face in front of their mates, because they have to be bad. Rappers spit about killin’ instead of chillin’. People still see bad as cool.
I don’t try to create that ‘image’ of being a badass. I don’t try to create any image. I just go through life doing just enough to get by. Greene might have the wrong idea of what lies in the dark, or at least he’s a bit too specific. My future’s shine dulls more and more every second. The light transcends. Darkness engulfs the light. Darkness signifies not just evil, but despair. How pathetic am I, thinking my small revelations even meet your eyes? Or perhaps they meet your eyes, but fail to make it into your heart? Perhaps this is just a few words I scribbled down so I could get a couple more scribbles in a gradebook? Don’t be foolish.
In this world, there are systems implemented to control you. You can break free from a system, but there will always be another one out there that will catch you and reel you back. There is no one answer to deal with these systems, but there is one way to find out how to deal: know them. Think of each little thing that controls you. Money, schools, parents, the media, music, and the police are all systems. The environment in which you develop determines 70% of your behavior and personality. The other 30% is determined by heredity. This is how those systems control you. All you have to do is acknowledge their control, and you just may find your own little way to manipulate their effects.
I grew up with punishment always looming over my head. Eventually, that gave me my current mindset of: do whatever I feel like, then accept the consequences. If you hear me complain, I’m probably not serious.
Sometimes, I can’t do what I want, and that poses a problem. Right now, I want to just leave. When I say I want to leave, I don’t mean the school, or the state. I want to leave the world. I want to leave this life. There are times when nothing is better than something. Some say “there is never a situation in life where life isn’t worth living.” Well, I just don’t think I deserve to live. Do you know how easy my life is? I have food. I have electricity that gives me light. I have enough free time to blow off all my other assignments just so I can write this shit. Still, I think I fail to appreciate life. Therefore, it’s only proper that I leave, so I can make room for someone else. Wouldn’t you agree? Someone less dark, who can get pleasure out of life, would be more deserving of my life. I’ll go to live in the darkness, and they can come into the light.
Have you ever taken a trip to the darkness? Have you ever seen death flash before your eyes? Have you watched others descend into the darkness? How did it make you feel? I’ll bet you call it some kind of ‘life-changing experience’ that made you appreciate the life you live. I want you to live that damn life, and I want you to live it well. I’ve seen death. I fought off the Reaper. I watched him take lives. I have watched my light dim down so low I couldn’t see, but I have remained. I am still here, and I don’t know why. That day out in the waves, when I was held under for a whole minute, thrashing about like a bull trying to dethrone its rider, how did I return to the surface? I believe this is the darkness Greene meant to describe. The dark is not a personality, but an aura. People are attracted to that aura like flies to a bug zapper. They know not why they are attracted, only that they are attracted. The last thing on their mind is getting zapped. Then it happens. It’s 4 am out on Providence and Pacific in AC, and your best friend is just pickin up some crack. Next thing you know, the deal goes sour, and there’s an empty spot on your ‘MySpace Top 8.’ Your friend just got zapped.
”I don’t wanna live no mo’
sometimes I hear death knockin at my front do’
I'm living like a hustle
Another drug in trouble, another day another sorrow”
To Schaeffer:
O.o; Your blog was really insightful and I really liked your use of rhetorical questions to exemplify your points, but I have certain things that I disagree with (Of course, it's my own opinion so please don't take it to heart or anything...) I also thought that your examples were really nice because I understand what you're saying. I liked the entire blog, but here are some things I want to say about certain parts.
"Every once in a while, suicidal or homicidal thoughts make their way from mind to mouth, and I have to do some damage control. More and more, I've stopped trying to pretend to be that "good guy" I used to act out. Do any of you honestly think I give a shit about school or college? Nah, it's about the knowledge. I just want to get my smarts up, so I can maybe write one fuckin AMAZING thing - be it a poem, book, or graffiti - before I die. After I write it, and I'll know it when I do, I can rest in peace."
!!! I can understand the homicidal and suicidal thoughts, but Schaeffer, don't doubt that you're a good guy because you are. And no, it's not because you're lazy, it's because you are.
As for the writing, I really do think that you can accomplish it. If you really are in it for the knowledge, I'm almost absolutely sure you will do well in whatever you want to do, in this case, writing something AMAZING. If you ever need a person's input, just ask me!!! ^_^ I'd gladly read it!!
"My future’s shine dulls more and more every second. The light transcends. Darkness engulfs the light. Darkness signifies not just evil, but despair. How pathetic am I, thinking my small revelations even meet your eyes? Or perhaps they meet your eyes, but fail to make it into your heart? Perhaps this is just a few words I scribbled down so I could get a couple more scribbles in a gradebook? Don’t be foolish."
I whole-heartedly agree with just about everything you said, but I disagree with one thing. How would you know if your "small" revelations don't meet our eyes? I always thought that you were the carefree guy that I can look up to, you know? I thought that you should know that, whatever you do, you're still my idol, alright? That's because you're the great SCHAEFFER!!! Even if you feel like no one's looking, I can tell you there is someone out there. After all, even if people say otherwise, we all have respect for you. ^_^ YEA!
"In this world, there are systems implemented to control you. You can break free from a system, but there will always be another one out there that will catch you and reel you back. There is no one answer to deal with these systems, but there is one way to find out how to deal: know them. Think of each little thing that controls you. Money, schools, parents, the media, music, and the police are all systems. The environment in which you develop determines 70% of your behavior and personality. The other 30% is determined by heredity. This is how those systems control you. All you have to do is acknowledge their control, and you just may find your own little way to manipulate their effects."
That's actually really insightful and I agree once again. It's most likely true anyhow. I mean, look at the teens of today and the teens of the 1770s. Teens of today are influenced by being bad. Teens of the 1770s were way more obedient and did only a small amount of bad things, right? I really liked the way you describe the system because it's true. To control someone, you have to control their beliefs first and make them feel like they are unique when they are not.
Anyways, for some final words, I feel for you Schaeffer and for everyone who has to feel extreme oppression from their parents. My parents are the same, but to an extent. They love me and respect me above everything else. But don't give up on life!!! As you said, there's a whole lot of knowledge out there! Why not learn more while you can? It's always best to learn. So, yea, Jon...you're cool and awesome and I just thought that you should know (again) that you are my idol.
Peace!
Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies.
Well, that took the happy right out of my day. No wait, it's coming back. My natural happiness has so far not been reppressed for over a week, and nothing has yet succeeded in destroying it completely. Now, the worst losses I've ever experienced in life is that of an unborn baby sister (not that she was fully developed enough to be determined as guy or girl, but I knew she was a girl), a few dogs, a cat, and a great-grandmother who I had only met once at the age of four. So if I were ever to suffer a serious loss of someone close, I don't know how it would affect the happy cloud I spend my life drifting around in.
For about the fifth time, and nowhere near the last time, I digress.
Alice is right; humanity is undeniably attracted to the bad guy, especially the "bad boy" (though the traditional "bad boy" is generally more misunderstood than truly evil. Like Heathcliff, the villian in Wuthering Heights? I live him! As long as we were talking about villians, I needed to give a shoutout to the original Bad Boy since 1847. Yes, I know that is perhaps the nerdiest comment any of you have ever heard. You'll get over it.)
Anyway, if humanity isn't attracted to the villian, then how come that Dexter show (you know, the one where the serial killer is the main character) gets such good ratings? And how else do you explain the wild popularity of Hannibal the Cannibal (not to mention the mondo crush that one of my friends- YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE- has for him? Which is just a whole other layer of ick that I don't want to even get into right now)? Now like it says, those people are reviled, but then again some people have an odd (and frankly sick, sorry) fascination with those type of people.
Now, pimps, seducers, and hustlers have been so idolized by popular culture that they're not even seen as villians anymore (Keep your pimp hand strong!) but as almost comical figures, in some cases, and heroes. I'll use my own association to demonstrate:
Pimp= T.J. The Pimp from Deuce Bigalo, a comic and harmless figure.
Seducer= Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile, a powerful woman who is idolized as almost a goddess.
Hustler= "I'm a hustler, I'm a, I'm a hustler." Don't tell me that that same song doesn't pop up in your head when you think hustler. A rap icon, viewed as desirable to become.
Now in reality, pimps, seducers, and hustlers are generally not good people who you want to be like when you grow up. But take an average teen, and I'll bet they're associations come pretty close to mine. I don't really know why people are attracted to these figures, besides the inaccurate images that have been presented to us by the media. (and I'll admit it; I love TJ the Pimp. No, I do not like pimps in general, but who doesn't like him?)
Now, I've never met a pimp, seducer or hustler in person (or maybe I have and just don't know it...) but if I did, I don't think I would like them or be drawn to them in any way, shape or form. I can't even comprehend why I would be drawn to them.
That's not to say that I don't have a dark side. I think everybody does. People are not black or white, but varying shades of gray. Everybody has a dark side to their nature. It all depends on what they do with that darkness, if they let it take over, or nurture the good in their personality. There was a good quote, I can't remember who from, but it applies to this idea really well:
"All evil needs to thrive is for good men to do nothing."
Now, I'm not sure waht my dark side is, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with my ginormous ego. However, I do believe that I am innately good and would do the right thing if it came right down to it. However, who knows what they're capable of until they reach the point of desperation? Not me, and not anyone who hasn't gone through some horrendous ordeal.
That's really all I have to say for now.
Um, I meant to say that I "love" Heathcliff, not "live" him. I don't go around executing complicated cruel revenge on those who've wronged me. Much.
After reading the blog post and Alice’s comment about how every girl loves the ‘bad’ guy, I immediately though of Jess form Gilmore Girls (<3). Rory, an incredibly smart, intelligent, and mature girl falls for the rebel from the city who although gives Rory a whole lot of shit, steals her heart. This is the perfect example how everyone feels attracted to the rebel or ‘villainous’ guy/girl. We always say that we don’t know why we have fallen for them, but deep inside we feel a strong desire and it’s as though a magnetic force pulls us in deeper. I would love to read Greene’s book to get the entire picture, but from what I know, I can conclude that as everyone else has said, everyone has a dark side. Weather it’s buried deep inside you or easily seen from your daily expressions, a dark side is always there. To cite one of my favorite pieces of literature (MOLLY all of these are for YOU!), in Jodi Piccoult’s book Plain Truth, the main character, a disciplined Amish teenager, can’t stay away from the outside world and falls in love with a college boy, breaking her strong religious practices and illustrating the secret rebellious side that she has. Just about every book or television series has a main character that either is rebellious and trying to find consistency in their life, or constantly follows by the rules, and is attempting to break free and show their real character.
I agree with Greene that everyone has a dark side, however minimal people show that side of themselves. Because of that, I feel these people can either go one of two ways. Over time their ‘threatening’ side will come out and bring characters such as villains and murderers, or they will simply keep that darkness internally and it won’t be seen by others. To illustrate another example; in Holes, the heart warming teacher Kate Barlow became Kissing Kate Barlow, the outlaw that left people to die in the dessert because of the death of her true love Sam (<3). Her dark side exploded and overtook her body, keeping her from making ‘civilized’ decisions and lowered her level possibly to that of the people that killed Sam. This is an example of the person who allows their dark side to consume their body and create evil in the world. Not all people will turn out like this, however.
…I’ll finish this later/
CARLY! Nice way to use every example I was thinking of. Gilmore Girls and Plain Truth, I think we are too much alike. Stop it. <3
This question seemed ridiculously deep to me even before I read Schaeffer’s post. Wow. I honestly don’t know what to write (or even think) about this topic after reading that. Whatever. I’ll do
what I can.
Every single person has a dark side. Even those who you always see smiling and laughing aren’t exempt. They can just hide it better, keep it at bay in the face of others. Most of these people use the happy face as a façade to conceal their real emotions and thoughts. They are frequently more tortured than those who accept what they have become because they are forcing themselves to live two lives. But some of these people are truly genuine. Their dark side is hidden deep within the recesses of their being, brought out only in the most trying and difficult times. But it is always there, creeping around the corner, waiting to reveal its ugly face at the first sign of weakness or depression. Some have let their dark side out so much that it consumes them and becomes them. They often envy those who can control their alter ego, because they see the person that they wish they could be. Perhaps they once were that very person, until devastating events tore their lives apart. Some can recover; others begin a long, difficult journey down a road with no apparent end in sight. This is why you can’t attach your happiness to one single thing or something that is fleeting; it can be taken away at any moment and leave you in anguish for the rest of your life.
Of course, there is always the other side, those who openly embrace the dark side, imploring it to encompass their lives and effect their choices, judgment, and lifestyle. Usually, they have grown in an environment where they expect the worst, and have experienced pain and disappointment for as long as they can remember. Their “bad side” is all they know. How else would you expect someone to act who has grown accustomed to being let down and abandoned? They are probably more surprised when something good happens then when something bad happens. (Maybe that makes them appreciate the good things more than others?). If darkness is all you know, a ray of light is shocking. You would probably want to snuff out that light, because all it means to you is false hope. They become caught up in a cycle of disappointment. And humans live in cycles. We find where we fit in, and we stay there. For the most part, we are only comfortable with what we are familiar with. Unfortunately, familiarity for some people is death and destruction. It isn’t there choice to be drawn in to this lifestyle, they are most often just a product of their environment. I think these people only choose to display their dark side so prominently is because it is what they are familiar with. Perhaps their bright side is hiding inside of them somewhere, waiting for a joyous occasion to display itself and try to change the person’s outlook. I don’t know, maybe I’m just too optimistic sometimes, but I honestly believe that everyone has some good inside of them, some emotion, some sense of affection.
So I guess I’m saying that I disagree with Mr. Greene. The pimps, hustlas, gangstas, thugs, hoodlums, hooligans, and mobsters. They don’t recognize their dark side and act upon it because it is easier than resisting it; they recognize their dark side and act upon it because it is who they are. It would be more difficult for them to recognize their bright side and act upon that, because it is alien to them. This opinion is simply from reading Bunje’s synopsis. Maybe if I read the entire blog, it would sway my belief. But in my experience, I have grown in an environment where I feel no need to display my dark side, even though sometimes I think it would be easier. My family has strong morals, and those morals have been instilled in me, because they are all I have known since my birth. I have not gone through nearly as much pain and loss as many people, which is why there is no reason for me to be angry or depressed. Therefore, I think the exact opposite is true for those raised in places where disappointment is more prevalent than happiness. Of course they will be drawn to loss and disappointment, since it is all they know.
I live a double-life. For the most part, I come off as a really nice, shy, and easy-going person. At least, that's what most people tell me. I try and keep it that way. I'm naturally polite to adults, I'm very understanding to others, and I get along well with most people. I don't pretend to be the "good guy", or well, “good girl”, which would make more sense. I naturally am able to pull off that type of person. For example, my neighbor's father is obsessed with me. (Not like, in a creepy child molester type of way) He's always bragging about me to his friends and family, "Oh, it's Jennifer Michelle ladies and gentleman!" "Jennifer Michelle is the smartest girl in the world. You can ask her anything and she has an answer." "Jennifer Michelle, if you ever need a ride, I'll take you anywhere you need to go, anything for the nicest girl in the world!" (Okay, that MAY sound creepy, but it's definitely not, you just don't know my neighbor) But, he only has that interpretation of me, because I truly am the sweetest girl when I'm around adults. It's not an act, it's just who I am. My sister even makes fun of me for how differently I start to talk, and how proper I am, but it's not because I want them to think I'm nice, I don't need their acceptance, I just have morals. I don't believe in being completely rude to people. For the most part.
This is where my other side comes in, and yes, I do have a "dark side". Everyone does, it's impossible to live a "good" life. We as humans are drawn to the evil in things. It is true, as Robert Greene pointed out, that villainous characters appeal to us because they are more real, more honest, more true to themselves. Many times, I’m a straight-up bitch and I can degrade people and not feel the least bit sympathetic. Judging people is a talent of mine. But even those aren’t my “dark side,” because everyone experiences those impulses and actions. This other side of me is a person who no one would even imagine me being. I find it hard at times how I am capable of living such a life. There is only one person who knows of this complete side of me, and I don't understand how he doesn't think I'm completely mentally unstable. I said before, I have morals. But this other side of me has no morals whatsoever. To give a vague idea of this “dark side”, I'll just tell you something simple, that isn’t too revealing: I am a compulsive liar. I will lie my ass off, even if I don't have to. Some times I may be doing it to protect myself, other times it’s only because I can. I just love the feeling of telling the biggest, most outrageous lie, right to peoples' faces. They believe me, I don't know how or why, but they always do. I usually never feel bad, either. It's their fault for being so naive and gullible. And it’s funny, because I even tell people I lie, and they STILL end up believing me. The dark side is the feeling of my heart pounding because I know I could get caught, but never do, so I keep doing it. It’s a guilty pleasure, I don’t mind it at all.
I am also culpable (agh, I was waiting for a time I could use a vocab word!) of wanting others to fail.
Matt wrote: ““If I don’t help them,” I think sinisterly to myself, “It makes it all that easier to do better than them. I am removing the competition before the game has even started.” I do my evil “Mwhahahaha” laugh but then I think and say, “That’s just not me. I don’t want to hurt others and, sometimes, in my own cockiness, it’s no fun to play the game all by myself, I would like a challenge.” I quickly dismiss the thought and go to help whomever asked me.”
Now, I won’t aid in this desire of mine. I’ve mentioned in class how I’m not the one who’ll make it harder for people to succeed, for example in softball. This season, with many talented underclassmen being capable of making varsity, I won’t be the one to make them look bad by sabotaging them. I won’t not help them if they’re swing is bad, or if they don’t understand a play, or if they’re having trouble with their throws. But, burning inside of me is this yearning for them to fail, even if I help them. If the time comes when they make a horrible mistake, I relish every moment of it. Of course, at times I may not help. At times, I will be greedy and think about what’s better for me, but that’s human nature. Some things I just can’t control, but what I can, I will.
This is why I don’t trust many people. I know most will end up turning on me, because I know I will on others. People are cruel and dishonest. I can say this, because I know I am. My sister owed me $15, and I kept reminding her to pay me back. She kept insisting she didn’t owe me anything. I found her “secret stash” of money, so I took the $15, knowing she’d never pay me back. The other day, she actually came up to me and gave me the money. I never told her I took it before. She’s owed me money many, many times before. I felt that this would just make it even. As a result of my “dark side”, I don’t feel guilt. I’m manipulative. I connive my way through life. I enjoy seeing others fall. I don’t directly set people up for failure, but because of my mindset, hoping that they do fail, I feel as though some of my actions are biased. When my two best friends come over, I usually make them food. They especially love my grilled cheese sandwiches. I’ve always envied them (I am a very jealous person, nothing about me is ever satisfactory compared to what others are/have) and so I use my manipulative ways to always add 4 or 5 tablespoons of butter (which btw, 1 tbsp of butter is 100 calories, do the math, it adds up) to each of their sandwiches. It makes me feel better about myself. I don’t feel guilty about that either. Most of you probably think, wow, I’m one screwed up friend, but you don’t know me. All this “revealing” information is nothing compared to what I could completely astonish you with. Like I said, I live a double-life, that’s just who I am. Oh, and if I contradicted myself, which I probably did, I really don’t care. Everything I write makes sense in my mind, but usually never comes out correct.
Once again, I feel for Schaeffer. I don’t exactly believe that I don’t deserve to live, but I do feel as though I’m not fully appreciating my life because I live so secretly and, well, horribly. I have a pessimistic view on things, which most have become aware of a few weeks ago. I feel as though my life is pretty much, well, not so much pointless as it is useless (even though they mean pretty much the same thing)? There’s nothing great about it, I’m a screw up, and I’m not thankful for much. As “good” as I may have it compared to others in this world, I think because I don’t take advantage of what I have, I’m not living to my full potential, thus my life is meaningless. I’m not “emo”, I’m not suicidal. I think too much for my own good. I’d rather “waste” my time thinking, than being productive in society or as an individual. My thoughts, as ridiculous as this may sound, keep me irrationally sane. They pose a state of equilibrium. My alter-ego sparks the fire in my life, the only thing that keeps me entertained and willing to fight to protect it. My self, “Jennifer Michelle”, is boring, to me at least. I don’t find myself interesting, I don’t know how others do, or even if they do. But I do need that calmness in me to restrain the urges of my darker side. I think everybody does.
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid that I'll take over. Does that tell you well enough about MY dark side?
To Matt:
Your blog was amazing as usual. Though I'll admit, I didn't think you had too much of a dark side until now. Plus... the description of the *ahem* made-up scenario that expanded upon what you wrote last week was very... Okay, It got the point across...
I think that you are most likely not the only person who's thought to themselves that they should keep their ideas to themselves and take other people down. I'm pretty sure everyone in the AP that wants to make top ten is like that. I know I am too, though I kinda like it better when I can talk about classes and study with other people who know what they're doing as well. I mean, really... it sucks to study with people who just want to steal your knowledge and for what? I don't even know. I find it better if you help the person and they help you in return... wait a sec... when you said that you stometimes don't feel like helping certain people... were you referring to me? I mean, I understand that it's a competition, but MATT!!! WE'RE FRIENDS!!! >////< Right?!?!
Your definition of darkness is a bit different from my own, but it's really a matter of opinion. Plus I think you make a good point. It's like the light-dark discussion. Without light, there are no shadows [darkness]. So, without good, there is no evil. However, I believe that darkness is in everything we do, even if we don't realize it. As I've said before, it's all about survival of the fittest and natural selection. In order to get a mate in the wild, one has to fight for the dominant position among the others to have the privilege of reproducing their own genes. I think that there is no good, but because we, as "superior" humans, have so much free time to think and force morals on our children of the past, it's become socially accepted that there is, in fact, right or wrong. However, while I might be advocating Darwinism, I also believe that it came with power of beliefs like religion. I haven't heard the end of it from one of my most religious ex-friend. "If you don't believe in Jesus, you will burn in hell." Gee, thanks, but no. *Ahem* but that is beside the point. Basically religion dictates what is right or wrong in their holy books, right? Those rights or wrongs were based on what was socially accepted back then and from that, the right and wrong of today is somewhat the same. So in the end, both tell you something. Darkness is defined by people, not by nature, right? (I kinda lost my mind while writing this, so please excuse my random switches to different subjects)
Since I don't have much time, I'll say one more thing...
WAH!!! Overachiever!!!
The End
Speaking of lying, I once told a girl I was born in England.
She believed me.
I followed this up with the statement that my mom went into premature labor during a tour of Buckingham Palace.
She still believed me.
I continued to tell her a detailed story of how the tour guide fainted, and one of those fuzzy-hat gaurds accompanied my mom to the hospital in the ambulance, and was the one who named me "Sarah Elizabeth".
This is where she stopped believing me.
Sigh.
Anyway, Alice is right, what does define the "Dark Side" anyway? Is it people like she says? Or is it that little devil and angel that sit on people's shoulder's in all the cartoons? For example, what if you think "dark" things (ex. Laughing hysterically on the inside when someone hurts themself) but your actions area all good and kind? (while you laugh on the inside, you rush over to that person to help them out, and put on a concerned face to mask your inner glee. Not that I feel inner glee at the pain of others. Much.)
I think that people are safe inside their heads, and so as long as they do the right thing, they need not worry that their inner sadist will get them sent straight to hell, or turned into a cockroach in the next life (not that I ever worry about this. Much.)
Myra, there was a season of Buffy where the main villian was this chick named glory who was from a Hell dimension, and the other rulers there sent her to Earth because they were afraid she'd take over... She kind of reminds me of you.
Schaeffer:
Revelations, by their very nature, must make their way into your heart after they've met your eyes. If they did not, the denotation of "revelation" would be incorrect. A revelation is something you must feel in your heart of hearts; it is an undeniable truth that has existed perhaps just below the surface of your subconcious that punches its way through, kicking and sputtering and grasping along its way. Often times, it leaves shambles in its wake. And in that shambles, in that glorious chaos that is your mind, heart and soul after being socked with revelation--THAT is is when the light truly transcends.
Well I actually disagree with what Robert Greene says completely. We are attracted to villains not because they are more “genuine” than we are, in fact they are “fronting” their true inner spirit, but because they care so much on the impression they leave their victims and archenemies that they will come to hurting people.
I might be optimistic on my approach to living so I agree with Anne Franck on this “ I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” –its in our agenda book— I truly believe that, as corny as it seems, everyone has some good inside them, villains just express it differently than the rest of us. They “the villains” want to fit in to our society but they are scared that society will reject them so they act out in sick ways so that they never encounter the feeling of disappointment. You see it in the hallways all the time. Hmph Hmph…bullies. We don’t call them bullies anymore but I won’t get into that. =/ . They find the faults in people and exploit them because they do not accept the faults in themselves.
Villains want you to notice them. They come up with these convoluted plans to show off. They don’t care if someone gets hurt in the process. They actually believe it to be freakin’ hilarious if someone gets their arm chopped off of a windmill. The more victims the more people notice. Villains know the game. They aren’t stupid. They know that society will ask themselves, “Why did he do that?” or “Does she have no heart?”. But as long as they have their attention they don’t care about the negative publicity. Remember that movie that Ms. Bunje was talking about in class? The one where the victims where in oil and the more hits the website got, the more voltage was added to the victims and the more victims died? The villain didn’t care about who died or how much pain he was inflicting upon people. All he cared about was that he had something that even the FBI couldn’t figure out. His location. It was all a joke to him. No one mattered except for him.
Ummmm….Suuuure I guess you could say that. My dark side has lots of chocolate chip cookies and pink milk but okay. HaHa. Noooo, but I do have a short temper at times. If you had a little brother who was constantly asking you questions so would you. I mean I love him to death but sometimes he needs to learn how to Shut Up! He’s like, “You were supposed to do this – and - this” and I’m like “ I don’t need a third parent!!!!!!! Grrrrrr!” Anyways as my friend Salvador says, “ You need to learn how to be mean sometimes!” I’m not trying to sound conceited but I think that implies that I don’t have a bad side don’t you?
Sincerely,
The goodie2shoes
Leonor <3
*Anne Frank, sorry typo
Jennifer P.,
I liked your blog. Duh that’s why I'm commenting it! Anyways I agree with the part where you say you 're "naturally polite". I do that too. I don't mean to it just comes out that way. But yes everyone has a bad side but I don’t think you can consider some people’s bad side a bad side. Get it? You see I think a lot of people just are that way, yes they may have an annoying part to them that to you makes them have a bad side, but It’s just the way they are….
=)
Wow, I just read the piece for this week's rrl. And let me just say, there's nothing like the senseless murder of a young girl to make me feel safe and cozy when I'm sitting home alone (and the dogs keep barking like they hear something I don't..... Ahh!).
Leonor, thanks =]
And I really liked in your blog when you quote Anne Frank:
"I might be optimistic on my approach to living so I agree with Anne Franck on this “ I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.”"
I don't agree with that, but I think that's great that you do. For someone to honestly believe that there's good in everyone, that people just express it all differently, that's an interesting approach to it.
Holy shit. I just reader Jon's blog and that's it. I don't even know what to type or think, I've just been sitting here at my computer staring at the screen. I finally decided to type after fifteen minutes of nothing. Hopefully I can muster the right words to say.
I don't agree with Mr. Greene (this seems like I'm about to solve the Clue game ha ha). He said "that we are drawn to certain villainous characters because they are more GENUINE than we are. They recognize their dark side and rather than try to hide it or deny it completely, they act on it." I think that is total crap. Being an optimist, or at least trying to be, I think that there is good in EVERYONE, and the "bad" ones CHOOSE to be bad. Not because that they (villains and whatnot) are more genuine than the next person. They are lazy. (Gosh I wish I knew how to use italics) The genuine person, the good person, let's their inner light shine rather than allowing darkness to creep in. Darkness is in the world, not people. The "bad guy" is the one who decides to let it in. They are cowardly and can't stand up to a fight against the wrong thing.
The first character who I thought of that "wasn't what it seemed" was Professor Snape in all of the Harry Potter novels. He seemed to be the biggest jerk, the ultimate villain, (I mean, come on, he killed Albus Dumbledore the biggest bad ass EVER) the sneakiest scum. (Hmm.. not sure that "sneaky" and "scum" sound good together, but whatever.) He treated Harry like crap for the seven years he attended Hogwarts, and Harry was sure that he was Harry's personal demon. However, in the last chapters of the book, it reveals that Snape was a good guy after all, playing the character of the "traitor" so well. He divulged to Harry that he was indeed on the "good" side.
Also, just because someone does wrong actions does NOT make them a bad person necessarily. I really don't want to put my whole life out there right now because I'm not really comfortable with that. I think some of the "Hilary-is-a-bad-ass" material is worthy of an occasional paper, so I might save it until then. This is if I get the balls to actually say it.
Anyway, I've done some dumb things (especially last year) in which everyone gave me so much shit about. They told me, "Hilary... I don't know what's happened to you. You have changed so much.." or "I'm not mad at you... I'm just disappointed."
Really?
Yes, I guess I suppose I have a dark side. Everyone does. Take Adam and Eve for example. From the beginning of humankind, Eve gave in to the serpent's words, and Adam gave in to what Eve told him to do. It is human nature to be weak and give in to things.
No one is perfect, and obviously I am most certainly NOT by any means. So, I ask myself, why did I do it? I think I'm a good person, but why did I give in and do dumb stuff that everyone else seemed to be doing?
(P.S. This is really hard to say without actually saying it haha :P)
Well, honestly, I was tired of doing the right thing. I had a weak moment. I gave in. All of these were reasons why. And you know what? I don't regret it at all because it was a learning experience.
Everyone has a good side. (Don't give me bull shit about Hitler and whatnot.) Yes, EVERYone has a good side, or at least some good in them. It is the weak people, the "villains," who decide to dull that shine and give in to evil.
hilary - u used harry potter as an example! what the pisss! that's what i was gonna do!!! =( oh well i still am. lol. (btw, i love you more now that u mentioned harry. <333)
In response to Erik N.-
This was the first time that I really really read one of your blogs ha ha. I hope that isn't insulting, but I'm a skimmer and usually comment on a response that happens to be on my computer screen. Yes, lazy. :)
Anyway, I would first like to say that you are an excellent writer! You had a great use of vocabulary and descriptions. I particularly liked this sentence:
"But some of these people are truly genuine. Their dark side is hidden deep within the recesses of their being, brought out only in the most trying and difficult times. But it is always there, creeping around the corner, waiting to reveal its ugly face at the first sign of weakness or depression."
I sort of said the same things, but not as poetic due to the fact that I was so tired and my brain was mush when I wrote it. :) All people have bad in them, and I thought it was interesting that you made the point that circumstance had a lot to do with evil. This is a shame because some people are just born into really terrible situations and do not have the strength to rise above it. However, I do not believe that these people are evil at heart. Like I said in my blog, darkness is in the world, not people. The weaker person is the one who allows it to take over them.
As to what Robert Greene discussed in his piece, I have to say that I don’t completely agree. Sure, people could have a dark side, but that really depends on what you see as being dark. Everyone is different, and everyone is going to choose to do “the wrong” thing many times in their life whether by accident or on purpose. But what someone perceives as wrong may be completely right to someone else. Who is to say what’s really wrong or right? We discussed a lot last year that past generations along with society have set the precedent for what is wrong and what is right. But as expected, new things arrived that have yet to be determined as right or wrong which we have to consider. But I believe that everyone is able to choose which side they want to live by.
Hilary couldn’t have said it better: “I think that there is good in EVERYONE, and the "bad" ones CHOOSE to be bad.” Everyone may have a dark side, but it’s their choice to be a bad guy. I don’t agree when he says that we are drawn to the “pimps, seducers and hustlers” because they are GENUINE, either. Doing the wrong thing (which is what he says these people do) seems a lot easier a great deal of the time, but struggling to do the right thing is what makes the good guys genuine, and NOT the villains.
But the question is, do I have a dark side? From what I believe a dark side is, I say no. Obviously I’m no where near perfect, and I do bad things sometimes, but it doesn’t make be a “bad guy”. Yes I know, I’m super butch and tough when I rock people out on the soccer field, but in all actuality, I can’t stand hurting people. I’ll always be the girl where if I knocked you down, as long as you haven’t been giving me shit the whole game, I will gladly lend you a hand and help you up with a sincere, “sorry.” But I admit it! I HATE HURTING PEOPLE.
This goes for emotional damage as well. If you’re my friend and I’m upset with something you’ve done I’ll surely tell you, but I’ll consider your feelings as best as I can. If I don’t like you because you’ve previously done something to hurt me, then I will obviously not care about your feelings as much. But regardless of the status, I just don’t like to hurt people.
Another thing that has come to mind is jealousy. That term just reeks with “dark side.” In my opinion, everyone gets jealous at times, so I can’t deny that it doesn’t happen to me. However, I don’t let it run my life. Whether it has to do with my boyfriend or something with another girl, I care too little to let jealousy take over me. Though I read people’s blogs and noticed that a large majority love to watch people fail and see themselves rise to the top. SERIOUSLY? I don’t see how anybody gets pleasure out of this and frankly, I don’t want to. I honestly believe that the people who work the hardest without a great deal of assistance deserve to be at the top. I’m not going to connive or scheme my way up there because I don’t believe it’s my place. Don’t let jealousy get the best of you. Realize that you are who you are and accept it because there’s a very little chance that it’s ever going to change.
I’ve thought long and hard on this topic and earnestly believe that everyone has a good side, however, they choose which one to live by. So reading Robert Greene’s entire piece should be interesting, considering I haven’t agreed with much of what he has said already.
The world is split. There are only two sides. There is only light and dark. There is no middle line. Then, suddenly, I woke up. It’s sad when a person as blind as me has to tell others to stop dreaming. Dark, Light, Good and Evil, isn’t so simple. These words are merely exaggerations. We cannot accept every part of ourselves, and end up labeling traits that we view as either positive or negative. These labels exist due to our inability to see the complexities of characters, much less human beings.
While we enjoy heroes by relating to them, we enjoy villains even more as they stand out by being “completely different” from us. A good number of protagonists are also enjoyable for this reason. After all, why would a snide bastard like Jade Curtiss of “Tales of the Abyss”, and someone so over the top (in a good way), such as Godot from “Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney”, be so popular, if not for being different from what we would expect from normal life? For the same reasons we enjoy entertainment, love going on trips (any connotation is fine), and go out of our way to antagonize ourselves, we love villains. A normal life as normal person is boring. Different is fun.
Now, does the question really have to be asked? The answer is still no, I do not have a dark side. I do not have a light side either. I merely am. I exist in a cool gray, with streaks of white and black within. I have accepted them as part of me. Those dark and light blotches have long been integrated. My obsession with competition? It has been used to push me forward. My irrational hate of people? It has long been shaped into my goal of improving the world. There are things kept to myself, but that is a given. Am I flawless? No. Don’t even try to make a strawman argument. The rare cases of my anger involve people jumping back in shock, or in one case, tackling someone, and elbowing a guy trying to stop me in the stomach around three times. Yes, it’s wrong, but dark, nope. It’s just anger, something I now have good control of, in contrast to Grade 6. I’m also extremely sarcastic. It’s still not dark. It’s just there, and quite entertaining to those who hear it. Unlike most people, I don’t hype up my small wants and misdeeds as horrible acts. There is always retribution, whether if it’s wrought by my own hands or by others. There is a difference between falling into hell, and falling into a hole you just dug a bit too deep. You can always get out of the hole if you look up and climb.
Mister Robert Greene, no matter how good of a writer he may be, like many others, is grasping at some fantasy world. Yes, those wrongdoers, pimps, hustlers, and seducers are most likely to be true to themselves. They see nothing wrong with what they’re doing. The law is just their enemy. So what? Their actions aren’t true to me, and his writing isn’t true to everyone else. Once AGAIN, I say, the “dark side” is a dramatization. It is the creation of what we view as morally right and wrong. Nobody has the same code of honor. Those children who wanted to become police officers and firemen weren’t power hungry, civil rights leaders were not maniacs who wanted to kill everyone who oppressed them, and even those terrorists, whom may have acted on their “dark side”, usually had a reason for their actions, even if their mental stability was questionable. They are as different as day and night. They were individuals. Their wants different, their actions different; can they not all be true to themselves?
How should I say this? Greene is wrong, and no matter how many times I say it, no matter how old it becomes, I will not accept it. How is that? I’ll be waiting for the day when I’m hit by the magic anti-denouncing bullets that he spoke so heartily about. Ha-ha…it’ll be fun.
I don’t think anyone is born with a dark side. However, as a person grows up, their “dark” side begins to develop. Some choose to follow this path, some ignore it completely, and others are sucked into darkness involuntarily. “Involuntarily” because there are certain unlucky souls that are put into an environment where they are at a disadvantage. If a person is constantly surrounded by hustlers and dealers, they most likely will become one themselves. But this is not always the case. It does not mean a person cannot overcome their disadvantage. Whether or not their “dark” side becomes dominant in their lives depend on the choices of that person. In the movie, the Ron Clark Story (based on a true story) starring Matthew Perry, there is a boy named Tayshawn. He plays the rebel and he tries to act like the kid who doesn’t care about school or anything for that matter. He blames the life around him for what he has become. For a while, he plays that role, but eventually he finds himself in his love for theater and music. And he makes a better life for himself by avoiding the “dark” things around him like gangs and drugs.
Nevertheless, everyone does have a dark side in some shape or form. Even me. There are times when all the odds just seem against me. After that, then come moments where I am at the point of no hope. Giving up and falling towards the dark side seems to be the easiest option from there. Being dark is so much easier than being good. By being dark, you can forget all the cares of the world. Just think about Spiderman in his last movie. He was drawn to the dark side even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to. But he got a glimpse of what it was like not to be the “good guy” for once. He felt so much thrill and excitement not always having to save the day. But doing that would be weak. It would be taking the easy way out because it is so much easier to let that darkness take you away then fight it. I’ve been fighting and I will continue to fight. That does not mean I don’t have moments of weakness like Spiderman. But if you are a good person, there will come times where the dark side shines through. And if you’re a dark person, there will come times when goodness shines through. That is how life is. At least, that’s how I see it. It’s never black and white. There are always shades of gray.
Yet, I do understand why people find the dark side appealing. It is different. And people want to be different. Unique. And if you’re a good person and living that way for the majority of your life, you may start to wonder what it’s like on the other side. Darkness can be mysterious. But in the constant search to be different, these people are actually not “genuine” at all. In contrast to Mr. Greene’s belief, they are not more “genuine” because they act upon their dark side. They just prefer to choose that path. Just as I choose to be good. I cannot criticize them for wanting to be that way.
In response to Matt W:
Wow, you really had a lot to say. The part that really got me interested was when you defined “darkness/evil.” I completely agree that we cannot have a world with just good or just bad. We need both. They counteract each other making us differentiate between the two and helping us choose our own paths. If there weren’t bad in the world, there would be no good acts to fix the bad. This reminds me of a line from A Walk To Remember (yeah, I’m a movie buff :] ) when Jaime says, “If there was no suffering, there would be no compassion.” Gosh, how true is that? And as for your dark side of “apathy,” trust me your not alone. I’m pretty sure all of us have seen bullying and tormenting occur, but have not done anything about it. Sure, we probably said, “that was so mean” or “you shouldn’t have done that,” but we still don’t take any actions. Never would I have thought that as an example of everyday darkness. You made really great points matt.
The infamous “dark side” is portrayed by countless characters, in countless movies. Would there be a cult following of these dark characters if there was not a relation between what is socially acceptable and what people desire. The things we desire drive the unstoppable force of darkness within us. “I would give my life for you.” Many would say this seemingly meaningful line is selfless; however, this is one of the most selfish things one can do. The reason, in most cases, of death is a wrong choice that surrenders to the dark side. A mother needs money to support her two children, whose father hasn’t been seen for years. She decides to sacrifice her body to the street corner. After two weeks of relatively steady income, her children are never read that final bedtime story and wonder why their normally punctual mother has not returned home. Her children were made orphans when she was taken, tortured and eventually brutally murdered in the woods. Now, one could blame society for this tragedy or one could easily blame the man that killed her, but the woman really killed herself. This suicide lingered since the point she agreed to have sex with the deadbeat father. She was drawn to the disobedience to her parents, the trill she got when she heard someone’s footsteps marching down the hall from the heater closet; the intrigue of the dark side. The water she dove into felt warm and refreshing, yet as she swam toward shore and took her first step on the ground below the water, her foot sank in. The more she struggled the more of her body was consumed. The water became cold. The futile struggle ended quickly as she drew her last breath. This person is not unique. This would credit her kind too much. People like her are all too common, she didn't save her children. This selfish person ruined the lives of the ones she loved, but was she left suffering? She is no longer. The ultimate sacrifice is only the ultimate surrender to the pressures of life. The husband that beats his wife and children, only to relieve the stress from his work day; the sports jock that uses drugs for the first time; the teacher that must feel dominant over their students, they all need satisfaction. They knew at one point, their ways were wrong, but the feeling of the darkness is just too inviting.
The darkness within everyone is deceiving. The darkness within my own self is no different. I feel that the more the darkness consumes on the inside, the more layers of veneer are needed to cover the imperfections. There are skeletons in everyone’s closet, if there aren’t you have not lived life. Driving down the highway, what if I was to swerve off the road careening into the pine trees with my family in the car, what would be left? Working with a person, I could lead them to a closet in an empty classroom, where no cameras patrol. A simple snap of the neck would do. Hide the body and steal the keys, there would be no one to miss them; after all, it was only an “accident”. The dark side lingers in me as well as any mass murderer. I am continually calculating the possibilities of an “accident” conveniently happening. Fortunately, I possess the ability to suppress my visions. These are the calculations that I am happy not to use. Reasoning binds the darkness from taking over, the light that shines through the darkness will forever be the limiting factor of the darkness that will eventually consume us all.
To start this topic off, I really don't think we are drawn to people in real life that are "villanous." I would think that, like me, many of us look down upon the bullies, the meanie-heads, and the assholes. I know that I, more than often, want those kinds of people to just disappear. They needlessly complicate life of the poor, targeted victims. On the other hand, I can see how people can come to love the "villains" of movies and other entertainment genres. Luke Skywalker and Yoda? Who cares about them when you got Anakin Skywalker, the good guy turned bad. Everybody scream !!!Darth Vader!!! It really isn't clear why we do this, but I think it might just be the repetition or lack of it. In movies, the hero is always overdone. We see heroes appear far too frequently, and said heroes tend to be victorious just as much. I'm sure like me, many want to root for the bad guy. The sole person who wants to challenge his sad fate, and face the hero in glorious combat >=D !!!! On the other hand, we see far too much news on the problems on our home front. Crime, Murder, Rape, War, Genocide. We are constantly exposed to sinful side of our own kind. In this day and age, people would respect the person who stands up to the troublemaker. Someone who will challenge a powerful entity for the sake of helping another living creature. But, that't just my opinion.
Do people actually have a desire to do "wrong?". I feel a little embarassed to admit this, but yeah, We DO have that desire. To every gimini cricket theres gotta be a Mr. Crick, right??? (My horrible attempt at Mr. Hyde reference). But, yeah, though not very often, I sometimes think of what would happen if I decided to act a little out of character. Instead of sitting in a classroom, what would happen if I tipped over my desk with a loud !!! THUD !!! What would happen if I ripped out pages of textbooks instead of reading them like everyone else. What if I just decided to get up and leave the classroom, shutting the door with the force of The Hulk. Each one of those things is wrong, if not just completely out of my character. Yet, each time I choose not to act upon those impulses. Maybe I was raised well, maybe im just smart enough to avoid the consequences, or maybe im just a gosh-darn, nice and happy little kid inside. I don't know, but whatever the case, it makes me feel much better then the few ******bags that wonder those halls.
Pimp, Seducer, and Hustler. No, i don't find any of the above GENUINE at all. Looking at many other "un-classy" people that I've met, Im pretty sure that a few have to have had very "less than happy" experiences that shaped them the way they are. Though I hate those people, I give them some respect, as sometimes I feel that I could have ended up on that very same path. Pimps, Seducers, and Husters, however, do not get that bit of respect. *Quoting "Final Fantasy Retropective Part 4" *-> "He wasn't a puppet to a higher power, or a victim seeking revenge, he was just an awful human being." Now apply that quote to each one of those three characters, and that's just how I feel about that.
Looking back at what I said, it looks like I pretty much was split as to what Greene had said. While I agree with the "evil thoughts in everyone's mind" subject, i did not feel the same on the pimp and crew subject. Looking at which of these two is the more important, Im going to have to say that I agree with Mr. Greene. We all have that little side of dark in us, and I am definately no exception.
I most definately have a dark side, but it is repressed for weeks and weeks on end. For to generate such evil thoughts and actions, something really, really REALLY!!!! bad has to happen to me. I can guarantee that such things do not happen often. However, I cannot be sure just how much darkness I show because I don't know exactly what is means. Is the "dark side" only referring to evil people? what about sad people, tortured minds, and lost souls? I know I can cast off the happy civilization, but talking about the dark side is a bit too broad of a topic. I person can probably write a book, and im sure that somebody already did, about all the darkness of the human world. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go watch "The Office" =)
In Response to Kelly N:
I disagree with you. I believe that the darkness within all of us is interwoven into who we are at conception. The indescribable feeling of jealousy can not be learned from another.
In Response to Jon S:
You deserve a standing ovation. Your blog was so real I can do nothing but admire the craftsmanship that went into carving out the details of the inner workings of Jon S. Just because someone is friendly with you doesn't mean they are friends with you. I agree with everything.
Leonor:
I agree with you. Villains are just trying to show at all times because they want to be noticed. And the problem is that they are. But they are seen as cool or appealing. Which attracts others "to the dark side." Which is really just giving into your fears.
The dark side, everyone has one. If people didn’t the world would be so pink, and pretty. There would be no thrill, no gossip, it would just be prefect and no one wants perfect. There is a dark side in every person where do you think the murders, kidnappers, terrorists, and Gorge W Bush comes from? I would be lying to myself and to everyone else if I didn’t say that it is a part of our human nature. Just like wanting fit in this is also an automatic thing that been programmed into us.
But like Alice said that we a attracted to the bad guy. For example Batman. He is really a selfish bad guy who just wants revenge, and decides to get a car which is like a tank and just drive at like 200 mph down the road trying to kill someone with a rocket.
Pimps, murders, hustlers, are now thought of a cool through intense advertising. They have been portrayed through every aspect of popular culture. There in music videos, movies, shows, etc. But this message attracts children to do these things. Bringing them to the bad side where as Sarah Crane said “the cookies are.”
Its our nature to be attracted to the bad in us but do we really follow through with it? Does everyone given into their dark side? Hell no they don’t or there would be less than half the human population alive, and it be decreasing by the day. We have wanted to do bad things to other people, like push them in front of a truck, reveal their deepest darkest secret online, or push them off of a cliff. However, no one has enough courage inside them to do that. We are evil but we also good. So in a way humans are neutral. We want to do terrible things to people but no one does because we have little thing called a conscience that will torments us forever.
Every person is attracted to the bad side but not many have the guts to go into it. Only Voldermort did and look where it got him. He ended up as a pale guy with no nose trying to kill a teenager (pathetic.) So, many of us know better, we have been taught better, but how will the 10 and 11 year olds know that being a hustler is not the best profession. Because in every movie they see, someone is on drugs, doing something illegal, etc.
Everyone has a dark side, but the question is how do we avoid it? How we others not to give into it and go a killing streak? How do we get the future generation to stop thinking that drugs, hustling, etc. is cool when it is just plain dangerous?
Carly, I love Jess. Just to throw that out there. Besides that, you said:
"I agree with Greene that everyone has a dark side, however minimal people show that side of themselves. Because of that, I feel these people can either go one of two ways. Over time their ‘threatening’ side will come out and bring characters such as villains and murderers, or they will simply keep that darkness internally and it won’t be seen by others."
I think that's so true. Those who don't let the darkness inside of them show, are just hiding it under layers and layers of self-aclaimed sanity. Those who let it show, aren't trying to hide anything. They're not weak because they let the darkness take over them, they just don't feel like hiding it. Every one has impulses, it's just a matter of how much do you care to let them take over you. And I loved your example from Holes, that really does explain how some people just keep their dark side buried in them, until there comes a time when they just can't stand it anymore, something triggers it, and they have to break loose.
BTW Carly, creeper girl isn't here today ! =]]
Jennifer Pilallis!!!
So now we're sitting in Journalism class (w/out the creeper!). I just wanted to tell the world how freggin awesome Jenny is (nah dont like it Martino is wrong!) So Jen is the coolest person ever. Basically shes got it all. ANd in response to her blog, I wanted to say that although I believe you when you say that you have n extremely dark side (unless your telling ando outrageous lie!), I feel that you are too...not nice because I know you wouldnt want me to use that word...but respectful of everything and everyone around you. Although you always tell me about how you feel unfourtunate things are bound and destined to happen to you, I really think that you are going to live your life to the fullest and the way you want to live it. I can see you at college in Hawaii, studing marine bio and treating and caring for all of the aquatic animals you love. You could be a veternarian at Sea World in Florida and also have a rescue shelter for dogs. I wouldnt trust anyone more with the care of homeless and abused animals than you. I thought I cared a lot about animals, but I can see that it's one of your life missions to own every dog in the world, or atleast every german shepard:), and treat it with unconditional love and affection. I'm confident and positive that you are going to live the life that you want and although I know your pessimistic and all, you better believe it too.
Anyway Jen hope you like this comment, I need to get back to writing my "History of Halloween" article so I'll leave it at that. Just dont unleash any on your dark side on me please:P
<3Carlisle
Sarah, I love you, you know that right?
Okay, I donh't really think that I'll be able to really give an indepth discussion on my darker/morbid side. It's just a side that I don't think needs to be talked about outside of my home, and we don't even address it there.
Let's give a brief example of why I don't want to talk about it. I went and asked my mom not to long ago if she thought I was morbid and warped. She paused.
"Do you mean in comparison to John, the rest of the family, or to normal society?" I glared. SHe thought for a few more minutes before saying, "Well, compared to your Aunt Mary, you're pretty normal."
My Aunt Mary had a mental breakdown and is currently still crazy. Yea...
This sucks.
I have a poem that I wrote that may help get across what I mean in my last post:
I fall into the shadows of myself
a dark and hollow void
in the chasiums of my heart.
and I won't be able to finish this because the world sucks (as does my cw teacher! DAMN YOU HOBAN!!)
Hmm...an idea just popped into my head about denunciation. Two words throw it off completely. They are:
Stop Snitchin'
All of those against having others report misdoings actually want to be perfect citizens. Indeed, verily. Wait...what? To them, it is morally fine to fight against the man (revelation: gangsters are actually hippies), even if they don't have a real reason. Yes, to the point where people get attacked for it. If people were attracted to what they view as wrong, gangstas would be frolicking about helping others, and master martial artists would be going around knocking the heads off of random people.
Morality isn't an absolute. It is subjective, changing from person to person. Monsieur Greene may have points, but it's to black and white to be true. You people should have picked that up. Most of you had Costal last year, after all.
Okay, I feel bad, Carly you pretty much boosted my confidence 1 whole point (on a scale of 1-100, it currently stands at a 24 now !), because what you said really did make me feel, important? And all I did was pretty much respond to your blog, so, I'm gonna tell the world how awesome Carl? Carlisle? No, Carly! is. So, Carly, you're a Mullican. That right there makes you 587975 times more cooler than any other person. You play softball, best sport in the world, and to top it off, YOU'RE A BEAST. I have always been jealous, always wanted to reach your level, but that won't happen, because you're CARLY CHAMBERLAIN. There's just no comparison. You ride HORSES! Now, that's just awesome in itself. And you just have one of the best personalities ever ! You know when to be serious, funny, understanding, and a bitchh ! (and of course, being a bitch isn't always a bad thing, it can brighten other people's days when you're a bitch to other people, because it's just funny =] ) SO now that I've realized this comment has nothing to do with the blog except to completely commend you and your awesomeness, I'm done now. And Carly, f'real, WHERE DID OUR BEST FRIEND GO?! she's been gone ALL week !
-PS: my little sister stayed home from school today, and of course she went on my computer ! saved on my computer, however, was my previous blog post, about me being pretty much a pathological liar. And she confronted me about this when I got home, and I guess she didn't read the whole thing, because she still doesn't know that I stole $15 from her..
When I heard about this blog, I went into straight >:) mode and did the infamous MWAHAHHA laugh.
But now I don't know what to write!
I think I'll come back and finish up when its darker outside. >:l
In responce to Alice:
Yeah, for the most part I do agree with you. Humans are not pure like angels (I forget who said that, someone from government). And we most definately have the little impulses that make us want to cause others pain. Also, Im glad to hear that you have moved on and have chosen to not toy around with people's emotions. That sounds like a very scary version of Alice.
Lastly, intresting manga choice, sounds actually some-what interesting. Wonder if its better than Death Note.
Hil, I don't care if Snape was a good guy, I still don't like him.
Harleen, did you really just insult Batman?
Myra, I love you and all, but I'm pretty sure it's sacrilige to damn Mr. Hoban. Nobody tell Rachael.
Sergei, I'm pretty sure the quote went something like, "If men were angels, no government would be needed." Or something like that.
This blog post will be very fun ! :)
Well this is the perfect opportunity to talk about one of the things I love to talk about the most, which are feelings.
So, there this bad boy type that I have to admit in a way I have fallen for. It’s not necessarily that he does bad things, or that he has a louder than life dark side, but the subtle attitude that he has mastered entices me to no end. He has this perfect “I do what I want, no exceptions,” personality that stopped me in my tracks upon meeting him. At first I despised him. Everything little thing about his attitude irked me in a way I cannot describe. Then I saw his true colors, and not just the veneer he so perfectly wears. His true colors were honestly his dark side, his deep, real stand offish, very aggressive (in sports), and challenging nature. Every good girl loves a challenge. I myself have tried to take on many challenges that come my way. Nothing beats trying to get a hold of a bad boy for a challenge. In my realm it’s basically a highlight. It’s like every novel I have ever read, I read this girlie series called Private. In this series your typical good girl goes to a boarding school and meets your typical bad boy. It’s a really great series with all of your compelling teenage drama, but the basic story line is pretty much girl sees boy, girl wants boy, girl tries to change boy. In no way do I want to change this bad boy figure, but in being around him I’m not afraid to be myself, and maybe that is because I feel he’s more genuine than most other people I know. (I happen to agree minorly with Greene) I can tell by his facial expressions exactly what he’s thinking, and I know because he has his own problems that the whole judging thing isn’t an issue. He is the dark side that I want so desperately to let out of myself. That man of complexities that make him almost impossible is the very essence that I know I lack. He is in a word most of the time brutal, never lies to me no matter how much the truth is going to hurt me. That to me is almost a dark side, because when he says things he never holds back. He’s brutal and raw to say the least. Yet, getting to know him and cracking that dark side code has been a great experience for me. It’s like a magnet; his bold and unafraid nature pulls me in because that’s something I long to have under my belt. He can sometimes be demeaning and I usually call him out on it, but that doesn’t change anything. He’s still sometimes a womanizer, and others he’s one of the nicest guys I have ever met. That’s to me the best example I can give, because I’m living it.
-Pimp’s, seducers, hustlers, etc. Well they don’t have the best cause in the world and in no way are they in my mind really great examples for living life, but that have a certain sadness about them. That sadness is one of the only two full, deep, real, sadness’s that can be held by a man. In that way they are genuine because that sadness can be seen without even looking into their souls, all you have to do is look into their eyes. That sadness is pure, and disgusting, but most importantly to me and why I mostly agree with Green is genuine. It’s real in every form, something that not much of us can say we are. They are real and have real issues, and real problems, how many of us can honestly say that have that sadness in their souls and eyes? Exactly why I think they are genuine. (For the record I am not condoning any pimp activity, or seducers or anything like that. Nor, I am I trying to say genuine in a positive connotation.)
-Now, do I have a dark side? Yeah. Do I have a huge desire to do the wrong thing? No, but sometimes I get the need to blow off this or blow off that. For example I have understood the pre-calculus lessons for about a week now, so when I’m feeling overwhelmed or tired I tend to not do that homework. It’s a bad, bad habit. Yet, I do it because I know what’s important for me to get done. Also, I’m a huge schemer. I never use that for bad or evil things, but when I get angry I am more of an ‘I get even not get over things’ person. I know it’s wrong and pretty weird to say but I’m just that kind of person that doesn’t like to be walked over. I can’t deal with people that do things wrong to me, it puts me on high alert. I fully understand that two wrongs don’t make a right, thus I haven’t been as sneaky in the past year and half, but I still have this desire to be a force every once in a while. It’s basically a shield for me. People decorate their shield into make colors, and have different crests and pictures on them. My shield happens to be my defense mechanisms. It like I know I should lie down and take the punch, or just go and talk it out, but my trust in human nature is so low that I normally just want to duke it out with wits. I know just like a shield my mind is sometimes thick enoughthat I can think far enough ahead to see the consequences and if it is worth it or not. There are also people that are completely immune to this, because no matter what they do I love them too much to ever use anything at all against them. I’m sometimes a little devil and sometimes I’m as sweet as pie. I have to say a little part of me likes my dark side. It shows that I’m strong in a way, maybe not the best way. All I’ve ever wanted was to be someone somebody understands, or appreciates. Each time I realize that I’m not appreciated, or think that I’m not good enough to be appreciated a little bit of my good side gets hidden. I just want o be a good person that somebody someday can honestly love, which comes from seeing how happy my parents are, and that person would have to love me dark side and all.
wow! 1,112 words who knew! mattyw i'm catching up :)
To Sergei:
I think that it's better than Death Note personally. But then again, I like seeing what happens when the sadistic people seem almost invincible. It's very satisfying compared to always seeing the good guy win. lol XD
Okay, now for a little venting session...
I was on the 3:30 bus when we got lost and I was giving the directions to the bus driver. I told her the usual route and explained where to turn and such. However, some people on the bus started yelling at me about how I was making her even later for work. I also work, okay, and I was late about 45 minutes. I tried to calm the girl down, but she wouldn't have it, so I ignored her and continued giving instructions. I would've just let it go, but that frickin' piece of sh*t wouldn't stop that frickin' pothole on her ugly face. *Ahem* I'm sorry, but if I finally get to my stop and tell you to continue giving her directions, I don't want to see you open your window and shout profanities at me. "Imma gonna f*ck you up, you f*ckin' b*tch!" Yes, she was as stupid as she sounds. However, unfortunately because I am a nice person, I just looked back and told her to calm down and give the bus driver directions if she wants to get home. While I know that I did the right thing, I just felt like kicking her in the face, punching her in the gut and then elbowing her nose. See, I have a dark side, and I'll admit that, even now, I am screaming profanities at that b*tch in my head and devising ways to make her life living hell, but of course, I will do no such thing.
This then brings up, yet again, why we like villians. Yes, Mr. Greene, it IS because they are more truthful than we are. I'm still beating myself up over what I DIDN'T do on the bus.
El Fin
They picture him as he carries them off into the night with the stars floating above them and peaking from behind dark chocolate clouds, as they are lost on the side of a road but he appears right before them to lead the way, or as he pulls up in his black Ferrari for a midnight drive. He has deep, dark eyes, wears dark clothing, is a person of very few words, mysterious, known to be a dare-devil, and is not afraid to take chances. This person is the very person every girl wishes to be swept away by to be taken on an adventure. Yet, why is it that girls are so attracted to the “bad guy”? What is it that makes him so appealing? The reason for their attraction is simply due to the fact that he is everything they are not. In life, we as humans possess a deep desire to experience everything that can be experienced in life. Although we may portray an orthodox, polite, cautious, and rule-abiding character, each one of us wants to know what it is like to be on the other side. We question what would happen if we simply refused, lied, or let down the barriers guarding our deepest fears. Overall, we question the possibility of change, and what it must feel like to experience the things we have been told not to. Childhood is when we are often known to make the most “mistakes”, or in other words, do things we should not be doing in accordance to society. For example, as children we are told to do well in school, respect those of higher authority, use good manners, and always be willing to help. As we enter the adolescent stage, some of us begin to experiment with these learned characteristics, while others learn as children and choose to maintain the standards of society. By adulthood, we simply choose to abide by these qualities that characterize a “good person”, and see no other reason to challenge them. The few that continue to live outside of the law, suffer the consequences. Although most of us choose to live by the standards of society even into late adulthood, we still question in our minds what it would be like to live the opposite life. Hence, we are certainly drawn to the dark side of human nature and our own potential dark-selves out of curiosity and the desire to acquire experience.
On Tuesday, I can recall walking down the hallway near the main office after band practice, and contemplating what would happen if I simply took my piccolo and threw it at the glass walls separating the office from the hallway. Of course, I did not intend to actually follow through with this action; I just contemplated it. I looked over to my right at the glass walls carefully examining the perfect diamond-shaped figures shaped into the green-tinted glass all perfectly align on the window lining it from top to bottom, left to right. I continued to walk down the hallway, but the processing that was going on in my mind seemed to make everything progress in slow motion. What if I just broke the glass? I imagined the way in which it would break, the way the piccolo would be choked into my hand, the reactions of the people walking around me, and security officers running from their office as I simply stood there with my piccolo in my right hand. In my mind, the entire story was playing out, and slowly, I passed the glass wall so that I was now staring at brick white walls. I then began to think of everything that was holding me back; all of the morals of society that were hanging over me like rusted chains pulling me back and having the power to make me change my mind. The fact that it is not just me being held back, but everyone in existence, allowed me to see the extent to which we are forbidden to go to the ‘opposite side’. We are all being deprived of a whole nother world which we only dare of entering mentally. As a result of this, there is undoubtedly an unmistakable desire in each one of us to do the wrong thing. Even I have a dark side due to the many things I wish I could experience in life, yet, have been told not to.
To say that villainous characters are more genuine than ourselves is an absolute fact. These villains choose to live and experience life in a way that the average individual is far too afraid to do. There is unmistakably a desire in every one of us to try and break a glass wall, or walk into a casino as a minor just to see what it looks like, or simply throw a map or GPS out of a car window and get lost simply to get away from everything. A villain would be willing to do all of those things, but because our consciousness has been formed by societal views, we find ourselves completely incapable of doing so. We are hiding a part of ourselves that wants to take risks, and therefore, we cannot be considered genuine people. For some of us, “the strength of denunciation” does equal “the strength of the attraction”, but only for those that choose to live the life of a risk-taker. Some of us will move closer to the dark side as along as there is someone there telling them that they are wrong. As mentioned before, others will stick to their mental contemplation of the “dark side”. Nevertheless, if we continued to live the rest of our lives relying on nothing but mental contemplation to experience the other side, the experience will be lost. If experience is to be pursued, it is of absolute essentiality that it is pursued completely.
In response to linds c:
“He is the dark side that I want so desperately to let out of myself.” This statement was written very well Lindsey, and it has a lot to do with my own blog. I strongly believe that the reason we covet the dark side is because it is composes everything we are not, and we are led by curiosity to discover more about this dark side. Also, the relationship you share with this anonymous person is definitely a good experience for anyone because the dark side needs to be experienced. In fact, in life, one should try to experience all of the opportunities they are met with, or else we are not truly living our lives to the fullest. I am very glad that you are one of the people in this world attempting to live life to the fullest and experience what the “dark side” is like. Personally, I believe it can greatly benefit oneself in the future because of the wisdom it offers to the individual.
I agree with Greene to a certain extent. The attraction some seem to have for the “bad-asses” comes straight from the fact that we are a race of organisms that love to test out the limits of things.
Laws, ourselves, other people, you name it; we love to see how far we can go. The bad-asses manifest that “push it to the limit” persona. Why do some dumb students argue with teachers when they get called out on doing something wrong? To look cool. There’s no other reason for it. Some are attracted to these posers because they step over the line and spit on it. Is it a revealing detail of the weakness of the human mind? Yes.
However, I disagree with Greene on pretty much every other point. Not everyone’s dark side is a spirit trying to do all the wrong things. No, each individual’s dark side (such a bad connotation...ugh) is unique. Some people’s alternate persona maybe something that goes against everything they stand for, telling them to eat babies and run over grandmothers. I’m not one of those people. My “dark” side (I hate the title) isn’t someone who hurts others for my own benefit (physically or mentally). I like to help out people; it’s always been my nature. It doesn’t tell me to rape, maim, or hurt others. It’s not the polar opposite of me (would that be an angry, white, fat guy with a machete?), but I think more of a continuation of my personality, even though it’s a hell of a lot more mysterious and enigmatic.
Before I get into what it is, you have to understand that most of what I do is attempted at keeping that “dark” side of me silent, or trying to understand it better. Let me tell you, it’s a tough job. Most of what I do, whether it’d be watching football, reading, playing guitar, or listening to music, is all aimed at keeping my alternate persona quiet. Mere distractions, if you will. Especially music. Now, if you know me, I love my music. My life is pretty much centered on it. Music is, and has always been more than just notes and words to me. It’s something a lot more beautiful and enchanting, almost at a spiritual level. Basically, it allows me to keep my alternate persona quiet.
No, my “dark” side (alternate persona is a better term) constantly beleaguers me with the notion that I’m missing something in life. We ALL are missing something in life. Every single one of us. What we see isn’t so much of a reality as it is a fake perception of reality (and no, this isn’t a bad Matrix reference). It’s this droning thought, this nagging and constant reminder that every single person on the Earth is missing the big picture. Missing the true meaning to existence and life itself. The beauty and reality of the real truth. Then I get the feeling that I don’t belong at all in this world, and that somehow, all the burdens and troubles of the world landed on my shoulders. Then there's that constant reminder that everything I’m doing up to this point isn’t what I should be doing. It’s a really, really, really heavy feeling to live with. Imagine a loud voice yelling at you all the time screaming “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT!” It sucks. My Winamp came up to "Determined" by Mudvayne. This line pierced my ears like a needle;
“I'm tired of holdin' up the weight,
the weight of the motherfuckin' world.”
It sometimes bears down on me to the point where my head physically starts to hurt. It’s annoying as hell, but I’ve dealt with since I was a little kid. I hate it and love it at the same time. I hate it because, once again, it sometimes manifests itself physically, and my head hurts like hell at times. I tend to think a lot about subjects that drive a lot of people crazy. I question everything I see, and don’t’ believe it unless I have a reason to. I think that’s where my stubbornness comes from I love it as well because it gives me a rather odd outlook on life itself. I feel that it allows me to connect to people, and be a lot more empathetic.
It also explains why I'm always "out" of it.
I probably lost 98 percent of you readers by now. Most of you think I’m on a bad acid trip, or am attempting to do a crack poor attempt at sounding smart or wise. I implore you, I’m not. I’ve always felt this way as long as I can remember. I apologize that I can’t be any clearer about it, it probably sounds like a bunch of garbage from your perspective. I mean, it doesn’t make much sense to me (yet). I know I probably strayed from the topic a bit, but yeah.
My biggest fear in life isn’t whether I have a big house, become successful, end up having a hot wife who can cook me cheesesteaks (she also has to be a Bears fan. I know, I’m picky), or whether I’m remembered after I die. Because honestly, I could care less about any of that. No, my biggest fear is not being able to figure out what my “dark” side means and wants. The fear that I’ll never find answers to the questions I’ve been asking since I was a child. That’s why I do the things I do. That’s why other people do the things they do. It’s all a giant scheme to understand themselves and the world better, whether they realize it or not.
So sorry for this convoluted mess.
Jon; That’s exactly why I value you as a friend. You have this uncanny ability to put your thoughts into words. Trust me, I’m extremely envious. I really appreciate you writing that down, because it gives me hope that one day, I can get my thoughts down better. I’m not going to go say I’ve done what you have, because that’s some deep and crazy shit. But I think we’re both on the same boat in a weird way. Disagree with me if you want, it’ll probably blow into a 4 hour debate.
Jen; You brought up one of my favorite points.
“I think too much for my own good. I’d rather “waste” my time thinking, than being productive in society or as an individual.”
It really hit home, because quite frankly, I agree with that on all levels. Society has gotten to the point where it’s become a rat race of living, working, raising families, and dying. I want my life to be a lot more than that.
Hil; I loved the line;
“Well, honestly, I was tired of doing the right thing. I had a weak moment. I gave in. All of these were reasons why. And you know what? I don't regret it at all because it was a learning experience.”
Looking back, I wasn’t mad at you after what you did. Tad disappointed, but you’re the same sexy Hilary Rosenberg. And I love the fact that it was a learning experience for you. I’ve done some questionable things in the past, and I’ve learned from it as well. It’s this ability that matures us, and changes the way we act and think. Temptation is alluring, but it’s never a mistake unless you refuse to fix it. Thanks for that, it made me look at myself differently.
I leave you with the wise words of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury;
"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about."
There are two sides to everybody. No matter how nice they may seem, every single person has a side that is not always seen by the general public. This goes for villains and ne’er-do-wells as my mom always refers to them as. I mean even Al Capone had a nice side. People could walk down mugged. Al Capone was even the guy who started putting expiration dates on milk because he was tired of people getting sick from it. Anyways the point I am trying to make is that there are two sides to every coin.
We all, I’m sure, have done things in the past that we regret, things that, when you looked back at the incident you wished you had not done it. This is a natural human occurrence. However there are those who do things they know will not end up well yet continue to do the act anyways. This is a main difference between your normal everyday person and villains and criminals. The more you act a certain way, the more likely you are to continue to act this way. For example, if you were down on your luck, out of money, and mugged an old lady to get some money you probably will realize, this is a fairly easy act. So you continue to rob old defenseless ladies to help yourself get back on the street. Practice makes perfect. If you act a certain way and surround yourself with people who act similarly, it will be harder to change your habits. However this works both ways, it is not solely negative. If you surround yourself with people who are well behaved and act in ways that help out society you are more likely to do good deeds on your own time, the pull to do go becomes greater. So I do feel as though Greene was correct in his thoughts about good versus bad.
With that being said I also have two sides, there is the side of me that all of you see every day, and the side few know me by. Typically during school I am quiet and well reserved, I tend to keep my thoughts to myself and sit back and take in what others have to say. I prefer to listen to others to learn more about them and learn about their habits. But on the other side of the spectrum, there is a side that most of you may never see. When I am not being well reserved Ben Campbell I can be quite an asshole. Those who know me better know that I can be very judgmental towards other and at times very open about it. When I am in this state of mind I do not really consider others feelings and often do not care. While yes I know this is a terrible state of mind to have when I am in that state of mind I just don’t care.
Everyone loves a good mind-enthralling mystery. Something that causes your blood to rush beneath your skin and tickles that part of your dangerous side back to life. Mystery is what leads us to be really interested in anything. The dark side is always forbidden by society, which makes it a mystery to most of us “do-gooders”. So as for Mr. Greene, I can see what he means about the dark side being particularly alluring to humans. We often stay on our side of things, minding our own business, but every once in a while, a message from the other side will be carried through to us and we will be tempted to scale and leap the fence. Some of us are able to resist, while others are not? Why is this? I think it all has to do with the environment of people mixed with the deeper moral values that they are not willing to give up just yet. It is about pushing a person down to their lowest point and backing them into a corner. This is when their true character and ability to suppress their dark side are tested. This is where the genuine person, contrary to Mr. Greene’s beliefs, will choose any other means than the one of submissive behavior. It is always easier to give in to the wrong thing. That’s why in history, those who have stood up to immoral behavior have been so highly regarded. Those who were the epitome of evil were made an example of so that no further generations would ever want to follow them. Yet, we still inquire into the minds of these people who have let their dark side bubble to the surface.
I think that the thirst for danger and mystery, however buried it may be within a person, fits under the category of one’s “dark side”. The deeper it is buried, the harder it will be for the temptation to penetrate the person. Once this happens, it creates a completely different person because they have had a taste of the other side. I think the saying “you don’t know what you’re missing if you haven’t yet experienced it” fits for this type of situation. The more often you let yourself be deluged with darkness, the more often you will want to go back and visit that place. That is what happens to truly dark people. They just move to the dark side of town and never return home. No one starts out with a dark side. I believe it is an acquired taste. For those that have fallen victim to the dark side of themselves, a permanent homecoming to the light side is very hard to manage. Although, all this being said, it is all up to speculation what can really be considered a dark deed. Killing, stealing, and the other ten-commandment-like actions in society all deal with awful things a person can do. We all know these things are bad, but it’s the little things that a person can give into that can truly make them dark as well.
Enough with the Star-Wars-Darth-Vadery explanation of the dark side. I’m beginning to worry myself about how deep I’m getting into this.. Haha
Do I have a dark side? I feel like I have given into temptation a few times and forgot about the possible consequences of my actions momentarily. But this “momentarily” is later paired with regret and disappointment in myself. Therefore, I can’t say my dark side is a completely opaque bottomless pit. I am able to visit there and then come back home before curfew. I often find myself rattling off bits of sarcastic comments to someone or actually speaking the completely uncensored things that I think in my head. I have come to realize that only a certain few people will trigger this reaction from me. It’s something I have to deal with, but I still wouldn’t consider it a dark side. It would be better labeled as an occasional slip of tongue. My dark side is not that I think of evil things to do when no one will expect it or that I secretly want to whack off a few people. It has more to do with the fact that most of the time, I’m actually very quiet and rarely express what’s really going through my mind. I’m more of an observer. But if I have to pick a darker personality trait about myself, it would have to be the side of me that comes out when the inside of me can’t stay inside anymore. People that really know me understand what I’m talking about. It’s the part of me that I have the hardest time controlling. My mouth. It can happen at random times. It’s not like I’m constantly thinking mean things about people. It’s quite the contrary (Like the fact that someone finally brought up how amazingly adorable and well matched Ms. Bunje’s shoes are every day. I have been looking at them since the beginning of school but always forget to say something. I swear I’m not even trying to ass kiss haha:]). But when someone does something that particularly pisses me off, I’m going to tell them. And I’ll tell them in a very eloquent way exactly what it is that I hate they are doing. This comes across as bitchy or having an attitude problem. I guess in a way it is, but I have a low tolerance for bull shit. I usually don’t back down until I’m satisfied with the stunned look on their face or I’m punished in some way because I have challenged authority. I can’t really think of anything else in particular that could be considered a dark side of me. Maybe that I can get a little aggressive sometimes. But all in all, I think that everyone has their own personal traits they feel bring them closer to the dark side.
Hilary-
“Darkness is in the world, not people. The "bad guy" is the one who decides to let it in. They are cowardly and can't stand up to a fight against the wrong thing.”
We often use the excuse “the world made me do it” for when we do wrong. But you’re right, the coward who let the crazy mixed up world influence his decisions needs to at least take responsibility for his actions. It’s possible to be redeemed and do better, but it’s a slippery slope once you start down that direction.
Ivan-
“We cannot accept every part of ourselves, and end up labeling traits that we view as either positive or negative. These labels exist due to our inability to see the complexities of characters, much less human beings.”
This is really insightful. I agree that what we can’t accept about ourselves ends up getting labeled as bad. Humans are very intricate. There are so so many questions that we are still unable to answer about ourselves. This scares us. We can walk on the moon, but we can’t be 100% sure why we are apt to lean towards doing the wrong thing even though we know we shouldn’t. It’s really interesting, and I like they way you said it.
Alice, but would punching that girl really be called a dark side? Maybe so, but even if you just told that rude chick to back the hell off, would that also be known as bad? I guess my major malfunction is that what some of you guys (not just Alice) thinks as dark, I think as sticking up for myself, and in no way a "bad" action. It just might have taught that dumb jerk a lesson, that she can't just go around cursing out people with no repercussions. If she doesn't learn that lesson soon (for I've met plenty of people like this, believe me; or do I just bring out the worst in people? Something to consider) than that girl is going to bite off more than she can chew.
Me personally, I think I would have calmly flipped her off, and come whatever may, I would not for one second consider that anything about my conduct was "bad" or "wrong".
Is this just me? Honestly, if anybody else feels this way, I want you to acknowledge it, and put it out into the blogosphere.
We could do a vote!
I definitely have a “dark side”. I think that everyone has one—even if they choose to deny it…it is there alright. What do you think when you see someone acting on anger? Hateful words and causing physical pain to others would definitely be categorized as the “dark side” coming out in a person. Like the seven deadly sins, they relate to this.
I don’t want to make myself look bad, but I guess for the sake of the assignment, I will tell about my “dark side”. So when I used to be best friends with this girl named Alicia, she told me that she liked this boy named Karan (Kehr-an). I was upset to hear this, although I had a boyfriend at the time. Karan was one of my very good friends and I did not want to see him with anyone, let alone her. In my eyes, Karan was my property- off limits to anyone and everyone. I was especially mad because Alicia liked a new boy every week, and so I decided that she didn’t deserve to have my Karan. As a result, I went to Karan and told him never to go out with her because…___. What didn’t I say? I just made up as many lies as I could. In the end, he thanked me for warning him and never went out with her.
This was a very stupid and immature move. One could say that this was me showing my “dark side”. Yes, I know it is wrong now. This is the thing about the “dark side”, it’s all about management. If you realize the mistake being made and are able to correct that, then this determines the severity of your “dark side”.
With that being said, the next few days I pondered over what I had done to my two good friends. I had lied to one, and stabbed the other in the back. After a while, I decided that although Alicia and Karan would never find out how I had deceived them, I had to tell them about my deed. I needed to clear my conscience. I told Karan first. I told him that I didn’t think that any of that was the truth and I apologized. He immediately forgave me =). Next was the hard part. It took a long time, but finally got up enough courage to tell Alicia. Alicia was upset, but within a few weeks I gained her trust back.
In this sense, I do not agree with Greene too much. We are not drawn to villains like the pimp, the seducer, or the hustler. How could these figures be truly genuine in their own lies and schemes? Hustlers lie every day, pimps lie every second, and seducers just scheme. No one person is truly all pure. We all have the potential to be villainous; it just depends on one person’s ability to manage that “hidden potential”.
Our dark side is the fearless side:
Batman’s arch-nemesis the Joker played by the notorious Heath Ledger is the greasiest recent villain to me. A few more that come to mind that may not be recent are Michael Myers (The Halloween series), Darth Vader (Star Wars),
Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs), and Leatherface (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre). We are drawn to all of these villains because to us their dark sides are something that we will never be (Or at least I hope not!).
When I do the wrong thing it is because I am human and I make mistakes. I never once “desired” to do the wrong thing, it just happens. We are humans and as it is well-known, we make mistakes; it is what we are born to do. We make the mistakes, we learn from them, and sometimes inevitability we repeat them.
My dark side on the other hand does not “desire” to do the wrong thing because my dark side merely does the wrong thing. It is the Meagan who does not care what others think, the Meagan who will not take shit from anyone, and the Meagan who speaks her mind. My dark side is all of my faults that show vibrantly within my soul. It is the side of me that loves to just get lost in my own thoughts and not have a care in the world. Most importantly, my dark side is all of the passion and anger that I have built up towards everything! Or at least this is my envision of a dark side because I can say that my dark side has never truly been seen by anyone but myself which is what makes it my dark side. I have not found myself yet and I always feel like my opinions are based off of what I have learned or off of society. My dark side is simply the real me that I cannot be. I believe that the dark side of us does the wrong thing because it is what we deeply desire to do, yet because of fear we don’t do the wrong thing.
We find the lives of polar opposites interesting and mysterious. To us, the pimp, villain, and seducer are a dark side, but I completely disagree when Robert Greene makes the contradictory statement, “They recognize their dark side and rather than try to hide it or deny it completely, they act on it.” I think that everyone has a dark side even the pimp, villain, and seducer. Their dark side is unimaginable to us because of who they are already. Just because they are already dark that does not mean that it does not get any darker for them.
I do agree with Mr. Greene, to a certain extent, but there are some pieces of his theory that I feel should be expanded upon.
Personally, I don't think that the darkness in a person can be classified as just a certain facet of one's personality. I don't buy into this whole "dark side vs. light side" concept. I find it really important to stress that I don't have a dark side. I just have... me, and I suspect that this is the case for others, as well. Darkness, or evil, or hatred, or jealousy, or however you wish to classify it, is woven into every aspect of my life, and I'll be damned if this isn't true for almost everyone.
I have a love/hate relationship with the world. I feel like my childhood has been stolen from me, like I have been cursed with an awareness and a discomfort for the way things are. I don't agree with where our society is going, and I would love more than anything to see all our rules go up in flames. I'm plagued with the desire to change things I know that I can't, but the tenacity to attempt to make a difference anyways. I've only allowed myself cynicism rather than hope, and I'm distrusting of humanity. I'm blessed with the strength to disregard my critics, but condemned with the weakness of a low self-esteem. I often find myself consumed with hatred for the world I live in, and I feel morally obligated to change it for the betterment of all.
On the other hand, however, I love and admire those who either don't or don't care to know about the things that trouble our world. I envy and respect the happy and smiling faces that greet me every morning, though it may all be a facade. I desire more than anything the ability to be aloof to the things that don't directly affect me, and to accept things as they are rather than strive to change them. I always feel like an outsider, peering in a window, at my peers and elders, who aren't troubled the way I am.
I can't even begin to tell you how many nights I've been robbed of sleep, tossing and turning as my mind races with thoughts of opression and conformity. My identity is the only thing I have left, and I soon fear that it, too, will be taken from me. There are no words to describe how what I would give for the power to change things to my liking. It consumes me- there isn't a passing second in wich I don't wish I could change the way things were. Every fiber in my body feels obligated and drawn to the concepts of change, of freedom, and of justice which I wish to uphold. I would die for my beliefs, without hopes of becoming of matyr or recieving any recognition for my sacrifice. I would do it for the betterment of the world, and for what I believe is right.
Even as I write this now, I feel the omimous cloud of doubt forming over my head, because I know that what I wish to do, what I wish to change, and to uphold, is near impossible. There aren't just enough people in the world who care about humanity, about freedom and justice and individuality. That makes me incredibly sad, and in time, my sadness becomes cynicism, and then anger, and then hatred for the ignorance of those around me. I can't escape it.
It's incredibly depressing to think that you'll die alone, but I know that this will be true for me. I have so much hate for humanity, and for myself, that I cannot forsee myself overcoming my distrust for people in order to become close enough to someone to spend the rest of my life with them. I hate it, and maybe, someday, this will change, but as of right now, I plan on living a life of solitude.
There have been times, when, this incredible burden has become to heavy for my to handle, and I wish to rid myself from it. There have been days when I hope that I get hit by a car, or that a drive by shooting puts a bullet in my brain, or that I am met with some equally fatal happenstance. At these times, death seems the easy way out, and I wish nothing more than to cease to exist. I know, however, that now would be quite unfortunate, and I live to see another day. ANother day, filled with anger, hatred, fear, concern, apprehension, but, most importantly, a smiling face, which usually does a good job of disguising my inner turmoil.
This is my life.
I've always been drawn to the darker characters in literature and various media. I find them intriguing, and I relate to their tortured view on life. Like them, I struggle between doing what I think should be done and being condemned, or conforming to society, and being accepted. Also, I feel connected to their innate desire to inflict pain upon others. I'm not talking about killing a mass amount of people just for the hell of it, because I, in no way, shape, or form, am capable of such a thing, but rather taken from others what I felt has been stolen from me. I want more than anything for people to feel the unsleeping awareness and hatred I have for the world around us. I want people to recognize that the things we take for granted are being slowly taken away. I want people to appreciate the concept of individuality that is often preached but rarely practiced. But, more than anything else, I wish to be understood. I don't want to be condemned, or belittled because I take so many things that shouldn't matter to me so seriously. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to have someone to work and fight with. I want someone to talk to, an active participant in my quest to preserve our individuality. I'm sick of feeling useless, like everything I wish to do with my life is for nothing. I'm done with feeling left out, and feeling like I've been cheated and stolen from.
But still, as I write, gloom settles upon me, because I know that nothing will ever change. I'll be alone, fighting still, till the day I die. I'll never stop, until this "darkness", this madness and need for change and desire for freedom and the right to truly be an individual, has spread through the world. Call me crazy, call me sadistic, call me an anarchist, or call me dark. Say I'm a combination of all of them, for all I care. To everyone that's told me I have a dark side, or that a piece of me is in the wrong place, or that somethings not right with me, you're wrong. I'm nothing, except me.
Hee hee. This'll be fun.
But, to start out, no. I do not think we are drawn to the pimp, the hustler, and the seducer. At the very least, I am not. Those are small-time. I have a great respect for the master criminals. My prime example of this respect is the Zodiac. A man who can not only commit acts most of us would find atrocious, but also sent notes, phone calls, and ciphers, (only one of which has ever been broken), to the police, use nothing to conceal his identity but an executioner's mask, Aviator sunglasses, and glue on his fingertips. That, to me, is an example of someone deserving of respect.
Notice, however, that I did not say his example should be followed. It takes a disturbed person to do stuff like that, and I don't deny it. I do not idolize the dark side, but I do idolize cleverness. And this is impossible to find among the dregs of society Greene talks about. Conniving, scheming, throwing a monkey wrench in the works, it all involves intense planning. It takes intelligence, something the world these days seems to be in short supply of. Greene, when he says we are attracted to these seducers, pimps, hustlers, is basically saying we're attracted to the fringes of society. That these people hold a romanticized role because of them listening to the urges that we are trained to ignore. They are 'romanticized' for being stupid enough to think that their base urges will do anything for them. Thuggish impulses deserve no respect because they hold no planning, no forethought, only thinking to whatever will be easiest. Our subconsciouses are lazy and simple. They are easily satisfied, and have no plan.
Example, in National Treasure, Benjamin Gates, with his complex plan, everything planned for, everything planned out so that he could get in, steal the Declaration of freakin independence, and get out, almost without getting caught. As opposed to that is the other guys, (I forget their names) who tasered a guard, blew off a lock, and generally just thugged their way in. Thuggishness, that lack of planning and unleashing of violence, may be more 'genuine' because it's more in keeping with our selfish subconscious desires. This behavior, however, is also more idiotic. Any idiot can throw a punch. Any idiot can bomb a school, any idiot can sell drugs, can do drugs. Any idiot can be the thugs from National Treasure. It takes skill to connive, to taunt the police, to get people to agree with you without fear. It takes intellect to be a Ben (Gates or Franklin. I'm not picky). It takes planning and effort. Thugs, 'genuine' as they may be, they are undeserving of anything but contempt for taking the easy way out.
Do I have a dark side? Yep. Do I listen to it? Nope. I enjoy causing chaos, but anything deserving of attention, such as the acts of such people as the Zodiac and Orson Welles, requires intensive planning. Being a thug lets you die in obscurity. Not a fun plan. Doing something considered 'bad,' such as Welles' infamous Halloween broadcast, requires intensive repression of the malicious impulse. Being a jerk, not cool. So, I don't do it. Causing chaos, yes. I don't listen to the dark side, because it never pays. It only complicates matters, throws a monkey wrench into intricate plans. Following a dark side impulsively is just... Stupid.
In response to kelly n:
I completely agreed with you when you wrote, "I don’t think anyone is born with a dark side. However, as a person grows up, their “dark” side begins to develop." I am also a strong believer that everyone has a good and bad side and it's your choice to determine which side you want to live by. I also agree that those with less fortunate starting points are at a disadvantage, however they still, and will always have a choice of which way they want to live. You supported these statements with good details and examples. Well done :)!
Oh, and before everyone starts screaming 'Teen Center' because of the Zodiac stuff, remember, I condemn what he did, but the way he went about it deserves some props. Perfection takes work, and perfect crimes are no exception. Real perfection deserves respect. I'm not a sociopath. Pinky swear.
Our world survives off media and reports of people crimes and misfortunes. Mr. Greene and I have the same thought about people leaning towards the dark side. As he said people all have a dark side but there are a few who hide it while others just let it out. Human nature is to take survive no matter what so violence can be a huge factor. I think Allison words it perfectly, “Survival of the fittest.” That’s what we are and for some their violent nature comes out when it is necessary. I think people who hide their dark natures look up to those who can say what they want, do what they want, and many envy them for that. Hustlers, seducers, and thugs who were once categorized as “villains” are now seen as influential people. They inspire cultures and are looked up to by many teens.
Sara C explains it exactly how I would by saying, “Everybody has a dark side to their nature.” I believe I have a dark side, I mean come on we all do! The dark sides are when we think about suicide, spread gossip, and can be as little as cheating. People who can’t control their dark side go as far as murdering or robbing. It is natural to have a dark side, it is how you express it that changes the way people will except it.
I have a “small” dark side, I normally don’t show my thoughts so yeah I do envy those who say whatever feels right. I know when my mom yells I want to tell her many things (that I can’t say on here) but the fact that it will hurt her I don’t. I mostly hide my dark side until it is appropriate to let out some steam. I believe some “villains” are more genuine then me but when you think about it, dark side or not I don’t tend to think about killing people. It is portrayed in movies as well as real life that good guys are attracted to ‘bad guys’. In typical movies a girl falls for a bad boy or vice versa. The main reasons children or teens join gangs is to be respected and considered ‘tough’. This is a perfect example of how people look up to people who let their dark sides show. Teens want to be like hustlers and sellers instead of trying to do right. They don’t see what they do as bad because it is presented in a good way. (Making money for example)
Alice- WOAH THERE GIRL! Who knew that sweet ole Alice had a dark side?! Well, I have to say, I was quite surprised and amused by what you wrote. I never knew that you felt this way! I also loved your story about Earl-- he seems pretty hardcore. I'm interestind in what book or anime thing that's from, so be prepared to hear from me tommorow in Spanish. :)
Great blog, girl! :D
”Cause MC's have used up extended warranties While real MC's and DJ's are a minority But right about now, I use my authority Cause I'm like the Wizard and you look lost like Dorothy”
(By the by, I quote whatever song I’m listening to at the time. It’s simply to set the mood for my post.)
Ok here’s a quick one while my ramen cools…
Bunje:
While my posts on this blogs are lacking of any revelations, it was not these posts that I was referring to. You see, there are people that read these, so of course people are going to react, or whatever it was I said (I’m typing this without internet since my mom took it away). I do, however, have revelations and epiphanies. They come from long sessions of thought (I used to think I was gonna be a philosopher.) The reason people will never be affected by my ideas, or by my intense realizations (which I arrogantly call revelations), is because they are not easily accessible. Why don’t I just put them out in the open? Because I just don’t think most people can or want to wrap their minds around this sort of stuff. Most of them I just type about and forget about. Some of the more important ones I record to voice files, so intonation and whatnot is more apparent.
To sum it up: Bunje, you were right (of course), and I was wrong. That happens all the time to me, and I am not afraid to admit it, for from every wrong comes more knowledge.
Alice:
Don’t apologize for expressing your inner feelings. You say you look up to me, so heed this advice. The First Ammendment was not established to protect the weak of heart. It’s there to defend those whose opinions start controversy. Fear not the repercussions of your truths, but the guilt of your lies. I hate to sound conceited, but I’d like to think I say what I mean and I mean what I say. The disgruntled recipients of my words are far from my cerebrum while I’m slinging guns of controversy. Just think about that the next time you start to type “sorry.”
Jani:
Your stuff is always just short of what I know you're going for, and I think I know why: you sound too factual, stoic, or whatever you want to call it. You sound like a doctor diagnosing something. While everyone respects you for it and of course sees you know what you're talking about, it's just hard to get that "you just blew my mind feeling." Note that I don't claim to be even close to that effect, either. Cheers!
Everyone:
There are rumors going around that Jon Scheaffer has suddenly become suicidal. That is completely false. Jon Scheaffer has been suicidal since the age of ten, and is currently being treated for depression by a licensed psychologist, so go on and get back to worrying about getting your reading logs in on time. (hahaha third person).
While it is true I’ve recently halted any attempts of succeeding academically, that does not mean any of you have an excuse to slack off on your work. My failures are not yours, you still have a chance. It’s just taken me this long to realize that you are my superiors. Me? I’m just one of those angel-headed hipsters looking for a fix. Forget about me. Believe me, it’s not that hard.
Oh, and if you honestly care about me, I’m thinking about starting up a little Jon Scheaffer autobiography on my blog, Hot Lava Skinny Dipping, though I doubt I’ll ever get around to it. Just be a pal and comment one of my poems. I can’t promise I’ll love you forever, but I can try.
”I'm filling up inside
like i need to open wide
and pour my heart out to you
but i'll just get denied
and all i want is someone to hear what i'm going through...”
A dark side. That is an interesting way to put it. It definetly makes someone sound like some sort of super hero or villain. But yes, of course, I think everyone has a dark side though some I think are more depressing and twisted than others. This question poses a lot of deep thinking. A dark side. Hmm what does that entail? Visions of murder, suicide, and other various harsh crimes flash through my head. Or is it wishing bad fortune on others? There are a lot of words and ideas I can think of that go with the a “dark side”.
I know I have never, ever had the thought of suicide. Yeah I have said jokingly that I was going to kill myself due to like a massive amount of homework or busy schedule, but have never meant it. I think that life is just too good to go waste it. There is nothing terrible that is wrong with my life. Everyone has those insignificant little things like quarrels with friends or break ups, but in the long run they don’t matter at all. Life is good. I am healthy, have great friends and family, and am at the prime of my high school career.
BUT even with all that nonsense, I think I still have a “dark side”. It might not be as malicious as a serial killer or axe murderer. Or as conniving and deceitful as a pimp or hustler, but nevertheless it think it could be considered a dark side. I have a problem of wishing ill on others who have ticked me off in a certain way. For example (not to use the ex again but….) when me and my ex broke up I was so completely pissed off and upset that I wished everything bad I could think of would happen to him. I hoped he would somehow get some rare disease that caused him to be seriously ill or even get hit by a car. It was just a way to try and vent anger I guess? I don’t even know. I was just pretty pissed off at how stupid he can be and how he deserved to be maimed. I guess I am still trying to get over this guy, but its whatever! Ms. Bunje knows about that other crush I have. Thanks for the embarrassment, Bunje :P! But anyways, I have never had the rush to commit a serious offense, though occasionally I have gotten that badass streak and have stolen like dumb stuff with some friends. Sometimes just doing something considered “bad” is just a stress relief. I am normally not a bad kid at all, so doing something like that is almost exhilarating.
I hope this is answering the question, but back to Greene, like I kind of know where he is coming from but I disagree. So this morning on the bus this kid just straight up called me “fake”. Out of the blue just looked at me and was like “Morgan, you are so fake.” Like where does that come from, honestly? I really personally don’t think I am fake at all, I actually think I am a genuine person. So I don’t think that hustlers, pimps, thieves, murderers, etc. are more genuine people. I think they try to live up to the reputation of being a legit “badass”. They do things to be classified in that way. People who are hustlers want to keep up their rep and create this “dark” persona so people think of them in a criminal way. I don’t think a man would actually up in the morning and be like “I feel like stalking and stabbing some girl tonight.” Like that just doesn’t seem likely, I think people do those kinds of crimes on impulse. I am not drawn to characters like that at all. They make me sick. I want to know what twisted chromosome or gene makes them be so malignant. I believe that almost everyone has a good side to them, as well as a dark side. Like I said earlier the range of the dark side may differ from mild to completely disturbed, but I think that everyone does have good in them as well. Just because they act evil and dangerous it does not make them a more genuine person than, for example, me. I just choose to act out in a friendlier, happy manner.
So, Erik I really liked your blog, I thought it was really pretty insightful and thought provoking. My favorite part was “They don’t recognize their dark side and act upon it because it is easier than resisting it; they recognize their dark side and act upon it because it is who they are. It would be more difficult for them to recognize their bright side and act upon that, because it is alien to them.” I was trying to verbalize that same thought and idea as well but I couldn’t find the words and you said it pretty perfectly. It is like that is what those kids and people grew up around so it just comes out in their behavior. Like you, I was kind of dumbfounded after reading Jon S’s blog so I was unsure of what to write about to.
Dan-
once again i feel completely compelled to comment on your blog.
you made such an amazing point here that i was trying to get across in my own blog.
It takes a disturbed person to do stuff like that, and I don't deny it. I do not idolize the dark side, but I do idolize cleverness. And this is impossible to find among the dregs of society Greene talks about. Conniving, scheming, throwing a monkey wrench in the works, it all involves intense planning. It takes intelligence, something the world these days seems to be in short supply of.
i was so impressed with this, beyond reason. Respect is the right word, no doubt about it. Your entire blog was filled with things i could completely agree with and link to this situation. National Treasure is a great reference. It really does fit this, Ben Gate is good, and the other guy is evil. Yet, they both have a common goal i would to point out. Although i agree that the dark side never pays, i think maybe you might be playing the dark side wrong then. I've had success with my interpretation of my dark side, yet i don't know if it was anything but satisfying. I have to say that i do go to my dark side impulsively, something i'm trying to stop. It isn't stupid, but it depends on the situation. Impulsiveness can sometimes be good.
Oh, and if we're talking about the Dark Side, I can't resist a Star Wars reference. Passion, agression, fear, are all base instincts. They also are the code of the Sith. As Yoda so wisely said, "Beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will." Even Yoda agrees with me. It's easy to be mean. The Jedi path is not an easy one.
When I came to this blog, I had an idea of what I wanted to say, but when I read Mae’s blog, my mind was rattled. Mae said that darkness is woven into every aspect of our lives, and I couldn’t agree more. I do think that as people we are all born with a ‘dark side’ within us. It is who humans are. We fight to be the greatest, and we won’t be bothered to hurt people on the way. Look in the media, the negative commercials during the election, and the secrets that people leak of others to sabotage their reputation; it’s what people do. This dark side that I talk about shouldn’t be defined as ‘evil.’ Everyone has a dark side, but not all people are evil. The evil people are the ones that intentionally hurt other, the ones that don’t hold back their damaging thoughts. The dark side in every one of us can turn into evil, if you don’t know how to control it. Admit it; we all think the mean thoughts about our peers, wishing that they could slip up once, so we can get ahead. We live in a dog eat dog world, you need to fight to get to where you want to be. And being nice and innocent won’t get you anywhere; you will be that person that everyone uses to get ahead, the scapegoat in their actions.
As for being drawn to the villainous characters, I think that is 100% true. For a long time, I have always been that ‘perfect student,’ the girl who did all her homework, and never betrayed her parents. And that wasn’t who I truly was; I put up that façade to please everyone else. I am not that girl anymore, although she is still there, just not as prominent. I found out my dark side, and honestly, life is more fun that way. Because no one can argue that the feeling you get when sneaking into your house, your stomach churning, your heart running, isn’t amazing. Everyone is attracted to the villain inside of them. The rush of defying everyone who has set standards for you, telling you who to be, is addicting. You see it everyone. When you come to school on Monday, you hear the stories, and you see the devilish smile on their face as they tell it.
I don’t think that the villains are more genuine. Because everyone hides their feelings someway to be more comfortable with who they are. The punk kids that think they can rule the world are not being genuine. They are putting up the veneer to allow people to think that everything is ok. But it’s not, because deep down, everyone has their own set of problems. I think the people that are truly genuine are the ones that know how to balance their dark side and the nice side. There are times when I just want to explode, release the emotions that I have been feeling. Obviously, I haven’t found that balance. As my friends know, I can be a bitch. If you piss me off, or say something about me or my friends, I will destroy you behind your back. That everyone is my dark side. I am in the process of controlling it, but there are times when I need to let it out. For me, my nice side is harder to bring out, I don’t know why. I have trouble opening up to someone, telling them how I feel. And because of that, I sometimes have trouble helping others with their problems.
It’s who we are. Everyone has that bit of darkness inside of them, the question is what you do with it.
And to Lindsey's comment on me, yes impulsiveness can be good, but living by it is what I was talking about that was stupid. At times, it causes great chaotic fun. I can't argue with benevolent chaos, but living by that code is bound to run afoul after awhile.
Curse...you...Dan...I knew I shouldn't have taken the "Take it from the guy who looks up info about serial killers for entertainment" out of my blog...
In the countless arguments I’ve had with my parents, the quote, “If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” has been said an irrevocable number of times. As frustrating as this rhetoric question is, it’s completely logical. Society shouldn’t dictate anyone’s decisions, life is what YOU make it. Mr. Greene’s notion that “the strength of their denunciation equals the strength of their attraction” is wrong. I’m not attracted to evil acts, or wooed by the praised “badass” society. In my book, “Badass” is synonymous with “Asshole.”
I’m not attracted to villainous characters. When I hear of a shooting in Philadelphia, or a robbery in a Wawa, “Scum” is the first word that comes to my mind. I don’t understand how Mr. Greene can call these people genuine, and frankly, it angers me. Is a convicted murderer more genuine that a firefighter who runs into a blazing building to save a child? Is a gangster more genuine than a soldier who sacrifices his life by covering an enemy’s grenade with his body to save his friends? The answer is no. These delinquents of society are nothing more that failures in life who have turned to crime. They aren’t “acting on” their desire to be villainous, they’re resorting to it. I’m attracted to these villainous characters about as much as I’m attracted to garbage.
I wouldn’t say I have a dark side. If I do say I have one, I’m just looking for an excuse to do the wrong thing. I look at myself as a whole. I make good decisions as well as bad ones, and learn from both. It’s not like there is a good version of me that always says please and thank you and an evil version that puts on a Darth Vader helmet and tackles old people and steps on butterflies. I am me. I make decisions based on my morals, not a pimp named Slickback, and my morals have been strong my entire life.
I look back on the first bad thing I can ever remember doing, stealing a matchbox car from Shop-Rite. I remember I didn’t steal the car to be cool, but because I thought the car was the fastest thing ever. When I was denied the right to the car from my mom, I decided to take matters into my own hands by slipping it into a bag with already purchased food in it. Ingenious right? Well, even though I was only about four, I felt horrible for what I had done. The speedy matchbox car was a symbol of my evil act, and I resented it. I didn’t tap into my “dark side” when I stole that car, I just thought the pro’s outweighed the cons when I made that decision. I learned from my wrong decision, and became a better person because of it.
"Devon's a nice girl."
"You don't have a mean bone in your body do?"
"Are you always this sweet?"
I CANNOT tell you how many times I have heard these words, or variations of them. Most people hear Devon Palermo and that's exactly what comes to mind. Of course I could be totally misleaded. However, it seems to me as though a lot of people perceive me as the "nice" girl. What most people don't realize? I'm not a perfect little angel. No way. Nobody is. I have a dark side. I get angry and say stuff I don't mean, I have urges to hit people, I go through phases where I'm not afraid to get in trouble. I'm not always "nice." However, the difference is...I go through these mean streaks about, hmmm, once in a blue moon. Someone has to be really rude or mean or cruel for me to get angry. I usually just get upset. Even on the soccer field I don't want to hurt people. It's a bad problem when it comes to my game. I can't help but think, "she's a girl just like me" or "if I hit her too hard, she might get seriously hurt." (Empathy at its finest.) I know it's pathetic, but it's naturally how my mind works. Now, if the girl is rude or pushy or violates my space...it's a different story. I CAN have a dark side, and sometimes I do show it. Most of the time though, I live in my own calm, level-headed world where I don't have desires to hurt anyone. But then Carly will encourage me to "get butch." Naturally, I obey. Or try to at least. :) I guess my point is that we all have a dark side. The main difference is how often it decides to make itself known. Because my dark side is rather dormant, I'm perceived as "nice." Woohoo.
I totally agree with Robert Greene in that everyone has a dark side, and that we are attracted to those qualities. I myself date a "bad boy." Which is a joke, really. But the truth is, we all love a rebel. Somebody who gets out there and shakes things up a bit, somebody who possesses those "dark" qualities. Why not? They make the world interesting. If it weren't for the "bad guys" we would all be so bored with our lives. And it's true that these people are often in touch with their inner selves. They are genuine and they know what they want out of life.
There's something irresistible about darkness. Something, we, as humans, cannot get over. We prey upon the news at night, waiting eagerly to see what violent acts occurred in the world. We crane our necks at car accidents, trying desperately to catch a glimpse of the bloodshed. We love to watch CSI and cold case, waiting until the footage of the crime is played. We are a violent, "dark" species. Just think of the Roman Coliseum. There is no better example out there of the innate "dark" side present in human beings. No matter how hard people may try, this “dark” side of life will not go away. It’s a part of who we are, something that can’t be undone. It’s almost instinctual. Even little kids laugh when mommy “trips” or daddy “stubs his toe.”
Robert Greene, from what I understand, has a very accurate view on the human race, and I support his opinion that we all have dark sides and that we are all attracted to darkness 100%. However, I like to believe that everyone has a "good" side too, and that we are attracted to goodness as well.
"I don’t know, maybe I’m just too optimistic sometimes, but I honestly believe that everyone has some good inside of them, some emotion, some sense of affection."
-Erik N.
I completely agree with you, Erik. You aren't too optimistic at all. In fact, I wish more people thought this way. You word this so nicely, and I understand exactly where you are coming from. People are so quick to judge, and automatically form negative opinions of others. If we all just took the time to understand where somebody is coming from, and to look for the positive within others, more people would have this outlook. More people would realize that there is good within everyone, it just takes some finding. :)
Alright, so first off, when did blogs begin to take over lives? Just kidding…except not really. Although it is admiring that certain people can reveal many hidden and honorable character traits and morals about themselves to their entire AP Lang class, it’s time to take that next step. To quote the always hilarious Mr. Martino, “saying it on the blog doesn’t mean shit. Don’t be a baby and say it to someone’s face.” (that wasn’t exact, but basically right). I 100% agree, whether you’ve taken the kindergarten-way out and insulted someone on the blog, or you are simply divulging truths about your emotions and feelings, its never really out there until you tell someone. Be REAL, you know that adjective that everyone says they attribute, but yet people still can only say shit behind people’s back; yup that one. I’m not trying to lecture anyone because I don’t have that authority or wisdom to do so, however I’m allowed to put my two cents in a blog, and damn right I’m ‘gonna.
(But now for the real blog response). Although I posted otherwise in my first blog response, I’m beginning to sense that the whole thing with everyone having a dark side isn’t correct. True, I’m trying to spice up the discussion, but this side as well can be easily defended. I’m not going to pin-point people out, but look around the school and your class, aren’t there some people who you believe contain no harmful or demeaning cell in their body? I can name a few, and although I can’t speak for other people’s inner being, can sure speculate that the dark side is not achievable for many. They could follow strong morals and all that, but lets put it in perspective. If you were a politician like the candidates running now, or simply a candidate for a town office, you are running because there are things you want to change, enhance or make known in society. For strong-willed people, these changes are for the better. However, in the world of politics as we all know there are ridiculous amounts of corruption and such. So, either you get elected through trashing the other guy to make your difference, or you loose because your opponent dug up some dirt on you and your chances are over. It’s simple Darwinism, political style. Survive dirty, or loose even worse. Just like our coach says on the soccer field, “every goal is a pretty goal!!” He doesn’t care if you take out players on the way and gut bust the ball into the back of the net, if there’s a point on our side, it’s a good goal. Same with winning possession; if it comes down to the other player taking a shot, your are going to sneak any physical attack in that you can to deny her that opportunity. Sure it brings out hatred and ‘dark sides’ of people in games, but nowadays, winning is just about everything if you consider yourself competitive. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that life is going to throw a whole lot of crap and obstacles in your way, but no matter how you survive them, sometimes just getting by is creditable.
JON SCH.
Reading you response was very influential, as many other people have said. I can tell that you are going through a rough patch, but kicking the bucket as you said does not account for the simple daily regrets that everyone goes through. It’s almost impossible to find a person out there who appreciates their life every waking second, and your completely right, for people to have to go through some life changing experience for them to realize that is BS. Still, it’s about the times you do cherish that make a difference. Hate being all cliché and shit on you, but if you can let’s say just consider the awesome feeling of dribbling a ball down the soccer field on a fall day, or just hanging out with your friends, those small tidbits of recognition are what makes your life worthwhile. Also Jon, I know that you said you want to write or illustrate in some way something extremely insightful and full of meaning that the world will see. You may not see it, but you do that almost everyday. The blog you just wrote and small comments I heard you make in Costal’s last year had the class’s mind turning in alternate directions because you bring up points, people don’t even consider many times. Stop looking down boy!
JANI-JANI!
I leave you with the wise words of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury;
"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about."
First-love both of them (QUEEN!)
Second-Very wise words, as you put it. I don’t really want to rant about this but terror and fear of humiliation and rejection keep many people from rising up. It’s the great ones, good and bad, who control that fear. And to quote on of the best movies ever, as Susan said you have to face fear, “And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years. And it is good. And you use it. And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky!” (<3)
Mae Mae-
You are amazing. Your blog was terrifyingly honest. And I admire your ability to open up, because that is something I can’t do. I can promise you that you will not live your life in solitude, because you are a beautiful, smart, and outspoken girl. And anyone that doesn’t love that isn’t ready to see the world in the true light. You tell it how it is, and that is what I admire about you. You should never wish to take the easy way out, because that is not you. And this world without your sincerity and opinions would be lacking a presence that can never be replaced. I don’t want you to ever think that you aren’t wonderful, because you are. And you can continue to put up that façade, but everyone loves the real you.
I LOVE YOU MAE MAE.
To Ivan, I agree completely with your assessment that there is no good or bad, black or white, and that everyone has a justification. To Hils, I agree that every does have some good in them, no matter their actions. And since you've called Godwin's law on yourself, I must say that even Hitler had an inner light. He thought he was doing a good thing with mass genocide. He went about it the wrong way, but his motive was pure enough. And, on two less serious notes, First, Hils, Ben Franklin is badder than Albus Dumbledore. And two, Alice, good job turning the other cheek to that femmefool on the bus. If I learned anything from Bubbleboy, its that she'll get b**ch-slapped by a six armed goddess eventually. Kaarrmmaa.
Oh,and Dan, about that chaos thing you mentioned...these blogs are getting dull. I mean, where are the arguments? I have hundreds of things to use and I never have a chance. It's no fun. Before you ask, nope, still don't see that as a dark side of me.
On a more serious note, indeed, those low level thugs are true to themselves because they give into their urges. They are beasts, unable to see beyond, their own petty existence. I'd rather not degrade to that level. Now, smart criminals, those are fun. They make good villains when done right too.
Anyways, starting up with my wonderfully dark poem (which Hoban totally
interrupted with his class... darn you!)
I fall into the shadows of myself
A dark hollow that resides
In the casiums of my heart
Which bellows out the night
Who wraps cold arms about my shoulders
Like a shawl given to me by a dead mother
Her hands cold and clammy
As they brush against my cheek.
I cannot see the world around me
barely able to see myself
As my inner light fades
Flickering, dying,
Into the endless catacombs and caverns
That reside inside
Never to be seen again
Like the black void of nethered space.
And here I reside alone
To wallow in the darkness of despair
That resides in all of us,
Born by our struggles,
Our losses,
Our fears.
A lingering doubt that grabs at our hearts
Clutching it with cold hands,
and sinks us deep into the stillness of the Void
The void of the space
Of the Nether
Of the Night
That is the shawl
Given to us by out dead mothers
A mother of the Night
With hands that chill and strangle
Dragging out our air.
Alone I suffocate
Dying at my mother’s hands.
But suddenly, in my despair,
In my loneliness,
A Light appears from within my soul.
And the Night mother,
The Nether mother,
Let’s go
And slinks away
Back into the Nether of the Dark.
The Light within me grows
And I start to see myself
For what I truly am.
Yeah... I did that about a week or so ago but it felt like it fit our
subject. Feel free to comment on it and yes, I know my punctuation is
crap but do try to look past that for me, please?
I believe that this really helpe to show a little sliver of my darker
side/persona, how I believe that she may have come about (and no, that
is NOT my MOTHER that I am referring to. Mother just seemed as though
to fit okay! Jeeze!) But I do believe that we all have that darker
portion that we keep away from others that are by us because we need
tht little part of us that only we know, that only we can see. OUr
darker side keepd us in line, helps us to decide what is good and what
is bad, helps to seperate us from what is truly evil because we can
shut away our more impulsive, more violent sides.
I hav etrouble with this, I will admit. But I’m sure that most of you
have realized that by now so whatever. I tend to get more agressive,
more violent, than most people. I have trouble with my aggreser
responses and tend to hurt people (both mentally and physically) when I
didn’t really mean anything and I know that they weren’t trying to
upset me. It’s something that I’m learning to deal with and I have
been getting better at it too, but I’m still far from perfect.
And yes, I will admit that I AM attracted to those who seem as though
to posses some kind of darkness in them as well (I do like Hannibal
Lecter and the Joker. They make me feel... normal I guess is the word
in comparison. They’re also cool and fairly attractive. But that’s
just me.)
I just love these blogs. They’re like little self-helppers that try to
make me better!
Not like there’s anything wrong with how I am! I am NOY ashamed of my
personality or point of view. I just need some better control is all.
Sarah: I said this once, I’ll say it again. You rock.
Matty: I love you! You are my hero!
PLEASE RESPOND TO MY BLOG! NO ONE SEEMS AS THOUGH TO READ WHAT I SAY
AND IT’S VERY DEPRESSING! PLEASE!?!?! I’LL GIVE YOU CHOCOLATE?!?!
MIKE N.
“Badass” is synonymous with “Asshole.”
First, your witty comments are the best.
Also I read your blog and felt completely drawn to your side of the issue. The points you made were LEGIT and made locical sense. Saying that you are attracted to "villians" and "rebels" is like saying that you aprreciate the 'genuine' acts of murderers and homicidal physcos who think that they can dictate the life span of others over completely ridiculous reasons. I don't think that I regard Hannibal Lectar, the cannibal asshole, and the freak from Saw, who thinks of sick ways to torcher people, as genuine and outspoken people striving to make a name for themselves. They are sick pieces of shit, who should be tied to a chair and thrown in a rainbow/disney princess/bunny rabbit painted room and have to 'suffer' with 'nice' and 'happy' objects while watching Barney. Your right Mike, F' those people and their motives that say they can determine the lives of others all because they were brave enough to step to the dark side.
Okay, you asked and I shall answer…I can think of many instances where, at least I have seen, my dark side peeked through my outer layer of kindness and respect. I not proud of it at all but I feel I most be completely truthful. So, most of my shortcomings have to do with watching others struggle. While I try my best to help others exceed, I sometimes question myself as to “Why?” “If I don’t help them,” I think sinisterly to myself, “It makes it all that easier to do better than them. I am removing the competition before the game has even started.” I do my evil “Mwhahahaha” laugh but then I think and say, “That’s just not me. I don’t want to hurt others and, sometimes, in my own cockiness, it’s no fun to play the game all by myself, I would like a challenge.” I quickly dismiss the thought and go to help whomever asked me. But, obviously, sabotage and deceit are not the only types of evil or darkness I encompass.
But, I think, in order to fully understand why I feel the way I feel, I need to express my definition of “darkness/evil”. I think that darkness is just the absent of good/purity. But what do I define as good you may ask: the absence of darkness/evil. In language terms, it is a very bad definition, but to me it makes perfect sense; good and bad are intertwined. Without one you can’t know the other. For example, if there were no “bad” acts, how would we know what to consider “good”? It is by example we learn what is right and what is wrong. Now, of course that varies from person to person, but the idea still applies. If we never knew killing was “bad”, how would we know then, that respecting life is “good”? Are ya pickin’ up what I’m laying down? If not, sorry, but I think it is time to move on.
According to Scoot Alexander, “All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.” We, as in Costal’s HNRS English students, talked about this for days, and some fights broke out because of it. But now, I really understand. It would be so much easier to lose ourselves in our own worlds, forget about everyone else, and just concentrate on us, but that’s never going to happen, nor should it. I just finished “37 Who Saw Murder Didn’t Call Police”, FYI our new reading log assignment, and was appalled, shocked, flabbergasted, and angry at the lack of sympathy and willingness to get involved and possibly save the woman’s life! But as taken aback as I was, it didn’t surprise me. Why? Because I see and do the same thing all the time, just on a much less life-threatening scale, although who I am to say what is “life-threatening”?
I would saying at least 3 times a week I see a situation in which a kid is being pushed around, picked on, abused, etc. but I fail to step up to the plate, which is really the worst kind of darkness: apathy. Gym class is a perfect example. Just the other day I walked in and I saw a group of tall, bulky kids huddled around a much smaller one. I chose to ignore it and walk on by. “Why, though?” is what I ask myself now. I could make up a myriad of excuses such as: it happened to me, so s/he should go through it, too, or maybe they are friends just fooling around, or even it’s none of my business. I often forget about the incident only a few seconds later. I don’t think of what I could have prevented. For all I know, if I jumped in, I could have saved someone’s life or prevented a catastrophe, such as a school shooting, from ever occurring, just by offering support and a helping hand.
By these examples, which I’m sure all, if not a majority, of us have committed, we all have a little “devil” sitting upon our shoulder coaxing us into doing the wrong thing. The sad part is, we rarely realize what we are doing. We’ve hardened ourselves in order, I can only guess, to protect ourselves. But why are “we” more important than that “other” girl or guy? What makes “us” so special? Now, on to the other part of the question.
Why are we drawn to seducers, hustlers, and pimps? I like to think I don’t idolize any of the aforementioned groups, but I definitely understand what Greene is saying. Those groups act upon their innate evil, because everyone, except a minor few, dependent upon religion, have evil instilled in them since birth. They don’t try to cloak their “villainy” that they are born with, but instead act upon it and develop it. It is rather ironic, though, that most people felt that hiding your true self is wrong but in this case, hiding your true, innate “evil” is right. What a paradox!!!
I do, however, think that there’s a difference. While they both directly contribute to who we are as individuals, choosing evil over good, winds up hiding the goodness that is packaged with the evil. Like I said before, you need one to have, know, the other. That and by choosing pure evil we are now hiding the good we have, meaning our attempt to expose ourselves for who we are failed. Simply put.
With that said, the reason, in my humble opinion, that, I think, we raise these antagonists up on a pedestal, not that everyone does, is because of their ability to recognize that they are born evil and not try to deny it. We envy, which by the way is a deadly sin, their capability to acknowledge that they are not perfect. However, I think there are much better ways to acknowledge its presence than to act upon it. The first step is just to accept its power and realize that we aren’t perfect; evil, most indubitably, feeds off of our self-confidence and cockiness. If we can just realize we are flawed and remember that day-to-day, we might realize what we are doing is wrong and stop or try to help someone else we feel is being wronged. But too often we don’t, which is why we “that kid” alone and force him or her to suffer. It is because we feel they deserve it, when, in truth, if we looked at ourselves, we would say that no one deserves to be mocked or abused.
To wrap up my entry, I will divulge some of the other evil things I have done: I have belittled many people, including family, to the point of tears and despair. I have gotten into fights until it has gotten physical, and when it did, I lost control. My beastly instinct kicked in and all I could think about was inflicting pain upon the poor sap, umm humm my brother cough cough, who decided he was smarter and strong than me. I have been destructive and caused damage to people’s property. I have talked about people behind their backs. I have purposefully let people struggle and flop around, like a fish out of water, for my own personal amusement. Not so “Mr. Goody-two-shoes” am I? But, wait, there’s more! I have intentionally used phrases and words others don’t know to increase my own self-importance. I have done extra to place myself on a platform above everyone else. I have, of course, cheated on or at something at least once in my life, not anything for Bunje, though. I know better than that. I laugh at other’s pain and suffering in order to feel better about my own situation, but not to the point of what people would consider sadistic. I could endlessly list every little evil thing I’ve done in my life but I sure you are all bored and are for me to finish, so, in a non sadistic and rather kind manner, I will end my blog with an old quote:
“Dark times [choices] lie ahead... Soon we must all face the choice
between what is right, and what is easy."
Would it really be so hard, insane, to say that human nature is in fact...evil? Where is it written that humans naturally act in a "good" way? And for that matter what determines the extent of good or bad, even further is it within the confines of a man's (not woman's) ability to decide what distinguishes the two realms? Now most people will say that all of these questions are answered by the same thing, gut-feeling, morals, instinct or whatever you would call it. Frankly I feel this answer is a poor attempt at answering the question because it just goes on to make you wonder what decides morals and so on. But if we look at our contemporaries and at our past there is more than enough evidence to say that human nature is not evil per say but more along the lines of...Malicious.
There is a saying amongst parents, that most of you know, that goes along the lines of “if you tell them not to do something, they want to do it even more.” The truth in that statement is undeniable. The unknown fascinates us, drives us in wonderment. Knowing this would it be abstract to say that we are also fascinated by evil or wrong-doing, something that society constantly tells us not to do? Well the answer to that is apparent as we idolize the people who live up to or consequently down to those standards. The vigilante, the one who does the right thing but in their own way and usually to the dismay of the local authority figure. You know who I’m talking about, Batman, Hancock, the Fonz, John Bender, Spiderman, Bonnie and Clyde, V, all of these icons are those who do what we dare not to, they eat the forbidden fruit and do not fear the wrath of the warden. These are all characters that we emulate because they can be what we cannot, they are not bound by the restrictions of society and do not trouble themselves with the confines of right and wrong. Everyone loves a rebel.
Although we try to feed our fascination of the dark side with comic book characters and 6 o’clock TV. land movie stars, it is invariable that we would not act out on our own accord at times. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups” this quote would seem to ring true, the coliseum, the holocaust, the donor party. But what if these people were not acting in collective stupidity but finally acting out a side of them that they have never explored before for fear of rejection? These people would never explore these sides of themselves until in a group they all reassured themselves with their collective curiosity and thus came the death and chaos of those specific events.
The truth in all of this is that what we live in now is fake. All of this, all around us, nothing but a pictured painted of all the notions and emotions society wants for you to have. We live the cardboard cutout lives of corporate conglomerates that seek to control the masses through conformity and complacency. And we accept it whether out of fear of ourselves or the want for a stable base in society. Yes, I’ll take smear of synthetically manufactured freedom on top of my wonder bread. This is not real, not when we have to hide ourselves from the world. To maintain the happy continuum that the world has created we let ourselves fall into the illusion of freedom and what it means to act correctly. Greene was spot on in saying that we revere the pimp and the vagabond, the seducer and the true OG because they will always be real. Why should they hide their personas from the world? Does the fact that someone in power doesn’t like their actions make them any less satisfactory then the actions all of us make over the day? We live smugly within our own little false sense of justice, hidden from what we really are. It’s a shame then that those who go and live out both sides of the spectrum are looked down upon as evil or bad when in reality they are exercising the realms of their minds that we dare not touch.
No one is has the immunity of the rush of committing a crime. That is definite, that is fact. The adrenaline pumps through your body allowing you heightened senses and abilities, you’re a miniature superman. It’s a natural high that compares to no other drug. To steal, to fight, to run from the law, face it or break it, all these things will give you a ride you’d never expect. Because finally you are batman or you are the rebel, the one everyone looks up to, the one no one would dare emulate, they call you crazy. Maybe they’re right, you may have crossed the line of insanity long ago, but does it matter? In reality whose line did you cross, the one established by your own mind or the one everyone else makes? The point is at the time you are finally in control, your actions are your own and decide your own fate, that is truth and that is real.
I guess at this point it would be pretty redundant to say that I have a dark side. Because I’ll be the first one to tell you, some days I really just want to run from the cops. I mean I REALLY want to run from the cops. And for someone who runs year round I’ll tell you I’m sick of running, but this is something different, this is not winning and losing because the risk has just increased. It’s now a game of survival and defeat, and that is insanely fun. Does the fact that I’m enthralled by “competition” of this magnitude make me bad? Well that all depends on the standards that you will judge me by. The only thing I know is that to deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. We should live our lives based of the truth of our own conscious’s, not by preconceived ideals of right and wrong as established by the popular media.
Ashley S:
“I then began to think of everything that was holding me back; all of the morals of society that were hanging over me like rusted chains pulling me back and having the power to make me change my mind.”
That was amazing! The whole idea of you even thinking of breaking the glass with your piccolo surprises me, but in a way it doesn’t. I mean there has to be some anger built up inside.
“The reason for their attraction is simply due to the fact that he is everything they are not.”
I could not have put it better myself. I would love to be swept away buy this guy that you describe; I mean honestly what girl wouldn’t? My “dark side” wants someone who is everything that I am not, and in a way, my “normal” side wants that as well. I think that we can all learn from different personalities but it comes down to what you have in common.
In response to Devon:
Please, we all knew you had a dark side. All that bottled up peppiness and happiness has got to erupt in violent waves of death at some point. Anyway I agree with the points you made about humans craving darkness but I think your description of each individuals darkness is a bit off. I think that in some way shape or form we all have the same level of raw unadulterated darkness hanging inside of us. The kind that could eat another human being to survive or destroy another race to save our own. I do agree that these feelings lie dormant until provoked but there are not more inherently evil people than others, we are all capable of the same atrocities even if we don't know ourselves well enough to say so. It’s understandable that we don't like to recognize the extent of our own evil, but it is there none the less. A perfect example in your blog was the little kid acting purely off of instinct and untainted mental thought laughing at their parent getting hurt. But on top of everything you said, the most truthful and monumental assertion you made that will shake the realms of our knowledge and all of its gigantic expanses is that no, mike Galli is not a bad boy.
Myra, I must say you make a fair point about the darkness giving us comparison. Especially when you mentioned Joker and Lector making you feel normal. You make a fair point, but I've said it before, and I'll say it again, you vaguely frighten me, but you have inspired me. We do need the dark side to see the light. Otherwise, dark would be light, and light would be light, and where would the fun in that be. (I responded. Chocolate please?)
With a disappointing sigh as I slough back in my office chair, I can not hold back my somber feeling on the truth of the matter. The statement itself presents an dumbfounded idea men of principles would find unacceptable; but the logistics that hold within the statement can not be argued otherwise. The grim, fearful, despairing mindset haunting foulest creatures of this earth, and this should be understood as the human being, in all his “intellectual” and “understanding” beliefs on what he's to face, leads us back to contradicting the appropriate paths taken to assist and care, whether for our own self-gain or the suppression of all around us. When can I begin even debating the matter when in reality the only thing that would come of it would be a new understanding of the sinister Greek word “ hypocrite”? The snake which so sneakily slips through the inner bounds of our souls and lays in them the eggs of the bewildered eventually creeps in the mind of those who even try to slay the beast or hide from it's wrath. My own person has taken on the snake many times with some stories of success; but the mayhem that usually results from it leads me down a wrong path, some times being the one whom cuts a new path on this forsaken trail. The hope that we may fight this evil stands as a factor highly presentable when the challenge is handled correctly, but may over take us times when our toes are most vulnerable to nibbled away by it.
The darkness which lurks about us can only be faced with caution and often we lead into failure on our venture. Is it the man's fault that he must stop which he is born with? An extent of this could be answered as “yes” if we turned to look right. The nature of man in his course can, however, be a twisted story of unthoughtful abuse. An man steps out on his porch to see others pelting a wandering bohemian with rocks. The man runs over to shoo away the moral criminals then assist the victim in care. The following day the man once again yells as the scoundrels throw their load, shooing them away but more quick to return home. The final day the man heres the yelps on the victim, to walk on his porch with a handful of rocks to join the crazed executioners in their quest. And so exposed is the human soul as this, for the insights of darkness can leave it's self more pulchritudinous then the actual lust of morals can hope to engulf in. It is not easy for one to stay on the porch and harass the convicts, nor to be willing to go help the one who is left in the mix of this drama pulverized with abuse. The temptation to become one evil is easily marched upon when one lets down their guard for a second notice. The natural duty of humanity becomes suppressing those whom we find committing such peccancies, in the reality sometimes we must be the ones whom are persecuted when life seeps into such a boundless hole leaking into the lowest crevasses of earth.
The extent of this tirade makes me rant on for such lengths of time within my own mind I could just as well turn this blog response into a occasional paper. I could just as well go on arguing the point for days, probably turning myself into a more haneous mad man than I already am. I must end hear before my own mental and moral state is conflicted and bent any longer.
Tarah T:
"Everyone loves a good mind-enthralling mystery. Something that causes your blood to rush beneath your skin and tickles that part of your dangerous side back to life. Mystery is what leads us to be really interested in anything. The dark side is always forbidden by society, which makes it a mystery to most of us “do-gooders”. So as for Mr. Greene, I can see what he means about the dark side being particularly alluring to humans."
I could not agree with this more. We, as humans, are drawn to the unknown,and for most of us the "dark side" is the unknown. We, especially as AP kids, want to experience everything and know what it feels like. So it seems only natrual that our cuuriousity would get the better of us and have us delve into the dark side of things and people.
Jani:
First of all, i must be among the 2% that read your entire thing, YES! Second, you last paragraph:"No, my biggest fear is not being able to figure out what my “dark” side means and wants. The fear that I’ll never find answers to the questions I’ve been asking since I was a child. That’s why I do the things I do. That’s why other people do the things they do. It’s all a giant scheme to understand themselves and the world better, whether they realize it or not." takes a very unique perspective, but i whole-heartedly agree with you. That is defintely one of my biggest fears: wondering if i will ever know "why". And i think our dark side helps us to figure out the "why".
Devon:
"I can't help but think, "she's a girl just like me" or "if I hit her too hard, she might get seriously hurt." (Empathy at its finest.) I know it's pathetic, but it's naturally how my mind works. Now, if the girl is rude or pushy or violates my space...it's a different story." I understand what you're saying. unless someone really fires me up i just let their comments roll off my sholder. I do feel the same way. i have been told sooooooooo many times that i'm amazing and i couldn;t every hurt anyone haha! are they ever wrong. I definetely have those phases where i will ripped someone's head off, most likely verbably, if the look at me funny. however, like you, i rarely am in that mood and try to keep it that way, especially while i'm in school.
Jon S:
I don't care if you have been clinically diagnosed with terminal cancer, you can not act that way, well, you can, but i don't like it. You are extremely intelligent, even when you don't apply yourself. yes, you are goofy butthat's what i admire about you. you are smart and funny, something i rarely can pull off but strive to be better at. Every week i read your blog for a unique insight and i am never dissapointed. I feel like you are not trying but are allowing yourself to slip into this downward spiral. I know we're not the best of friends but i'll talk your help you if you every needed it or wanted it. I don't mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad, but i am seriously concerned. You are a valuable memeber to our school society, not matter how much you deny it; it just isn't the same without you. so, please, snap out of it. Look towards the bright side, and yes, there is always a bright side, somethings it is just hidden among the darkness.
Note: Hie everybody. This is Sarah Crane, because Myra is having technical difficulties and had to e-mail her entire blog to me. Unfortunately, Myra has begged me not to abuse my newfound power, so when I say this, remember that it is my words and nothing Myra would ever say in a million years:
"I, Myra Beth, renounce all athletic wear and will immediately start wearing jeans and frilly tops. And high-heeled sparkly shoes. I just love sparkle!"
Now that I've got that out of my system, here are the true words of Myra.
Anyways, starting up with my wonderfully dark poem (which Hoban totally
interrupted with his class... darn you!)
I fall into the shadows of myself
A dark hollow that resides
In the casiums of my heart
Which bellows out the night
Who wraps cold arms about my shoulders
Like a shawl given to me by a dead mother
Her hands cold and clammy
As they brush against my cheek.
I cannot see the world around me
barely able to see myself
As my inner light fades
Flickering, dying,
Into the endless catacombs and caverns
That reside inside
Never to be seen again
Like the black void of nethered space.
And here I reside alone
To wallow in the darkness of despair
That resides in all of us,
Born by our struggles,
Our losses,
Our fears.
A lingering doubt that grabs at our hearts
Clutching it with cold hands,
and sinks us deep into the stillness of the Void
The void of the space
Of the Nether
Of the Night
That is the shawl
Given to us by out dead mothers
A mother of the Night
With hands that chill and strangle
Dragging out our air.
Alone I suffocate
Dying at my mother’s hands.
But suddenly, in my despair,
In my loneliness,
A Light appears from within my soul.
And the Night mother,
The Nether mother,
Let’s go
And slinks away
Back into the Nether of the Dark.
The Light within me grows
And I start to see myself
For what I truly am.
Yeah... I did that about a week or so ago but it felt like it fit our
subject. Feel free to comment on it and yes, I know my punctuation is
crap but do try to look past that for me, please?
I believe that this really helpe to show a little sliver of my darker
side/persona, how I believe that she may have come about (and no, that
is NOT my MOTHER that I am referring to. Mother just seemed as though
to fit okay! Jeeze!) But I do believe that we all have that darker
portion that we keep away from others that are by us because we need
tht little part of us that only we know, that only we can see. OUr
darker side keepd us in line, helps us to decide what is good and what
is bad, helps to seperate us from what is truly evil because we can
shut away our more impulsive, more violent sides.
I hav etrouble with this, I will admit. But I’m sure that most of you
have realized that by now so whatever. I tend to get more agressive,
more violent, than most people. I have trouble with my aggreser
responses and tend to hurt people (both mentally and physically) when I
didn’t really mean anything and I know that they weren’t trying to
upset me. It’s something that I’m learning to deal with and I have
been getting better at it too, but I’m still far from perfect.
And yes, I will admit that I AM attracted to those who seem as though
to posses some kind of darkness in them as well (I do like Hannibal
Lecter and the Joker. They make me feel... normal I guess is the word
in comparison. They’re also cool and fairly attractive. But that’s
just me.)
I just love these blogs. They’re like little self-helppers that try to
make me better!
Not like there’s anything wrong with how I am! I am NOY ashamed of my
personality or point of view. I just need some better control is all.
Sarah: I said this once, I’ll say it again. You rock.
Matty: I love you! You are my hero!
PLEASE RESPOND TO MY BLOG! NO ONE SEEMS AS THOUGH TO READ WHAT I SAY
AND IT’S VERY DEPRESSING! PLEASE!?!?! I’LL GIVE YOU CHOCOLATE?!?!
Sarah: yes, Myra really said I rocked. I did'nt change anything in her blog, not even the blatant spelling errors (they're just part of the fun).
Myra this counts as me responding to your blog. While inside your blog. Yay!
And there's a reason I left the Hannibal-loving friend anonymous, YOU LITTLE FREAK. We've already had this discussion.
Bye!
"I, Myra Beth, renounce all athletic wear and will immediately start wearing jeans and frilly tops. And high-heeled sparkly shoes. I just love sparkle!"
Hahahah Sarah Crane :) wonderful.
Sarah, you silly goose. if you had looked only a few enteries up, you waould have seen i already posted myra's blog. so, sorry, you are too late. :(
Now, I'm not accusing Mr. Greene of anything with this response, but I feel the need to mention that I know full well how easy it is to draw a seemingly logical conclusion about human nature and feed it to others as fact. It certainly makes you seem insightful, and you will be correct in your assumptions a fair amount of the time. Perhaps if Mr. Greene had a degree in psychology or something similar. The man does make a living writing about the mind, however, so I will accept his conclusions, even if I don't treat them as law.
Putting my uptight, holier-than-thou cynicism aside, however, I find myself agreeing. I've actually been reading a book that seems almost related: “A Clockwork Orange”. The narrator of the story, Alex, is without a doubt a horrible person. He was a vandal, a thief, and a murderer. He didn't commit horrible acts to help others, or for a cause he believed in. He was only interested in money and pleasure. And yet, despite his despicable behavior, the reader is not supposed to hate him, but instead regard him as a sort of anti-hero. The first, and most obvious reason is that the character is simply charming. In his narration, Alex is polite, seemingly humble, and tells a story very well, to the point where one can almost seem to hear him speak. Another possible reason, more relevant to the blog, is that he is very truthful in his narration. He makes no attempt to hide his ambitions from the reader, and states very plainly that he belongs to a different 'shop' than those who do things for the greater good. There almost seems to be a purity in his nastiness.
Alright, I should probably move on. This could only be interesting to people with knowledge of the story.
As for a personal dark side, of course I do! You don't get a nickname like “The Baby Eater” from being kind and a good Samaritan. Oh wait. I got the nickname because I like to make jokes, which is in no small part due to the fact that I believe making others happy is a virtue. It's not all about the attention.
My first impulse is to say that yes, I have a very dark side. But digging into myself, it's more like a few shadowy patches in a field of flowers where the fish people dance around. It's certainly a strange side, but if you can accept it, suppress your common sense, and learn the local customs, the fish would be perfectly happy to dance with you.
Agh. My metaphor gland is malfunctioning. I'm a bit confused by that, and I wrote it.
I have my own darker thoughts, yes. I have a morbid interest in Autism and Harlequin Icthyosis. I have a moderately dirty mind, as does the average teenage boy. (Teenage. Am I really teenage already? That was fast. How sad to think that we can never return to the blissful simplicity of our early years.) I'm a bit sorry to say I gain a sense of satisfaction out of manipulating people to a predetermined end. There are all sorts of various other bits of similarly disgusting evil spread out through my personality, but I just don't feel that they link together to constitute a dark side. Rather than actually having a complete selfishness within me, I simply have a fascination with the idea. Sacrificing all for the sake of one's own enjoyment has a sort of poetic nature to it. It occasionally makes me want to go crazy. But then, I think of all the people I currently care about, and feel guilty. So sane I remain.
Still, to live life with no conscience- To be purely manipulative and evil, living life for one's self... It certainly sounds like the surest path to happiness.
(I feel a flood coming. This isn't so much part of my blog post as a response to myself. Skip over it if you want, it's just my internal conflicts that for some reason or another I felt like sharing.) Agh. Never trust me to speak seriously... I feel like I've ignored several important points so that I can sound convincing, insightful, and wrap my arguments up with a neat bow. I'm not quite sure if I'm prone to zealotry or just lying to myself. If it's the latter, I'm quite good at it. I don't even consider the possibility until I look at someone else's opinion. It's an endless loop. When I talk about myself as a bad person, I have a nagging voice telling me that I'm simply making it up because I can't handle that I'm really just another boring nice guy on the inside. When I go and admit that I'm really a nice person, the same voice tells me I'm trying to escape my own cruelty. Thinking about this only serves to depress me. Life is too complicated. I naturally look into deep complex problems, and try to fix them with a simple answer. I have to imagine everyone has this happen. Going around looking for happiness in one thing until someone wiser than you sends you in another direction in a wild goose chase that lasts a lifetime.
I want to be with mama forever!(don't say that little guy, mama won't be around forever, gotta make your own way in the world) I want to be a grown up! (don't even think that things get better, most grown ups are miserable, enjoy where you are) I want to get a job and earn lots of money! (avarice is evil, son, you'll earn yourself a lifelong grinding emptiness for that) If I could just find my true love. (love won't fix anything, that's just what all the music crams down your throat, don't waste your life) Maybe if I find physical love... (it's completely overrated, you'll feel shallow and sick and ugly on the inside if you make that a goal) I guess I could just play my games until the day I die (that's hiding from your life, just pick a goal and go out and reach it, it's not so hard)
I feel so mentally exhausted... Caring about life is painful. Perhaps those higher up in life made it that way to keep us in line. I suppose it works.
Holy crap!
I just noticed, but someone else already posted M's blog (read my version, I have fun comments). Who did that and why did I just spend a half hour helping myra out with something already done?! I'll ask her tomorrow.
And Matt, if I had looked, then I wouldn't have been able to make fun comments, now would I?
I agree with Greene to a certain extent. I personally believe we all have a dark side. Not necessarily that we set out to kill or anything of the sort, but we can all have our dark moments. Those moments when you’d like nothing more than to punch some belligerent, obnoxious someone in the face. Those moments when you just want to get revenge, no matter the costs. Yeah, you know those moments. I sure do. In my case, soccer is a good way for me to get my ‘dark side’ out. Lately, I’ve had a tendency to curse…loudly on the field and have parents on the sidelines hear me. I’m sure everyone’s parents must look at me fondly…Hmm. But looking back, that really doesn’t seem like me at all. I’m normally level-headed on the field, keeping my temper to myself. But then there’s that dark side that likes to creep up, despite my efforts to push it back down. Thus, I do believe we all have a dark side. Some of us crave to know what it’s like on the other side. We’re told numerous times about how not to do this, not to do that. The restrictions just make it that much more tempting. So, I can see what Greene is saying about the dark side being attracting to us goodie-goodies. However, I don’t believe in any way that people are born ‘bad-to-the-bone.’ Everyone, in my opinion, has a good and a bad side somewhere, no matter how deep down. The ‘bad’ ones just choose to be bad. It just depends how far you can push someone till they finally crack. Thinking deeper into this reminds me of a book I read over the summer, Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Piccoult. One of the characters in the book eventually becomes so emotionally wounded from all the bullying he’s suffered, that he conducts a school shooting, killing and wounding all the jocks that ever tormented him. His reasoning for doing this: “They started it.” Books, television shows, and movies just wouldn’t be quite as interesting if there wasn’t that ‘bad’ character, now would they? I can say with confidence that I’m no evil person, but sometimes our actions as a whole can display otherwise. Sometimes, our mouths, or our egos get the best of us, and we stop using our heads and play off of our emotions. Jealousy occurs more than I even begin to describe. Some of us find it pleasuring to see others fail in order for us to rise up, including myself. I don’t thrive off of others not succeeding, but when it’s someone I dislike or am jealous of, I can’t say that I’m not pleased about it. No matter what any of you may think, you’ve all done it. I don’t care who you are, you have. But I still have to disagree on some of his views. Greene states that we are drawn to certain villainous characters such as the pimp, the seducer, the hustler, etc. because they are more genuine than we are. I have yet to feel any desire to experience what these ‘villainous characters’ go through. I don’t find them any more genuine than myself just because they have an actual label for themselves. I’m content with where I’m at, and I’m 100% sure my opinion won’t change. Greene also declares that “the strength of their denunciation equals the strength of their attraction.” I have to, again, disagree. For example, if I was to cheat on a test and was caught doing so, the LAST thing I would want to do would be to cheat again. It’s called morals. The guilt would eat me up. I’d be reminded of that one, measly test every time I even looked at the teacher. But we’re all given a fair chance to choose whether to make that leap to the ‘bad side.’ I think it’d be enjoyable and interesting to read more of Robert Greene’s work.
“Anyway, I've done some dumb things (especially last year) in which everyone gave me so much shit about. They told me, "Hilary... I don't know what's happened to you. You have changed so much.." or "I'm not mad at you... I'm just disappointed."” – Hil
I know exactly what you mean. I apologize to those who actually have the nerve to see us as a disappointment for experiencing life (not really). I think they’re the ones missing out and staying the same, while we’re learning from our actions and improving for the better.
I don’t necessarily agree with Mr. Greene. I don’t think people have a “dark side.” We are not sheets of paper, or coins, or photographs, with predictable fronts and backs. We do not have a negative with out positive traits balanced out by negative ones just as powerful. We are polydimensional beings. Every angle and every light will bring out new sheens and new shadows. Yes, we do have darker traits that we (understandably) try to hide in polite society. But we don’t heap them all on one side.
Or maybe that’s just me. I don’t have an evil-me. It would take too much energy. My dark side is every bit as visible as visible as my virtues. And all my faults stem from one; laziness. I cannot be bothered to seek out strenuous virtue. Though, oddly, this has kept me from most evil acts that I could do if I were a bit more motivated. It takes too much effort to cheat on the test; it would be much easier for me to spend a few minuets looking the words over beforehand. Stealing? Why bother? There’s all the trouble of making sure that no one is looking, that no security cameras are pointed at you, that the alarm system won’t go off as soon as you step through the door… And then I have this pesky conscience that won’t leave me alone for a month after I do something small like copy homework (which is why I don’t). I hate to think what it would do if I actually did something serious. I don’t want to have to deal with that. So I don’t. It’s worth my time to beg/borrow/earn the money needed to get items honestly.
I don’t think it’s evilness that draws us to the outlaw. There must be other traits as well. As Sarah pointed out, the Seducer is a creature of power. In rational people at least, she is not admired for her ability to seduce but her ability to control. We don’t care about evilness (or at least I don’t). It’s the skill, daring, cleverness that makes the villain so attractive. Because let’s face it; the hero is usually bumbling, surrounded by incompetents, incredibly dense, and generally dull. He has some secret weapon dangling around his neck for almost the whole book, and doesn’t realize it until chapter 45 out of 47. The hero is usually trying to maintain the status quo. His motivations are simple to the point to tedious. Save the world. Does that really take any explanation? But trying to destroy/take over the world… Now THAT’S an interesting idea.
If you know anyone long enough, you’ll see all their angles. The shadows and highlights will come to light. Maybe they are inclined to villainy. Congratulate yourself. You haven’t found one of the boring ones. And then watch your back. Interesting as the motivations are, they aren’t always logical.
In Response To Dan's Post
A big hell yes on the bit about the zodiac. Though my conscience and empathy would certainly keep me from doing anything like a serial killer, I could easily see the beauty of the complex puzzle created by the zodiac, still, and likely permanently, unfinished.
Once again, I do not believe in murder. Everyone deserves their fair chance. It is the other traits of the zodiac that draw me in.
Actually, Brendan, I think your metaphor makes perfect sence. Or maybe that's just because I like the notion of fish-people.
Sarah, stop abusing your power and leave "myra" out of this.
"Not necessarily that we set out to kill or anything of the sort, but we can all have our dark moments." -whaley
one of my points exactly! We can run all we want, but we may get caught up to eventually. Hay-ley is molto bounisimo e molto intellegiente!!
"A big hell yes on the bit about the zodiac. Though my conscience and empathy would certainly keep me from doing anything like a serial killer, I could easily see the beauty of the complex puzzle created by the zodiac, still, and likely permanently, unfinished."
-brenbren
And this is why he is better than all of you. :] haha brenbren
Ah...Brendan and Eva, I was waiting for your posts.
First, Brendan. Somehow, I was able to understand your metaphor completely, no matter how strange it seems. Any ways, your thought of having no solid dark side is exactly what I believe. It isn't black and white...
which flows into Eva's...
I agree completely when you say humans are multidimensional. Even villains, at least the well written ones, aren't just "Mwahaha, I'm evil because I'm evil".
I would say more, but the two comments aren't exactly worlds apart, despite how differently each is written. There are so many things touch onto my points also.
To Erik N
I really thought your blog was impeccably written. It seemed like every sentence had a good point and I agreed with each one. I really liked when you said,
“My family has strong morals, and those morals have been instilled in me, because they are all I have known since my birth.”
You’re right, It’s not our “dark side” that makes our decisions for us, but our morals. And honestly, I don’t think that the gangsters and hustlers of the world have the morals we do. They should look up to us, not the other way around.
And to Carly, Thanks for the response to my blog.
"They are sick pieces of shit, who should be tied to a chair and thrown in a rainbow/disney princess/bunny rabbit painted room and have to 'suffer' with 'nice' and 'happy' objects while watching Barney."
^^Its like you took the words right out of my mouth^^
Ah. Just yesterday Ian and Mr. Matlack were having a little discussion after school if laws are actually for the people who break them or for the people who abide by them. Of course we all know what Mr. Matlack’s opinion would be since he is very conservative. Then I just couldn’t concentrate on tedious chemistry homework, but I contemplated what both of them were arguing and it made me think of this blog question. We all break the law at some point in our life and those acts that are questioned by society lead us in experiencing our “dark side” that all of us have to some extent. There is no category for people who break the law because we all do it. I was once one who said, “ I will never do this or that because it is against the law and it’s immoral.” For the longest time, I tried to convince myself that so I’d just hold to society’s standards and the morality that we should have. As much as I love and admire Mr. Matlack for his philosophies on life, I do not agree to this one as I do of others. The summer and different influences allowed me to loosen the morals I have and for once just have fun and not be absorbed by what is right and wrong. The pimp, the seducer, the hustler, and all the immoral personalities or people we choose to be are against this law that are enforced are actually enforced by people who are those things. Isn’t it just ironic that government officials or law enforcers preach to protect children and yet they go home or at work and decide to enjoy some child pornography? Or those who officials who seem committed to their wife and country and then have an affair *ahem* Bill Clinton. No offense to him because he was an amazing president, but he had a dark side. We all have a dark side. It’s just how willing are you to show your true colors to the public? I agree with Greene because I admire people who are open with their immorality. They are more genuine and act upon their instinct as people. If we ignored society, self-discipline, morals, and etc. what would our true characters be? You won’t know unless you try, but some of us are afraid to be vulnerable and feel we have to be clones of everyone else in order to be accepted. The way I present myself and what really goes on in my head is extremely deceiving. I’m extremely resentful, vindictive, intolerant, jealous, secretive, distrustful, compulsive, obsessive, and the negative traits goes on. Really though I think this side of me only comes out when I feel crossed. For the most part, I am very calm, optimistic, and friendly. There are instances where nephews really got under my skin. I hate kids. I’d force them to march in their room up the stairs and I’d lock them in there just to make sure they won’t come out. They deserved it, though. There are other times where others have already said that “I hope people fail at life and make bad decisions”. I also make my sister look like a psycho by always slandering her to my mother just to make my accomplishments and the person I am seem superior. In fact, I am no better than anyone else. I also play mind games and love to manipulate. It’s quite fun to feed on gullible people who hang on to every word that comes out of your mouth. There is also times I seduced guys just so I could get something I want out of them. Astrology and my sign the scorpio explains my ways.
Who keeps an arrow in his bow,
And if you prod him, lets it go?
A fervent friend and subtle foe ??
It is the Scorpio
(www.findyourfate.com)
BRENDAN! A Clockwork Orange is actually on my extremely long list of books I need to get, along with The Wanting Seed by Burgess, as well.
But anyway, you wrote:
"Still, to live life with no conscience- To be purely manipulative and evil, living life for one's self... It certainly sounds like the surest path to happiness."
And I couldn't agree more. As hard as it may be to live with no conscience, if it were possible to just not care about anyone or anything, just yourself and your thoughts, I think you could be a very happy person. I think all the worries you have in the world would vanish, and instead you can just think clearly, forever. I would love that.
I agree with Greene here, on his first point.
For those of us that have read all of the Harry Potter series, *cough Capone cough*, who is your favorite character? By that I mean who is the character that you most often contemplated and talked about? For me this position was held by Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy. So… are these characters Friend or Foe? as Borders Books so often asked? These people are the ones that I think Greene is talking about, the typical “Slytherin” who looks out for himself and his priorities, not the person who mindlessly kills others in a cold blood. This self fascination, or fixation is what helps these types to be so successful in their endeavors. The desire in all of us to do the wrong thing is a way to break our own rules. Mr. Matlack said something to the effect of “Laws are not for the ones who would not break them.” I know that I have just mangled that but the point of it is: I do not kill people simply because it is the law, I do not kill people because I have no desire to kill people. However, the majority of the population that I know have set a strict set of moral codes for themselves that half of the time they break, and the other half they want to break. The world is not a place for absolutes; it is a place of not only blacks, and whites and grays, but of greens, yellows, blues, purples, reds, oranges, of magenta. When people try to answer questions like this they are trying to force an orange pumpkin with an adorably lopsided sneer to become a black blob on a piece of printer paper.
Do I have a dark side… hmm... This is eerily like a question that I asked myself not that long ago, “Am I a violent person?” I was unable to answer this question on my own, so I went around asking people who knew me fairly well, the variations that I got were, frankly, astonishing. One person says, “Yes, you are violent, I would not be surprised if you killed someone.” Another, “No, you are not violent.” Both of these answers confused me. How can I be extreme in both people’s eyes in the opposite direction I asked? Then it slowly crept into the light of my mind, creeping like the sun slowly rising from a long Alaskan nap, these people were measuring their experiences with me against their own personalities. They had both had different experiences with me at different points and places. As previously mentioned I am two (or three or four) different people in different atmospheres (why I dislike unannounced changes). Then I asked another person on a whim, and they described myself to me, “You are if you have a good reason.”
This is now a life motto. “You are if you have good reason.” I am dark with good reason, I am evil with good reason, I am kind with good reason, I am lonely with good reason, I am here with good reason. Sometimes I do not know what the reason is, but it is a good one (I hope!).
As to the “The strength of their denunciation equals the strength of their attraction” line, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” – the Queen, Macbeth, Shakespeare. See, it is not original but what is, right?
-Ali B
Eva:
"Though, oddly, this has kept me from most evil acts that I could do if I were a bit more motivated. It takes too much effort to cheat on the test; it would be much easier for me to spend a few minuets looking the words over beforehand. Stealing? Why bother? There’s all the trouble of making sure that no one is looking, that no security cameras are pointed at you, that the alarm system won’t go off as soon as you step through the door… And then I have this pesky conscience that won’t leave me alone for a month after I do something small like copy homework (which is why I don’t). I hate to think what it would do if I actually did something serious. I don’t want to have to deal with that. So I don’t. It’s worth my time to beg/borrow/earn the money needed to get items honestly."
I agree with you here. I have friends that have chose to stole from Walmart and stores in the mall. I don't understand how you could steal and be proud that you got away with it. I don't think I could ever steal anything because I'd end up confessing in tears with a red face and sweaty palms if I did. I hate consciences. The only reason I think we have them is because we're too analytical of ourselves and we interpret our actions of being either good ones or bad ones. If its bad then we start getting anxiety and stressed out about it and need to fix the situation. I would never beg for money though and I hate to borrow money from anyone. The honest living thing is the way to go.
To Sarah:
I didn't really just mean punching. ^_^' Let's just say, I wanted to "erase" her existence to the point where I felt that it would not be appropriate to explain what I wanted to do.
To Maegan:
Glad you liked the comment. I look forward to Spanish tomorrow!!!
To Jon:
You're right. But regardless of the lies I've told, I can truthfully say, you're still an idol and will most likely be for awhile. You do tell it like it is, and I like that about you!
To Dan P:
Thanks. I'm glad that I did so too. Oh, and one more thing... I'm not deferential!!! (though I'll admit it did help with the vocab quiz today...)
To Myra:
Love the poem! It was only a little depressing, but I love the amount of imagery used in it! WAH! Don't be depressed!! There are people who'll comment!!!
It is a little challenging to decide whether Dr. Greene is right or not, since not everyone thinks and feels the same. Some people might be drawn to villainous characters, while others may not. Personally, I must disagree with Dr Greene on his comment about human nature. The reason I think he is wrong is a personal opinion, however I feel it is still valid and general.
Throughout my life I have found that I am not drawn to the antagonistic or villainous characters in literature and entertainment, because beneath the diaphanous skin of every villain is an attention seeking, insecure wretch. I don’t know why some girls tend to fall for the “tough” and “bad” guy, since this is exactly the type I try to avoid. The bad guy was never appealing to me, and as a matter of fact, I despise that characteristic in a guy; the I’m-so-tough-I-can-do-anything-and-get-away-with-it, and look-at-me-I’m-so-bad-and-cool. I am not drawn to this behavior since it is so typical, and to me, this behavior is fake and done to gain attention. I see it in our school all the time; kids show off their bad side simply because they think others will think they are “cool”. Pathetic. All day I hear kids bragging about a fight they got into, or how high they were last night, or how drunk they got on the weekend. Every time I hear one of these conversations, I automatically stop listening, because I realize they are attention-starved show-offs. I think this type of behavior ties back into last weeks blog, since I believe that people who act like this utterly care about what others think, and behave in a way that will get them attention.
I am confused at why every time I meet a guy that likes me, (and I know when someone likes me because I’m a girl, and girls can always tell), they tell me a story about something bad they did or how they cursed out a teacher, etc., and the whole time I’m listening, I’m thinking...wow, you’re pitiable. I don’t understand why guys feel the need to prove themselves as bad, because they think girls like that. I actually go for the opposite. I like smart guys that you can actually have a conversation with and take seriously, and trust.
I do not have a desire to do the wrong thing; it’s actually the opposite. I try to do the right thing, make the right decisions, and associate with good people, who do not possess villainous characteristics. Although most people do have a dark side, I refuse to believe that everyone does. There is no way that my priest, the nicest guy I have EVER met, and who does so much for so many people, has a dark side.
Do I have a dark side? I’ve been thinking about this question ever since I saw the blog for the first time. I guess I’ll say I do because when I am angry, I desire revenge and until I get it, I cannot rest. In movies, when someone does something wrong to somebody else, I find myself craving for them to also get their revenge."Bad" guys have to be put in their place.
Myra- We had a conversation, abet a small one about your violent tendencies in class today. We contemplated what was possibly going through the mind of Sarah Crane when she gave you a knife for your birthday. By the way, do you know what she was thinking?
Mike- I have a similar "bad" story in which I mistook a counter-top display for freebies, and the guilt was extreme, even for a small child.
Ashley- Hmm... breaking the "diamond-glass" as I call it, I contemplate this a lot. Would the glass just stick to the wire, would it still shatter, Why is it there in the first place? however, the destruction via piccolo is unique from my daydreams.
That's all for now folks..
-Ali B :)
First, Ivan: Dangit! Why do we have to be the same person! You stole my comment for both Brendan and Eva. Brendan/Eva: see Ivan's comment on you guys. Alison: a)was it me who said that? and b) MacBeth quote... Awesome. And Alice: You were, so :P.
Oh Matt Capone. You're too intellectual for me at the moment, and I can't fully comprehend everything you said because I'm so tired. But it made me laugh :) Violent waves of death? Sorry to disappoint you, I'm never going to reach that level...lol. Ummm, I think you are right that we all have a certain level of evil. And you're last sentence was fun. Hah!
Dan you who said what? I think you may have been the "with good reason" contributor, among others, there were more people asked than actually depicted, for time's sake, and my poor cold fingers..
-Ali B :)
Meg Lee:
"When I do the wrong thing it is because I am human and I make mistakes. I never once “desired” to do the wrong thing, it just happens."
I agree completely on what you say here, and am jealous because i didn't think of it first. I don't think anyone really aims to do the wrong thing, but avoiding it does not always follow through.
And to Eva, for your comment on morality via laziness, I agree completely. It takes time to execute the perfect crime. (See my post on the Zodiac.) I don't have time for that stuff. Same with cheating. Too much work. Laziness is studying lightly. (GO MIDDLE PATH! WOO!)
HAHAHA "the dark side" I was wondering when this question would come.
First off, from my perception of what Bunje has told us about Mr. Greene, he is a legitimate genius. He seems to grasp the idea of human desire to do wrong and be drawn to the wrong thing quite well. Of course people are drawn to the pimps, the hustlers, and the seducers for all their infamously dark deeds. All these individuals and millions of others can be grouped in one extraordinary collection, which for now on will be referred to as the League of the Dark Side.These League of the Dark Side members represent such a strong pull on human nature that others just cannot plainly ignore. It doesn't help these commonplace people that these LDS, for short, members have spent most of their lives acting upon their devilish desires and perfecting their darkness. Never has someone woken up and exclaimed to the world, "I think today, I'm going to become a pimp." Their lives have been warped around this incredibly dark side, creating a perfect model of how the game of wrongdoing is played, and from birth to the casket that dark side will sit festering and growing like an infectious mold. As time goes on they will get increasingly darker and will acquire new skills of trickery and deceit. These LDS members don't care what your opinion is of them whether its good or bad, and they have no time too. In a world where your own darkness heavily clouds your life, light seldom has the chance break through this inky black screen. Their only thought is "How can I better myself in society?" It's rarely "What does the lady down the street think of my actions?" And never is it "How does this affect the people I'm deceiving?" Without these people would look upon a pimp, hustler, or seducer as just another bad individual, because it shows difference. If I can show the deepest darkest cruelties in a display of all my tricks of the trade I've picked up, they will throw roses at my feet. I'm sad to actually even acknowledge this, but Hitler fits this description perfectly. He never lived a relatively joyful life, but his darkness grew. Eventually, he perfected his darkness to entrance others, as he did with Germany. We today can reflect and say Hitler was a monstrous man, who was nothing short of a horrendous monster, but in Germany 1937 they loved him. He used all his ingenuity to employ his darkness in a way that spun the web around the public to convince them to destroy the Jews. He was the leader of the LDS and gives a deep insight into Greene's statement about people being drawn to the wrongdoer. Ultimately, these clear displays of their actions draw other humans in like a spider's web or a flower's sweet aroma of nectar.
People are naturally drawn to do the wrong thing, or else the decision to do right over wrong wouldn't be so hard to make. This innate nature within humans leads people to develop a dark side, in which some people become sucked into, while others can hide it gloriously. Regardless of if you pronounce it or show it, every single person has a dark side. Its part of being human, to make decisions based on which side has a more presentable argument. The darkness that calls towards people can entice them with sweet words and feelings to get their argument across, while the "light side" I guess you'd call it loudly proclaims its benefits. Human darkness can branch into a plethora of paths, while the heavenly light side presents only a few paths with an absolute at the end. For instance, a person sees a bike laying on the ground, but no one is in sight for hundreds of yards in every direction. A human's dark side whispers, "Take it", but the good side screams "NO". Now if that person takes the bike, there is the possibility of capture and arrest for stealing, escaping with the bike free of consequences, selling the bike for money, encountering the person whose bike it happens to be leading to a confrontation, and many more possible scenarios. On the other hand if you did not give into the desire for darkness, you walk past and continue your life. Nothing changes because of your choice to defy human nature. I guess, in the end my point is that, I agree with Greene and believe within everyone a dark side exists that pleas with sweet num-nums to be satisfied and embraced.
Obviously, due to my long and possibly irrelevant rant above, it's clear I to have a dark side. My true dark side has been hidden for quite some time, though. Many people can testy that I was rude, mean, and a grade A+ asshole, but few know that was just the tip of the iceberg. I actually have a lot of gruesomely dark thoughts that at times, scare even myself. This is probably going to inspire some hate, but I don't feel the need for a lot of people to be living. Old, sick, crippled, stupid, morbidly obese. All in my book, are worthless. People who feel the need to try to press their intelligence, or lack there of, upon teachers or groups for no other reason than to show they know something, are my recent addition to this. Actually, it gets a lot darker than that. I really don't even believe other people exist, but they are figments of a creation all revolving around me. History, didn't happen. People in other rooms, don't exist until the door opens. Before someone exclaims, that's just pure stupidity, there is logic behind it. When I die, what stops me from knowing the world continues. Nothing does, because unless there's some form of heaven or afterlife, I just die and life extinguishes. So technically, anything that doesn't please me, doesn't matter. Your opinion, although I believe your entitled to it, doesn't matter. Yeah, not as dark as you'd expect but I'd rather not put myself out there like everyone else does. Let's just say from what I've read Scheaffer and I are close in the darkness department. But the mean and nasty things, that comprise a dark attitude I can talk about. During the day I really do have evil thoughts. Random destruction of people who constantly put on a show, the tearing down of people on high pedestals, the absolute abhorrence of people I smile at everyday, are all prime examples. I wouldn't be surprised if my tongue had holes in it, due to the massive amount of times I have to bite it in order to maintain my normal composure. Its as if the darkness just invisibly radiates from me, and the insults and retorts I think of are just incredibly deleterious to the human psyche. The asshole within me never up and left, it's just suppressed within my head, hidden from the throngs of people. In any case it's much more fun to say the things to myself, because in the end saying it out loud only caused people to resent my opinions for the beginning. So conclusively, now the ancient dark Insane Clown Posse lyrics and "assholedom" resides locked away in my mind with the rest of my secrets pushing my darkest thoughts and beliefs deep away from the public's sight.
Jon S.
Dude, that line about just making a mark in life is genius. Although as I explained I don't believe there is life after me, I can't deny the possibility it could and if it does I want people to associate my name with the biggest names in history. Whether it be for some amazing accomplishment or some incredibly astonishing, yet horrendous, atrocity, like destroying the foundations of a sound lifestyle in America, so be it. I need to ensure I change the world, somehow so people won't forget me. Yeah it's taking your mark to a whole new level, but it still brings up a good point. Actually now that, I read through your blog for a second time i notice things that are just mind blowing. I understand how you feel when you say you just want to leave this life, leave everything. Why should my life be glorious while there are sixteen year old dudes in some third world country in Africa, that are forced to wield a machete and fight for food on a daily basis? Who decided I should be here and not there? Who decided I should be intelligent enough to write blogs, or athletic enough to play football, or any of the things that I'm graced with. I don't care if it's a precious life that I have, I don't want it. Jon, bro, that was probably the most cogent thing I've ever read.
“An unmistakable desire to do the wrong thing.” Hmm…that sounds familiar, oh wait… that’s what’s on the mind of every teenager in America. Breaking the rules, for teens, is like breathing air. We do it constantly, and we don’t seem to care. But why do we do it? Why are we so intent on breaking the law? Well it’s simply because somebody said “no,” and in the teenage mind, when we hear the word “no” there is an instant desire to disagree. I have the scientific fact to back it up, seriously! http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52206
Scientists found that during adolescent years a section of the brain, which controls judgment and thinking, is developing. The development leads to teenagers coming up with their own beliefs and ideas. Certain ideas formed can lead teens to disagree with rules and authority.
An example of this would be drinking. Look at it this way; do you think drinking would be half as popular, if it were legal? Look at Europe, the drinking age in most places is sixteen and when’s the last time you heard of European teenagers playing beer pong?
I thought about what Alice said too, her comment about girls and bad guys. She noted that a lot of girls are attracted to bad guys, and I think she’s right. Take a girl who has done everything right. She has followed the rules and been in bed by eight her entire life. Then one day she meets a guy, but her friends or family tell her, he’s “bad news.” They say: stay away. For a girl, who has spent her life pleasing everyone, but has yet to see anything in return, the wrong just started to look increasingly right.
Greene hit the nail on the head with "the strength of their denunciation equals the strength of their attraction" I’ve witnessed first hand, at Oakcrest, authority attempting to take control, only to receive greater resist. For example, cell phones, the more announcements and threats that are made if students use them, the more students I see blatantly texting in class.
Now do I have a dark side? Yes, we all do. To quote Mean Girl’s Aaron Samuels: “everyone has good and bad in them; some are just more upfront about it.” I am not upfront about my dark side. To be honest, I don’t know the extent of my dark side; I’ve never been open about it with myself or anyone else; but I think there’s a reason it’s called the “dark” side. This mysterious part of someone is very personal and dangerous and it should stay exactly were it is: in the dark.
I love how when I started my blog there was only 65 comments and now when I finish its 115
Mike:
I competely agree. No one is good or evil. Both are halves of the same whole. We can't escape one or the other, however, we can choose which one to act upon more frequently. I know the panges of guilt. why just today i suffered through them i as i was made aware that i had offended some people. i felt horrible, like a lead ball had replaced my heart and i had lost the ability to breathe. i was horrified i what i had done, by accident! I never want to hurt anyone, offended them, or make them feel uncomfortable; it's just not me. I can only imagine the pain of doing something and knowing what you are actually doing. I think you made a good point and "badass" being synomous with "asshole", hope i got that right, is i feelings exactly.
Goodbye from Sarah using Myra's blog.
I really think myra could get to like sparkly high heels and jeans if she gave them a chancee...
Oh I probably should of said something in my long tirade about how I blatantly choose to do wrong things. I know the difference between right and wrong, but whenever I do wrong things I have a clear head and decide for myself. It's because wrong things bring a certain satisfaction to people. This is honestly not from experience I swear, but drug abusers know its a wrong thing to do. The feeling the drug gives them is euphoric and causes something that is unbelievable so the drug user continue to choose the wrong thing due to the good feeling they get. Sex addicts have the same affliction. Scandalous people understand the dangers of having excessive amounts of sex, but it produces a good feeling so that feeling outweighs the understanding or caring about the right decisions. Cheaters are on in the same on this. All of my wrong decisions I chose, and everyone who lies and says "oh wrong things just happen to me, not from any desire," is wrong. You can give me your example and I'll explain to you where the desire comes from.
I agree that people are attracted to the bad guy, but not due to the fact that they think villains are more genuine. People are drawn to the villain because of their mysterious thoughts and actions, and that mysterious factor causes you to be interested. Curiosity is natural. Whenever you hear the sudden screech of an out of control car’s tires, your head whips around, searching for the culprit. A very common example of human curiosity that never fails to prove itself wrong is when you are on the Expressway stuck in traffic due to an accident. You can see the flashing crimson and blue bursts of light from the parked police car in the distance, yet as soon as your car finally nears the tragic accident, which always turns out to be a disappointing fender bender, you crane your neck and ride your brake, just like every car before you. Could you imagine driving by an accident without looking at it? Well, they do say that curiosity killed the cat.
Don’t get me wrong, bad guys, villains, hustlers, or whatever you want to call them, are some of the most open, and genuine people that you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. Normal people have a barrier that prevents them from doing things that they believe are not right, but villains do the opposite. Bad guys do what they want, and don’t regret how they feel, so they let the world know. Not only do villains possess this dark side. I do believe that it exists deep somewhere in people, but the ‘good’ people have more control over their feelings by bottling them up and saving them for later. Bad guys just let whatever they feel at the time flow freely. In some ways, this free flowing mindset helps one’s internal conflict. A tragic downfall to the nice guy’s ‘bottle it up’ strategy is, after a while, all of these feelings implode, causing an ugly tear in their façade.
Do I have a dark side? Well, I guess so. Doesn’t everybody? It all depends on what you consider dark and evil. I would have to say that yes, I do have an evil side, and it leaps out of the shadows during competitive events, whether it be during a soccer game, academics, or gym badminton. I would have to say that my dark side is seen the most when I am playing soccer. Normally, I start the game calm cool and collected, but all it takes is one dirty look or a blatant shove to ignite my anger. Immediately I’d retaliate, but only to be fair. The next move was hers, and if the girl then continued to grab and yank on my jersey, I’d throw her to the ground. No questions asked.
This isn’t where I was going to go with the blog at all, but after reading a few responses, this topic of the ‘dark side’ reminded me of my friend Gabby. Growing up together, Gabby was probably one of the most happy-go-luck, bubbly, and lively people that I’ve ever encountered. Unfortunately Gabby’s life is really messed up to say the least, and all of this information being personally between me and Gabby, I’ll just say that she doesn’t have a father, had a mother, and sometimes has brothers and sisters. When we were about in 5th grade she moved to Atlantic City where of course I thought nothing would change from her, simply because she was just ‘one of those people.’ But over the years I’ve seen a lot change with Gabby. She’s not happy, and her new friends who have lived the Atlantic City life aren’t happy either. These kids from Ventnor and Atlantic City, well my heart goes out to them because I see the lifestyle habits that have been passed down from their own parents. Some are without dads and even some with dads, have dads in jail. Growing up in the darker side of life, it’s obvious the toll that it has taken on many of these people. Now they themselves are getting into drugs, going to jail, and starting their own unhealthy habits. But what worries me the most is effect that this surrounding of darkness has had on Gabby. In a nutshell Gabby has changed, and she is one of the reasons that I have realized that life isn’t perfect and that people can change. I honestly don’t believe that as human beings we want to explore the evils in life, but rather that these evils have found a way to imbue themselves on us and tempt us to conform to our environments. I know for a fact that if Gabby had grown up in Mays landing rather than AC, she wouldn’t have the abusive boyfriend she has now, she wouldn’t have these drugged out friends, and most of all, that she wouldn’t prefer this lifestyle.
Although I do believe that all of us have a dark side, I believe it’s something that we get trapped into rather than enjoying its presence. I myself can get very disappointed or even depressed when I look at lives like Gabby’s that have just gotten completely torn down. And at emotional moments like these I can see my own dark side come out, where sometimes I can’t see the good or positive things about life, and even at times wonder if were supposed to feel like this. But I disagree to Greene’s statement that we obtain a desire to do the wrong things in life. We’re each dealt different situations in life, and some of these are closer to darkness than others. Don’t get me wrong, although we do live in sheltered Mays landing, all of us have experienced this darkness whether it’s through anger or temptation, but I don’t think many of us understand the full circle idea of characters like hustlers and pimps. The film ‘Good Fellas’ being one of my favorite movies, it’s understandable why people make attempts to mimic the lifestyles of pimps and hustlers, along with the luxuries that they obtain. But what leads to darkness’s downfall and ultimately diminishes its attraction is when its appeal has put one of your best friends in rehab, jail, or in a grave. You see, what darkness really winds up doing, is getting the best of us. There’s no appeal to its temptation and habits, that’s only for the movies. Real darkness comes from the love of money and the overpowering presence of greed. Where it ends is in the downfall of your life, family, and friends. Seeing Gabby become tainted and even corrupted by this cycle constantly passed down from generation to generation, I understand that we don’t create darkness by our weaknesses for evil, but that darkness finds our weaknesses and somehow puts a veil of deception over our heads leading us to evil. Gabby didn’t want this lifestyle, but by being placed in it, it overcame her and ultimately changed her. In the same way I believe that the reality of darkness changes its attraction, and the only way we end up stuck in darkness is not by desiring to live like a hustler, but in leading ourselves to believe that upon acting on this dark side we become our true selves, when in fact we lose a part of ourselves.
Allllright, SO. I was going to read every single person’s blog, but now I feel tired as tired things feel, and shall pass out any second now. However, I adore Bunje so much, that I shall stay up until this thing is done! Even though this seems like the hardest and mind-boggling question we’ve had so far. (There is a mysterious bug that keeps flying around my head. I wonder if its real, and I’m not delirious right now.)
I agree with Robert Greene mostly completely. I think that everyone has a part of them that is drawn to darkness. It seems that the dark ones are in turn, the most intelligent. There are some many examples of this that range from cowboys to dictators. Keith Ledger in Batman to the masked-guy from V for Vendetta. I know that there is not one person who did not at least respect, Mr. Ledger. The roll he played was of a man who ingeniously “played with bombs and explosives.” However, his reasons for doing so were legit. They made me take a step back, and just think, “Huh. That’s a good point.” This is also the same with V for Vendetta. That masked-guy was definitely a “dark” fellow, yet his intentions were well thought out, and presented a new idea for the public to think about. They stay true to their thoughts, and we can see that they do not do these acts out f pure stupidity and boredom.
What draws us to them? Is it human nature? Is it the allure of the unknown and mysterious? Is it the want to rebel? I would say that all those are valid explanations, and that these are probably the reasons that the majority are drawn to the dark side. For me though, I think its just the thrill of trying to comprehend the unknown. The mysteries that are hidden deep beneath those who seem so…interesting. While the most random and complex person might have no thoughts in there heads, the most seemingly trouble-free being may, in fact, be the most multifaceted enigma. I know that I am drawn to the dark side. It is just so natural to be. (This has nothinggg to do with the fact that I find life much more thrilling to rebel.)
Other than rebelling I don’t think I am that “dark”. I don’t do any thing much that can be considered bad. The darkest thing is my lies I think. Even as I tell them though, I feel bad. I lie. Many people do. However, I tend to lie a lot, and on the regular bases. About 95% of my lies are to my parents. I cannot help it. I have lied so much, that they just come naturally now. I lie to protect their feelings and beliefs. (I love how everything eventually comes back to my oppressed life. hahah!) For instance, lets take today. What lies have I told? Alright, starting from the early morning.
My mother knocks on my door before going to work. She asks if I studied enough for my three tests today. I answered, “Yes. I feel confident.” Lie number one.
I go downstairs to get ready for school in silence, for my father had yet to speak to me after taking the SAT’s. My mother told him of my tests, and he also asked, just before I left the door, if I was ready. Again, I answered yes. Lie number two.
I get to my bus stop, and feigned interest in the hideously boring subjects they were talking about. When my friend asked me about her outfit, which looked truly dreadful, I answered, “Uh, it’s lovely!” Lie number three. (FYI: I don’t do that often, but I don’t really care for this girl’s complaints and conversations.)
I could continue on, but that what be increasingly hard because my day was a huge blur, and I have the worst memory. My dark side is there I suppose, but I think it is more of an unidentified moving object inside of me, that I have yet to define. If, by chance, I do surrender to the “dark side”, then I think the object will become clearer and clearer. Until then, I think that it is hidden too well inside of me that I can only see the shadows at the moment.
Now, I will leave you with lyrics of my favorite song when I’m in that i-hate-boys mood which is dark, at least to boys. =)
Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karaoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo...
And he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
Greene makes a valid point, but it is not completely true. People are infact drawn to pimps/hustlers/seducers but not because they are genuine, more for the fact that they are feared, persuasive, and able to help form minds. If you look back on history, you can find an abundance of examples of people being drawn to the villian.
1. Jack the Ripper
People from all around ran to newsstands awaiting the latest information on the hot topic of a serial killer. Despite the fact that this man may have selected you for his next slaying,after reading all the headlines, women would run around in the middle of the night (hussies!) perfectly aware of the dangers they may be faced with. These are the seekers, the bad asses, and the cavalier. In other words, these are the people who are either so drawn by the fear that they must see for themselves or so stupid to leave the house in the middle of a killing spree looking for some extra cash.
2. The Joker
In The Dark Knight (yumm Christian Bale <333 RIP HEATHY<333) The Joker stands in the middle of a meeting of villians, all of whom hate the joker as much as batman, and insults the men and even kills one man. How did he get away with this you ask? Persuasion. Another trait that draws people to villians is their inate ability to persuade people. They could turn a crowd of christians into a mob of heathens with a monologue and some promises. This is just a movie, but weak minds can be easily swayed.
3. Charles Manson
You would never believe that in the time of peace over war, one man actually influenced a mass amount of young adults to follow his praises and laws calling himself jesus. Though a lot of the people of this time were high 24/7, the fact that these young people had weak and unformed minds meant that anything seemingly well founded could shape someone's life. Charles Manson successfully has 3 young girls engage in a murder of an actress. If someone asked you to kill, do you think you would? Manson also had the help of his charisma and persona, but that is a whole other topic.
Recently I was talking to an old friend who, back in the day, invited me into his gang. "You'll be the first and only girl!" he promised. Yeah right! This boy is still in a gang. Not the one from middle school, but one he runs himself. He says he can't get out, even if he wanted to. It's just part of the rules . Regulations from a never before seen rule book have such an impact on people. A forbidden step that you may never take for if you do, another man will have a teardrop under his eye. "All i wanna do is ! ! ! !"
Vikkie
The joker is my idol. Good example
Jani I love reading your blogs. They're always different and insightful, probably because you're tripping out on acid while you're writing them. Anyway, I definitely got what you were trying to say. I know what you mean about thinking about some crazy questions until your head starts to hurt, and this one definitely did that to me. I think reading these posts might have made it even worse. I honestly have no idea what to think.
Meg Song: I really liked your blog, seeing as i read it from bottom to top, that is until i saw the biggest flaw in all of mankind. KIETH LEDGER?!?!?!
HEATH LEDGER!!!!!
you make me want to cry ):
Jon - Your life is easy. Compared to so many who have so much less. Your life is great, even heavenly for them. They could only dream of having it. But, are you going to waste it by not living it to the fullest?? Your intelligent, and you know it, i won't pretend you're not. Why not use that intelligence to make yourself happy, and live after 25. Come on jon, 25? I think you could make it longer than ANYONE if your just tried. Seriously, you've already made an impact on so many lives for the better. Like this blog for instance. I think i speak for everyone when i say that your pieces are phenomenal, and have chenged everyone's perspective of life, even by a little. Imagine what you could do, how many minds you could change, if you survived past 25, 32, 48, 99. Just imagine the possibilities of what living could accomplish, not what leaving the world would.
Oh crap, forgot the last part!
My dark side recently consists of stress crying, stress screaming, and stress lashing out. Yes, all due to stress. Suprise suprise. I have never cried as much as i have this year and it is crazy to me. everyone of my family members and close friends have gotten my lashings in the past few months. I feel bad for them, but not that bad!
p.s. dont be my close friend unless you want me to yell at you! :p
Vikkie. It is 11pm. I got home from tennis at 7 pm. I ate dinner till 8pm. I've been doing hw since then. I cannot see in my right eye because it hurts. I can't comprehend right now for lack of sleep. MY BAD.
But the truth is, we all love a rebel. Somebody who gets out there and shakes things up a bit, somebody who possesses those "dark" qualities. Why not? They make the world interesting. If it weren't for the "bad guys" we would all be so bored with our lives. And it's true that these people are often in touch with their inner selves. They are genuine and they know what they want out of life.
-Devon Palermo
--Unfortunately this statement is so very true. There’s something so mysterious and puzzling about these bad boys. Despite their shadiness as well as ability to be excellent liars, there’s some sort of energy that they inexplicably are able to simply wave around over a girl’s heart. But something that I’ve learned about the latter part of the sentence is that although these boys know what they want out of life, I’ve realized that sometimes it’s not really what they need out of life. But we’re all still young, and it’s a learning experience that all girls as well as guys go through, just remember it’s important to not get hung up on these mysterious bad boys. (This doesn’t pertain to Mike at all just so you know<3)
Still I think I fail to appreciate life.
-Jon S
--Recently I’ve been looking at how messed up life can be and at times not knowing my place in it. And for some reason thoughts like these make me look out at the world, and think about how mindless and ungrateful people are in this world. But reading your blog made me realize the fact that as human beings, our ability to see bad in others shows the good in ourselves. You see if we we’re all self seeking, oblivious and heartless to the people around us we wouldn’t even take the time to interpret how they view life. But the ability to not only view this ugliness in ourselves as well as in others shows how selfless and maybe even deserving we are of life. You being a self testimony of appreciation of your role in this world, people’s minds, and everybody’s existence in life should prove to you that you are a admirable person worthy of the life you were blessed with.
BRITT= "Could you imagine driving by an accident without looking at it? Well, they do say that curiosity killed the cat."
I love that, and it is so true. Everyone is curious, even if its not something one wants to be caught being curious about.
it's okay, i a still love you asian girl <33
please, please, PLEASE stop mentioning... heath ledger's name. I refuse to even WATCH the batman movie, only because WHY would I want to see the film that drove him crazy? well, not literally, because it was an accident.. but still. It gets me so upset when people mention it, because I've been in love with him for SO LONG. so I'd appreciate it if you didn't =]
Aww Abby. That's a really insightful point. Honestly, when I wrote that last sentence I wasn't really thinking as hard as I should have been. It was one of those things that just came out, and I definitely agree with what you're saying. I didn't think anyone really read my blogs anyway. Hahah, but there certainly are boys that have this effect, and girls need to watch out :).
To Dan (even though it's over):
I wasn't that deferential, was I? I mean, I was polite and respectful, but I don't think that I submit to doing things I don't like for people, right? I DO WHAT I WANT!!!
To anyone who might check on this later:
Sarah gave me the knife because I thought it ws pretty and like sharp objects.
I'm not kidding when I say give choclate for commenting. Alice, see me for you chocolate, Matty W you too.
Sarah is evil by abusing my name.
Done
WHA?!?! O.o!!!! I get chocolate?!?! REALLY?!?!
Bunj-
Oh,my lord.
I just watched REC, and I felt compelled to let you know. I'm pretty sure that the "original" girl zombie was the scariest thing ever. Seriously. I was like 8O the entire time. :(
But it was still pretty slammin'.
Hope you found time to watch Dead-Alive, cause we most definitely have to discuss it. :P
And I'm bringing Shutter for you, as well, so be prepared. :D
Reesey--
WORD!!
Post a Comment